558: Why Your Dark Night Of The Soul.. Makes You Sexier with Sahara Rose

If you've had a dark night of the soul, you know what I mean, Those on your knees moments, I want you to know your sexiest days are yet to come. I can't wait. This is for you. Look, nothing lasts forever except my swag. And you just saw a clip from my new music video for Sexy Dark night of the soul. Welcome back to the Highest Self podcast. My name is Sahara Rose, and on this podcast I love to take spirituality and make it fun, grounded, real relatable. Dare I say sexy? Because the truth is, that's what your dark night of the soul does. So in this conversation, I want to talk about what is a dark night of the soul and how it's actually the best thing that could ever happen to you. So let's start with my dark night of the soul. Because you may be wondering, why would you make a song called Sexy dark night of the soul? Well, if you're new here on the podcast podcast, let me tell you a little song. Almost two years ago now, it was crazy. The end of 2022, I found out that my then husband had been cheating on me. And it was the biggest dark night of the soul I had ever experienced. I found out literally was woken up in my sleep to his confession. And it sent me into an abyss that I never knew I would see my way on the other side of. And it was really the tipping point for this giant metamorphosis that occurred. But that metamorphosis didn't instantly turn into me being a butterfly, but it went into me going into the deepest, darkest cocoon of my entire life. So a dark night of the soul is a moment like that, an on your knees moment where there is a line in the sand, a before and after, where you will never be the same. On the other side. It could be finding out about infidelity. It could be a health crisis, scare, a death in your family, getting fired from your job, a move, all sorts of things that wake you up into either choosing staying in this life of suffering or going into moments of could feel like actually deeper suffering into the potentiality for a greater higher good. So when I found out that information, I didn't even know where to start. I didn't know where I was going to live, what I was going to do, let alone how to file for a divorce. I did not see it coming. We were not fighting, we were not in a toxic relationship. Everything was actually fine. My life was good. But God said we have something better. And I just knew in that moment I trusted that if God Was taking away this thing from me. It was because there was something so much greater on the other side, and I had no idea what it would be. But that was the story I decided to tell myself. And so into the abyss I went, and it got dark and it got deep. I sat with questions I never really asked myself my entire life. You know, starting with, of course, my beliefs on marriage. You know, I always thought marriage was eternal stability and safety. That when you walk down that aisle and you say, I do that, you mean those vows that you say. And I was brought into all of the ways that humans, we lie, lie to ourselves and then to others. The shame that may be underneath these lies and the ripple effects that that shame and that trauma has, not just in our. Our lives, but intergenerationally, because it never starts with us. And so I start to dive deeper into my childhood and into all of the ways that my father was emotionally unavailable towards me all those times when I was a little girl, and I just so deeply wanted his attention, but he was always working, always. And, you know, my dad would have a really snappy temper, and he would just all of a sudden get really angry and cause a scene. And when he would do that as a child, I would feel so helpless. And I would go into my room and I would just like, I hate him, I hate him. And every time I did that, it was like a black tar covering my heart. So I had to come face to face with that black tar and how that black tar was causing me to not be able to fully feel myself, thus not be able to fully feel another. It brought me even deeper into my dad's childhood and how he never had a loving family, let alone father. And how he became the way that he became and really was doing the best that he could with the limited knowledge and love that he received. And even deeper into my grandparents forced child marriage that my grandmother was in when she was 11 years old. And deeper into that, into the generations of trauma, Generations of the woman's womb being used as a commodity. She is used for impregnation, to pass on the seed so the man, the patriarchal lineage can continue. And the ways that she has been ignored, suppressed, abandoned, taken advantage of, and of course, cheated on, wasn't even expected to be monogamous. Especially in Middle Eastern cultures, Having multiple wives has literally happened throughout generations of my family. But also how all of the ways the men were also turned into something that they were not. All of the ways that they were forced to assert their power in these ways, the Power dynamics, the structure, the war consciousness, how out of touch they were forced to become with their hearts. And looking at the ways that the war that my parents escaped from, the Iran Iraq War in 1980, affected war consciousness within my family, within myself, all of the ways that I had, all of the things that I did not like from the other, all of the ways that the patriarchy lived in me, all of the ways that, all of the things that I disliked about the other. And going deeper into doing shadow work. What is shadow work? It's to look at the things that you hate of other people and see how they're living within yourself. Because we can only heal it when we integrate it. So you can see how my dark night of the soul, that moment of founding out I was being cheated on, led to me doing the deepest healing work that I would have never done without this experience. And I knew then, I promised myself that I will not become one of those women who become bitter and pessimistic and close their hearts because of this. But this will be the very reason why I am more loving, why I am more open hearted, why I experience greater love and intimacy and romance than ever before. And today I am, almost two years later, a living embodiment of that. I feel so much love on a daily basis. I just got my second dog and just surrounded by so much deep, profound love. Love with every single person I interact with. My heart has been blasted open. And every single day I give thanks to the darkness. I give thanks to the void. I give thanks to the unknown. I give thanks to the many, many months I woke up and was courageous enough to cry and emote and embody and express, which later became my triple E method. Emote, embody and express. When I say that, I mean, I would wake up and just cry. Some days, you know when you wake up and you remember your new reality and you're like, oh, now I'm single. Oh shit, now I lost this thing. And it hits you like bricks. It's almost like that 50 First Dates movie. You have to like remind yourself of the new reality. But instead of going into a pity party, I would move that energy and I would start to literally move my body and dance and tap and open my heart and womb and connect. And I would move that energy and I would embody what I desire to experience, desiring to feel held, desiring to feel supported, desiring to feel in alignment, in trust, in faith. And I would embody that energy in my body. What does it feel like to feel completely held by earth? What does it feel like to literally open my heart to love? What does it feel like to embody joy regardless of what's happening in my life? And thus I began to express. So it started with poetry. I would write poems around how I would feel. And then because I love music so much, I was like, I want to learn music production. So I started to learn how to produce music. I would go on YouTube tutorials and how to make beats and get samples and start putting them together. I love afrobeats music. I love hip hop, I love reggaeton, love dance hall music. And I'm like, I want to make that. But with like lyrics you feel good about getting stuck in your head that, like, I want to have in my subconscious, but like dope ass motherfucking beasts, you know what I mean? So I'm like, I need. I need to. I need to put this together. Especially when you're going through a dark, knighted soul, you can't read a book. Like, let's be real. Like, you can't read. You're not like