537: Manifesting Your Sacred Union Partner + Redefining Marriage with Michael Beckwith

So I saw this video that you once made. This is probably many years ago, that in some Native American cultures, marriage is a seven year contract. Can you share it? Because that really resonates.

Yeah, yeah. Well, basically every seven years, the couple would come together and sometimes even within the community and share their last seven years together and then decide whether this iteration of themselves wanted to sign up again for another seven.

Let go. Trust flow sooner. Let go. I'm the one I've been waiting for. Welcome back to the Highest Self podcast. My name is Sahara Rose, and on this podcast I love to take spiritual concepts and make them really grounded and relatable so they can serve your needs. And especially the past year and a half now, it's been matters of the heart, which I really believe are the basis of the spiritual journey. You know, sometimes when we begin spirituality, it's about, let me learn this. Oh, crystals and aliens and astral projection and all of the things. And then we're like, heartbreak, grief, suffering, shadows. No, this supposed to be fun. But I'll tell you, a spiritual awakening is very different than a spiritual initiation. And many of us have been going through some initiations these days. So there's no better person to speak to than someone who I'm sure you've seen in the Secret, I'm sure you've seen on Agape tv. I'm sure you've seen him out in the world on many different podcasts. He's someone that's deeply inspired me, Reverend Michael Beckwith. So we're gonna see where this conversation goes. I have some personal questions and we're gonna let spirit guide the way. And before we get into this conversation, I would love if you would hit subscribe on this podcast. This is the best way for you to stay tuned on future episodes, and it helps raise the vibration of the planet. So wherever you're listening to this podcast, hit subscribe and we'll keep the good juju flowing. So without further ado, let's welcome Reverend Michael to the Highest Health podcast.

Welcome, Sarah. Thank you so much for the invitation.

The first question I would love to ask you is.

Welcome.

What makes you your highest self?

Me personally?

Yes.

I think authenticity makes you your higher self. I think there's obviously who we really are has nothing to do with history, has nothing to do with the external world, has nothing to do with who we were born to or where we were born. We've all emerged from the eternal as unique expressions of the infinite. And so we're imprinted by the world, and those imprints Determine our perception. And then we kind of live a life of dreaming. We're awake. We're not really awake. We're walking asleep, dreaming we're awake. But as you indicated, you know, when there's an awakening, when there's an initiation which may not feel good, we begin to wipe away the parts of us that we thought were us. Things that we develop in order to survive this world. And then we begin to be more authentic. We begin to be more who we are. Not based on who we should be based on circumstances where we were born, schools we went to, but based on what we're meant to be, which comes from our soul. So that's the big journey from the head to the heart, which is often filled with landmines of limited perception. But ultimately it's the only place where there's real joy and happiness when we are ourselves, a real self. Yeah.

So I want to start with the self love journey. Obviously, it's a huge buzzword. And I think what, what we often struggle with is, you know, when you leave a relationship for whatever reason, they say it's love yourself, love yourself. But it's like, how, what does that look like? And how do we know we've sufficiently loved ourselves enough to be in relationship again?

You know, this is a really beautiful question.

Yeah.

Because first of all, self love, I believe, is the beginning of the path. Because without some degree of self love, not egocentric self love, but a real embracing of what we're meant to be. If we don't have that, then we create obstacles and hindrances. We just project our lack of self love onto the world. We bump into it and we blame it on others. So the universal presence which is total love, matches our self love. And then there we have our particular life experience. So without self love and appreciation, we just bump into the inner doubts, worries, fears projected onto the world and experience that. Now, there was another part of your question.

How do we know we've loved ourselves enough to be in relationship again?

Oh, okay. Well, we're always in relationship, period, Whether we're loving ourselves or not. I say relation is a ship to transformation. That's relationship. We're actually. It's something that's used for transformation. So it gives us a real meaningful mirror as to what we need to work on. So you talked about breakups and how to move through that into self love. Well, I basically teach. There's three things we have to do. So let's say relationship is over. It could be intimate, it could be a marriage, be business, whatever. First of all, we can't go into wishful thinking. We have to accept what is this relationship is over or the structure of it is over. Maybe it's gone from intimacy to friendship, maybe nothing at all. But we have to come into full acceptance without thinking, oh, I wish I would have could. I wish I would have done this better. I wish I would have done, I wish they would have done something better. It's over. Then from there, we harvest the good. What lesson? What good did I get out of this relationship? Did I grow in self esteem? Did I see my own blocks and hindrances? Did I see where I needed to speak up more? Did I see where I needed to shut up? You know, we ask, I call it harvesting the good. And then as we do that, honestly not projecting onto the other person, but what was and is my growing edge. And then the third step is we forgive all the rest. We forgive everything. Self forgiveness. Well, first of all, all forgiveness is self forgiveness. But we forgive them. We forgive us. So then if there's no real meaning forgiveness, then we carry that energy into the next relationship and we just projected onto the next thing. We have the same experience over and over and over again. So we accept, we harvest and we forgive. Now those are not. You don't do this in one day. You know, all of that's practice. All of that is sincere, honest, gut wrenching, get down practice, you know, and then there's a breakthrough and you say, wow, I'm actually different. I'm a different person than I was when I was in that relationship. I'm not the same person anymore. And then now there's a freshness in the vibration you're carrying is going to send a signal that the people that come into your life now are going to vibrate at that signal, not the signal of your past experience. Yeah.

