532: How I Found My Purpose, Transformed After My Divorce + A Channeled Message For 2024 with Sahara Rose + Hayley Lloyd

We can live in utopia. It's just we have to create it, and we have chosen to be in this time. That's the first and only time that we remember what a life looks like without this level of telepathy that we have. That the podcast is actually telepathy, because I am sharing my thoughts that in another space and time, someone else is receiving and having the frequency of this could have never happened before. They would have never let someone like me be on the radio before. So it's not that the social media is bad. It can help us. It's just the ways that our ego selves are using it to really mask the sense of unimportance that we collectively feel. There's a huge sense that I'm not important, but when we realize the importance comes from us living our dharma, not from getting hits of attention from other people, then that feeling is permanently gone. Welcome back to the Highest Self podcast. My name is Sahara Rose, and on this podcast I love to take spirituality and make it really grounded, fun, accessible, so it can serve your needs today. And this is a bit of a different conversation because you get to hear me on the other side of the microphone. I am being interviewed by one of my mastermind students, Haley, where she asks me a lot of really deep questions, diving into how I became this version of me today. So in this, I really vulnerably open up to the issues I faced in my early 20s, from health challenges to family issues and really stepping into my purpose, not knowing if I would ever be able to make money doing what I loved, if that was even possible, and all of the limiting beliefs that I had to face to finally step into writing my books and later launching this podcast and creating my Highest Self Institute. And then I open up about something that happened more recently that was even harder than that, I would say, which was the darkest night of my soul so far, at the end of 2022, when I got divorced. So I open up about what I learned through that experience and how it shifted me from a soul level. And I'm sure if you've been listening to this podcast, you can feel the shift. It really anchored me so much deeper into my truth, my expression, my artistry, my sensuality and my power. And then we kind of just start going there. We enter into the void, the unknown, and I begin channeling a message live for you on this conversation. So buckle up. It's a journey. It's a transmission you will feel when we move into that channeled state. And wherever you're listening to this, know that it's in divine timing. This episode found you right now for a reason. So follow the breadcrumbs to trust the red thread and know that everything that is happening right now, even though it may feel so unfair and difficult, and sometimes you even feel like, is God punishing me? Like, how am I going through this right now? Know that one day you'll be sharing your story on the other side. So before we get into this episode, I invite you to hit subscribe so you can stay notified for more conversations like this. The podcast comes out on Spotify, Apple, as well as YouTube. It's a full video, so you can actually watch us and have the full experience. So hit hit subscribe and that's the best way to stay tuned. And without further ado, let's get started on this conversation. I am an author. I've written three books. I'm a podcast host, host of the number one spirituality podcast, Highest Self. And really beyond that, I'm an ancient soul in a modern body here to bring ancient wisdom to the world in a really playful, modern, grounded and practical way. So along my journey of, you know, creating my, my business Dharma coaching institute now Highest Self Institute, and, you know, things which we'll get into in the business realm, the way that I've done it is, has been with like so much just integrity and heart and joy and bringing this new frequency that, you know, I feel like often in the spiritual community or the business community, it's a lot of just doing things the way that it's been done before. And I'm really here to be a trailblazer of like, let's bring in some twerk, let's bring in some ancient goddess Isis codes, let's bring in this like, new channel. And you know, and what my gift is is really in seeing people and seeing their message and seeing their method, which we'll get into your incredible new met and, and that's why I created Visionary Mastermind and like, you're like soulmate client here. Because I love, I just like love everything that you stand for. And I'm so happy that this is our first, your first in studio podcast. And you have shifted so much over the past three days. And like, that's what I'm here to do of like here to bring out people's Dharma, their, their soul's purpose. And really that's what my work centers around. This word of, of Dharma being your soul frequency, the big reason why you're here, your energetic signature. And it's not just what you do. But it's how and through me stepping into my own dharma, not just as a podcast host, author, business owner, but also as a DJ and a musician and a music producer and a dancer, and all these different things and bringing them all together, also being of service to humanity. A big cause of mine is human trafficking, and bringing that frequency of, like, being of service to something so much larger than us, like people who don't just listen to podcasts and bringing it all together in a way that's fucking fun. And that's what I'm here to do.

Oh, my God, I love it. And this was exactly why I decided to come into your space, because you do blend business with spirituality with, you know, you're. You're one of the first few people that I actually started consuming your podcast, like, years ago, you know, before I even had, like, this business. And it was one of the things that actually really got me into spirituality, like, at that time. I don't even think I've told you that, but it's one of those things that, personally, for me is such, like, it's such an indicator of integrity. And I talk a lot about authority, feminine authority. And you are the epitome of, like, a feminine authority. You are living your dharma. You are fully authentic. You are fully, like, in yourself and grounded in yourself. And I think what even has just been made more clear to me even this weekend, is like, how embodied you really are in everything that you teach, which is like, just so, so, so incredible. So you've spoken a lot about the different areas that you are passionate in, the areas that you are an authority in, and you talk a lot about Dharma. And I have quite a few people in my audience that maybe don't know what. So could you just explain what discovering your dharma means?

Yeah, it. It started with me, you know, flashback. Over 10 years ago. I was 21 years old, and my body began shutting down. Started with not getting my period. One month, six months, for two years. I didn't get a period at all. And I couldn't eat food without being in so much pain. And so I just went on a journey of self healing, which brought me to Ayurveda, which is the sister science of yoga, based on the mind body connection. So I started to first eat Ayurvedically and then learn more about the science and about these archetypes. And I was not just healing my body, but my mind was shifting. And I went from being someone who had a lot of ideas. I want to do this. I want to create that. I want to do this, but not taking action to, like, actually being able to integrate and embody the work that I'm here to do. And as I noticed that my mind was shifting and eventually got my period back and my digestion back, I just wanted to write a book about this and share this wisdom with other people. However, my family comes from Iran, which is, you know, probably the most oppressed place on earth. Growing up, no woman in my family has ever worked. You know, my grandmother was in a forced child marriage, and everyone in my family has been in a forced child marriage. So I was brought up that the most important thing I would do is who I would marry. So who. Here I am now after college and I had this, like, boyfriend that I thought I was going to marry. We break up, and now I'm saying I want to write a book on Ayurveda. And my parents are like, you're freaking crazy. Like, you need to either get a job or find a husband. And I'm like, like, no. Like, I want to follow, like, this inkling in my heart. And they were just, they were concerned, but it turned into them being just really kind of ruthless. So here I was now 23 years old, and I'm like, trying to write this book on Ayurveda. I've never met an author before. I had no idea what the book writing process was like, but I just could see my book one day on the shelves of Barnes and Nobles to help other girls like me who had digestive and hormonal imbalances, anxiety, insomnia, like, the whole host of things that that comes with. And, you know, going from doctors telling me I would never be able to have children again, I would probably be handicapped by the time I'm 50 years old. Like, all of these really big things to healing my body. I was like, this wisdom needs to be out into the world. But I don't know how to get from point A to point B. And I just have to trust that if I follow this, I'll figure it out. But then things with my family kept getting worse. And eventually it reached this one day that I was, you know, I had no money, so I had to go back home and live with my parents, which was so freaking hard. And one day my dad, I was like, telling him, like, I want to go back to India. And he's just like, you're such a loser. He's like, you are just a failure and you're the scum of the earth and you're not my daughter. And, like, to hear that coming from, like, the one person who I spent my entire life, like, trying to get his approval, like, trying to be enough for him. Like, my dad had Asperger's, so he's like, very, like, you know, you have to be the best and you. And very cut off emotionally and lacks empathy. And now from this perspective, I can see he said that because he was, like, trying to just get me to change. And maybe he thought if he said, like, the worst things ever to me, that would, like, cause me to take a different direction. But at that moment, being in my childhood playroom and seeing all my dolls and, like, thinking of all the memories of my parents being like, yeah, like, you can be anything you want when you grow up. And, like, here I am actually trying to do it, and I'm a loser, a failure, scum of the earth, dead to him. And I was like, was this all, like, did they tell you, follow your dreams? And then here I am doing it, and what do. What do I get? You know, Like, I get disowned. And in that moment, this, like, feeling of numbness took over my body, of just like, wow. So if I have no one left to live for, then I'm just gonna live for myself. If I'm dead to him, let me just live. Like, I don't exist to him then. So what do I actually want to do? And that was, like, really the first time I started to ask myself, if there weren't parents, there wasn't approval, there wasn't anyone else, what do I want? And this girl that I met in Bali, she said, I'm hosting a retreat in India. I had never hosted retreat in my life. She's like, you can come teach Ayurveda and belly dancing on this retreat, and we'll get you enough money for a flight back to India. And I was just like, okay, I'll just do that. And so I went, and, you know, in India, I lived. And $2 a night huts, because that's what I could afford. I was, like, a health coach. So I had, like, one client at a time. It was like 250amonth. I lived on that. Like, and when I say huts in India, I mean, like, padlock huts in the back of restaurants to the point that there were rats above my. About above my roof all the time, like a tin roof. And, like, I remember one day, it's actually kind of gross, but I would hear the rats, like, fighting and playing and shit all the time. And my hut, no one could get into my hut because there was A lock. And I was noticing my underwear was like always halfway through the walls. And I'm just like, why is my underwear in the. Like, literally no one can get in here. And then I'm realizing, these fucking rats, they're trying to take my underwear. Like, they're trying to build their little house with it. I'm like, you fucking rats. And these aren't little cute rats. These aren't the little raccoons I repost. These are gnarly ass Indian rats. Oh, man. And then one day I like, I was hearing them and I woke up and my mosquito net was like, like this close inches away from my face because the rat had fallen on was like scouring my face. And I like, took my sandal. I'm like throwing it at the rat, trying to get it to leave. Like, that's the conditions I lived in. Gosh. Because I wouldn't go back to living in a comfortable home, but not living my purpose. So that, to me, is what living your dharma is. It's trusting this inkling in your soul that you're here for something bigger. You don't have the evidence. You don't know how you're going to monetize it. You don't even know if you're going to make it. Like, maybe this part of me, it wasn't like I just believed in myself all the time. Like, there were so many times that I'm just like, you know what? I'm just going to become a real estate agent. That's what my family wants me to do. It would be so much easier. But then every time I would try to study for the real estate exam, I would like cry because it was so not me. So it was like two steps forward, one step back. Two steps forward, one step back. And it was just building that trust and that trust and flash forward. It really took me two years to be able to figure out how to write that book again. I had no. I didn't know what a book proposal was. I didn't know any of these things. I just thought, you write a book and then I'll know when I figure it out, when the next step comes. And then we can go into the story. Eventually I did get a book deal. And eventually, you know, the rest goes on. But I share that with you because it wasn't like I was comfortable. And then I wrote a book and like, here I am. It's like I had to experience my greatest fucking nightmares. Not just then again and again and again. And that is how I'm the embodiment of who I am today. And that's what living your dharma is. It's going into your greatest pain and making that into your purpose.