sitting and like reading at carte toll. You're in it. You're punching pillows and shit, you know. So I just started to create the music I wish I had. And it started with. With my song Trust Flow that has like literally gone viral. It's played in radio stations in Africa now. And that really is the archetyp surrender. And I have music videos for each one. And you can see in the music video. I'll link that music video as well below. But you can see it's me alone last summer on the beach in Portugal and just literally surrendering to the flow of life again. Not knowing where I was gonna live, what was gonna happen, what was on the other side of this. But the mantra I would tell myself when I was going through anxious bouts was trust, flow, surrender, let go Trust, flow, surrender, let go Trust, flow, flow, surrender, let go. I'm the one I have been waiting for. Thus it became the song. So I continued on on that journey, creating my song, Be the vibe and releasing my album My Body is an Altar and coming up with 12 songs. And I will link that album below. It's on Spotify and wherever you listen to music, creating beautiful music videos. My Body is an altar video is really the embodiment of the sensual side of the feminine who really owns herself and sees herself as a sacred site that will only be treat it as such. I'll also link the podcast I did below sharing the story behind that song and how is the affirmation I Told myself of I will never be treated with disrespect because I am a sacred site. Do you see yourself one day starting a podcast, writing books, speaking on stages, sharing your message with the world? But the thing is you are afraid that you're not a good enough speaker yet. Maybe you're inspired by people like me and Gabby Bernstein and you know you have it within yourself too, but you just don't know where to start. Well, I have gotten this question so many times and this is why I've created my speak with soul 21 day method. This guides you from awkward to confident speaker in just three weeks time. I guide you through daily prompts, practices and share all of the wisdom that I have learned as a professional soul speaker, podcaster, author, and someone who literally makes a living sharing my voice as well as through music and how you can too, in your own unique way. So the testimonials from Speak with Soul are insane. I have seen people literally be hired to host their own radio shows. Hundreds of people start their own podcasts, create YouTube channels, IG Live series, get book deals, the list goes on. So whether you want to promote professionally, share your voice, or just get better in conversation and connection and just feel more confident in what you say and not feel like you're so in your head and release any fears or hesitations you have around the way that your voice sounds and its pitch, well, this course covers all of it. So it's just 10 minute daily videos for 21 days that I promise you, if you follow this process, you will be a completely other person on the other side. Because truth is, when is the last time you spent any time on your speaking? For most of us it was like maybe a awkward speech in high school and we never touched it again. So speaking is the way that we communicate with the world. It's the most important thing we can do. It's the way that we get our message across. And I know if you're listening to this podcast, you have a really important message to share because regular people don't listen to this podcast. So if you're feeling the call, come join me in Speak with Soul. I have a special 25 off discount for you listed below. So head over to the Show Notes or over to speak with soul course.com that's speakwithsoulcourse.com to receive the 25 off right now. You can also find that link in the Show Notes. I'm so excited to hopefully be on your podcast. And so continuing along on my journey, there was this Archetype of energy that I had never really fully accessed within myself again. I was in relationship, like, my whole life, and it wasn't until this divorce and really going deep into the pain and the heartbreak and the anger that I started to. In that dark night of the soul energies, find the gems in it. And this is the energy of Goddess Kali Ma. She is a Vedic, a Hindu goddess from India. And if you've ever seen her, she is blue and she has a skull garland around her neck, and her tongue is out. Like you may hear in yoga classes they do Kali breath. And she is that energy of feminine liberation. She don't give a fuck. She's like, you come my way, I'll cut you. She literally has a sword and a guy's skull bleeding on her head. Plus she's got her foot on top of another guy that she's, like, standing on top of. Like, she real baddie, you know? And she is sacred and incredible and fierce and powerful. And she is the aspect of the feminine that awakens when our boundaries are crossed, when someone takes advantage of us, when someone thinks because we're nice, we're an innocent little maiden, and we're like, oh, you little bitch, I'm about to show you. And that energy got woken up in me. She was wild, and she is carefree. And that energy, I mean, it even shifted. Like the music I listened to and colors I was attracted to. And, you know, I was always very afraid of the darkness. Like, I am naturally a very sunny and light person. I'm really great with the rainbow realm. Fairies, mermaids, dolphins. That's my jam. Like, I. I do live in Lemuria. However. Oh, God. Going into that underworld, I was like, oh, yes, I am Slytherin, indeed. The snake realm. That realm of that. That Shakti energy. And the darkness is actually the home of the feminine. If you think about the energy of the darkness, the darkness is the womb. The womb is where all life comes from. All life is. Is from the darkness of the literal void within us. The word Kal, where Kali comes from is darkness, but it's also truth. So think of that. In the darkness, you find your truth. Look at space. Complete darkness, complete void. And within it, one star, one big bang, the creation of the entire universe. It is from the darkness that all light emerges from. You cannot have light without the dark. If you think about the soil, the soil is the darkness. It's the fertile essence of earth. It's who she is. Earth is soil, and within it there are little seeds. And when we Water them. And the light is just right. They turn into the most magnificent trees. So all creation comes from the dark. We fear the dark. We're like, please, I don't want to have a dark night of the soul. I don't want my heart to get broken. I don't want to be sad. I don't want to cry. I don't have it in me anymore. But if you go back and you look at all of the most massive transformations of your life, I want you to literally think about it right now. The times in your life that you moved. The times in your life that you stepped into a new chapter, a new job, a new relationship, a new way of being. It was always after the storm. It's the storm that shakes shit up for you to even clear the pathway enough for the rainbow to emerge. You cannot have a rainbow without the storm. Rainbows come in those brief moments of time, the clarity that comes after the storm. We all want to be in rainbows all the time. We don't see them all the time. There's a reason for that. It's going into the eye of the storm. And you don't need to chase a storm. They'll find you. But when those storms of life find you, the heartbreak, the health problems, the deaths, embrace them with open arms, because within them, you become more alive. The greatest gifts I have ever experienced have come from the darkness. My ability to be here today with you, speaking on this would not have been possible without that dark night of the soul. And the other dark nights of the soul I've had before that. My parents disowning me, going through massive health issues in my early 20s, doctors telling me that I may never be able to have children. Healing that through Ayurveda, being broke, living in India in a hut with rats in it, other heartbreaks, like, I mean, the list goes on. I've danced with the dark. But it wasn't until this that I, like, I was like, yo, dark, we got a secret handshake now. Like, I am no longer afraid of hell because I'm like, oh, hell is just heaven inverted. Hell is not this bad place that we go when we're bad. It's a state of consciousness when you fight it. When you fight the state of hell that you are in, you actually become in hell. But when you embrace