547: The Ultimate Guide To Healing Heartbreak with Sahara Rose

Everything that you want is on the other side of this heartbreak. And the ultimate way for you to heal from this heartbreak is to become the version of yourself you could have never been without it. Because it's only through doing that that you will have immense gratitude for the heartbreak. Had I not become an artist and started producing and singing and rapping and performing music, you know, I would have healed from my heartbreak, but I wouldn't have been like, that was like, the best thing on planet Earth. Welcome back to the High Self podcast. My name is Sahara Rose. On this podcast, I love to talk about matters of the heart. And if there's any one thing that has taught me what I know most about the spiritual journey, it has been the medicine of heartbreak. And if you're listening to this episode right now, I'm gonna guess that it has taught you a great deal, too, and that you were in the mystery school. That is heartbreak. And before we drop into this episode, be sure to hit subscribe wherever you're listening to this podcast. That is the best way to stay up to date on the latest episodes. We've got this in video format, so if you're just hearing my voice, be sure also watch our fabulous outfits on video as well on Spotify, YouTube, or the Apple Store. This is the best way to stay in the flow with future conversations and also allows the podcast to reach more people. So hit subscribe so I can keep vibing with you on all future episodes. Now let's get into this one. You know, it's so funny because, like, every song, every movie, every huge piece of art starts from heartbreak. You know, it's heartbreak that makes us make these ginormous shifts in our lives and move mountains and discover parts of ourselves. Because what I have found in my own journey is there's nothing that rocks you to your core. If you know, you know none other. Like heartbreak. And that's why my most played song in middle school and to this day is Unbreak my heart. Say you love me again. Toni Braxton. Shout out to her. Damn, she spoke to my soul. I had never even gone through a heartbreak when I was 12 years old, but I knew when I go through. And that's a song I'm gonna be listening to. And it definitely was. So at the end of 2022, had been in a relationship for seven years, married for three, and it was a good relationship, not a perfect relationship. There's no perfect relationships. But one day I found out that my husband had been cheating on me, and it rocked my freaking world. It Felt like I was in my own living nightmare, you know, it was the last thing I would have ever expected from him. And if you've been in any of these, like, sudden deaths, like, your life looked one way, you found out something, and now your life looks like something totally else. And you don't even know what's on the other side. It's like you were woken up in this dream and now your new reality is one that you can't even recognize. You know what? It's like that on your knees, crying. It's like a level of crying that you've never felt before, when you are crying so much that you physically collapse to the floor. Have you felt that way before? I'm gonna guess, because you're listening to this podcast, it's the Broken Heart Club. You have those moments change you forever. Those moments of feeling so much rock you to your core. And you are never the same person on the other side because that old version of you has died. That old version of you is no longer. And for me, she became like the sand that, you know, sifted through my fingers back into the desert. And I was left with this question of who am I on the other side of this? I was in that relationship to. I was 24 years old, so I didn't really even know life outside of relationship. And I was cast into the abyss of the unknown. And I had no idea where I was going to move, what I was going to do, how to go through a divorce, and how I was going to heal from this ginormous thing the most. You know, I've experienced hardships with my health, with my family, but when it's someone that you choose, like, that's the person that you choose that you love, that you trust. And when they break your trust, it's a whole other level. I think that's what makes heartbreak so hard is like, we don't choose our families. So when there's family challenges, it's really difficult. But it's almost like we didn't. We didn't choose them consciously. In this reality, though, I believe our souls did. But when it's a love like that, well, I actually also believe our souls chose it, but also we've consciously chosen it. So we start really second guessing our ourselves of what did I not see? What did I do wrong? And the biggest question of how will I ever trust anyone or even myself again? If you know, you know, so heartbreak. When I experienced that moment of being on my knees crying, not knowing what I was going to do, I looked up. And I looked at myself in the mirror and I couldn't even recognize my face because I was crying so hard. And I just looked myself in the mirror and I was like, no matter what happens, I got you. And if God spirit wanted me out of this reality, there must be be a reality that's so much greater for me that I can't even fathom right now. And it needed to be like this for me to walk away again. I didn't know what was on the other side of this, but I decided right then that I was going to make this heartbreak my greatest heart opening. And I was not going to become like one of those people who have their hearts broken or get cheated on and never love again and never trust again and use that as their excuse for closing their heart. In fact, this heartbreak will be the reason why I've experienced the greatest love in this lifetime. I don't know how, but I will trust. And so I went on this journey, this journey that took me to many places around the world, from dying in Egypt, to doing a lot of deep healing work, praying in Bali, to experiencing, like, true freedom for the first time, Winding my waistline in Trinidad, to going really deep