Wow, I haven't heard some of these stories, which is so interesting. So I'm, like, also sat here just digesting it all because I didn't know that you started out as a health coach. And I didn't know that there was a lot of those struggles for you. And it's interesting hearing you talk about, like, dharma and the association with pain that it has, like, working through your pain. Because I think that this is something that actually holds a lot of people back from building authority and from building businesses is the judgment that they may get from friends, family, from the people around them. It's something that held me back for so long. It kept me in a corporate job for so long. You know, I. Even when my business was making more money than my corporate job, you know, my parents were still like, well, it's so stable. Like, why would you leave?

It's stupid to leave.

You know? And it's like. It's that kind of, like, training that we have from such a young age, which is, like, this is the safe route. If you step outside of that, then it's not safe. And there is this kind of. Whether it's a motherly or fatherly desire to keep you safe, which can come out as, like, quite. I don't want to say abusive, but, like, in. In a way that is just. It really hurts, you know, It's a really painful experience to have your parents be like, what are you doing? You know? And I think me and my sister both. We've both ended up in kind of alternative careers. You know, I'm building a business online. My sister's a guitarist. And my dad had high hopes of my sister going to Harvard. And me, okay, Hayley's gonna do art. That was more my thing. But it was still, like, he had these ideas of what we were gonna do. And when we didn't f that, it became very difficult for him to, like, support us fully in everything that we wanted to do. Now they're, you know, our biggest supports. But it's incredible, like, the impact that that kind of upbringing can have on how fast we move into our dharma. So I'm curious to know, like, if someone is in that place right now where maybe they are fearing that judgment or maybe they do have parents or friends or colleagues that aren't supportive and are maybe saying things like your father said to you. What can they do to move through that, how can they move through that pain?

So I want to dissect something you just said, that, like, having parents like that can slow down our path of living our dharma. And what I've realized now, it's the opposite. That that's actually why I live my dharma. That had my dad not questioned me, had he not not believed in me, I wouldn't have believed in myself, you know, if I had the parents, you know, And a lot of people who have parents like that, they struggle with really stepping into their. Their purpose. If they're just like, you're amazing, you're gon. And everything, it's like there almost needs to sometimes be a little bit of that friction, a bit of that resistance that causes you to spring forward. And I remember writing about this story in my book discover your Dharma. And I knew my parents would not want the story in there, you know, and my parents did a lot of great things for me as well, and they did the best as they could. My mom was a refugee that fled the war from Iran. Like, you know, there's a lot of collective trauma in our lineage. And there's always levels of, you know, in Maslow's hierarchy, when we have our basic wants, our needs, our wants, we reach for self actualization. And that's what a lot of us in this generation are. But I would say if I didn't have that questioning, I wouldn't have really started to ask myself, like, am I. Am I someone that has a purpose? You know, I didn't even think about that before. What does it mean to have a purpose is a purpose, an action is a thing that we do? And also really asking myself of, am I taking advice from people whose lives I want to Emily, like, do. Do I want to live like my dad, you know, who sacrificed and worked really hard, and still he's in his 70s and just works, works, works, works for. For what? You know, and it's like, we. We really. Part of this path of stepping into our own sovereignty is like, who am I taking advice from? Do I want to live a life like them? And I think we're just so used to seeing our parents as our authority that that's really what stepping into our own inner authority is like. Is like, what does my inner guidance have to say without anyone else, without my. Not just parents, friends, upbringing, relationships? Like, especially as women, we put other people's expectations first before our own. Like, you know, a huge part of my journey was getting divorced this past year. And like, all the ways that I only saw A world where I was married to him. So I limited my dharma what I wanted. Like, there were so many times him and I would have a conversation of, like, you know, not so many times. Honestly, could have been more like, what do you really want in lifetime? And I'm like, for me, I would love to live in the jungles, like in Bali or Costa Rica. And I'm surrounded by my tribe, and we're drumming and we're dancing, and we're, like, living in community, and we're eating fruits we're making in waterfalls. Like, that would be, like, my highest timeline. He's like, I would never want that. And I was just like, okay, so I guess we're not doing it. Like, I was willing to give up on what I wanted in this lifetime to maintain a relationship.

Yeah.

You know, and willing to just be like, I guess I'll adapt to you. Because me being with you is more important than me being with me. So it's like all these ways that we give up our power, our authority, our dharma, and then when we aren't willing to step into it ourselves. Universe puts situations that are so painful that you have no choice. And that's the energy of karma. You know, a lot of people think karma is what goes around, comes around. If you actually look at it, means. Means bounded action by the universe. So I see it as you're born on a highway living your dharma. You were born as a child full of creativity, full of imagination, full of the very things that you are here to share. But then as you're going on cruise control on this highway, society is like, get off this exit. You know, the school teachers say you're moving too much. You must have adhd. Oh, you'll make more money if you do that. Your parents will love you to do that. Everyone from where you grew up does this. So you must also do that. It's not possible for you to do this. And then we're getting off these exits, and before we know it, we're, like, the only ones still on the highway. Everyone has gotten off an exit. We're like, shit, if I don't get off an exit now, it might be too late. So let me just get off the. The one that's closest to me right now. And then the universe responds of like, that's not your direction. That's not your path. Knock, knock, knock. Anxiety. A little feeling something's off. But most of the time, we still don't listen. And we keep going off that exit. And the universe is like, okay, I'm gonna get a little louder for you, honey. And it's like, it down. Punch, punch, punch. You know, like, really bad anxiety, maybe panic attacks, you know, maybe you actually get into, like, a physical accident. Sometimes we change, but a lot of times we think, life's tough. Get a helmet, keep going, drink more coffee, take more drugs.