So I want to dive a little bit into forgiveness. I think a lot of us, we can't honestly forgive someone for their actions when there was, you know, betrayal, like a clear lying. But I think we tell ourselves that we do because we want to move on. So how can we genuinely forgive?

Well, you brought up the word betrayal. Betrayal is the most difficult because any person off the street that you're not that close to, it's easy to forgive, you know, but someone who you had a commitment with, deep friendship, deep intimacy, et cetera, then you're not expecting betrayal. You hold them to a higher standard. So when betrayal happens, that is, you still have to forgive. But it's the most difficult relation. It's the Most difficult thing to forgive. So you have to actually sit yourself down, put that person in front of you, in your mind, and you have to ultimately say, everything that you did or did not do cannot hinder my destiny from unfolding. I forgive you. I set you free. I cut the cord emotionally from you. I set myself free that I may unfold through my greater yet to be. And that has to be done over and over and over again until the sting is gone. And again, betrayal is the hardest one. But without forgiveness, we are. I call it a lack of forgiveness is actually self abuse. You're actually abusing yourself because the resentment, the animosity, sometimes hate, even we go through periods of hate. It's not necessarily hurting them. Could be in the ethers, vibrational frequency, could be, but it's actually hurting us. Because that resentment is producing toxic chemicals. It's inhibiting our immune system. It's allowing the hemispheres of the brain to not commune with each other. It's aging us. So all forgiveness, even that person over there that did that thing, is self forgiveness. And if without it, it's self abuse and self hate. So we need to forgive for selfish reasons. I don't want to grow old too fast. I don't want to create a condition for disease. So it is something that is necessary. But as you indicated, it is very difficult because the ego says, wants to live in blame. I'm right, I'm right, They're wrong. Or shame. I made a big mistake. I should not have entered into that relationship. What was I thinking? That person was not really a match for me. So we either go to blame or shame. Blame and shame are not spiritual practices, but forgiveness is. But the ego wants to keep us in that limited identity of the known because it can control us with defense mechanisms, compulsive mechanisms, compulsive behaviors. But once you go into the realm of the unknown, which is where forgiveness takes you, you give birth to a whole new being.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think it's hard, especially in the realm of betrayal, to forgive someone when you haven't. When you haven't found yourself in another relationship. You know, sometimes you're like, I'll forgive them when I can say, I wouldn't have this amazing love if it wasn't for what you did. So thank you. But then when you're just in the void, it's like you're still holding on to it because you don't have the evidence yet of what's on the other side.

Well, here's the deal. If you cannot love yourself or like yourself alone, then you're going to be hell in a relationship because you're going to use the relationship to make you happy. So then you're going to start a whole dynamic of expecting that person to make you happy. So you'll become like a vibrational inner stalker. They're going to make me happy. They should show up for me. They should support me. They should act this way. But if you. If you have a breakup, sometimes it is good to just be by yourself.

Yes.

Learn to like yourself. Be around friends, friends that love you, friends that support you, your community of people that like you, love you. Whether you made a mistake, whether you got a big award, whether you fell flat on your face, you. We're fortunate if we have one or two of those people that are a part of our tribe. So you can just learn to be alone, fall in love with yourself alone. Then when you enter into a relationship, it's not needy. It's just we're participating. I oftentimes defined a relationship as a joint participation in the good of life, the good of God. You're participating in a field that's bigger than both of you. So I'm not getting my joy from you. I'm getting my joy from the source that's moving through me. And we're participating in it together. Oh, here's an analogy. You have these two fish swimming in the ocean. You know, they're doing their thing. So one fish says to the other fish, listen, if you act right, I'll give you all the water you can handle. Now they're swimming in the ocean. You see? But this is what we do in life. We say, you know, I will love you. I'll give you all this love if you just fit my description of how it should be. But we're swimming in love. Self love and appreciation allows you to see that we're swimming in a field of love. It's everywhere. And so now I get to participate in this with you. You have my support, I have your support. But we're both being sourced from the source. Yeah. So it's a. But it takes a while to get there. I mean, we're talking mysticism, we're talking deep. And it's difficult, particularly for unseasoned people, people that are young. That's just difficult. I mean, people are brought up with romance novels, romantic movies, romantic comedies where, you know, happily ever after. And you walk down the aisle and you get married. It's going to be beautiful. But it should be happily. Even after, when all this stuff comes up. And we're not really taught how to navigate through this stuff that comes up in a relationship. It's not, you know, you don't learn in school. You know, you learn your arithmetic, your reading, but you don't learn the emotional maturity of what it takes to sustain a friendship, not much less an intimate relationship. Because once you add intimacy, drama.

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Well, I'll answer two things. One, obviously spiritual practice, obviously meditation allows for you to have inner breakthrough insights so that you begin to see who you, who you are. And then when you're in a friendship or an intimate relationship, you create, you create a container of commitment, of whatever and the commitment doesn't need to come from the world, doesn't need to. Well, every relationship needs to look like this. But when two people get together, you have to define your own relationship. It can't be defined by your parents relationship, your grandparents, how you saw it on the romantic comedies. You have to have an honest conversation about what this relationship looks like. This is who I am, this is who you are. And then that becomes the container for growth. And then when something isn't quite jiving, then there's honest conversation that didn't really feel good. You know, what were you thinking? You know, it becomes a place for conversation, not blame, but dialogue. Because here's what we agreed. You change the agreement. You know, what were you thinking this? Was that on purpose? Was that unconscious behavior? Was that a woundedness action? You know, these are the kind of things that have to happen in relationship. Yeah.