it with open arms, you say, this feels like my living nightmare right now that I am in. I literally can't imagine a different nightmare, and I'm in it right now. So I'm just gonna let the waves wash over me, and you become an open vessel to just feel. Not to problem solve, not to figure your way out, just to feel, to cry those tears that likely you've never cried in your entire life. And this situation was the little tip of the iceberg that you needed to allow the decades of tears that you held back. And I realized that in my own dark night in the soul that this manifestation of the divorce needed to happen because it allowed me to feel all the feelings I never did my entire childhood. And for them to literally be purged and cleared from my energy field. And every single time I would have a release, it always invited in spaciousness for more light, for more joy, for more love. In fact, it's impossible to not have that on the other side if you open yourself up to truly feeling. And another beautiful gift of a dark night of the soul is it makes you sexier. Yes, I said it. You can quote me on it. A dark night of the soul makes you sexier. So let's talk about why. First of all, sexy is a state of consciousness. Sexy has nothing to do with, like, what your body, like, physically looks like due to, like, Western beauty standards. It actually has to do with your vibe, how you operate, how you speak, how you move, how you show up in the world. People can feel your energy of sexiness. They feel it in your eye contact. They feel it in the way that you speak. They feel it in the subtleties of your body. Sexy is a state of consciousness. Sexy means. Yeah, I know. I love myself. Sexy is. I'm not afraid of my power. Sexy is, Yeah, I know. I got it. And I get to choose with whom I share it with. Sexy is. I am worth it. Sexy is fun. It's spontaneous. It's letting your hair down and not being so caught up in what people think about you. You know, there are many beautiful women and men around the world, but they're not all sexy. And sometimes the most beautiful models in the world are the least sexy. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Because they're. It's like, you know when you see someone and they're like, they look incredible based on beauty standards, but they're so insecure, you know, like, they're covering their bellies and they're. They're kind of making themselves small and they're covering their shoulders. They're making themselves look. Look small and. And they can't make eye contact with you, and they're kind of looking down and they're not present. You could feel they're in their head and they look like supermodels, but their energy super not sexy. And then there are people who, you know, they may be overweight according to our standards. They may be too skinny, they may have frizzy hair, they might be bald, they might be old, they might be whatever the thing is, hairy legs and armpits and blemishes and whatever the thing society tells us is, oh, you must cover yourself up if you look like that. And they are some of the motherfucking sexiest people on this planet because they are hot and unbothered. They are letting it all hang out, but with ease and grace. They love themselves, they adore themselves, they cherish themselves and they're inviting us in a little taste of their own experience. It's their party, we get to watch them in it and that is sexy. They are magnetic, they are in their juju, they are having fun and we just love being around them, you know, like, have you ever been to a strip club before? I don't like the strip club, to be honest. I think it's quite traumatic place to be real. However, you will notice that the dancers that you are drawn to are the ones who look like they are having fun when they are having fun. And they are so in their bodies and they are so in themselves. You are drawn to that energy. You are like, like, damn, like I want to feel like that. And it's mesmerizing. But the one that she might have the perfect dance moves and pointed toes and splits and all the things, but she looks like this is a job and she can't wait to be off and she can't make eye contact and she really doesn't want to be there. It's like heartbreaking to watch. It's like it makes you like rethink your whole life, kind of making you feel that way. It's like giving, making you rethink your entire life. Like not, definitely not the sexy vibe that we want. We kind of want to save her, so we don't want to have that. We're so caught up in things looking perfect, but it's actually that perfection that's quite unsexy. So sexy is that state of self love, that state of consciousness. Owning your sexuality, owning your sensuality, owning your creative life force. Knowing your sacral chakra wisdom. The sacral chakra is the second chakra in the seven chakra system that is in charge of creativity, abundance, pleasure. So when you are in your sensuality, you naturally are creative. You're naturally coming up with ideas and also, you are tuning into your highest form of abundance, so you naturally are able to create the ideal amount of wealth because you are being you. And that is extremely magnetic and irreplaceable. So the dark night of the soul, now how does it make us more sexy? Like, we want sexy, Dark night of the soul. It sounds pretty sad. Like, how are they connected? So I found in my dark side of the soul that something happens where it's like this, like, baseball bat comes into your energetic hands and you're just like. And you just shatter all of the labels, all of the stories, all of the expectations, all of the roles that you played, all of the things that you thought you needed to be. And you're like that. Like, no, I'm out because I did all those things and I'm feeling like this. So, no, I don't want your number. No, I don't want to give you money. No, I mean, like, look at me. It's a spiritual podcast, and we just went to no Scrubs because why not? Like, we're having fun here. So you stop giving a fuck. You know, when I started this podcast and started becoming a spiritual teacher, my first book came out in 2017, and that's when this podcast was launched. I was not rapping in the middle of this, and I definitely was not releasing music videos called Sexy Dark Night of the Soul. But through the dark nights of the soul, I just stopped caring. I'm like, you know what? We all experience pain. We all experience hardship. So I'm going to choose to make the moments of light even brighter. I'm going to choose to wear the thing that I want to wear. I'm going to choose to show up how I want to show up. I'm going to choose to sing, dance, rap, create, express, say the thing on my mind and not give a fuck. And the people who are offended by it. Thank you. Bye. Bye. You're not meant to be in my field because I got pinatas in my party, and I only want to share my pinata candy with those who are motherfucking with it, you know? So it changes your vibration. It changes the crew that you're around. It changes everything. And you actually want that shit. You want to be so radiantly yourself that the people who are not radiantly themselves, they just, like, they, like, can't handle. And if they can't handle, it's like, thank you. Love ya, Bless ya. Peace. We don't need that in our field. So your dark night of your soul, it causes you to break Those rules. Break those boundaries. Break the ways that you thought, I need to speak like this, I need to dress like this, I need to behave like this in order for me to feel loved, validated, accepted, approved. And it's like, fuck that shit. We don't want to do it. No mo. Because it's boring. It's keeping us in stones. And you just stop caring. And it's just like, all of a sudden, you're showing up with humanity. You have so much more empathy for others, empathy for yourselves. Your heart is open. And when your heart is open, you're not trying to win love anymore, because you realize you are love. And I remember in my, like, deep in my dark night of the soul a year and a half ago, there were some days I felt like, shit, guys. Like, I felt so shitty. I was just, like, crying, you know, hot, hot mess. Doing my embodiment practice. And I was, like, wiping the tears away. And then I'm like, let me wear a cute outfit. And sometimes just wearing that cute outfit, it was like, this is what I have going for me today. And I was like, damn, I feel better now. Like, this is really cute. And, like, I wouldn't have worn this before, and now I'm gonna wear