570: How To Start + Define Your New Chapter Energy With Rosie Acosta

What I love and I feel, what I try to do in this podcast is to be all archetypes of me, all archetypes of the feminine, to give people permission that, like, I might wear black. I did wear black lipstick for my Shadow Work episodes and then I wore like silver metallic for like that. And it's like. And it's not so much about what I wear that's just to visually show, but it's about being all of these different sides of you. And I feel that the reason why our lives get mundane and we do get stuck in a rut and then often some big crisis happens is because we stop being the different sides of ourselves and then we start looking for them in other people. You know, why does infidelity even happen? Right? It's the thing that's missing in the relationship that you're personifying in someone else. What does a crazy obsessive crush comes from? We've personified those qualities in someone else. Like any of these things. It's like if we're. If there's ever an obsession, if there's ever a fixation, it's something that we have not embodied within ourselves, that we think exists outside of ourselves. So the more fluid you are, the more self sourced you become. And then you match with your mirror. It's like, I already laugh and I already play and now I can laugh and play with you. We're both already there. Neither of us have to bring each other up. Just flow sooner, let go. I'm the one I've been waiting for. Welcome back to the High Self podcast. My name is Sahara Rose, and on this podcast I love to take spirituality, matters of the heart and make it fun, grounded, relatable, real, like for real real. All I do is talk about the things that I voice. Note my bestie Rosie with like, that is literally what we're here to do today because there's some juicy happening right now. And the theme that I have noticed is that I feel like we're all like collectively in our new seasons or new chapters. You know, like I was in my dark femme season, sexy, dark night of the soul, you know, baddie motorcycle twerking on that thing. And then like sat with plant medicine. Then I was like in this like, nature era. Now I'm in my like milkmaid era. Apparently that's what they're calling it, Numb blonde and you know, just like soft girl season. And I got a second dog made marshmallow and I'm just at home and I make banana bread now and you know, and it's so fun, and I can't wait to see what the next season unfolds. And I feel we're often, like, going through life that we don't even notice these seasons, first of all. And second of all, I feel like a lot of us don't really have seasons. I feel like a lot of us, we stay in our routine. We stay doing the same thing. Like, I. I would say before, when I was, like, in my married life, I didn't have as many seasons. It was a lot more monotonous. And then after, you know, going through this deeper awakening, I was just a lot more aware of, like, what am I wearing and what am I into? And, like, creating my outer reality to be a reflection of what was going on inside. And also, I feel like when we go through these different seasons and chapters, we often don't notice it, but it's our friends. So in this conversation, we want to talk about how to know what season, season, and chapter you're in. And if you're in a pivot, what energy is calling you next? What is that next chapter for you? Because I feel like a lot of us were in that, like, okay, I just got fired. I just went through a breakup. I just went through a divorce. I just lost my job. What now? Freak out Instead of like, oh, shit, this is my glow up moment. And letting it be your upgrade. And before we drop into this episode, be sure to hit subscribe wherever you're listening to this podcast. That is the best way to stay up to date on the latest episodes. We've got this in video format, so if you're just hearing my voice, be sure to also watch our fabulous outfits on video as well on Spotify, YouTube, or the Apple Store. This is the best way to stay in the flow with future conversations and also allows the podcast to reach more people. So hit subscribe so I can keep vibe with you on all future episodes. Now let's get into this one. So without further ado, let's welcome Rossi to the Highest Health podcast. Hello, amiga.

I love this. Sort of like, how do you know when you're in that space? And how to take that and make it bigger, right? How to magnify that.

She had no idea what the podcast.

I literally just showed up.

I can't wait to listen to this one. It's a good conversation.

What about, like, why am I in the forest here? Like, I feel like I'm.

It's your forest girl season.

I love that for you. How do you decide what to call the Season. Because you have really great titles like you and you. It's.

You gave me the milkmaid title.

Well, I know, but. But I feel like you. You call it before you're in it.

Personal branding, baby.

What is. Is that what it is?