And I think that people today are so resistant to having those kinds of conversations. Right. Because they're afraid of losing love.

Yeah.

And they're afraid of coming off as needy. And on the other end, they're afraid of losing their freedom if someone wants to have that conversation with them. That it's this fine line, it's like this pendulum, right, of like, you have to learn how to be alone if you're someone who wants to jump into the other relationship. But then there's this other end of the pendulum of like, I'm just gonna be single forever and just do what I want. And it's like finding that perfect, like, opening for love, which has this negotiation process. And also not, not knowing what to do with yourself when you're not in that.

Yeah. And you said the word, you know, what does an individual really want? And so a lot of times I'll tell people to imagine that you have all of your needs met. You're perfectly healthy, you feel inwardly supported and loved. You have everything. What does that feel like? Now ask your soul, what do I want? So don't ask, what do you want from neediness or from something that's not yet met in your life? You actually go within and you actually feel your needs are met. And then you ask, okay, now that all my needs are met, what do I really want? And now your soul will speak. You see, not just your ego, not just the surface mind. I need more money, I need a car. No, I have everything I need. What do I really want? And then from that space, what would begin to emerge is, you know what I really feel? I really feel I want. I want a connection with somebody. That's. I could, I can travel with that. I can walk the path with that. I can go deeper with. Or you might hear, you know what I want? I want to be alone for a while. I want to just hang out, visit places, go to the museum. I want to be by myself. I don't want to tug somebody around with me. But you won't know unless you ask your soul. Your parents can't tell you, your friends can't tell you, only your soul. But you have to ask from the space and the feeling of my needs are already met, what do I really want? Because oftentimes, because of the romantic comedy myth, people think they want a relationship all the time. And their soul might be saying, you need to study, you need to meditate, man. You need to travel for a while with your tribe. You need to go to the beach, do some meditation. You don't really want a relationship right now. You think you do, but you don't. That's something you saw in a movie, you know, or it could be the other extreme. You've been doing all of that, you know, I really want some intimacy and I want to go deeper in myself. And a partner is going to help me go deeper within myself. But those questions must be asked. Here's the deal. The universal presence, whatever name you want to call it, the grand essence, the divine presence, Mother, Father, God, whatever you want to call it, the source, by law, answers every question you ask. So we have to up level our question. And when we up level our question from the feeling that my need is already met, we get answers from the soul, not just from the surface mind.

Yeah, so what if when you ask yourself that question, it says, I'm looking for someone who I can travel with, who I can have spiritual practice with, who I can build with, but what's showing up in your reality is not that, but maybe there are other people showing up in your reality. Would you say just follow this intelligence of love and see what's there, or hold true to that desire and wait.

Once you send that signal out into the universal quantum field, then you're going to start to recognize individuals, that vibe at that level. So you don't want to sell yourself short just to not be alone. Which people do you know? I don't want to be alone. And so there's anxiousness around being alone, you know, so it's there already because the moment you send that signal and you become that signal vibrationally, there's already someone that's vibing at that level, maybe more than someone and the age we're living in now. Whereas, you know, 20, 30, 40 years ago, it'd be difficult to meet somebody in India if you're here in the United States. You know, you'd have to travel. Oh, I bump. But now, the way it's set up, the person can be anywhere in the world, and you can bump into them. Somebody may DM you. You may see them on Facebook or Instagram or podcast. You know what I mean? So it's a lot easier now if you hold true to yourself. Because here's the deal. It is better to be alone than to be with bad company. You know? And I think we've all made that mistake of looking back and saying, God, why did I do that? It may not have been the whole soul talking. It may have been loneliness speaking. You know, it may have been something else saying, oh, yeah, this is it. But I think people have to get comfortable with being okay with themselves, asking the question and then waiting. You don't have to wait a long time. You're waiting in the awareness that it's already done. Not like it's like planting a seed. You don't keep digging it up to see if the seed is growing. You have tremendous faith that once you plant that seed, it's growing. Then you see the. And you see the roots. The shoots start to come up. So once you have that feeling, I'm enough. I'm good, I'm cool. What do I really want? Oh, I'm ready for intimacy. Where am I waiting? I'm not waiting in loneliness. I'm not waiting in anxiety. I'm waiting in the awareness that I'm already happy. So then what comes into my life? Happiness? Joy? That person's not needy. I'm not needy. But together, we. Metaphysically, the word need means potential. We get to activate each other's potential. We're each other's cheerleader. We're each other's support. But not from a needy space, but more from a support vibration.