into the shadow realms in Sedona, sitting with plant medicine, seeing all of my childhood ancestral traumas and the ways that they were passed on. And after those first six months of really, really deep shadow work, I realized that the only way that this is going to be truly the greatest love story of my life is if I make this the very catalyst for me to become the person that I've always wanted to become on the other side. And so I started to really ask myself, what kind of life do I want to live, if I could live any kind of life? Because we often focus on what kind of relationship do I want. But I actually looked at this of what if I created the life that I desire? Well, then the relationship will fit into that. Whereas I think a lot of us, we think relationship is a ticket into a life. Oh, I want this kind of life, so I must date this kind of person. Instead, I realized, what kind of life do I desire? And for me, when I tapped it, I'm like, I want to be like, dancing on cobblestone streets to Afrobeats music and eating tropical fruits and, you know, have flowers around me and friends and community and just dance and surround myself with beauty. This is the life that I want. So I ended up moving to first Portugal, and then I lived in London for a while. I was in Europe for six months. And really romanticizing my life. Of course, there were many moments still where the waves of the sadness and the despair would hit me. But then I start to look around of like, wow, like I'm really in this other reality right now that I would have never been in had I still been in that marriage. And so I started to realize that maybe this love story is really about me. It's not about me finding a better love. And, you know, a lot of us, we think, ah, this will only be worth it when I'm in a better relationship. But I started to realize it's about who I've become. And that's what led me writing the song Love Story, which is the last song on my album, My Body's An Altar. And I'll link below really about that. This love story story is about me, and this love story is about you. And the ultimate way to heal heartbreak is to use it as the fertile soil to become the version of you that you have always felt like it was too soon to be. There is nothing in this world that rocks your world like a heartbreak does. But if there's anything I learned from my divorce is that you can take that sadness, that grief, that anger, and turn it into the fertile soil that you need to transform and blossom into your highest self. I would definitely not be dressing and looking this cute if it wasn't through my heartbreak. So if you've experienced one recently, or maybe it was a few years ago and you're still kind of excavating the different pieces of it, I have created my ultimate heartbreak healing course for you. So I know the realms really well. And I also know what an opportunity it is is. And I'm genuinely excited for you because the universe would not have taken away this relationship if there was not something so much greater for you on the other side. And you might not realize it now. I had no idea that I was going to become a recording artist and drop an album that came out that has hundreds of thousands of plays and is even played on radio stations throughout Africa. None of this would have activated within me without my heartbreak. So I will be guiding you step by step through the system I used to heal myself. And not not just heal, but become the version of me I never thought I would be able to become. So I am so excited to see what awaits you on the other end of this portal. So head over to iamsaharrose.com Heartbreak and use coupon code podcast for $50 off the course. Again, that's iamsaharrose.com HeartBreak with coupon code podcast for $50 off THE COURSE and you can find those links in the show notes. You can get started with the course as soon as you join. It's self paced, so you could do it every day for 33 days, maybe every other day for 66 days, however you want to do it. But trust me when I say you will be another version of you on the other side. And I am so excited for you to meet them again. Head over to the show notes right now to get started. So if there's one thing my friends know about me is I'm always making a potion like real life Green witch in the building. You probably are too if you're listening to this podcast. And I'm obsessed with using organic, wildly crafted, sustainable herbs. And that's why my favorite brand, and I'm literally not even just saying it because they sponsor the podcast, but it's genuinely my favorite brand ever, is Anima Mundi. If you've not heard of them, you're living under a rock. First of all, just the branding is gorgeous. Second of all, the founder, Adriana, she's been here on the podcast. She's a dear friend of mine, Costa Rican herbalist. But like, let's just take a moment to talk about these products. Okay, here's my stack of what I get. And by the way, it lasts forever. So their dirty rose collagen booster plant based collagen booster, Chai rose. I mean, enough said. They're golden Moon milk, which is like a turmeric golden milk, but it has blue Lotus tea, which is an ancient Egyptian like special tea that makes you have beautiful and even lucid dreams. Mucuna, which boosts dopamine in your brain. Naturally, they're cerebrum tonic, so especially if I'm like writing or doing a lot of work. And also they're the mind product, which has lion's mane, Lucuma, Gotu Cola, Holy Basil Rami. So lots of ayurvedic herbs that are wild crafted and really good for cognitive health and also for alleviating anxiety. They use zero fillers, binders and flow agents. And let's be real, most of these companies you see out there have a lot of fillers in them, so you're not actually getting the pure herb. And most importantly, everything they do is fair trade. So if you want to get my order or whatever tickles your fancy, head over to Anima Mundi Herbals and use coupon code Sahara. 15 for 15 off. That's anima mundi herbals. With code Sahara 15 for 15% off. And you can find that link in the show notes.