What we're taught to do something else.

Numb. Keep getting off that exit. And then a bunch of doomers like, oh, yo, bitch, I'm gonna fuck this shit up. And it's like, collision on your knees moment, divorce. Something really big that you have no choice but to listen. And again, some people don't. Some people just live in karma. After karma, after karma, after karma. But those who are listening to this podcast right now, they know if. If something is feeling so out of alignment, it is the universe responding to you, saying that your energy is not aligned with your Dharma. And then when you make that u turn and you shift towards what makes you come alive, then all of a sudden, you're in kriya. Boundless energy by the universe. And that is when you meet the right person at the right time that says the right thing. And then, like, Here you are 20 steps ahead when you've actually only taken one because the universe is supporting you, because you're doing the very thing that you're here to do. So it's all this energetic support that's like, yes, bitch, keep going, Keep going. And it's almost like you take a passenger seat behind, like, you getting. Hearing the podcast and that, planning the seed. And then, like, now here you are in this mastermind. You created your method, and it's like, boom. Like, this weekend, like, shifted your entire trajectory of your life, literally. And that's the energy of Korea, and that's how life was meant to live. Yeah, we're actually meant to live in the state all the time. We're just so used to looking at how other people live. Karma, karma, karma. And really, that's bounded action. Those are the barricades on the side of the highway. You're not supposed to live like this. You're supposed to live in flow, in synchronicity. And synchronicity. Synchronicity is so much beyond angel numbers. I love. I love me some angel numbers. But it's like when you hear something on the podcast that says exactly what you need. When you hear a song, that's that message. When someone says something in a conversation just lands a certain way. Like, maybe right now, if someone has chills, if someone's listening to this like you're in Korea. But then it's up to us, our sovereignty, our authority to take action on that, to keep moving towards that. Because the universe will also test us. You know, it will say, you know, you said you were over that. You know that soul contract of yours, let me just give it to you in another, another boy or another business dealer. Another this, another that. And it's like, are you gonna do that dance again? Eventually you'll hit your karma, rock bottom moment. But do you want to waste another three months and three years of therapy or are you willing to do this thing right now? And that's how you quantum leap. That's how I've been able to create at this age of 32, a multi seven figure business. But it's the least interesting thing about me, like been able to create like a life that I freaking love and that I'm able to just share my creativity. Like this morning I'm like editing my music video and you know, I'm thinking, do I want to go to India or Egypt for initiation this January? And like my life is in devotion to my Dharma and that is how all of us were meant to live. Do you hear the song playing in the background? That's my voice. Yes. My new song, Be the Vibe is now out. This song really shares my story of overcoming my divorce and awakening the goddess in me and remembering who I used to be, letting go of the adversity and tuning into simplicity because this life was meant to be free. Those are some of the lyrics. And you know, for me, my musical journey has been majorly stuck in tapping into my voice. Like growing up I was always told, oh, you're such a bad singer, don't sing. And I just never felt comfortable in that medium. But I've always been very musical. I was a dancer, I was a pianist. And it just feels so good coming back home into production. I produce all of these songs as well as write, sing, and soon to be rapping in them as well. So you can stream Be the Vibe wherever you listen to music on Spotify, on Apple. This is the perfect song to just like get you in the zone. Whether you're taking taking your hot girl walk or you're relaxing during the holidays, or you just need a little morning pick me up to get your mind in the right vibe. This song is for you, so you can find the link in the show notes. And I'm so excited to share a piece of my heart with you. Sensual energy is literally healing. When you connect your sensual energy, you are Restoring every single cell in your body. You are opening your heart, your womb, and reconnecting to the very life force that created all of us. But we're so disconnected from sensuality in our culture, whether we're single or in relationship. So that's why sometimes it's helpful to listen to short, sexy audio stories that are designed by women for women that bring scenarios to life with immersive soundscapes and realistic characters. I'm talking about second chance romances, adventurous vacation flings, hot and heavy carnival hookups. Well, just mine. Vampires, Greek gods, fairies, whatever your flavor is, Dipsy has it all. So let it be your go go to place to spice up your me time, explore your fantasies, relax, unwind, or even heat things up with your partner. For listeners of the show, Dipsy is offering an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipsystories.com Sahara that's 30 days of full access for free when you go to dip S E A stories.com Sahara dipsystories.com Sahara and you can find that link in the show notes, notes. So trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom, trust your inner guidance.

Wow, I wish that I'd heard you talk about this. Like when I was in some of my darkest moments. And what's interesting is in the mastermind that we, we were just in over the weekend, the first thing that we did that you had us do was we wrote a letter to our pain. And I thought at the time I was just like, this is such an odd place to start, but it really makes you realize how much, especially for people that are thought leaders that do have the desire to become an authority, often it is the people that have been through the most that potentially have experienced the most pushback. And it becomes this like really, you know, as long as you don't make it define you, it becomes such fuel. And I think for me, I've definitely realized like even authority that came out of pain, it became because it came out, I was so angry and hurt that I needed to find an answer and a solution. And it's often, you know, our anger, our pain, our hurt can be, you know, the areas that we're most passionate about. It's the areas that we experience the most chaos in sometimes that we want to teach in that we want to learn in. And it's just so interesting. When we were doing that exercise, I was like, wow, if it hadn't been for all of these things that have happened and there's been a lot, there's been a lot of stuff Then I would not be here in this mastermind having this conversation with you right now. And so I just think it's so interesting, this kind of roundabout way that that pain really can fuel all of this. And so for anyone that what's one action that they can potentially take to move past that fear and get back into alignment with the universe and listen to those soul pulls, if they're really scared. Because it's very easy to say it. It's very easy to be like, okay, just listen to the universe. It's clearly realigning me. But as you said, so many people don't. So many people are like, well, I'll just repeat this lesson again for those people that. That there's real fear there. What would you say to them?

So it's first shifting the narrative of I can't live my purpose because of this pain. It's like, because of this pain, I will live my purpose. This purpose is the thing that you will be on stages one day. Sharing about. It is the thing that you will write books about. It is that very fertile soil from which your purpose will blossom. And if this. I believe this world is our school and that our soul gives us a curriculum specifically for what we need to embody our dharma. So you were born with the Dharma. Let's say your dharma is to bring beauty to the world. But then you have to go through the curriculum of actually being the embodiment of bringing beauty to the world. So you need to know what it's like to live in ugliness, to live in despair, to go to places where there is no beauty and be the bridge of beauty there. That is where the actual embodiment of this comes to be. So look at the situation. What is this teaching me? What is this the training grounds of if the universe made this the perfect classroom for me to become the very thing that I'm here to share. What is this lesson teaching me right now? And a really easy practice that I always suggest people to do if they're kind of making a big decision of, should I this, should I that? Because that's what life is. It's. It's full of decisions. It's called my Four Layers of Intuitive Guidance, students. So what you're going to do is you're going to take a piece of paper and you're going to, like, make a little cross on there. And let's say you're sitting with a decision of, like, should I move somewhere, should I sign up for this course, etc. First, you write down everything Your head has to say. So write down your head's chatter, write down the facts, the information we need to give our head, the microphone. Otherwise, if we don't actually just honor what it has to say, it's going to be seeping into those little corners of our consciousness. Right? We can't ignore it. So write down everything the head has to say.

Say.