it. And that brought me on a journey. I was like, before. I was like, oh, I don't want to get tattoos now. I have, like, tattoos, like, all over. Butterfly, snake, hieroglyphics on my back, Dharma. I just love them. And again, before growing up, Persian, it's like, oh, tattoos, haram. You must not. Now I'm like, I love it. I'm art. Guess what? I'm going to die. So I'm going to adore my body the way that I desire. And so you just stop caring about these things so much. I definitely was not wearing black lipstick before, but what do you guys think? Is it a vibe or is it a vibe? I think it's a vibe. I show up on first date like this, and it's just so much more fun when you are yourself. So when I would feel like shit, I would wear the outfit. Then all of a sudden, I would, like, embody that energy. I would, like, embody that energy of this motorcycle girl who was, like, driving around Tokyo and. And she was, like, on an adventure. She was like, Carmen Sandiego. And I'm like, damn. Like, yeah, that's me. Like, I'm taking on that Persona. So I started getting really into. Into the moto look. And you'll see that in the music video clip. I was the stylist for the whole thing. Thank you very much. But I did all these, like, sick ass moto looks, which, again, I never dressed that way before. And now I'm like, I'm just gonna have so much more fun with my style. I'm gonna wear things that are out of the box. Like, wear things that, like, there's no, like, reason to wear it. It's not maybe the most, like, comfy organic cotton thing, but, like, I feel like a moto bad bitch flying around Tokyo. So that's enough of a reason for me. And just playing with that energy, playing with that archetype Kalima coming full alive. And that led to my music creation getting even better because I was, like, not afraid to say things. And I mean, y' all will hear me in these rap flows. The songs, all me, three verses, the chorus. I. I just want to play it for you. Oh, listen, I've been talking about a lot. So let's just take a little 30 second right here and play a little bit more of the music video because I'm so excited because it just launch. So let's play that clip right now. Had a ball. Okay. Okay. What did you think? Kind of obsessed. So let's. Let's talk about some of the themes going on here, because as you know, everything I do has a lot of intentionality and art behind it. So this archetype is my inner bad bitch. It's my inner dark night of the soul, my Kali Ma energy, my I don't give a. And she is really the embodiment of that and that chapter of my life. I love to, you know, after going through really big initiations, create a piece of art that can live on from it. So, you know, and I've actually subconsciously been doing this my entire life. So I went through health challenges, brought me to Ayurveda, wrote Idiot's Guide to Ayurveda, went through my food journey, culinary school, learning all these recipes Ayurveda made modern, Wrote eat feel fresh. Discovered my Dharma, learned how to tune into my purpose, wrote discover your Dharma, created, you know, a divine feminine community. Rose gold Goddesses, Dharma Coaching Institute, Highest health institute. It's like everything I learn, I, like, create something with. And it really gives me, like, a greater reason. So when I, you know, was going through the depths of this infidelity and just being so disappointed, so sad, so heartbroken, so feeling just, like, gaslit, the only thing that would pull me through is knowing that one day this story will be able to help other people and even if it's just for that, even if it's like, and she never finds love again and that was it. But, like, her story helped people. At least. At least I could do that for you guys. Because you're listening to this podcast, I'm gonna make a quick assumption about you. Your friends come to you for advice whenever you're at a party. Someone corners you at the side of the snack table and starts telling you all of their childhood traumas. And you actually love diving deep into spiritual topics. And you have a really good way of communicating with people. So the best way to actually create a career doing this is through coaching. But I know a lot of people, they're like, I don't even know where to start. I don't even know what type of coach I would be. So I've created a quick, easy quiz to discover your unique coaching style. So there are three categories. The intuitive, transformational, or empathetic coach. So the intuitive one really works with your intuition. You're able to receive downloads. You just have insights about people. The transformational one has more of that fire energy. You love to keep it real and help people go through the deepest phoenix, rising from the ashes moments in their lives. And the empathetic coach really loves to listen, hold space. They're very grounded, nurturing. So if you're curious which type you are, you can try my free quiz@quiz.Highestself institute.com Again, that's Quiz Highest Self Institute, which is my school that certifies spiritual life coaches. And you can find that link in the show notes. I'm super excited to see what type of coach you are because I'mma hire you one day. So trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom, trust you inner guidance. And that would really pull me through, you know, just being like, okay, guess this is another shitty part of my memoir. Got to keep it spicy so y' all stay engaged. And I'm like, you know what? Here's another gift from it. It's. It's given me more empathy, it's given me more range. It's allowed me to feel more alive. So have you felt that too, after your dark nights of the soul or when you're in it, at least knowing that maybe you can help someone else with it? Did you ever feel more connected with other people? Did you ever feel like you just had so much more empathy, so much more range, so much more aliveness? And what's cool is when you reach those layers of dark that you've never been, you know, those feelings of like, anger and Sadness and shame and guilt that you've never touched upon before. What naturally happens on the other side is you experience so much greater love and joy and freedom. Oh, my goddess. When I went to Trinidad after that, it was a few months after my first Trini Carnival was something I've always wanted to do my entire life. Going there, seeing people in the costumes, winding their body up, wearing mine. I had never danced on the street in a motherfucking thong before. That shit is freeing. And I was like, okay, if this all happened for me to be here right now, I guess this is enough. And she lived happily ever after in Trinidad. Wouldn't be a bad story. Maybe it'll happen. So it's like greater forms of liberation on the other side, you know, because I was out of this cage, this self imposed cage, and I feel that's the gift of the dark night of the soul. It's always there to serve you. It's always there to take you to higher forms of freedom that you would have never chosen for yourself. So I want you to think about your dark night of the soul. That big, like catastrophic or seemed catastrophic thing that happened. The health scare, the injury, the accident, the heartbreak, the job, firing, the death, whatever that thing was. And already from where you are now, how is it one of the greatest blessings of your life if you can't think of it like, I want you to press pause and really journal on this. And I know you might be like, sorry, your spiritual bypassing, please. No, it was really traumatic. Trust me, I know trauma. I teach trauma for a living. And what I will tell you is I have a very different belief on trauma than most of these people you're going to see on YouTube. Oh my God. Last night, some, some video on YouTube came. It was this like, older lady therapist. And it's like, people ask questions. And this lady, this girl was like, I was adopted. And you know, I've had really bad relationships and like, what do you think's going on? And the lady was just like, well, of course you have really bad relationships. You're gonna struggle with really bad relationships your entire life because you were adopted. And not at one month, but at eight months. Oh God, it's irreversible damage at this point. And I was just like, what in the is she saying? Because it's like, what is the story we're telling ourselves? That story that she is, is perpetrating right now is a story of victimhood. And what is that doing to the poor girl who sent that question so vulnerably