Okay, guys, this is a major freaking announcement. So last year I had this vision of creating a music festival. And again, I actually shared it at my highest self weekend event last year. And I was like, one day, I'm gonna create this music festival. It's gonna be like dancing and drumming and spiritual and cultural experiences. Think, like, Trinidadian carnival outfits and Bangara drummers. And everyone is just, like, jamming out in their hearts. Like, one day, I'm gonna make this happen. And, guys, the day has come. Highest self festival on 4 20. Which, by the way, like, how perfect is that date? So if you're ready to tune into your innate joy, unleash your full expression and connect with other incredible people who listen to this podcast, who wanna wild out, be free, shake your ass for your ancestors and just have so much from then, the highest self festival is for you. So it's on 420 in Austin and we're gonna have incredible experiential workshops led by myself, Aaron Dowdy, Crystal Williams, amber Valdez, James McCrae and many others of your favorites who've been here on the podcast. And on top of that, I will be performing my album and doing a live DJ set with you. So we really gonna break it down. So if you're ready to get high with your highest self, have some fun, make incredible friends who get you on a soul level, then come join me at the highest self festival. Tickets are limited, they are on sale right now. So head over to highest self festival.com that's highest self festival.com to snag yours. And I am so excited to karaoke with you in person because I want it all or nothing at all. There's no one left too far. When you reach the bottom, it's now. Okay, shout out to you if you know that song. Come sing along with me at the highest self festival. You can find that link in the show notes and I am so excited to see you there. You better just sparkly. So I saw this video that you once made. This is probably many years ago that in some Native American cultures, marriage is a seven year contract. Can you share it? Because that really resonates.

Yeah, yeah. Well, basically every seven years the couple would come together and sometimes even within the community and share their last seven years together and then decide whether this iteration of themselves wanted to sign up again for another seven. Because every. I often teach that every say successful, it's relative. But every successful marriage goes through a divorce and a remarriage. You can't be married to the same person because you're growing. Hopefully the person that got married 10 years ago is not the same person today. So you're constantly, I won't use the word renegotiating, but you're constantly marrying the next version of each other. And so this is why sometimes a marriage will become uneven because one person is deeply involved in growing another person sitting on the couch, eating potato chips and they don't really want to grow. They like the life the way it is at this particular moment. So it becomes uneven vibrationally. So I think because of the romantic comedy vibration, people Become afraid of change. And they'll say they'll get married and they'll hear things like, say to each other, please don't change. No, no, no, no. You're going to change. Marriage is growing and embracing the changes. So I think that was Lakota, if I'm not mistaken, the Native American Lakota tribe. It could be incorrect, but I think so. And that was how they did it. And it was very successful because they got to remarry. You know, that's what happens in our culture, American culture, when people renew their vows. It's supposed to be renewing vows as two new people, not the person that got married 20 years ago. But who are we today? And do we want to keep doing this? Let's celebrate the 20. But we want to remarry each other at this level. Yeah.

And I think it's that conscious choosing it doesn't mean it can only last seven years. But after seven years, you know, without. I think when you're in a marriage, the way that our society is set up, you might say that you're choosing each other, but are you really? There's just so much involved when it comes in a divorce. But to say, hey, if you're unhappy here for whatever reason or you think something else, like this is the time. Exactly.

Just be honest.

Yes.

And then friendship can happen. You know, if, if not, then, you know, not. The seven years hasn't been wasted because growth is happening, but maybe there's no friendship now. You know, I've seen people. I have a. I know a couple that actually got divorced and a number of years later got remarried.

Wow.

They both grew and came back together and got remarried. I've seen a lot of iterations of things like that. Yeah.

It's crazy because when I was in college, I decided I wanted to write a book, that marriage should be a 10 year contract. So there's like something in the collective Z. And I remember my college boyfriend's like, you only want to be with me for 10 years. We were not together for 10 years. And then my marriage, you know, I was with him for seven years and that's when I found that video of yours. And I was like, there's something to this, of the seven year death and rebirth cycle. And it just like allows you to see the good in the relationship rather than it being a failure.

Yeah. Well, that, you know, in America it's called the seven year itch. Which means after seven years, pretty much you know each other on the surface, stuff has come up. And as you look at it and wade through it. That's when you can say, we can work through this, or, no, we need to have a different relationship. This is not going to work. But I never call those relationships failures. Every relationship is actually a school that gives us feedback as to who we thought we were, who we are, where we need to grow and develop and unfold. If we don't look at those things, then we're doomed to repeat it again. But if we actually look at it with the help of a therapist, the help of a real honest friend, you can actually look at it and say, I really need to grow in this area. No blame and no shame. Just I need to grow in this area. This is my growing edge. Because sometimes in a relationship, unconsciously, the other person will blame another person. You did this. You didn't do this. That doesn't help. It just creates resistance to growth. Yeah.

Do you think marriage as a construct is even working for us today?

It's not working in terms of the fact that 50% doesn't work. Next. Marriages don't work.

In California, it's 75% divorce rate.

It just. It doesn't. So in terms of the structure and a lot of the young people are choosing not to get married. They're choosing just to be together, to live together, to work together, to be in business together, and to grow together. And I don't know what the statistics are for the lasting of that, but it appears to be longer than the legal marriage. The thing about legal marriage is that you're actually adding a third party to your marriage. You're actually adding the state. Yeah, that's a vibration. You know, I believe, you know, at this point in my life that if you want to do that, you have a ceremony, but you don't involve the state in the ceremony, don't involve Uncle Sam in the ceremony. You create your own commitments, your own rituals, but you don't involve the state. Don't get a license to get married. That's my personal opinion.

There's a heaviness that happens.

You start to conform. Oh, I'm married. I better. No, no, be in the flow of love. Have your ceremony. Have your community around you. Celebrate your togetherness. You can have your civil stuff together so that people have insurance and all the things that are needed in the, you know, life insurance and all that stuff so that you're taking care of each other, you know. But once you add the state, then expectations and obligations sometimes override the feeling tone of being together.