Then take a moment to close your eyes, breathe, and connect your heart and tuning into the energy of the heart, which has its own electromagnetic frequency. And wisdom. What does your heart have to say? The realm of feelings, emotions, does it expand, contract, and the heart is one part of it. People say, follow your heart. You can't only follow your heart because the heart can have emotional highs and lows that if you make decisions from that place, you can kind of preemptively move somewhere. But it also carries just a deeper form of wisdom. So what does your heart have to say about this? So, for example, I wanted to write a book. My head said, who are you? You don't have a book deal. You know, you're not, you're not a doctor. How are you gonna make money doing this? This is never gonna happen. My head, my heart. You went through these health challenges for a reason. And the fact that you were able to overcome them with this wisdom in your own way, there has to be a reason behind this. And oh my God, I would just love to be able to like, I love writing and I would love to be able to just like, give this crystallization of what I've learned to someone. And my heart would just feel so ful. Just envisioning that. Then the next layer is the body. Now, what does the body have to say? So the body, it speaks in sensation. So you can think about the different decision. Does one of them make your body expand, move bigger, open up? Does one decision make you contract, close your heart, shut down? Is there one decision you want to move towards? You know, like the pendulum, practice. Do you want to move towards one, away from one, one? When you think about the different decisions, do you feel a sensation in your stomach? Maybe you feel butterflies, nervousness. Sometimes they feel quite similar. Do you feel tension in your shoulders? Do you feel like you're carrying the weight of the world? Tension your hips? Are you carrying suppressed emotion? Tension in your knees, your ankles, afraid to take the next step? So using the body as a compass and feeling into those sensations as the body, because the body can't lie, like, the heart changes all the time, whereas the body is a very slow accumulation. It's the lifetime of your stories, right? And then the last quadrant is your intuition, the part of you that sees it all and is beyond. It's connected to the energy of your highest self. So taking account all of this and then also connecting to something greater than you. So I really love to close my eyes and imagine I'm underneath a waterfall and I'm just letting this waterfly, just waterfall, just purify and release all the stories, the. The voices of my parents, the voices of society, what I've seen on social media, whatever the stress is, and just let the waterfall release it. And imagining my highest self in front of me. And for me, my highest self, it looks like me, but it's like this radiant goddess version of me that she's just like a queen and she's wearing her white, white robe, and she knows who the fuck she is, and she doesn't question herself. And I ask her for her guidance and I let her speak through me. And the way that I do this is I ask highest self, what wisdom do you have for me? And I just breathe and the thoughts come in my own voice. Sometimes we, like, imagine, like, Morgan Freeman's voice. I'm God. Like, it's not how it is. It's our own voice. But to me, it has this expansive energy to it that that's. It's never the voice of, like, you're never gonna make it. It's never gonna happen. It's always, like. Allows me to see things from a bird's eye perspective. So with that, taking account my head, my heart, my body, my intuition, oftentimes then I'll know what the answer is. And then I haven't bypassed any of my layers. I'm really honoring where my nervous system is at, what's actually happening in my life, but also knowing that this moment right here is the very moment that I will one day I share. You know, right now, going through my divorce, it's bringing up a lot on relationships and how I've tied my worthiness to men and, like, all of these things. And it can be like, so many times I'm like, how the. Can I work? You know, dating takes up so much space in my mind, you know, or not. I'm not even just thinking about it. And then I'm like, you know what? Because one day, once I figure this shit out, I will write a book on this and I will share with other people this. And this is just the sole curriculum I'm in right now.

Now. Yeah. I have so many directions that I want to ask you questions on. And I think a big part of this is, like, this process. Like, this makes so much sense to me right now. There was a time where I was really disconnected from my body and really disconnected from my intuition, from someone that has experienced, like, acute trauma, ptsd. I was very, very numb in my body for a while, and it really, really took a long time for me to start refinding that sensitization, like, in my body so that I could know what was a yes, what was a no. Like, was there any aches and, like, in my body and that there, the body and the intuition is such a huge tie to spirituality, you know, which is probably one of the biggest connection points between us. Like, I remember when I was at this shamanic practitioner training, and we were connecting with the spirits of the land, and I had this real desire going in. I was like, I really want to channel. I'm a starseed, you know, I want to channel like galactic beings. I want to meet, like, aliens and everything. And this ancestor of the land came down, and he basically showed me this channel connecting to the earth and to the sky. And he was like, if you want to connect up there, you need to connect down here. You are so out of your body. And he started actually saying wagga wagga, which is an aboriginal term, which, when we googled it afterwards, basically means dance. And I find it so funny that, you know, I've ended up working with you, and you're all about, like, the twerking and everything. But it really just just goes to show that if you want, like, a spiritual connection, even with your higher self, you know, and have that, like, being able to follow your dharma, you need to get back into your body. And so I'm curious from your perspective, like, what is something that people can do to maybe if they are feeling a little bit disconnected, you know, especially if you're in corporate, this isn't potentially, like, a conversation that you're having as much. I definitely didn't, you know, in that. In that time of my life. So what is something that people can start to do to get to know their body more, get to know their intuition more?

So I highly recommend having a daily embodiment practice. So the word embodiment means M. M to be in body, meant to be in the state of the body. So you would think, well, aren't I always in my body and I live here? But most of us are energetically in our heads. We're analyzing, we're thinking we're two steps ahead, Even right now, as you Listen to this podcast. Like, are you multitasking, Doing a bazillion different things? Like, where are your feet? How does your stomach feel? How are you breathing? How are you holding your posture? Do you even feel your hips? Do you feel your womb? Just taking a moment right now to remember you're in a human body.

Maybe we can just take that moment right now.