it's telling her you're not fixable, that you will never have a healthy relationship because of something that was out of your control. And that shit is so fucked up to say, oh, because you experience trauma, you will never have love because you didn't grow up with parents in a loving relationship. You'll never have a loving relationship because you were cheated on. Well, you're gonna forever have trust issues. That's the shit we're saying. You too, for real. Because that keeps us looped up in the victim story. And guess what happens when we stay looped up in that. You keep manifesting it. I remember one of the first books I read after the Infidelity, I like looked on audible. Of course. I decided to read a book. First thing, you could just see where I was at in my consciousness. Then I was like, okay, must learn how to fix the heartbreak of cheating. And it was like, I'm not even saying the book's name. It was some stupid ass book. It was like, find a cheater and save your life. And the whole thing was like, oh God, you are doomed. You have ptsd. In fact, it's worse than ptsd. It's post betrayal trauma complex disorder and you're just not gonna even know what's real anymore. And levels of gaslight you have, it's going to take forever to unwind. And whoever did that to you is a sociopath and a narcissist and dangerous and you know, got to check your bank account so they're probably stealing all your money and check everything and your life is doomed and good luck to you. That was the book. Not a great book for like your first read right after that kind of thing. And even then I knew I'm not taking the story on. I am not going to make this thing that was like completely out of my control. The thing that makes me now not have the thing that I want most in life. Love. Why would I now decide I am set out for, doomed for endless heartbreak and suffering forever because of something that happened. If anything, this is going to be the reason why I do the deepest excavation work of my life related to love, to on the other side have the deepest love I have ever experienced. And true, not role playing love. I'm husband, your wife. You come home at 6, I make dinner, we watch movies, go to sleep, repeat rinse list goes on until eventually an affair happens. That's the paradigm most people are on. It ain't working, if you haven't noticed, it's not working. But if we go into Our dark nights of the soul, we use them to make ourselves sexier, more alive, more in our hearts, more in our joys, more in our presence, more in our truth, not afraid of our shadows. You know, one of the things I say in my rap is my shadows made me sexy. Plus they gave me some more ass. And what that really means is your shadows, those parts of yourself that come from the wounds, they are the way they make you sexy and they give you more ass, like more booty, more twerk, more bounce, even twerk, It's a state of consciousness. It's a state of being open and releasing in your body and being free. And by the way, it's just how people have danced in foreign cultures around the world, African culture. If you look at many tribes, it is gyrating of the hips in the exact position that we call twerk. And now is this like horrific thing you must never do. It's just African dance from the Moqoba tribe, specifically practiced all over, specifically the Congo. There's some dance sociology for you. Belly dance comes from, I mean, all around the Middle east, specifically in Egyptian cabaret style dance, we'll see the gyrations in the shimmy. If you actually look at all forms of dancing, bachata dancing in La Republica Dominicana, like Cualquer, there's always going to be gyration of the hips, there's always going to be movement and expression because that is actually the feminine form of spirituality. The feminine path to spirituality is through our dance. It's through moving our bodies, it's through coming alive and patriarchy, which has been really conditioned in our minds from religion. And I'm not saying that's how the religions started, but it's definitely how they've ended up right now due to the past 2000 years of rewriting all of the books. And it's not originally what Jesus or Muhammad or any of those people said, but it's been used for control. And what is the quickest way to control feminine power is to tell her that the very things that put her in her power are going to keep her from love. If you show up in your wild, liberated feminine essence, which is the truth of who you are, you will never be married, you will never be accepted, you will live alone and you will suffer. And that is the story they told us time in and again, and in and out, in and out. The story of Eve, it's made us afraid of the feminines. Not even the truth. We go back to the truth. Yeshua and Mary Magdalene were A tantric couple that healed the world through their love and their divine union. But then what? They rewrote her as a whore. So this is how deep it runs. The Madonna whore complex has been imposed in all of our consciousnesses that you're either the Madonna, the virgin, the wife, she who is loved but could never be fucked, or you are the whore, the slut, Lilith, Eve, she who can be fucked but never loved. So it's one or the other. So then what happens? And this consciousness is very, very active amongst. Because we women, we can feel we have both sides of ourselves. We have that side of ourselves that's like nurturing and loving and soft and loves our children, loves our animals and loves our plants, and is just like so full of light and joy. But we've also got that snake energy, that jaguar energy, that underworld energy. And she's a force to be reckoned with. But we're taught if we want to be respected, we want to be loved and cherished. Cut yourself off from that. And the men are taught if women exhibit any traits of that, oh, she must be a slut. But then what happens is they marry the woman who they see as the Madonna, but then they cheat with the one who they see as the slut and creates this split in their consciousness where she can only be one or the other. But I'm caught because I deeply desire both. Because deep in the masculine consciousness is the knowing that the feminine is both. She is both sacred and sexual. It's the split due to religion that has caused both of us to divorce ourselves from the side of ourselves. Even men who suppressing that side of themselves that is animalistic, because they're afraid of their power. Because society has told them a man and his power is dangerous. So sit down, be quiet, don't, don't be loud. And so men are so suppressed. They're hunters, they're warriors. We need men in that power. It's hot for men to be in their power. We need. We're craving that shit, us as women. That's why women want the bad boys. Why do women want the bad boys? It's not the bad boy you want. It's the wild man that you want. It's the warrior that can protect you, that cares for you, that would never hurt you. But if someone hurt you, they'll definitely hurt them. You know, he doesn't want to kill, but he could if he needed to. It's that energy, woman. We are craving that as well. But men have been split. We have all been hand sanitized. Suit, polished up, Stepford wives. And neither of us want to play these roles anymore. So through your dark night of the soul, you can integrate. Because I'm going to assume a lot of us in spirituality, myself included, we're really great with the light. The light is like, that's our hood. Like we know what's up sup fairies? But the darkness, we've often suppressed that. And there's definitely the shadow work bitches out there and shout out to you, like, big respect, you know, and maybe the light is where you have a harder time accessing. So first I'm gonna speak to the people who have a harder time accessing their dark nights of the soul. You know, there were definitely times that I would be crying and I would be like, is this ever gonna end? Is there ever going to be a day that I stop crying? Because I can't imagine it. It felt like the tears were endless. And so sometimes I wouldn't even wanna go there, which is like, oh God, this thought's coming up again. I don't even, I don't even have a energy to go there. Like I can't because once I start crying, I won't stop. But I knew that one day, eventually the tears would dry up and to just feel them when they were there. But not just to like sit and cry and have a pity party, but again to move them through my body, through my triple E method. So