Yeah, I think a lot of women are conditioned to Want marriage. You know, it's always like, get him to get him to the altar. Yeah, exactly. Like, that's the goal of, like, you're worthy enough. And a lot of women's wounds are, like, around not being chosen.

Right.

You know, so if I am the one that he deems forever, too, then I am good enough for that. But, you know, then you get to the altar and it's like, and then. And then what? You know, it's not a lifetime of safety and security that only comes from.

Within anyway, you know, But. But there's an old joke where the bride is nervous. She's about to walk down the aisle, but she's shaking. She's never. So the minister takes her to the side and says, listen, you're going to walk down the aisle. Think to yourself, aisle. And then when you get a little further, there's a changing room to the right. So when you get there, you just say, okay, change. I made it this far. And then at the front, there's a hymnal. Once you get to the hymnal, you're there. You know, you're going to make it. So the husband's finish line, will he make it? The husband hears her saying, I'll change him. I'll change him.

Oh, my gosh.

Because oftentimes people will get married and they'll marry potential. They'll say, oh, I'm going to marry him, but I'll change him. He has some flaws, he has some rough edges. I'll change him. That's not the way to go into it either. You know, you go into it as is, is this your mate or not? Doesn't have to be with the state. And obviously changes are going to happen. Both people are going to change. I think it's easier in a relationship if the relationship is based upon growth. It's based upon change. It's based upon transformation. Not, we're going to stay the same and be the same people for the next 5, 10, 15, 20 years. No, we are going to change. And you know what? We're going to change consciously. We're going to consciously change. We're going to meditate together. We're going to study some books. We're going to go to a spiritual community that we both feel enlivens our soul. We're going to change together so that five years from now, we're different. We're better versions of ourselves. I think that takes us out of the romantic comedy and takes us into a conscious, transformational relationship.

They say that women enter into a relationship thinking I'm going to change him. And men enter into relationship thinking, she's never going to change.

And you know what? Men are generally happier married than women, because I don't know what the psychology definitely is, but you're right. Women want to change the person. The man is like, they've accepted who the individual is.

But the shadow of that is the woman changes. And she does change. But you weren't like that before. You used to love watching football with me to make me snacks.

You pretended to watch, like, football.

Exactly, exactly. Why have you changed? And she's like, why not put on this facade anymore?

Right? Oh, that's not even really me. I didn't. I don't like soccer.

Right, right.

Can we watch the cooking channel?

Exactly that. It's. But it's hard because it's like we're both parties are trying to make the deal happen, and then the deal happens, and it's like, okay, here's who I really am.

Well, that's where honesty comes in. People have to let their hair down and be themselves, which is hard. That's the hardest thing. You asked me in the beginning about authenticity. It was authenticity. Who are. Who are you at this moment? Not forever, but who are you really? What do you really like? You know what? Be. Be yourself. A real friend allows you to be you. They don't want you to put on airs. They don't want you to be anything that you're not. Just be you. And so if you can be you with the individual that you might be with intimately, and they can be themselves, you can see this is going to be all right. I don't like this guy, you know.

And I think that relates to loving your aloneness. Because if you don't love that, then of course you're going to try to accommodate and make yourself be that who you think that person wants. Because you just don't want to be alone.

Absolutely.

But if, you know, okay, if this doesn't work out, I'm still good.

Right. I facilitate marriages at weddings. And I always. Not always, but a lot of times I'll put in the talk, I'll say to each couple, listen, sometimes a man just needs to be alone just to be. Go to his man cave, not be bothered you. And I'll say this to both of them. Sometimes a woman, she's in a particular mood, he has a particular feeling, she doesn't want to be bothered, she just wants to go. I said, basically, as a couple, you are to protect each other's solitude. That becomes your gift to the other person, oh, you need some moments. I'm going to protect yourself. I'm not going to bother you. Let me know when you're ready to come out of that. So if a couple that likes their own aloneness and can appreciate it in the other protects the other person's solitude, when the person comes out of that, they feel supported and they have more to give because the person wasn't harangue. Haranguing that. I remember I was thinking talking to a guy the other day, and he was telling his girlfriend, you know, I just. I just need some time. You know, they'd been traveling together and some things came up and, you know, travel. Try traveling with somebody and see if it works.

Oh, you learn everything about them.

And he wasn't trying to break up. Just. He just said, I just need a week. I just want to meditate. I just want to fast. And she kept calling him every day, two, three, four times a day. You ready to talk now? He said. I said, I just need a week. I'm in my house. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to the movies. I'm not hanging out with my buddies. I'm just in my home. I'm meditating, I'm fasting. And then finally, around the fourth day, she finally got it and said, okay, I'll just, you know, with first four days, she's calling three, four, five times a day, texting, calling. What are you doing? I'm doing nothing, you know.

Well, I think a lot of men specifically, and I noticed kind of it's not all, but men tend to want that more reclusive, alone, like the Shiva on the mountain. And women are a lot more of that. Like Shakti Village.

Yeah, community.

Yeah, community. Which can also turn into the more anxious attachment style. And men can sometimes have not all, but the more avoidant. And then we tend to attract someone that's the opposite. So the person who really wants to, like, merge and connect and talk all the time finds the person who's like, I'm gonna fast for a week with my phone off. It's like, great match.

It's like teachers. It's like positive is always looking for a void to fill. So that's why opposites attract, because there's a positive. They used to call it a negative, but it's not really a negative, just a void, and then the positive fills it. So there's a. Is a sweet dance, but when one's conscious about the dance, then it's not as hurtful.