So just intuition, trusty inner wisdom, Trust you in the guidance.

So who is that version of you that you're like, one day I want to be like this. One day I want to travel like this, dress like this, have this type of friendship, have this type of home. What's that one day version of you? Let some things come to mind right now. And if you don't know, think about the things that you might be envious of, the people you might be envious of. Because our triggers are actually doorways and mirrors of the unlived parts of ourselves. So often if someone is triggering you, it's because there's an aspect of them that you want to step into. So maybe when you see travel bloggers, you're like, ugh, I have a 9 to 5 job. It's so unfair. It's like part of you might desire that freedom to be a travel blogger. Or maybe it's when you see these like homesteaders, like, making sourdough bread and you're like, ugh, I have a 9 to 5 job. If I didn't, I would be doing that. It's like part of you wants to be doing that. So what are the triggers? Where is the envy? Where's the jealousy? Because that is often guiding us to what is unlived within ourselves. The next piece are who are the crushes that I have? Who are the people that I am putting on a pedestal? So crushes often are parts of ourselves that we have not yet tapped into. So for me, I'll be honest, I had a giant crush on someone I had never met the first six months of my divorce. An afrobeat singer. Why, I wonder. But for me, I didn't know I could produce afrobeats music then. I loved the music, but I didn't know I had it in me. So when I saw this person voice and they also produce their music, I was like, that is so amazing. Oh my God, I hope I can date them so I can be in the studio and like, figure out how they like set up their songs and record their ad libs, you know, like that was like what I wanted in the relationship, but for some reason I didn't put together. Maybe I just want to make music. So if you have a type. I'm always crushing on musicians. Is there a part of you that wants to be a musician? I have crushes on people who are super successful. They make a lot of money. Well, baby girl, maybe you want to make a lot of money. You don't need to date someone and like have to satisfy them to keep the bag. You can get that bag. I got that bag. It's not going anywhere. So we think we have to date that person to become it. But actually it is part of you. So who are the crushes that you have? So I want you to close your eyes for a moment right now and I want you to imagine it is one year from now. So just think of the month you don't even know the date. And one year from now and you and your best friend are meeting up for a coffee. You haven't seen each other in person the whole year. It's been a crazy year. You've been keeping in touch. Don't worry. But so much has happened that this is your first time actually seeing each other in person. And you are just so excited. You just have so much to tell her. And you sit down as she looks at you or he looks at you. And what are the first words that come out of their. Out of their mouth? And now how do you feel in their energy? What has shifted within you? Oh, my God, you are glowing. What shifted now? Your best friend is asking you. I know you've been working on this really exciting thing all year. Tell me about it. Start telling them. Wow. I am so proud of you. I am so inspired by you. This is incredible. None of this would have happened without that heartbreak. And now tell your friend how this heartbreak became the very fuel for you to become this version of you. Sam. And just giving so much gratitude, placing your hand on your heart for that version of you a year ago that decided to really feel those feelings and turn them into the catalyst that has made you this version of you today. That none of this would have been possible without your heartbreak. And it was the exact heart opening you needed for this version of you to be born. And even though it was extremely challenging and confronting, it caused you to look at all of these things below the surface of the hood of your car that you would have never looked at had it not been for this heartbreak. And from this mud grew your lotus. And you have moved through the process of alchemy to take that bronze and turn it into gold and giving yourself a hug and just squeezing your arms and loving yourself, maybe kissing your own shoulder and just giving yourself so much love. For holding you, for showing up for you, for being there for you day in and day out. No matter what, I always got you. I'm always here for you. I love you so much. Giving yourself some nice squeezes, holding your own hand. Oh, I love you so much, self. Oh, you're so amazing. You got me here. You did that. No one else. And when you're ready, you can open your eyes. So honestly, I feel like the missing link in our wellness space is sensuality. Like we're so focused on self improvement and development and, you know, learning