I'm going to link below my daily embodiment practice absolutely for free that you can do to have an experience of my method. It's a 10 minute daily embodiment practice you can do. I also do teach this method now at Highest Self Institute, my school, so you can learn how to become an embodiment coach and not only do this method on yourself for your own healing, but create a career for yourself as a certified embodiment coach. Three months, we dive deep. Month one emote. Month two embody. Month three express. So you learn how to use this method on releasing anything that you're holding onto, whether you're in your dark night of the soul. Right now there's three months ago, seven years ago, when we don't actually go in and do that deep healing work, we stay stuck at that vibration. And that's when you start to notice the patterns. I keep attracting the same kind of guy. I keep, you know, getting stuck in the same situation. That's because you didn't go into the dark night of the soil. You were like trying to skirt around it because you were afraid of the tears never stopping. When you use the method and you go into the tears and you move them through your body, they become the greatest gifts of your life. Life. Oh my God. It's like you find out things about yourself that you would have never experienced before and after. Every single time. I would be like, thank Goddess I sat with myself in this practice today because I would have never cleared that and I would have been holding onto that in my body and I would have been manifesting from that place. So if I felt like disgust from his actions, I would literally do the method on disgust. Emote, embody and express. Ugh, Disgust embodied. What's disgust like in my body? Express, clear it from my field. And I would literally purge it out of my energy body that now I no longer hold any disgust in me. In fact, I feel great compassion for people who, you know, are unable to control their sexual impulses because I know that's coming from deep seated shame and trauma as well. But until I was able to purge the distance disgust, I held judgment around it. And as long as I held judgment around it, there was a separation between me and that I am not that. That is ew. That is beneath me. That is disgusting. But then how I feel in my body is contraction. How I feel in my body separation. I don't want to feel like that. So it was only through releasing it, doing the method on disgust, on anger, on rage, you know, punching my pillows, screaming into them, screaming in my car like, you know that Jasmine Sullivan song, I bust the windows out your car. And though it didn't break my broken heart I'll probably always have these ugly scars. But right now I'm not thinking about that far. When I was in Peru, I was like, in the Sacred Valley. It was like post medicine. And I was like, ah. And that song just came through. It's like that's that feminine rage right there. You know, I was 11 years old when it came out. Never even kissed someone, had a little one, had a boyfriend who cheated on me, but I felt her in that moment, you know, and that's that universal feminine rage that is like in us, you know, we're raging for all of our ancestors who couldn't. All of our ancestors who were cheated on, all of our ancestors who were abused, all of our ancestors who had alcoholic husbands and had to raise kids on their own and were disrespected and used as a commodity, we are raging for all of them. All of the times they have been silenced and muffled and oppressed. We are their voices. So the reason why it might feel like I feel like I am more angry or more sad than even the situation is because you're actually doing energy clearing work for all the generations before you, who could not. Who literally think about your grandmother. Could she do a rage ritual? Would it have been safe for her to do a rage ritual? No, she's just take care of children and cook and clean and be there for everyone else. She probably didn't even have the luxury to feel her emotions. You know, it was funny because two of my friends and I were like, talking about our grandmothers, and, you know, they were talking about how, like, in. They were both Latina, and they were talking about how in Latina culture, like, their parents would be like, oh, your grandmother's gonna take care of that. Your grandmother's gonna cook, your grandmother's gonna clean, your grandmother this. And I was like, damn, like, that's kind of messed up. And they were both like, no, our grandmothers just love doing it. I'm like, I know my grandmother loves doing it too. But why do you think all of our grandmothers happen to just love cooking and cleaning for us all the time until the day that they die? Like, why do you think they all just happen to love that? We started laughing because it's the conditioning. Yes, they love it because they were conditioned that that was their only inherent value. They could not create, they could not dance, they could not sing, they could not write poetry. They could not live their own expressions. These are just our grandparents, parents. A lot of them are still alive. Look at how far we've come. So, of course, if just in two generations we've quantum leaped into this reality, we're still going to have to release some of these emotions and these energies that were never cleared. Because emotions that are not cleared intergenerationally, they just get passed down. And now we can see this with the science of epigenetics, that the trauma that your grandparents experience actually shifts your genealogy. So your DNA actually shifts because of trauma inherited. And again, that does not mean that you are doomed. In fact, from those traumas come your greatest superpowers. Come your greatest gifts. Come your greatest skills. You know, one of my grandfathers was an incredible businessman. And I inherited. I never met him, but I know I've inherited his genes that are able to, you know, be great with business and building things and thinking big picture. And I thank my grandfather for that. Then my other grandmother, she was really spunky and definitely very sexy and funny. And we just speak her mind, her truth. She was so Sassy. And I definitely inherited that. And then my other grandfather on my mother's side, he was very poetic. He was a philosopher. He was a questioner of life. He was like Krishna, like, incarnated, just so wise, so deep, like a Buddha. I don't know if I incarnated all of that, but I got a little summon of that. That's why we brought me here to this podcast. And then my other grandmother, she loves psychology, she loves cooking, she loves nurturing, she loves animals, she loves providing. Like, she's just like such a mama bear. And I love that, too. So I got all these gifts from my grandparents. So I also want you to do inventory and if you've never met them, learn about them. What did you get from your grandmother? Your grandfather on your father's side, your grandmother, your grandmother, your grandfather on your mother's side. And then, yes, what were also the traumas passed down and the real shadow work of the snake coming back and eating itself again. If you ever seen a depiction of a snake coming full circle and it comes back and it eats its own tail is when you can see that without the traumas, you would never have the gifts. And that's honestly what this song and this music video are about. That my dark night of the soul made me sexier. It made me more free, it made me more open. It made me more in the vibration of love than I've ever been in my entire life. And so I thank the darkness every single day. I think the light and I think the dark. I think all those times that I cried in my bed because look at where they brought me. I think the void, I think the uncertainty. I think going into the unknown, because I could have never known the way that my life would have panned out. I could have never known. Four days after finding about. About the infidelity. I thought I was supposed to go to Egypt with him. Obviously, I was not going to go with him. My friend decided to come with me, her. And I went to Egypt. I packed one suitcase, thinking I was going to come back in 10 days and figure out how I was going to move out. And once I left Egypt, well, first of all, I filed for the divorce. Second of all, I knew I could not go back. And so I had my things moved into a storage, which I've never seen again. To this day, I don't have one piece of belonging from that life. And I never went