So how can we you know, many people listening to this podcast are spiritual, and they're healers. They tend to attract men who need the healing.

That happens with therapists. It happens with healers even in their own clientele base.

Yeah.

They're like, don't attract themselves.

Exactly.

And as they're healing that person, they're healing themselves. It's like, oh, this person's paying me to see myself.

Right. Or healing their. Their dad couldn't. So is it possible to be with someone who's just on an equal spiritual level as us, or do we tend to be attracted to someone who maybe is more evolved in different ways? I find it rare to find, like, two really spiritual people together in relationship.

Well, it does happen, but it doesn't. It doesn't look like television.

Yeah.

You know, I think people who have that dynamic, they might even argue. They may even, you know, have tiffs and things like that, but the context is a big field of love. In other words, you can walk into a room and two people may be sitting there not arguing, but you can feel the iciness in their relationship. You can walk into another room, and then people may be having a heated conversation, but you feel the love. So it's not what it looks like. So there's definitely opportunity for people to be together. Doesn't look like romantic comedy, but they're in love and they know each other. They know each other's language, they know each other's love language. They know each other's language when they're upset, but it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean, because we're arguing that we're about to break up. It's just we've learned how to talk with each other, you see. So I think in the beginning of our spiritual growth and unfoldment, we attract what we need to grow. When we learn that lesson, then there's a different level of people that come into our life. It's. It's. You look at somebody, it's easier. It's like, you know them. You know, it's like, oh, I know you. It's different. Doesn't mean it's not going to be challenge, but it's different from the gross things when you're first starting out.

Yeah. I think some of our first relationships are those karmic relationships that brings out all of the unhealed patterns, ancestral patterns, et cetera. And then we can move into dharmic relationships that are here to be of service to something so much greater.

You go from role mate to soulmate.

Yes.

And again, you're playing roles. Society says you should be like this. The man should be like this. Woman should be like this. You're playing these roles. You're trying to fit yourself into the role of how you think you should be in this relationship. And then as that wears all off, then the soulmate shows up. Because you're actually living from your soul, not from the assigned role. Yeah.

So for people listening right now, especially the woman out there, they're like, do these men exist? The divine masculine man? I don't see them out there. How do we meet them? How do we spot them? And maybe it doesn't look like, you.

Know, where women are finding a lot of these beautiful men at quantum physics scientists conferences.

Okay. Writing that one down.

It's kind of a joke, but it's kind of true. Because they're not into religiosity. And this is men and women. But they have gone into the quantum science to such a degree that they bumped into God. Because when you go into the quantum field, into the nothingness, then you find consciousness. The same thing that the metaphysicians have been talking about for years. The quantum scientists are now calling it consciousness. This divine, energetic substance that's conscious of itself. And so they're becoming deeply spiritual from the scientific realm. Now, I'm saying this tongue in cheek, but it's actually. It's truism. But, yeah, I think this. Women or men, if they find that place within themselves, which is where the work is, they will bump into it in the external world when you least expect it.

Do you believe in this concept of twin flames or soulmates?

Yeah, that's a whole other subject, but I believe that exists. But a soul mate is the individual that gives you a really good mirror for you to see yourself. And has a lack of judgment about what they see in the mirror when they look at you. So you're able to be comfortable with your hair down. And they're not judging or blaming or shaming. That's a really good soulmate. That could be a friend. You could have a soulmate in your life now that's just a friend. Or you could have a soulmate that's an intimate partner. But judgment and blame and shame are not there. It's just like. It's kind of a more of expanded connection. And sometimes one individual is more evolved in that area. So the other person, by being in the field of someone that's not judgmental, starts to grow in that area. They stop judging him or her. They stop judging themselves. And then the yoke becomes More and more equal. Yeah. It's good just to be around good company, you know? And everybody's not equal in everything, you know?

Do you believe that prior to incarnation, we have certain soul contracts with people that we're meant to meet in this lifetime?

I believe that when you incarnate, you're actually making a choice to what you're going to contribute, what gifts you're going to activate. And then that particular wave also has a destiny of who you're going to meet or the type of person you're going to meet. Yeah, I think that's all a part of that. Yeah.

Yeah.

But you don't know it before you get here.

Right.

You know, you have to actually discover. And then the relationship will activate something within you. And if you become consciously on a path, you make the best out of whatever the situation is.

Do you believe that there are the twin flames, like you and another body that are supposed to activate, like, all of your deepest shadows, but it's like the highest level of love?

Yeah, that's one way of defining it. Yeah. I believe that. It doesn't mean they're supposed to be married.

Right.

It's just there's, like, you say there's a karmic connection. When you come in, so much stuff gets activated, you know? I remember I was doing a workshop, and I went into the kitchen to see about the food, and I saw this woman, and she looked at me and everything became full of light. Wow. She saw the light. I saw the light. We saw all of these different life. I didn't know the person, different lifetimes. And I went up. I said, did you see that? And she says, did you see? I said, yeah. We describe what we saw, and she thought, like, we were supposed to be together. I didn't think we were supposed to be together, but I did feel that there was a deep karmic bond that we were to explore. But she thought, oh, you know, we should get together. You should come by, whatever. And I didn't feel that. I just said, no, no, this is definitely a connection, you know, and so that's where it stayed. It was a connection. And I saw it with another person as well. She was going into a bookstore, and we looked back at each other, and it's this big light. We became really good friends. Not intimate, they become lovers or anything like that, but it's a very deep bonded connection, you know? And so, yeah, I think that if people can let go of the romantic ideal and embrace who they're meant to be, then all those relationships Serve that. And then the part in the rainbow is you will probably find an intimate in that as well.