Just letting the energy move and flow through you. And then just starting with our feet, feeling our feet ground into the earth beneath us, feeling ourselves here in this part of planet Earth where we are grounded. And feeling that energy just push down into the earth now, coming from our legs. And then our womb space, the part of us that holds the hologram of the universe. We each carry within us an ability to create life, to create visions, to create businesses, to create books, to create possibility. Whether you have a physical womb or not, this is our hara, our energetic center. It is the 3D printer of reality. And just connecting to your womb right now and breathing from this womb space as you bring circular movements, just really circulating your hips, feeling the wave, the spiral, and letting it be slow and sensuous like honey. Ah, yes, that's it. Letting your body just move so sweetly, so sensuously at her own divine timing and from this honey like energy in the world, bringing it to your belly, feeling your inner fire, your ability to create, to digest, to metabolize, to assimilate, to transmute. You are constantly digesting life. So giving that digestive fire within you some love now. Bringing the energy up to your heart, taking a deep breath in and letting this heart cage just open up. It is safe to let the butterflies out. It is safe for you to show your heart, to show your beauty, to show your vulnerability, your softness, your gentleness. Know that you are so lovable. And by being lovable, you naturally attract people who are just here to love you, you and celebrate you and see you. It's like a puppy. It doesn't have to do anything to be lovable. It just is lovable. So everyone will love it. And that's you. You don't have to perform, wear a mask, do anything. No one actually really cares about your bio. They just care about how you make them feel. And you really make people feel amazing. Amazing when you are yourself. So giving people a chance to really see you, giving yourself a chance to really see you. Ah. Bringing that energy up to our throat, really massaging our throat right now and just energetically removing any vows that we have ever said that it's not safe for me to speak My truth is not safe for me to be heard. Let's literally remove them from our throat right now. Transmuting them, throwing them out into space where they will be recycled and healed. Letting go of maybe any time that you were a child and you saw your parents fighting and you created a story that it's not safe for me to speak. I'll get hurt. When I speak my truth, people shut down. They don't want to be around me when I share my authentic voice. People laugh at me. They make fun of me. I'm not a good speaker. I stumble. I lose people when I speak. No one wants to hear what I have to say. Let's. Let's just let go of all those stories. They were never yours. You don't have to hold on to the. They're not yours. Just letting them go and feeling the spaciousness now that you've created in this throat, the center of air energy. And just letting the ideas that are meant to come through you permeate through that throat center. Knowing that your only job is just to hear, be a channel. You don't have to have the perfect words to say the perfect things. It's just being an open space to let the ideas come through. And your authentic voice is so ready to be heard, is so valued. And you carry wisdom that will truly change people's lives. And it's your responsibility to share it. Because when you don't, the world suffers and it doesn't get the medicine that only you can share. So we need you. We need you to get out of your own way. We need your voice. It's an important part of raising the vibration of the planet at this time. You chose to be born at this time for this reason. We need your voice. Please remember your voice. It's the only way we can activate others. It's if you share it. We don't know. The wisdom that's in your mind you must share is safe for you to share your voice. Now, letting that energy circle and bubble up into your third eye, the space between your eyebrows, brows, and releasing any thoughts, any doubts, any hesitation, any voice in your head. Is she speaking to me right now or not? Am I feeling something? It's weird. That's all divine. This has all been orchestrated far before we decided to be here. We're all here, just walking each other home. So releasing any thoughts, any ideas of how it's supposed to be, when it's supposed to be, and trusting the divine timing of it all, trusting that you are ready for this moment and you wouldn't be here right now listening to this if you were not. You would have chosen to listen to something else. So if you are listening to this, you are ready. And your role is the process from which you release these limiting beliefs. How you let go of these limiting beliefs, that process of how you do it is what you are here to share. It's not because of them. It's the very process that allows you to step beyond it. That's what makes you you. And allowing spaciousness now in that third eye as we exhale the thoughts and we allow a cloud to come in between our ears, this beautiful cloud of openness, of softness, of receptivity, Placing your hands up, palms up, towards the sky, and saying, I receive. I receive. And now connecting to your crown, the top of your head. Imagining a lotus above your head that is receiving all of the downloads and messages and creativity that you are here to be a channel of. And letting this wisdom drop through you like a waterfall, a constant source of creativity, of inspiration, of ideation that you are always connected to. And envisioning this waterfall pouring now through your crown, the top of your head, into your third eye, down your throat, into your heart, into your belly, down into your womb, bringing that circle back in, coming back into your body, and letting it trip down through your legs and into the earth beneath you, where it's grounded into something that can be seen, felt, and experienced by others. You are that bridge. You are that space in between the idea and the embodiment of it. That vessel is your you. The idea chose you. You are the perfect channel for it. And it's only coming through you because you are ready for is asking you to continue to give it space. Away from your phone, away from your thoughts, away from your doing, and just allowing space to receive because it has so much it wants to share with you. You. And you keep distracting yourself because you're afraid of the bigness of it and you're afraid of how big this Dharma is. But it wants you to know that when you follow it, everything will fall into place. And everything you've ever wanted is through saying yes to this mission. So please don't go looking for those hits of validation now. Now just say yes to your Dharma, and you will receive something that is so much more deeply nourishing. And everything else in your life, the love, the friendships, the home, the money, the success, all of it can only come into its highest resonance through you living your Dharma. When you commit to your Dharma, everything else falls into place. Place in its highest integrity. And now that the channel is open, I really invite you, after this podcast to come back to this practice. You can even relisten to this again and letting the wisdom come through you. Because I can feel the energy of the people who are listening to this podcast right now. They are are people with very, very big missions. And the dharma has been like, knocking and knocking and like, the moment that they're like, washing the dishes or like on a walk, it's like, please notice me. Like, like, this is what you're here to do. And then they keep distracting themselves. So it's like asking, like, please just pay attention. If you just listen to me, I will guide you step by step. And don't worry about having the whole plan. I will guide you when it's ready for the next step. Just trust what's happening and also pay attention to your dreams, because a lot of the signs and the fears and the patterns you are going to see in the dreams as well. So let's just take a deep breath in and allowing this energetic transmission to really land, drop, and incubate into the being, embodying it into every cell, allowing us to completely upgrade into this new transmission, this new frequency, this dharmic way of moving through the world and knowing that this is just the beginning of this new attunement that you have stepped into. You ready? Just wiggle your fingers and your toes, roll your shoulders and gently come back into the space and open your eyes. So I feel like during the holidays, it's actually the best time to focus on the thing that you've been putting off. So for lots of you guys, it's speaking, whether it's one day, creating your own podcast like this, please have me on. Or speaking on stages, writing books, creating social media content, creating a personal brand around your wisdom. But for a lot of us, the speaking part is a little bit scary. Scary. We stutter. We feel like we're not good at telling stories. We lose people. We just don't have that confidence to show up on camera the way that we want to. But you know that you have an important message to share. So if this is you, I'm really excited that my course, Speak with Soul is available for 25 off this week only. So this is my flagship course that has taken thousands of people from awkward to confident speaker in just 21 days. I mean, if you check out the. The testimonials people are like, getting on the news. They're launching podcasts, they're getting keynote engagements. It is insane to see the transformations that are happening. People who've never spoken before and also people who are like on their A game, who just take it up a notch. Speaking is my forte. I love doing it. I've been doing this podcast for over seven years and I've learned a thing or two about telling a story. The tone, texture, quality of your voice and getting your message across in a way that anchors into people's heart. Hearts. Because we don't need any more of this like super cerebral TED talk of like, hey, I have a vision and listen to me point A to B. But like instead to actually feel like you're having a conversation with someone in a way that's also educational and resonates. So if you're interested, you're curious, take advantage of 25% off at speak with soul course.com with coupon code SWS25. That's speakwithsoulcourse.com with coupon code SWS250. You can find all of that in the show notes. Thank you.

Thank you so much. I've got to say, that felt like it was channeled, like a channeled message. And I really hope that for anyone that this spoke to do go back and listen to that because that is. Is there was something else channeling through you just there. And one of the things that we spoke a lot about this weekend was channeling and do you have an inclination of who that may have been that was channeling through? Does it feel like your higher self? Does it feel like isis? Does it feel like if you could attune that.

It's definitely my highest self. I have been a priestess, an away shower in all of my lifetimes. Many of them I remember. And I'm also a human. And many of the things that I learn in my life, I know are not just for me, you know, it's the way that I know exactly how the attunement of how the people feel is, because it's how I have felt in the journey. How the anxieties I continue to wake up with, you know, of not trusting it or distracting ourselves. It's so easy to just go from one thing to the next. And it's like. Like right now I could just. I could. I was just tuning into the energy of. Of Dharma, you know, and how there are these projects and movements and missions and businesses and books and plays and schools and libraries and shops, and they're showing me a lot of things that are waiting to come through, but they're not here. And our world doesn't look like the way that it's supposed to look because the people are not listening to their inner voices. And our world would actually be on a different timeline right now if everyone stopped distracting themselves. But it's part of this agenda to hold the world back, to keep people in these distracted loops and patterns, thinking that if they just keep checking their phone, their stories, their emails, their tiktoks, their something that's actually, actually part of the detraction path. And it gives our ego this sense that we're doing something, but we're actually really not. And the very thing that we want, which is to feel seen, heard and understood, can only come from letting go of the addiction, from these lower octave ways of feeling that which are. They're especially showing me it's social media. You. So when we all can take time away, and I think this is a message for myself as well, when we can take that time away, we're going to have these things in humanity that make our lives so much more enriching. Like, they're showing me these, like, restaurants with, like roses all over and these schools where, like, children are playing outside and there aren't classrooms. And they're showing me, like, food, like new ways of creating food with the earth and communities and like all these things are actually ready to be here. It's just it requires the human that it has been soul assigned to to say yes to it. And the humans are distracting themselves so we can live in utopia. It's just we have to create it and we have chosen to be in this time. That's the first and only time that we remember what a life looks like without this level of telepathy that we have, that the podcast is actually telepathy because I am sharing my thoughts that in another space and time someone else is receiving and having the frequency of this could have never happened before. They would have never let someone like me be on the radio before for. So it's not that the social media is bad. It can help us. It's just the ways that our ego selves are using it to really mask the sense of unimportance that we collectively feel. There's a huge sense that I'm not important. But when we realize the importance comes from us living our dharma, not from getting hits of attention from other people, then that feeling is permanently gone. So that was another channel message.

I could tell. I'm like, I've got full goosebumps. I was like, there is something in the room. Incredible.

And we're all channels all the time. You know, it's just taking Taking the space for it, you know, And I believe that we are all constantly communicating to our highest selves and our future selves. You know this during the Visionary Mastery weekend, we were having a conversation about like, maybe your highest self is just you in the future. Like think about the times that you've gone back and thought about your inner 7 year old or your inner teenager, your inner 20 year old, and you're like giving them a hug and you're like meditating and you're healing them and you're telling them the things that you wish they knew in that moment, you know, when you got a glimpse of guidance, that was your future self talking to you. So really our highest self is, is us in our future self, highest timeline, that's giving us inspiration and wisdom and giving us those little whispers because it can't be so obvious. We're here on this physical planet so trusting that our future selves are always looking out for us and to just notice the clues and notice the signs and not to get, you know, seduced by this really like, like ego and lonely society that we are a part of that makes us in this never ending hole of looking outside of ourselves for, oh, this person made money this way, let me do it that way. Oh, this person this. And it's like you will lose your heart and your heart is your dharma, because that is the thing that can never be replicated. So yeah, it's like really asking us to take time to connect to our heart, to purify and to let our own unique codes come through. Because we're all really here for the larger, same collective mission of raising the vibration of the planet. But everyone has been so assigned a unique frequency and transmission and area and demographic. And that's the very problem that you have overcome. That's yours. So lean into that.