back. And I had one suitcase. And I traveled the world for over a year. And that brought me on a journey of A lifetime, a journey of becoming an artist, which I would have never experienced without it. So thank the darkness for where it brought you. Write down your dark night of the soul and where it guided you to and where it took you to next. And where it took you to next. So you can see, see that the darkness is really here to support us. It's here to take us places that when we had that lit up path with the flashlight, we could have never gone there. You know, in that old light life that you had, even if everything was super bright, it was. You were on a different road. You know, it's like you're on a different highway. It doesn't matter how fast you go, you're on the wrong highway. And so that dark night of the soul, it's like, okay, we're going to take you off this highway. You're going to be in this, like, liminal space for a while. Okay? Like, it's bringing up for me, Mario Kart. This is honestly what's coming up for me right now. So, you know when you're on Rainbow Road, been there before. I was always a little mushroom toad. She was so fast, but she would fly off a lot anyways. So, you know when you're on Rainbow Road, so you're like cruising on Rainbow Road, and sometimes when you steer off of the path, you, like, are flying in the abyss and you're like, oh, no, am I gonna fall into space or I'm gonna land on another road? Sometimes you fall off into space and then you lose that. That level. Gotta do it again. But then other times you would end up on another road. And actually it was like a better road. It was like, closer to the finish line. And you're like, oh, my God, thank God I fell off that road because now I'm like, way at the finish line and Yoshi's way back there, peace. And it's so amazing. And life is good. So that is what basically our dark knights of the swell are doing for us. They are taking us off of the path that we are on and actually closer onto the path that we desire. They're taking us away from a reality that we would have never taken ourselves out of. Because God knows there is something so much better for us. And if we can trust flow, surrender, let go, we open ourselves up for greater miracles than we could ever imagine from our point of consciousness. Because there are things that are so much more in alignment for you, but you gotta let go of what's not serving you. So your dark night of the soul makes you sexier. Embrace that energy. You know, I. I invite you, when you're listening to the music video, just, like, lay yourself. Like, dress up. Like, I'm gonna link the video. This is our official video party. Yay. Let's get it. So I want you to, like, dress up like your sexy, dark night of the soul. Like, I'm doing a little, like, black vampire look right now. But you can do whatever you like. Maybe you go hip hop, maybe you go goth punk, maybe you go modo. Whatever your sexy, dark night looks like. Play the song, watch the music video, and just have yourself a dance party. So when I was producing this beat, I found this Indian sample. Na na na na na na na na na. And it was giving Missy Elliot vibes to me. And I love Missy Elliot. And at first I actually put on an afrobeats beat, but then. And I was making the song like that, and then the next day I woke up and I was just like, what if it was on, like, an 808 trap beat? So I put on 808 trap beat, and I loved it. And I wrote that rap and recorded it all in one morning right here in my apartment. It just came through. It was a transmission from Goddess. It was like, look, nothing lasts forever except my swag. So I'd rather be extra than your regular ass no one cheering louder than the girl I used to be So I do this shit for her Become who she meant to be. Cause I got 99 problems but they all in the past My shadows made me sexy plus they gave me somewhere at star femme Got me wilding But I say sell a bit because unless you is a God then you is irrelevant because I got 99 problems being Delulu solved them all. I mean, I could do the whole song for you right now, but I want you to, like, have the experience in the music video. It is insane, you know? And just a little bit about the lyrics. I got 99 problems. Being Dulu solved them all. What does that mean? Me being Delulu of, Like, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Like, I'm so happy. Like, I am. I'm living my truth in a way I've never experienced before. I was shit scared, guys. I was actually shit scared. But I would tell myself this, and I was just living my best elulu life. I'm like, I am the main character. This is my moment, screenshot, my story. You'll never explore it. And that just became me. And I just became my own dream girl. And it made no sense. But Then it actually started to make sense. And here I am, my dream girl, you know? And it's so fun and truth, and not in the, like, a Barbie sense, but I'm, like, crying on the inside. Like, definitely at the beginning, I was crying on the inside, but then it just became part of me. And now it's like all these archetypes that you see me on every podcast. I'm like a different archetype of myself. Like, here is my inner dark night. We did no makeup look after my ayahuasca experience. We went into the future. I'm done. Psychedelic looks like all sorts of vibes because I have access to all of these aspects, these archetypes of the feminine within myself. And that is so fun to play with because, for example, in relationship, if we're just, I am just me, and you are just you, and that's it. It gets real boring real fast, you know? And that's how shit pops off and not the way that we want it to pop off, you know? So when we can play with different archetypes within ourselves and we're with another partner who can play with different archetypes within themselves, we can have a lot of fun. We can be role playing, cosplaying. Maybe we're doing different super smash bro characters. Who knows where it will take us, you know? And that's what's fun about it. You get to explore these different archetypes and characters within yourself. And that was all through my dark night of the soul. So I want you, when you're listening to this, have your own experience being, be your Delulu self. Make whatever you're going through the reason why everything in your life actually happened better than you could have imagined. Like, let's say you're like, right now, I had to move back home with my parents. And right now, that feels like the worst thing that ever happened. Okay, how is you moving back home with your parents the best thing that's ever happened? It gave me time. I could focus on my creative pursuits. I dropped an album. I wrote a screenplay. I saved enough money to travel the world. I met the love of my life at a local coffee shop. I mean, it could be a real Hallmark movie if you want it to be. It's just most of us, we take on the role of, this sucks. And I'm waiting for things to get better rather than this sucks. So this is why it becomes better. Do you see the difference there? It's the story we tell ourselves. If it's, I'm waiting for something amazing, to happen. Can something amazing happen? Can someone amazing walk into my life? I'm waiting. Well, you're not being amazing. So amazing things are not gonna come your way. Cause amazing things and people are like, you're boring. Bye. But when you decide you are amazing and even if you don't feel amazing, you start to tune into the things that make you. Whether it's listening to the song, whether it's dressing up, whether it's going to the park, whether it's getting a second, third, 20th, dog, whatever the thing is for. Then all of a sudden you're vibrating higher. And then people who are vibrating higher find you. You find each other, you see each other and then you start vibrating even higher together. And before you know it, it's the whole motherfucking vibe. That's what you see in, in this music video. I'm dancing with these girls and we're hyping each other up. And I also want to shout that out that like the way that society has deemed like female, like sexuality has always been like, it's for the male gaze, right? It's always performative for him. So let's just like stop that right there. Like hello woman. We are extremely sensual sexual beings. Women are far more multi orgasmic than men. We are way more actually attunely connected to our sexual energy. Again, it's this religious programming that has made us afraid of that and so letting