And I find that certain people, they come into your life because it's a little glimmer of what is possible for you.

Yeah. You see in them your potential.

Yes.

So there's, you know, there's seasons, reasons, and lifetimes. Some people come into your life for a season. There's something that needs to be healed or revealed, and they're not going to be there forever, but it's intense. It's a beautiful season. Sometimes it's a very specific reason. That karmic connection you talked about, a healing happens. And then some people come into your life for a lifetime. They're there. The relationship may go through changes, but they're not going anywhere. You're not going anywhere. And a whole lot of undulation of love and joy and forgiveness, and you work out a lot together. Yeah, yeah. Now, the thing of it is, we want that marriage to be that one.

Right.

Sometimes the marriage is the season, sometimes it's the reason. And then. But it prepares you for lifetime.

And I find that today, you know, one of the beauties of social media and online dating is you're exposed to the person in India, the person all over. But then there's this idea that, well, if it's not you, it's someone else and someone else and someone else. And I find people, maybe they could have locked eyes with someone at the bookstore and had that moment of light, but they don't even lock eyes anymore. You know, you don't really have that on. Yeah, you don't even have that on the dating app. And it's like all these, like, lost. And then maybe you do have that moment with someone, but then you're like, oh, whatever, I'll find another version of them that's even taller, you know, or whatever the thing is and that we close ourselves off to these potential experiences of love.

Yeah, it's the dark side and the light side of the. That kind of technology.

Right.

Again, one has to find that person in themselves, you see, and that's the real work. And people, they'll window shop, you know, their own people will not become committed in their own spiritual practice or just window shop. And then they'll do the same thing in life through this window shop, you know. But at some point, there has to be a deep commitment to oneself. And if that happens, it kind of creates, like, an inner explosion of perception. You become different and your discernment becomes very keen. You can go on the Internet and you can look at somebody and you can see, oh, no, they're putting their best resume forward, but that's not who they are. You know, you could look at somebody else and say, this person, it's not really bragging, but there's something there, you know? But discernment comes with, with growth. You're able to see. And a lot of people don't want to pay the price that you have to pay to have that kind of discernment.

Yeah. Because then you, you see right through people. You can't have the fantasy anymore.

No, you just see it, see, oh, they're putting on airs. They're, they're, they're trying to pretend to be something they think I want them to be. You see all of that.

And I think we choose not to see it because we just want to be in love.

Right.

But then it's like. But then you're just going to end up, you know, where you are now, but with a lot more heartbreak on top of that.

Right. And maybe some experience that you didn't want to have.

Exactly. And, and I think what you said, too, it's almost like your spiritual practice reflects your relational practice. That if you are someone who's maybe all over the place with your spiritual practice, undisciplined, maybe that's how you are in relationship. Right. Let me try this new flavor today. Okay. Maybe that. Maybe that if you're someone who's like, deeply devoted and committed, you have to be honest with yourself that you want to be in partnership with someone else who's like that. That's not most people.

No. Well, you know, people want experiences. We're not just experiential being. We're spiritual beings first. And we can, you know, it used to be said, you know, we're spiritual beings having human experience. I like to say we're spiritual beings having a human incarnation. I can choose my experience. So if I'm working upon myself, then I'm not going to be distracted by certain things. They're going to create different kind of experiences. I'm going to see what I really want. I'm going to discern that. It's a story about this little boy who's in this field of weeds. He's picking strawberries. And the man says to the little boy, all these weeds, how do you, how do you discern to get the strawberries? He said, all I see are strawberries. He was just looking for strawberries, so he wasn't distracted by the weeds. So when we go within and discover ourself we start to see that everywhere. We start to see our higher self everywhere. We don't get distracted. It's like, I see through that. I see through that. There will be mistakes. I call them missed takes. That's all like an actor takes has to do a takeover, you know, we're blind in certain areas, so a relation will come in to help us see our blind spot. And then once that blind spot is revealed, we forgive ourselves. We forgive them that we don't see life through that particular lens anymore.

Yeah, it's all a karmic lesson that brings us closer to truth.

Absolutely.

So do you have any advice for people out there who maybe they're afraid of trusting again?

Well, this is what I say. Trust the presence and love people, but don't mix it up.

That's a good one.

People are malleable.

Yeah.

But the universal presence is the same yesterday, today, and forever. So if you put your total trust and surrender to the presence of and seek to be the best you can be, and you trust that what's going to come into your life is that vibration. But if you put all your trust in a person, then you're mixing up. Trust God, love people, love people, but trust God. And then God will bring the right people that you can then trust. Does that make sense?

So good. So good. And I think that sometimes we just want to live in trust. So we're like, I'm just gonna trust you because if I trust you, you can't do anything wrong to me because I'm trusting you.

Right.

You know, and that's not what trust is. Humans, we're.

We're. We're fallible. We're growing. We're all on. We're all growing. Everyone is growing. You know, you trust the presence, and then it will bring into manifestation the right people at the right time for.

You to grow and trust your discernment and trust that even if someone was to betray your trust in whatever way, that you will get through it.