everything about ourselves, but sometimes we just need to enjoy. Sometimes we need to like explore our fantasies and, you know, let our minds wander. And a really safe way of doing that is through audio stories. So I'm obsessed with these Dipsy. They're an app that's designed by and for women with hundreds of sexy, short audio clips that you can listen to when you're in the bath or taking a walk or maybe picking up your kids from school before they get into the car. So whatever fantasy is your thing. Maybe it's a sexy Cuban salsa dancer, like dirty dancing, cavana night style. That would be mine. Or maybe you're into like, I don't know, a Viking picking you up and sweeping you off your feet and taking you into the northern lights. Whatever floats your boat. They probably have that for you. So you can try 30 days for free by heading over to dipsystories.com Sahara that's 30 days of free full access. Yes, you heard that right by heading over to D I P s e a stories.com Sahara and you can find that link in the show notes.

So trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom, trust your inner guidance.

You are going to be the very reason why you live your most loving, expressive, abundant, pleasure filled, blissful reality. And it's in this moment that you learned that no one is going to save you from yourself, but rather what an honor it is for you to become truly the love of your own life. And not in this, like, corny way, but to actually be one of the few people that goes through something really freaking challenging and doesn't make that their victim story, but rather makes it the very reason why they have fallen in love with themselves. You did that and you are going to be doing that more and more and more this year. Everything that you want is on the other side of this heartbreak. And the ultimate way for you to heal from this heartbreak is to become the version of yourself you could have never been without it. Because it's only through doing that that you will have immense gratitude for the heartbreak. Had I not become an artist and started producing and singing and rapping and performing music, you know, I would have healed from my heartbreak. But I wouldn't have been like, that was like, the best thing on planet Earth. And now I would say that was the best thing on planet Earth because I love who I've become. And not like the new music career is like the tip of the iceberg, but it's how much more empathy I have, how much more fun I am, how much sexier I am. Like, even my friends are all like, we loved you, but, like, you're a whole nother level. I feel like I'm on a whole other level. Like, I'm motherfucking vibe. And that would not have happened without my heartbreak. The gift of heartbreak is when you have felt what feels like your nightmare. You're no longer afraid of feeling anything. So then you're no longer like, what are people on the Internet going to say about me? You're like, I've experienced literal death and rebirth. So I don't give a fuck what people on the Internet say about me. It makes you really unfuck withable because the little things that bothered you so much don't bother you when you have dealt with something that's so much greater that these little trivial things, they just kind of come and go because now your container is so much larger for what you can hold, that these little, little things are like little pieces of sand in the immense mansion of containment that you can hold. You don't even see it. You don't even notice it. Like, I noticed, like, you know, I used to write books if, you know that I have four books. And before my books would come out, I would always be freaking out, like, oh, my God, what are people going to write on the reviews? They're not going to like it. Da da da. Now I'm like, I don't give a shit. You know? Like, I've never once thought, I wonder if people don't like it. I literally don't care because I like it. And that's the magnetism you get through heartbreak that you just stop caring and you start being like, hey, I'm gonna dress like my dream girl. I'm gonna step into my main character energy. I'm gonna move the place I would have never moved before. I'm going to put my things in storage and travel. I'm gonna take a risk on that thing that I would. I'm going to show up this way on social media that I felt like I couldn't have in the relationship. I'm going to make friends with people I wouldn't have been friends with before. I'm going to Say yes to new opportunities that I wouldn't have. Because, let's be real. When you're in a relationship, you get stuck in a rut. Most of the time, you know, you're not like, hey, stranger. Like, oh, going to Mexico this weekend? I'll roll with like. That just doesn't really happen when you're in a relationship. When you're single, the shit happens, you know, if you're open to it. So I decided to just go on a surrender experiment and just say yes to anything that felt exciting to me and say no to anything that didn't. And