Yeah. And you talk about being able to detach from things like social media, which is, you know, know, essentially we are addicted to this. And I was listening to this podcast the other day and obviously I'm going to bring this back to ets, but they were like, we're kind of like in, we're. They've kind of set us up perfectly in order to kind of take over like our race. Like we, we've all congregated to cities and then we're all addicted to phones and it's like if you took, took away if like the grid went down or something, you know, we're so dependent on like the Internet and our phones and everything. And so in a society where we aren't are so dependent on our phones in careers where we have literally built our businesses off our phone. Like I have built my business and as you have, like a big part of what we've been speaking about this weekend has been content creation videos. Like we're literally making a video now that's going to be on social media. Like how do we create those boundaries and how do we know what is a healthy amount and how do we know what is actually starting to become destructive?

Yeah, let me tune in and ask my highest self what it has to say. So it's like coming from this energy, it's showing me that with every click there's an octave, like on a piano, there's the lowest octave to the highest octave and you can do the same thing, but it's from what octave are you doing it? Are you posting from the octave of. I want people to notice me, I want them to think I'm important. If I don't post, they'll forget about me and I won't matter, so I have to keep posting, otherwise I don't exist. That's a lot of why we're posting. And when it's coming from that of I will be forgotten. If I don't share myself on social media, then I don't even exist as a human and it's even showing me ways that I do that. You know, it's important for us to then take time and space away to remember who we are outside of what we share and we can only actually share the content that we're here to share when it's not so tied into our self worth, when we know that even if the phone lines went off and there was never a social media again, that we are still inherently worthy and that we can still reach people and we don't actually need social media. For thousands of years, years, priestesses and rishis and you know, monks did not have social media and they were still sharing messages with the people around them. So also, how are you living this in your community? How are you embodying this with every person that you meet? Imagine if every single person was your follower, which they really don't like this word, Would they get the same, same vibration that you are showing on social media? Would your Uber driver feel that from you? Would your barista feel that from you? These are all your opportunities to be that person. But we only want it when we are getting this mass external validation from a bunch of strangers that we don't see and we're actually very detracted from the energy of it, because we don't see their faces and we don't see how it impacts them. And a lot of what we're doing, we think is helping people, but it's actually just making people. People feel worse. So that is the octave where a lot of social media is coming from. However, through taking time away from social media, periodically doing a social media detox, maybe that is every weekend you delete it from your phone. Maybe that is taking a month off or whatever the level of addiction is for you. You can come at it from this higher octave of using social media as, as a way to bring in an authentic frequency that is just not there, to bring in vulnerability, heart, texture, story, humanity. We need humans back on social media. We have become AI yeah, we are all acting like, like a. A store, like a brand. And we're just like, here's Abercrombie and Fitch. This is what you can buy here. And that's not who we are. So if we can just crack our hearts open and let the parts of us that we're afraid will make us unlovable, not respected, not taken seriously, if we can bring that to social media. So when people watch our social media, they feel inspired to be more of their authentic selves. Not this lack, not this. I don't have it figured out, but this. Like, she's giving me permission to be more of me in my real life. That is how social media can really help people. And it is here to share messages in a way that we couldn't have before, because there's no gatekeeper that there used to be, which was the mainstream media that chose who's going to be on Oprah, who's going to be on. On the news. And so these messages could not get out there. So now we have the ability for everyone to be their own speaker, their own Oprah. And this is a really important gift. But we're still taking this new paradigm way of acting like we're on Oprah. You can be your own Oprah. Doesn't mean you have to act like you were on Oprah. It means you have the mic. You. You are the producer, you are the director, you are the actor. We're not taking this, like, as the opportunity as it really can be. Like, we can create anything we want and we all keep doing the same thing. It's like you have so much freedom and we keep just defining ourselves. It's like comical. You know, we realize this. It's like this is like you rented the studio. Like, we can do whatever we Want, you know, it's like, I mean, here I am channeling, so we are, you know, but it's like we, we just like forget. Like you can do whatever you want. You're not. There's no manager who's going to kick you off. There's no person who's gonna pay you or cut the show. Like, if we actually ran with that, like imagine what social media could look like. Yeah.

Wow, I love that. I mean, that is kind of the definition of feminine authority. You know, it's the true authenticity. So I wonder whether we could actually take the moment now maybe just to in the essence of this, to really show that it's okay to be human, it's okay to be like anti person perfect. It's okay to be yourself and do what you want. Could you share and then I may share one as well. What is something that you are either currently struggling with or is an area that you maybe still are working on at the moment?

Oh, girl, where do we get started?

Everyone get a coffee. We are going to be settling in.

You know, I got into the relationship that I was in when I was 24 years old and I was in that relationship until the end of being 31, so seven and a half years. So I was always like, oh, like I always thought you learn your lessons either through your career or through your love life. And I was like, obviously mine is through my career. That's like all my stuff. Love. It was just always. It wasn't like the most amazing relationship. It was like a fine relationship. Like, it was good, I had, we got along, it was great. And then something very unforgivable happened that I had to leave the marriage. And it was something that I really did not expect and felt like my biggest nightmare. And I was so confused and so hurt. And so I think the biggest travesty was like the lack of self trust that it created in me of like, how did I not see this? I consider myself to be an intuitive person. How did I not see this? And that to me is the biggest tragedy. When you stop trusting your intuition and you start gaslighting yourself and you start questioning yourself of like, what else do I not know? When my wheels were spinning and I could not work for two full months at all. Did not work whatsoever, thank God. I built a business where I didn't need to and you know, the people in my community understood and it's almost like my consciousness knew it was gonna happen. I like had already done all my podcasts and stuff for that time period and I Just really went inwards those two months. And I mean, it's been almost a year now. And it's been the darkest night of my soul. And also on the other side, which I would say, like, really took six months to get out of full time healing. And I'm just at the beginning of what the brightness of this light looks like. And so for me, it's brought up, you know, I knew when this happened, I'm like, this could either like, break me and make me never trust again, like, you know, close my heart forever, or I'm going to make this the thing that opens my heart and makes me believe in love and makes me trust. Like, because of this, I'm actually going to have the love that, that I've always wanted, that I've always known as possible because of this. I don't know how, and I still don't know how, but I'm just like, with my book, like, watch the space. One day I'll come. And I'm like, because I would have never left that relationship because there's nothing wrong with it, you know, But God was just like, there's something so much greater for you, but you need to look at your own threads of how you've tied your sense of worth towards being in a relationship, towards a man's approval. The way that I had normalized the distance in my marriage because of the distance in my parents marriage. You know, I was so used to guy goes to work, does his thing, woman does her thing. They'll watch a movie and then go their separate ways, really. You know, live as roommates. I think a lot of us have seen this, and had I not hit that karma moment of something that was so big and traumatic, I would have stayed in that karmic path forever. Right? So like, and I share this with you because it's not just a story of me 10 years ago, this is a story of me in December 2022, not that long ago. And it was just there's. As you live your dharma, it's like you reach these higher octaves so the things that are not in alignment, they get louder and louder and louder. That it's like, had I not been in this frequency that I'm in, maybe I could have stayed in that marriage forever. Or I try to make it work or something, and I'm just like, no. Full integrity or bust. Like, full liberation or bust. Like, I am not living a half truth in any form of my life. So it has brought up for me a lot of inner child healing, a lot of ancestral healing. I've learned so much about my lineage and things that no one in my family had spoken about before. And it's made me a devotee of love, which I never was before. I was always like, yeah, love looks cool. Like, I would never really. When people were like, it's a love, baby. I was just like kind of eye rolling. And now I'm like, oh, shit. Like, it is all love. And I never understood the word surrender before. And now my song coming out. Trust, flow, surrender, let go. I live that surrender lifestyle. Even like after November 20th, I have no idea where I'm going. And before that would scare the shit out of me. And now I'm just like, yeah, we'll see. Maybe I'll end up here, maybe I'll end up there. Just like, you know, I've embodied this God is my dom philosophy where God is my cosmic dom, my sky daddy who's given me what I need, not always what I want, but it's always in my highest good. But it was super hard because after the divorce, that brings up a lot of questions. Where am I gonna live? What am I gonna do? Going through a legal thing, it's so much, you know, and then I've just softened and softened into it that now I'm like, I'm funnier, I'm sexier, I'm more playful. I ended up making more money this year than I ever have before, which I like, like literally from me. But it wasn't for me doing more. It was just like this new energy that I'm in. It's like people can. Yeah. And like, and people can. Can feel like just the mag. Magnetism of me living in my full truth that like these walls that I had before that were like unconscious just came crumbling down that now, like, look, I just came out of a three day visionary mastermind with you guys. Most people would be like, oh my God, I'm so tired. I'm like, let's keep going. Like, what else? Because I wasn't being anyone but myself the whole time. Like, there was no difference in my energy, that I'm just being me always. And. And from that place, you're so much more creative, you're so much more magnetic, you're so much more alive. And then, you know, something that I've always wanted to do was like, be an artist. But I felt like, oh, I'm a coach, I'm an entrepreneur, I need to like, you know, show up in this professional way. And that came crumbling down too. I'm produced five Songs. I have a spoken word poetry ep, like, everything I wanted was on the other side of my biggest nightmare. And it's just gonna start a baby. So if you're in it right now, trust it's just the shitty part of your memoir are. And you're gonna one day be writing about this and you're gonna be thanking goddess that it took away something that you wouldn't have taken away from yourself.