You know what I feel? In life, we're often going through different themes. Like, okay, remember being in, like, middle school? And like, every year? Okay, for me, it was like, summer break. I was like, who do I want to be this year? Okay, right. When you're like. You're like, yeah, who do I want to be? How do I dress? Yeah. You would plan it, and then, like, something happens in life and we, like, we stop. And. And I would say in middle school, it's very contrived, but it's like, can we go back into, like, what am I feeling? What am I calling in? And then creating a life doesn't mean you have to, like, throw out all your own clothes, but, like, doing little things, like a photo shoot or, you know, changing up the content that you post or the content that you consume to be a match for you. Like, I. Last year, I was in my hot pink era, and I was only wearing hot pink. You were like, yes, lots of hot pink and DJing, and even the flowers.

I got, you were hot pink.

Yeah. And that was, like, my energy of finally coming out of the healing and, like, being like, I am bold, I am free, I am liberated. And that hot pink energy, it's like a girl's girl, you know? It's like, you're doing it for the ladies here when you're. When you're doing hot pink. And that was the energy. But it's interesting because I would say I'm a little bit more in a white mauve era right now. And so I was, like, looking at my hot pink stuff, and I was like, thank God it wasn't that expensive because I don't feel like wearing it, so I should do, like, a poshmark or something to be wanted. But it was, like, perfect for that moment.

Yeah, that's exactly right. And I think that that's the most poignant assessment. It's like, you knew that it was a moment in time and you weren't sort of attached to that identity. And I'm really curious, because you do this, like, you're able to recognize when it's time to shed that layer, and you're like, you have no attachment. This is why I love you. It's like, you have no attachment. And it's like, okay, next we're onto the next thing. And I think that's really actually inspiring because so many of us, we get tied into that identity and how we. Especially if you're a public person, right? Or if you're wanting to create a business online or if you're wanting to create an aesthetic. We are so. We feel so tied and beholden to that thing. And you're very much like, nope, like, we're changing it. We're doing that. So let's say it's somebody that's really tied into that identity and they're like, oh, I can't change my aesthetic. Like, I really want to go into the pink era, but if I put hot pink on, it's just going to be a mess, right?

Honestly, the deeper spiritual reason behind it was when something life shattering happens to you, so much of who you are changes that you can't be tied into. Oh, well, my personality is not hot pink. My personality is whatever. Because your entire personality changes. And I feel that that actually is what has made me lean into my multidimensionality so much more. Because after, you know, going through my divorce, I was like, oh, shit. Like, I'm re questioning everything about myself. You know, I used to love living by the beach. I decided to live near the mountains. I used to, you know, never smoke weed. I started smoking weed. Now I don't smoke weed. I was like, I just. I like, I did everything the opposite, you know? And through that, it's like, so how can I be so attached to a personality when that personality doesn't actually exist? Because who you believed you were will change. Some of us, I think, are a little bit more, like, fluid and shifting, and some of us not. You could look at astrology, human design, maybe the way that you were raised, things like that. But I would say who I am at my core, my Dharma, my truth is always the same. You know, I'm always here to raise consciousness. I'm always going to be a spiritual teacher of some sort. But the mediums and the modalities, which I call the Dharma blueprint, shifts, right? Like, stepping more into my artist archetype is going to make my medium change. And, you know, then the way I present myself change. And I also feel that seeing these as different archetypes within yourself, like, one thing that came through me in the plant medicine was like, you are a deity, and a deity has many forms. And when I was in the plant medicine, I had just done the music video for Sexy Dark Night of the Soul, and I was kind of out of that era. I Feel like I create, like, an art piece that's like, the end of the era. I'm like, discover your dharma. I learned how wrote the book. Moving on. Rose gold goddess is divine, feminine. It's like, okay, next. And so that was like, that era of, like, fuck, my shadows made me sexy. Plus, they gave me some more ass, like, that energy. And then the music video, and I'm like, okay. Like, I actually desire partnership and, like, yeah, making banana bread. And, you know, so. But then I felt. Part of me still felt like. But, like, now I'm this voice of that. This, like, Kali Ma bold. So I have to keep being that. Otherwise, I'm gonna let all the girlies down. So I have to keep being that. And the medicine was like, no, because that deity will still exist in people's consciousnesses that need. Those podcasts I recorded right after the heartbreak will still exist. And that's the beauty of the Internet. You know, it's like these things live on. They're like, I come across YouTube videos of people they recorded seven years ago. I have no idea what era they're in now, but that video finds me through the algorithm of life, you know? And it's like, so if I were to behold in myself of, like, well, everyone looks at me as this, like, Kali Ma dark femme transmute your shadows person. I have to always be that. Then I would never step into this next iteration of who I'm meant to be. That is inspiring people of, like, coming more into my light feminine and my softness and Lord knows, like, yeah, the sexy milk maid. You know, someone's got to get their dairy in. And, you know, it's got to. It's gonna be me, but, like, the true self of who I am still. It's like, I could change my hair color. I could change my outfit. Like, my truth is the same. These things are, like embellishments of the frequencies of the conversations I'm in of, you know, when I become a mother, everything will shift once again. It will be an entirely different identity. And the list goes on. And I feel that the moment that we think that we know who we totally are, we limit our expansion. So instead, you know, sure have your staples. And some people, like Chanel, they're like, style is, like, forever, but it's like, you know, and some of us are here to, like, change it up.