I felt really clear that that old version of me, that was just like, way more in, like, the spiritual space and the author space and, like, the coaching space. Like, I was like, she's dead. Bye. And instead, I wanted to be the living embodiment of art. So I shifted everything of how can I start to dress like this new version of myself? How can I start to wear jewelry? And these are all external things. But now internally, how can I create poetry from my pain rather than just writing about it? How can I now turn it into art, which turned into music, which turned into everything I do being an expression of who I am? You're seeing it all around you. So how can you now make this heartbreak the fuel for you to become your own living version of art? Because art is not just what you do. It's not about painting or even making music, but it's about how you show up in this world. Like, we can go down the conveyor belt of life of just like, okay, I'm supposed to do this, supposed to do that. This is what most people do. Go to school, meet someone, get married, get a job, have kids. You know, repeat Stepford Wives kind of life. And they wonder why they're not fulfilled. They wonder why they think life has to happen to them. Oh, I'm not like one of those lucky people who gets to travel. I'm not like one of those lucky people who gets to live their purpose. I'm not one of those, guess what, bitch? Neither was I. Neither was anyone doing that. No one was born into it. Unless your parents were Brad and Angelina. But even they went through their own path, right? So we think that we have to have been born into things or handed things when that's not the reality. In fact, oftentimes people, like, born into a lot of privilege have a hard time stepping into their full expression because they don't know how to, like, go out there and work for things. So oftentimes this Actually can be a disservice for them as well. You get to choose to make your life interesting or not. You know, interesting things may or may not happen to you, but you can choose right now to take something like your partner cheated on you, or you know, you're stepping away from a narcissistic relationship, or there just wasn't the same love there. Like something like that that doesn't necessarily have to be this like really creative story, but now it's what you do as a result. Because actually what happened to you is the least interesting part, but it's who you became. Because everyone on this planet experiences heartbreak at one time or another. But most people don't actually go into it. They don't actually feel it, they don't actually process it. And because they don't process it, they don't get the gems from it and they don't transform their lives as a result of it. So they end up suppressing it, fulfilling this void within themselves that that partner once held and then looking for another relationship to fill that void. I remember after my divorce, again, I'm a very relational being. So I was in a four year relationship before that, then a seven year relationship. So after the divorce I was like, oh my God, it felt like my arm was chopped off. It was like I didn't even really know how to be in this world out of relationship that it did feel like this massive void. But I knew that if I create another relationship from a place of void, how is that relationship going to manifest? So I sat in the void. I sat in those feelings of loneliness and trust me, I know how deep they can go. And I sat in them of, okay, right now I'm feeling lonely. What does that feel like? Okay, it feels like I want to be held. Why do I feel that? Well, feels like I'm not supported. Okay, what does it feel like to not feel supported? I feel alone. I feel like no one cares. Okay, what does it feel like to feel that no one cares? Feels like I'm insignificant, that I don't even exist. Okay, what does it feel like to not exist? Imagine you don't exist. Imagine there was no Sahara. Imagine you were just gone out of this planet and you didn't exist. Well, I mean, I think people would be sad for a while, but life would move on. And I realized that so much of my identity and who I thought I was was based on me giving to other people that I didn't even know who I was. If I was not giving, in fact, to the point that I felt like I don't exist. So underneath that feeling of loneliness, loneliness was the surface level of emotion of oh my God, I just want to be held. But underneath that, when I really sat with it and it only could come with me sitting with which I'll be guiding you through all of this in my new ultimate Healing Heartbreak course, which is available now. I'll be sharing with you more about it. You can find the link below. But until I got to the point bottom of that feeling, I didn't realize that it was tied into the fact that I didn't even believe I deserved to exist if I was not giving to someone through relationship. So this is the power of the work. Because then I realized, of course I