us dress up sexy for ourselves. You know, this whole music video is like femme empowerment and for real life. We were having so much fun making the music video. Like the girls we, we had like volunteers come from the community. So you some high self podcast listeners were there, Some professional dancers were there. My bestie was there. We were all having so much fun and we were just hyping each other up like Go girl drives out into that split and it was so much fun. We were just like cheering each other on. It was like the best vibe. Zero competition. All just like raising each other up and seeing women in her full expression and not feeling like oh that's, that's intimidating or that's triggering or I'm jealous or she's gonna try to take my man or whatever the story is. Like, trust me, I love the song the boy is mine. But that shit was toxic. Not what we want in our subconscious. You know, like we were trained to be like that girl on girl competition. He's mine. No, he's mine. Well, I gotta let you know he's mine. If you know, you know the intro to that song. So we love that song, but we don't love the lyrics of it. I'm sorry, Brandon, Monica, please just. I know you guys are probably friends, though I did hear you guys. I hope you didn't have beef. I hope you're over the beef. I saw you guys made a new one with Ariana. I hope. Can we make it like the. The joy is mine. The joy is mine. Oh, shit. Trademarking that one. The. You need to feel enough because you are enough. It is. No. Because you are in trust. It's not hard to see. The joy is mine. Okay, guys, this is our song. If you hear anyone singing it on the streets, you know that we made it here together. Like, this is where it started. This is the moment. I feel very proud and blessed. Thank you. So you see here, when we open ourselves up to source, to God, we make cool remixes of everything. And that's it. That's what a dark knighted soul is. It's remixing your life. It's like that old life. That shit was not working for me anymore. So it's a remix. Yeah. You're gonna have to leave all that stuff behind. And the remix is so much better than the original. Like, you know those songs that you don't even know the original, but you've only heard the remix because the remix is so much better. That's pretty much what happens here in the sexy dark night of the soul. And guess what? The remix keeps getting remixed. And it's a remix of the remix of the remix. Like, the only song I could think about right now and that's giving me that was like, welcome to Atlanta. Do you guys remember welcome to Atlanta? It was like five remixes. I couldn't keep up. But they kept getting better. Like, I had the St. Lunatics on some. We got Snoop Dogg representing west side. We had Nellie the Saint. Yeah, I mentioned St. Lunatics. We had Jermaine Dupri on there. We're not gonna talk about Diddy. Can we just cut him off? Let's just remove him from that song. I think it got shitty when Diddy got got on. So don't share this with him. I hope he's in jail. So anyways, moving that you can take your dark night of the soul. And you know, the thing is, his dark night soul is he's just dark. Our dark night of the soul is we are accessing our dark to step into more light. And do you see here, like, I feel that's why we're afraid of our dark. We're like, oh, my God, Dark means I'm bad. It doesn't mean you're bad. Dark is. It's like, if you even think about it, like, if the fact that we're so afraid of the dark is like, we're afraid. It's like dark skin, like melanin, you know, Melanin skin is skin that's actually holding more light in it. That's actually what it is. So, again, we. And, like, a lot of it is our racism and that programming, too, that, oh, black is bad, Dark is bad. And by the way, this racism exists. Exists in almost all cultures. You know, like in. In growing up Iranian, like, I'm darker than most Iranians are because my mom's family is from South Iran. It's Afro Iranian. So Persian people would always be like, oh, your daughter's so pretty, for. They call it a sabza for a dark girl for that, you know? And even when I was a little girl, like, my grandma was really fair, and I wished I was like, her would put yogurt. She. She would put yogurt on my skin and to try to make me lighter. So do you see here? Dark is bad. It's literally from the time that we were all children. You know, in India, when you go to India, you see these huge billboards for fair and lovely. What is that? Skin bleaching. And by the way, all of the biggest Indian Bollywood stars are the faces of it. So what are we telling people in a brown country, especially in places like South India, where people are, you know, like melanin and beautiful complexion? We're telling them you need to be fair and lovely because white is right, lighter is better, darker is worse. So to be afraid of the dark and darkness is actually deeply rooted in racism and deeply rooted in colonialism that we need to bring whiteness to the world. So even look at that within yourself. Did you grow up in a family that was racist? Did you grow up in a family where there's internalized racism? Did you grow up thinking that you being darker or having curly hair or a wider nose or whatever the thing was, made you inferior? Did your family talk about other people like that? Because these are all ways that we have that programming within ourselves. And only until we purge ourselves from that consciousness, we will continue to manifest it. So don't be afraid of the dark. The dark is where it's at. The dark is the motherfucking vibe. The dark got some people in moto outfits, people having fun, people dancing. And actually, it's where the joy is. It's actually where the full Integration of life is you can't have the sunrise without the sunset. You know, you can't see the beautiful shooting star without the dark night sky. So I hope this song and this music video, which I will link below, please comment on the music video on YouTube that would help so much. Like, this is all just like my passion. It's an act of love. I don't make any money for my music. In fact, I just spend money on my music. I do it as just like my contribution to humanity. Because when I was in my dark night of the soul and I couldn't read books, I would just listen to music. And if I had songs like this in that moment, it would help me see that it's okay to feel the pain that I was in in that moment and that it wasn't the end of my life. And that though I was experiencing something intensely difficult, that it was actually the beginning of an iteration of me that I didn't know existed. So if you're in it right now, I want you to know I see you. I know how hard it is. It feels like you're in the middle of this dark, dark tunnel. But the light will find itself when surrender into the dark and celebrate it. Because one day you'll look back on this moment and thank goddess for it. It's because it's when it made you become fully alive. So please leave a comment for sexy dark night of the soul. I have that music video linked below. It means so much to me. Share with your friends. Add the song on Spotify to your playlists. That would really help. Like, imagine this being in the mainstream consciousness instead of, like, the horrible, like, lyrics of, like, she got a fat ass and she a ho. Like, we don't want that. Like, we're done with that shit. We want to have music about consciousness. We want to have music about empowerment and without it being like, all, like, you know, like mantras and sound baths. Like, also having it be fun and sound good and things that we actually want to shake our asses to. You know, I have another song called shake your ass for your ancestors, so I'll also put my album below so you can check that out. My other music videos as well. And I am just so deeply honored and grateful to be here on this journey with you, to be on the other side of this dark night of the soul so I can share the glimpses and the wisdom that I've gained. That like, holy shit, life is like full spectrum on the other side. You see the colors brighter, you feel things deeper everything just becomes so much more beautiful. So just trust that trust Flow, surrender Let go all right. I hope you enjoy the music video. I can't wait to see your comments and check it out and I'll see you in the next one. Trust your intuition Trust your inner wisdom Trust your inner guidance Close your eyes and listen so trust your intuition Trust your inner wisdom Trust your inner guidance.