You heard it here first. And make sure that when that happens, you message us and you say it was that podcast episode that changed everything. Because, honestly, it's so true. I can think of so many, like, you know, moments where that exact thing has happened myself. Thank you so much for sharing that as well. I know that it's. Anything around breakups, our hearts being hurt is incredibly painful, and it really does knock us. I had a very painful breakup seven or eight years ago, and it took a long time to overcome. So I really appreciate the courage and the bravery that it takes for you to continue to show up and to continue to give us your magic because. Because it really has, like, this weekend has been magical and you have been so authentically you and so in your power, and it has really been, like, such an honor to be able to witness you. And I didn't know you before when you were married, but you do feel just very you and it's just like a real pleasure to experience that. So thank you so much for sharing that. I may just share something for myself as well, just so that. That, you know, people understand that this isn't. We all go through stuff, and I think when we even at the first part of the Mastermind, where we all shared, like, you know, little snippets, it was an incredibly emotional weekend, actually. Like, we were crying, like, a lot. Like, it was an intense, like, energy frequency to be in. But you really realize that everyone goes through something, you know. And so for myself, like, this is actually not something that I've really publicly shared, but I feel like, like, potentially now is like, you know, the aligned time to share it. But I was. I was. And this is a trigger warning, I will say, but I was sexually assaulted when I was 17 and then 24, and suppressed all of it until about four years ago when then something retriggered me and I was having PTSD episodes was basically like. Like having to heal and heal all of the anger that had come up because I was an angry person for a while. You know, a lot of repressed anger, a lot of repressed emotion, a lot of self Hatred. And a lot of it came from the fact I had just never processed this stuff. I blamed myself and you know, I was starting this business around that time and so it was like I was equal parts arts, doing all the things, balancing two jobs whilst also going really deep with a womb healer, having to have difficult conversations with my partner, having to have difficult conversations with my family who didn't know any of this stuff. And I was working with a womb healer for about a year and a half and it's I now feeling really, really good. I've processed a lot of that emotion. But you know, for me womb healing is still like a really big part of what I do because it is an area that I have been so detached from because of that trauma. And it's something that does still come up for me like every so often. Sometimes I'll get re triggered by something and it's like another layer that I have to heal. And it does affect your confidence. There's a lot of self blame that goes on with that kind of stuff. And it makes you feel like sometimes that you're not good enough. Sometimes the old inner critic voices will come back to back up. If I'm tired, if I'm feeling low, if I'm in a group, sometimes certain things will come up and it's always the invitation that feminine authority way of doing things instead of just letting it fester, being like, oh, that's so interesting. What is that trying to teach me? What is that trying to show me? And I think that's sort of the biggest thing that I continually heal through even to this day. And it's not like I'm not constantly in a state of healing, but it's one of those things that does. Has defined my path really massively but does still turn up in some of the things that I do. So yeah, that's going to be my personal share. Thank you for holding space.

Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing that. Because I do believe that sexual trauma is the biggest wound in the collective at this time.

Yeah, I would agree. I would agree. And I think it has kind of since I've been speaking about it more publicly with friends and in communities, I've realized just how many people have exactly the same story. And there was times where I felt so much shame around this. Like I spoke to no one. I thought I was the problem. I was like, I'm the issue. Like this is all me. And then you realize, oh no, it wasn't me. And this actually everyone else like has kind of had a Similar experience. Like, well, not everyone else, but, you know, there's a really big collective part that does. And it's incredibly healing to actually have these conversations and realize, oh, wow, not alone. But these kinds of things, if they go unhealed, if you just repress. Comes up, does it does not go. Because it's in the body. You know, we spoke about that body relationship earlier, and it's like that kind of emotion, it just sits in the body. And that's why I was so interested around how to re. Bring that online from your perspective, because that's where the numbness came from. Me, it's like, I did have that PTSD response of, like, complete numbness. Like, my body was just, like, not online. And, yeah, I think it's incredibly healing for us as women to be able to talk about these things, like, in circles.

Yeah, it is so healing to just feel heard and to feel validated and to know that you're not alone. Yeah. And to also know that you didn't do anything wrong and that you never manifested this or deserved this or any of that. You know, we do live still in a very painful patriarchal world where there is deep oppression of the feminine and suppression of the womb, and it has been abused and abandoned and used for thousands of years. And that's not made up and it's not in our heads. And there are still so many ways that this patriarchy operates within us as women within men, within our collective. And it's important that we don't gaslight ourselves from it, because it's so easy to, especially a spiritual woman, just be like, it's okay. Well, like, I create my own reality and, like, let me, like, move on and, like, like, you know, I don't want to give it attention. I don't want to bring down my vibe. And it's like, that has been my biggest lesson of this divorce, of just, like, go into the fucking pain and, like, feel it. Like, you know, when it happened, I just knew. I'm like, I have died, and I don't know who I will be when I'm reborn, if I'll be reborn. I was like. I told my friend, I was like, I'm probably never going to dance again. I'm never going to be into bright colors again. That old version of me is done. Like, I even told her, I was like, we were shifting the brand colors, and I said it was like, dark maroon. These are the new colors, and that is not you. And all I did was write poems about death, But I needed to be There because that was an energy that I had bypassed in my life, you know? And it's so easy for us to be, like, like, Diane, get to the other side. Yeah, be the butterfly.

Yeah.

Like, be the shining star. And, like. And there were times that I'm just like, okay, I want to, like, learn the lesson now. And it's just like, no, be in the death. Because there's another layer and another layer and another layer that I needed to mourn my role as a wife, as a trophy wife, as a this, as a that. Like, these identities I've created. Like, and I just need to be in that. That death until it was burned away to ashes and left in the Nile without any holding on to who this new version of me would come back. And it took many, many months. It really took months. I would say the biggest initiations happened to me at three, six, and nine months. 369, which is the code of life. Wow. So after three months, I could say I was, you know, I could breathe fully again. I couldn't eat food freely for the first, like, two months. I lost so much weight. And your body is just in a state of shock, you know? And after three months, I could start to, like, think about other things, you know? And that was like, wow. I could, I remember, have a life outside of this, you know? And then at six months, finally, I was like, okay, I don't need to make my whole life around healing anymore. Like, I can live a little bit. Because I was from medicine work to womb healing to ancestral healing to somatic healing. I mean, I really, really went in and at six months is actually when I created my embodiment certification with, like, everything that I've learned of all the different tools. And another practice people can have if they feel disconnected to their body is my free embodiment practice, which is just on my website, my Instagram bio of, like, a daily practice you can do to tune in. That's what literally. Because now I see when situations happen to the like this, like, some of the women in the Mastermind are like, it could really take you on a dark path path. And I would say the reason it didn't for me, and it made me actually even more in my light, is because I chose consciously to go into the shadow and to feel it and to transmute it and to not bypass it. That then on the other side, you know, six months later, I was like, I don't even want to live in America anymore. And I, like, left for Portugal. And then my life just took a totally other path. And I've been living in Europe since then and it's just, you know, all this creativity coming through and, and this new expression of who I am. And I do think it is important to sometimes, like, I know you moved from the UK to Australia, like literally removing yourself from the environment where that old trigger is. And then at nine months, it was really the forgiveness of like, I can. Because people say, oh, you gotta forgive that person. But like, I was like, yo, you little stupid ass bitch, I ain't fucking with you. Like, that's what I thought. Every time I thought about, I was like, I forgive you and motherfucker, yeah.