Yeah, Yeah, I love that. And I'm curious, too. Like, in saying that your core and who you are doesn't change, you know, you're very clear with what your purpose is. And what you're here to do. And I, I feel like there's a lot of people that might not be at that level. Right. But I'm curious for you how much of the external, we'll call them embellishments help you move further towards that new chapter. Like, you know, they say you, you dress how you want to feel, right? So in a way, this is a really great way to reverse engineer not feeling great.

Right.

It's like, go get your hair done, get your makeup done, or, yeah, go get some new outfits or change up your style. Like really sort of utilize what you have to feel different or go get some new things. Right. So I'm curious for you, like, what came first, the energy? Or was it you got the, the sort of essentials that you needed? The hot pink, you got all the hot pink stuff. Then once you had it, you're like, okay, this is it. Or you already felt the hot pink energy and you were like, okay, now I need to get stuff that matches how I feel for you. Specifically.

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Yeah.

Because why do I look at a sunset? You know, why do I look at a cute dog? Why do I look at anything in life? Because these things change who I am. So, yes, I could close my eyes and go through the world, and that's. That is also a reality. And yes, in an even deep. I can't even say even deeper one, because art is just as deep. And I feel that we diminish it because it is the feminine, you know, and the things that are related to the feminine as a society, we don't value.

Yeah.

You know, so we're like, oh, like, of course it will be men who are like, oh, those things are frivolous. Like, why do you guys bother? Doesn't actually matter. What are they the most drawn to?

Right.