Oh, you're going to get through it. Because there's a part of you that's unhurt. You don't know that part yet. You just know your personality, but you don't know the depth of your spirit. So when someone hurts you or you perceive that they hurt you and you forgive and get through it, you find a place within yourself that's unheardable. And then you walk through life. Things happen. You don't take them personally. They didn't just. They didn't do this to you. They just did it because that's who they are. They could not not do that because that was the level of consciousness they were operating at. They didn't search you off and say, I'm going to hurt this person. They were going to hurt, lack of a better word. Anybody that came into that, they're a kleptomaniac, they're going to steal from anybody. They're not just stealing from you. Yes, you see? And then you're more free.

I think that's important because then we don't. It's personal, but it's not personal. You know, the personal factor is how are we in that dynamic and that's our work to do. But yeah, someone who lies or cheats or betrays or they're going to do it regardless, you know, and we can just trust that now we know the vibration of it. We can sense it earlier along and we'll get through it.

Yeah, if you take full responsibility for your life, you'll get through everything a lot faster. You know, I can remember being involved with a narcissist and I would see how they treated other people. And then. So when I got treated the same way, it was like, you saw this. You saw how they used other people. You didn't think it was going to happen to you, you know, so I had to forgive myself, dust myself off and keep. Keep stepping, you know, And I took full response, take full responsibility for that. I take full responsibility for my own blindness, my own belief that that wouldn't happen to me, you know, But I'm good, I'm happy, I'm in joy, I'm in love. That's a long time ago, but, you know.

Yeah, no, it's. It's. It's important and, and just trusting our inner guidance and trusting the divine plan for us. So what does your spiritual practice like?

I'm kind of always in it, always on. But by my overt practice is when I wake up in the morning, I put my. First of all, when I wake up, I smile. I just smile. And it releases tonic chemicals into the body. And when I put my feet in the ground, I surrender to life. First of all, I'm grateful that I exist. I surrender to life. And I ask for the strength to handle every assignment that comes my way. Some of those assignments are on my to do list, things I'm already scheduled to do. Some of those assignments are, I don't know, I'm going to. Something's going to happen that's unexpected. Okay, so that's when I wake up and then I go into the kitchen and make my water with my minerals, my lemon and different things. I drink the water, I go work out, then I come home. And then I have a meditation setting. I meditate. And then I shower and do all this stuff, pray before I leave the house. And then throughout the course of the day, there'll be moments of just stopping, resetting my vibration. And then. And then I do. I do a couple other things when I wake up and my phone over there, I wake up. I have about 16 or 17 things in my notes that are like affirmations or things I'm going to manifest, but they're written as if they're already done. So when I go to bed at night, I read it. When I wake up in the morning, I read that. So before I do any social media, anything that's going on in the world, I read while I'm sleepy. I, Michael, am the light of the Christ. All of my needs are met. Everything is unfolding perfectly. I have perfect health and I have my spiritual community. I have my family. I have friends and associates. And then there are certain people that I'm praying for. I'll see them perfectly whole. So I'll read that when I'm first waking up, before I'm totally conscious. And that's the last thing I read before I fall asleep. So I might be watching something on television or I may not be, but I'm not going to let that be the last thing that goes in my mind. The last thing that goes in my mind are these things that I've written. Right now it's about 16 or 17 things. Because most of our life is determined by our subconscious mind. So why don't we program it rather than let the world program it? And then you start to see magic happen that you cannot make happen. But the universe finds all kinds of ways to make it happen because you create a vibrational match within you by feeling that it's already done. Yeah.

So beautifully said. This is, you know, such a great reminder to me to do that practice. Because sometimes, you know, we fall off or we're like, is this really doing anything? So just to remind ourselves of. Of the power of that. So many of us, we check our text messages.

Don't do that first thing. Yeah, second or third.

Yeah, exactly. First, drink your water.

This thing is you take care of you. I'm hydrated. I've surrendered to. I've been. I'm grateful for life. I read the. The that what I'm working on as an already accomplished fact. Then other stuff comes in Beautifully said.

Well, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us today. This. We hit so many different points from marriage to healing, from relationships and everything else, and it's an episode that people want to listen to time and time again. So. So thank you so much for being a pioneer in spirituality for all of us, for making the path a little bit easier for all of us who've come after you and continuing to lead with your sunny, joyful energy.

And thank you for doing you.

Yes.

Have you been to Agape lately?

I haven't been lately. I need to come back. I know it's moved location, so I.

Want to come to come on out as I tell people. Come on up to Agape. Yes. You know, go to agapelive.com, see it if you're at a distance, but if you're in LA area, come on up. It's. It's a beautiful place.

Yeah. The live streams are beautiful as well, and we'll have the links listed in the show notes.

Thank you for the invitation.

Thank you. Thank you so much for tuning in. If you love this episode, please share it. This is a really good one to have conversations with your friends, your partner, and just talk about these things that I feel like we don't talk a lot about in society. You know, sometimes we're like, oh, this is what marriage is. This is what relationships are. And to just really start to question these things so we can find truer aspects of them for ourselves. So share the episode and if you loved it, please leave a review for it in the itunes store and take a screenshot of it and I will send you my free womb meditation. So leave a review for the podcast, take a screenshot and email it over to Sahara am Sahara rose dot com. You can find that email and all the links mentioned in the show notes. Thank you again for tuning in and I'll see you in the next one. Trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom, trust your inner guidance. So trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom, trust your inner guidance.