deserve to exist. Of course the meaning of my life is not just to give, but it's also to receive. And it's also to just enjoy life as well. And from that place of doing deep healing work now the people I magnetize in my life are also whole. They add to me. We create together. And it's not coming from a place of I have this void. I need you to fill it up. But I love myself and I love my life and I love everything about and you love yours. And let's see what the stance can be like. And that's what I want to help you get to. It's what I have gone through in the past year and a half. If there's anything I know well, it's. It's the realms of heartbreak. Trust me, I have traversed these pathways deeply. I have like my PhD in heartbreak at this point. And this is why I've put it all together in my new ultimate Heartbreak Healing course. So this is a 33 day course with 33 daily videos that you do step by step into healing and releasing and creating art with your heartbreak. And it doesn't matter if this heartbreak is really new or maybe you're in an uncoupling right now, or it is a heartbreak that may have happened years ago, but you still haven't fully processed. It's still coming up. There are still memories, there's still questions and longing. Because the truth is, time by itself does not heal all. Because if time actually healed all, we wouldn't have trauma. So it being years away doesn't necessarily mean that it's healed. In fact, if we don't fully feel it, it just ends up in deeper and deeper layers of our being. So wherever you are on your heartbreak journey, whether it is through a divorce or just through a breakup, or even the Situationship and a ghosting. Sometimes those things can feel equally heartbreaking because we don't have that sense of closure, and we often still, like, fantasize around what it could have been. Trust me, I got you. So if you love this podcast, you're gonna love this course. It's daily videos with practices that I give you every single day, like writing poems, journal prompts, embodiment practices, meditations, and so much more. So you're not just learning in the mind around heartbreak, but you're actually releasing it from your cells and your tissues. It is the exact process I move myself through in my heartbreak, and it's why I am the sparkly version of myself on the other side. And what I love about teaching heartbreak is it doesn't have to be so heavy, you know, it doesn't have to be like, the science of heartbreak. Like, your body is basically, like, terminally ill. Like, no, that's repeating the victim story. And if anything, heartbreak has made me so much sexier. And I know it's gonna do the same for you. Like, this is gonna be the best thing that's ever happened for you. And I'm actually really excited. Like, I know it hurts and I know it sucks. Trust me, we will feel those feelings. But I'm really excited for you because all of the baddest bitches I know have gone through heartbreak, and it's that that turned them into that sparkly, dynamic, unfuckwithable versions of themselves. And not just the bad bitches, but also the bad boys, too. You're invited to the table as well. So this course has just launched this week, and it's available for a hundred dollars off with Code Flower. So for this week only, because doors have opened, you can use Code Flower for a hundred dollars off. And if you're listening to this later on in the future, you can use code podcast for $50 off. It's a super affordable course. I priced it really low to make sure everyone has access should they choose. But it's also really rich, embodied. You can do it every day for 33 days or do it every other days for 66 days, or however you desire to do the course. But I really recommend doing it until the end because you will have such incredible breakthroughs on the other side. So if you're interested, head over to the Show Notes, click the link for the ultimate Heartbreak Healing course. You will find that code available for you as well. And I'm so excited for you to unbreak your heart and become your sparkliest self. If anything, you're gonna make an album, you're gonna make a docu series, you're gonna write a book, you're gonna give a TED talk. You're gonna do something huge on the other side of this. Maybe you're gonna like go live in a homestead, in a farm. Maybe you're gonna meet the love of your life. Maybe you're gonna like get your dream job as a event planner. Like, who knows? I'm excited for you. The world needs it and it's all on the other side of really taking all of just this muck of heartbreak and letting that flower grow. So click the link below to join the ultimate heartbreak healing course and I am so excited to guide you inside. All right, I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you in the next episode. Namaste.

Trust your intuition Trust your inner wisdom Trust your inner guidance Close your eyes and listen so trust your intuition Trust your Trust you in the wisdom Trust you in the guidance.