And you're still an asshole.

But I did not speak to him for nine months. And finally once I moved to London, I was like, I can actually forgive him because I love where my life is now and I wouldn't be here without this. And that doesn't mean I'm going to have you in my life, you know, or get back for show. But it's like I can actually see now, now how this thing was the best thing that's ever happened to me. And it set me up on an entirely new life trajectory. And I think when you can actually find the gratitude in it, that's the only way that you can forgive. It doesn't. Forgiveness doesn't ever mean what they did was right or justified at all. I do believe there are morals and there are human rights and there are contracts and, you know, and some people do really unforgivable things, but you letting go of it is for you, you, you know, and sometimes it needed to be that painful for you to make the change. Yeah.

Reminds me of this story that I was told about an aboriginal culture, I think in maybe North America. And it was this shamanic teacher that I have in Australia. He went out there and they went on this big hike to basically get water or something. And he was properly living in the village. And at the time the weather just completely changed basically and they couldn't get back to camp or whatever. And in the moment, the son that was traveling with them basically didn't make it. And so the mother and my shamanic teacher, they were sort of coming back, back like the next day and obviously devastated, like, like there's nothing that could have done, they could have done to have like changed this. And my shamanic teacher was like crying more and the mother was sort of like comforting him and was being like, it's okay, like we need to be able to release. I will be okay. I'm devastated I'm devastated, But I will be able to forgive. I will be able to move on. I will be able to do this. And it was such a lesson for me, him, because he was like. It really showed me, like, oh, this is what releases. Like, it's not to bypass grief, because she's still grieving, but it's also to know, okay, we don't become hooked on it. And it was, like, a huge lesson that he had that he learned from that moment. And it always stuck with me because I was just like, wow, that. That takes huge strength to even be able to have that conversation, you know, and to be able to have that wisdom, that knowledge of, like, you know, it's. We don't hold on to these things. We grieve, we hurt, and then we release for us. So whether that's for a divorce, whether that's for someone that has wronged you, which never makes it okay, but there is still something for you, which is, like, we get to move on to. Because this is the order of the earth, which I thought was so beautiful. It's a really, really beautiful story. Painful story, but really incredibly beautiful. So, yeah, thank you so much for sharing all of that. Yeah. So I hope that you guys have enjoyed journeying with us today. And I think I'm gonna bring this podcast to a close now because I feel like we've really completed this. This has been, honestly, probably my favorite podcast episode that I have ever recorded. I've just. I feel like we've channeled. I feel like we've held space, you know, And I hope that you really got to know, like, the real Sahara here, because the Sahara that you see online, she is very similar to who.

She is, to be fair.

But she's got a huge following. She's got books. She is an authority. You have a lot of outer authority. And just remember that everyone has their own stuff as well. We're all human beings. And I think this is what feminine authority is all about. It's about honoring your human being, who you are, and not thinking that the things that you've been through detract from that. Don't try to be the perfect version of yourself, like, be yourself. And I think this episode is like a massive permission slip for other people just to fucking own, you know, what they've been through. You know, you talk about speaking and speaking. You know, you have a program called Speak with Soul. I'll link all of Sahara's things into the description below, including that free embodiment practice that you mentioned. But, yeah, it's just been like an absolutely epic experience to get to speak to you on all of this. And if you were to leave our audience with, with one main takeaway, with one piece of advice or lesson, what would it be?

My biggest lesson that I'm really sitting with right now is like, those moments that you feel a little bit like, anxious, overwhelmed, and something feels off and you're like reaching for the phone, the chocolate, the something is just to lie down on your floor or on your bed and take a moment, moment and breathe. And just ask yourself, what is this teaching me right now? What is this teaching me? And just breathe and, like, letting it unravel. And maybe there's no thoughts. Maybe you just need to shake your body out and move and make sound. Or maybe it's this, like, little whisper inside of you. And I have just noticed myself in doing this. It's like I get these lessons that I would have had to go down a whole journey to learn, but just taking that moment right there to just tune in and let the guidance speak to me. Because this life is a hologram. It's showing us all of the areas that we are out of alignment, that we need healing, that there's more to step into. So when we get really curious, what is the situation that I'm in right now and what is this teaching me, Then we start to quantum leap and quantum leap. And then that big picture life that we want, it gets closer and closer and closer to us. Yeah.

Wow, Beautiful. Thank you so much. Where can everyone find you? What are your Instagrams? Do you have YouTube? Give us all the info.

Yeah, so my Instagram is I am Saharrose and so I post there all the time. And my podcast is high self podcast, where I have deep dive conversations like this. I definitely want to air this one on my podcast because it's amazing because, you know, sometimes when you're doing a solo cast, you don't go into these little areas. And I feel safe here with you. And I feel, feel that's the beauty of podcasts. That's different than social media. Because with social media, you're kind of like sharing to a bunch of people that have no context, you know, and it doesn't feel safe to really share and open your heart because it's seen by a bunch of strangers who, they don't see you as a human. They see you as a 2D thing, you know, and that's what I love about podcasts. And I do believe podcasts are a huge part of this evolution because it's like you hear someone's story when you're, like, dropped into their frequency a little bit more. And there's a bit of that connection and that safety. And I think also with the comments, you feel very judged and like, like, you're like, being like, ranked almost. Whereas I know with a podcast, I think the fact that you're not getting that, like, feedback, you just feel a lot more safe to drop in. So. Yeah. And I'm also noticing within myself as, as I move away from this divorce, my own safety of sharing about it. So that was healing for me to be on this end. So. Yep. You can find, I'm sorry, Rose and my school, Dharma Coaching Institute.

Yeah. Amazing. And is there any programs or anything that you think would be relevant for any of the stuff that we have spoken about today?

I do feel Speak with Soul because I was really feeling the energy of this collective, of having important missions and messages to share. So that's speakwithsoulcourse.com. yeah.

And I can absolutely get them a.

Discount link for your peeps.

Yeah, let's do a little affiliate.

Yes.

But I can absolutely, like, account for its brilliant Speak with Soul. I have just literally been in the energy of essentially this program over the weekend and dipped my toe in before I came, and it really is incredible. So highly, highly recommend that if you have a desire to public speak, to Speak with Soul and you want to, like, find your voice and find the confidence to do it, I think it's an incredible program. So. So we'll link all of that below. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you so much for inviting me to Miami and for being with my first in person podcast, the first of many. And yeah, I'm so grateful for this whole weekend. You are an angel. And thank you so much, babe.

Well, thank you for literally flying from Australia to be here and making it happen. And you were just like, you just knew. You're like, I'm meant to be here. And. And you really went against a lot of obstacles, you know, and your own things, and it showed you and gave you more strength in your inner authority of, like, when I feel the call, I'm gonna make it happen, even if it makes no logical sense to anyone around me. And now it's like this new initiation of who you are and how you show up in the world. So I'm so grateful that you're the embodiment of this as well and for all that you create. Yes.

Thank you so much. All right, guys, if you enjoyed this episode, please make sure to leave a rating and a review and if you do leave a review just quickly take a picture of that and email me and we will send you over a free training that I have on how to become a feminine authority. So if you want to become a feminine authority and you want to move away from whether it's toxic author authority, borrowed authority or low authority or you don't even know which category you fall into right now and you want to create leadership in a more heart centric and authentic way really like we've been talking about today, today, this training really shows you how. So all you need to do is send us an email@helloayloyd.com with a screenshot of the review and we will send you over that gift. Thank you guys so much for joining us today and I'll see you guys in the next episode. Bye guys.

Trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom, trust your inner guidance. Close your eyes and listen. So trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom and the guidance.