They're like, oh, I love a girl who wears no makeup. Then they're like, all these girls, tons of makeup. You know, that's makeup. Right. You know, it's like, and. And moving beyond, you know, the plant medicine. Actually, it. It challenged me. It was like, go on your podcast with no makeup on. And, you know, I did multiple episodes, zero makeup on. And since then, I'm doing my own makeup, which is just, like, minimal makeup. The makeup I would just do on a Day to day basis. And you today, you were like, who did your makeup? I'm like, I just have done it myself since. So it's like. So beauty doesn't mean more. It doesn't mean, you know, fake. It doesn't mean any of those things. Now the question of, like, what came first, the chicken or the egg? Did you feel hot pink or did you wear the hot pink? I felt like shit. I felt like crap. I felt like I had no idea what was gonna go on. I felt unsexy. I felt like I got cheated on. I felt like fuck. So who do I wanna become now? Well, I wanna be someone who feels like she's sexy but not for the male gaze. Like, for me. I wanna wear the thing that I couldn't wear in my marriage. Cause I would have been judged for it. I wanna post the things I couldn't have worn posted in my marriage. Cause I wasn't allowed to. Like, I wanna be that version of me that I couldn' lean into that. And for me, it started with like, I would do like a photo shoot and then I would like have that picture of me and it would be like deifying myself of like, wow. That archetype of me in like gold chains and amethyst in a waterfall exists. I am also that sacred site. You know, I always loved, like the Trinidad carnival costumes and the colors and this and that, but I never thought in my life I would go, and I'm gonna go there and wearing that. I'm like, that version of me exists. And then, like, when I would be crying and I would, like, look back at my pictures and I'm like, yeah, I'm that bitch, you know? And so it started with not feeling that way and going into it, even though in between the twerks, I was crying, you know, and then that's where it started. But then I started to get the hot girl energy and I started to feel more confident. I would, you know, maybe walk in there not and then walk out. You know, you walk out of a dance class first, you know, like, I can't stretch. My back hurts. And then you walk out, you're like, I want to do a second class. You know? And it would be. It would be that and then riding that. Then it was like, oh, I feel hot pink. I wear hot pink. It was like matched. And then it was like, I don't know, maybe I got a little tired. I guess. Like, I lived it up so much. I traveled so much that I was like, I feel the next evolution for me, which If I went straight into, it would have felt like going backwards. But it's like, you've got to go Yin Yang, Yin Yang spiral. Right? So it's like, what does full liberation look like to me? It's like, okay, traveling the world. What does the next version of liberation look like? For me, it's like, oh, having a home, you know, and then it's like. And then. And then the pendulum shifts that way. And then finding, like, the beauty and the joy of, like, staying in on a Saturday night by myself, you know, finding the beauty and the joy of, you know, getting my second dog, like, grounding and cooking again. And, you know, and these are things that I also let go of in the process. So I feel it's continuing, tuning into what feels like the most expansive version of you next. And then. Yeah, and then it's often not a conscious decision of, like, this is the next era set in stone. It's like, I'm drawn to this thing. So then, obviously, if I'm staying at home, I'm not going to be wearing hot pink flowers, feather jumpsuits. So then I could. But it's just not as comfortable. Like, my values are changing. Right. It's like comfort now is becoming more. More of them. And then it's like. And then it's funny because I actually dressed like this at the beginning of my spiritual journey, you know, But I had to completely walk away from it to, like, come back to it. And, like, Lord knows, I might be a goth next week, guys. I have no idea. But what I love and I feel what I try to do in this podcast is to be all archetypes of me, all archetypes of the feminine, to give people permission that, like, I might wear black. I did wear black lipstick for my Shadow Work episodes, and then I wore, like, silver metallic for, like, that. And it's like. And it's not so much about what I wear that's just to visually show, but it's about being all of these different sides of you. And I feel that the reason why our lives get mundane and we do get stuck in a rut, and then often some big crisis happens is because we stopped being the different sides of ourselves, and then we start looking for them in other people.

Yeah.

You know, why does infidelity even happen? Right. It's the thing that's missing in the relationship that you're personifying in someone else. What does a crazy, obsessive crush comes from? We've personified those qualities in someone else. Like any of these things, it's like if we're. If there's ever an obsession, if there's ever a fixation, it's something that we have not embodied within ourselves, that we think exists outside of ourselves. So the more fluid you are, the more self sourced you become. And then you match with your mirror. It's like, I already laugh and I already play and now I can laugh and play with you. We're both already there. Neither of us have to bring each other up.

Yeah, I love that. Yeah.

What about you? Do you feel like you have seasons and eras?

I mean, of course I do. You've seen, you know, me go through. But I think for me, mostly it's. It's like I like the visual medium of changing things up, you know, externally and just, you know, having a certain style or kind of changing it up. And there's moments where I want to really dress up and feel, you know, super loved and, you know, wear like pencil skirts and high heels. And then there are moments where I just want to, like, wear denim and concert tees. And then there are moments where I just want to be in my loungewear, you know, which for the most part is a lot of the time, you know, especially when you work from home. I mean, you're just lounging a lot. But I find that for me, it's the external component of it, like the dressing or the putting makeup on or the hair and all that stuff sometimes helps me feel better when I don't feel great. Right. Like, if I don't feel great, I might be like, okay, maybe, you know, I'll go get my hair done or I'll, you know, blow dry my hair or I'll do something to make me feel that, that essence of appreciation. Right? It's like we have to be able to appreciate where we are and what we have. And I think what we're talking about is being able to recognize what those chapters are. Right. Or being able to see, being able to help those chapters come to fruition. Right. And I like what you're saying about appreciating all facets that you are and being able to kind of stay in the present with all those sides of you. It's not just, oh, this was like my hot pink girl era. Now I'm into this. But it's like, you still appreciate her.

And you can always come back.

Yeah. And you can always come back. And I really love that you're saying what you're saying. And for me, I think the closest relationship I have to that is with music. Right. Because it's like.

And your fertility and body journey, if you could talk.

Well, sure, yeah. Like, I mean, that's definitely been a huge part of my process. I mean, you know, a couple of years after we met, I think, is when Tori and I started, you know, that process. And I was doing all of the work and the acupuncture and the visualization, and, you know, I was seeing the shamans, and I was going to the monks, and I was going to the temples, and I was really sort of, like, in that. Trying to create a home space. Like.

Because you were traveling, teaching at Wonderlust.

Yeah, so I. I mean, I was traveling 85% of the time. And I remember, you know, my. My little abuelita before, she. She's just passed away. But at the time, she would say things to me like, how do you. How do you expect to have a home and build a home when you're traveling all the time? You know, And I remember that really sort of, you know, staying with me and observing. Okay, if I want to create this next chapter in my life and I want to create this new life, I need to kind of change the way that I'm interacting with my life, because I'm not acting as a woman who wants to have a family. You know, it was just kind of like, okay, I'm traveling here, and then I'm going to this, and I'm teaching at this festival, and then I'm going to Scotland, then I'm going to Bali, and then I'm coming back, and then I'm going to Australia, and then it's just like this. Oh, and then in the interim, like, when I'm ovulating, I got to make sure I'm home so I can have sex. And to be honest, it felt a little bit forced. You know, looking back at it now, it felt like just something I had to do. And I don't want to say it like, oh, I felt like it was just something I had to check off the list. It was something that I wanted and still, at some points, in some respects, still want. I'm unable to do it now, but currently in this moment. But at the time, it felt very much like, yeah, this is what I'm supposed to be doing, right? Like. Like, I've got to the places where I'm needing to go. You know, I've got, you know, a book deal, I've got an agent, my career's doing well. You know, I've got a podcast. Like, I've got all the. I have a home, you know, like, all the things that I wanted to create in my life were happening, but that wasn't right. So, yeah, obviously, you know, we. We went through a couple of miscarriages, and it sort of propelled this health journey of mine that I've been on since then. And I went straight into perimenopause, not knowing that I was in perimenopause. And so it was just like chapters upon chapters upon chapters, you know, like. And. And I could really relate what you're saying with that. That sort of visceral, abrupt experience happening where you feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you, that at that point, you just know that things are going to change, and things do change, and it's. It's really sort of. I remember telling you this in the midst of your process, you know, because you are. And I've said it before on the podcast, I'm sure people keep hearing me say this, but you're a completely different person. Like, you are just. You're not even the same person that I met, you know, And. And I think it's great. Like, I love that, and I love you better. I do like you better. Yeah, I do. Not that I did it.

Like, you should not get offended, but.

Not that I did it. It's like, it just. It's just a different. It's just different. Like, you're just there.

I like you better, too.

Okay, good. Well, you know, it's like we see each other change through the process, and I think, you know, we. And I don't know that it's like, I like you better. I didn't like you as much.

It's just like, we've grown closer.

We've. Yeah, we've grown closer together. And I think that there's. There's more, like. Of that bond and love and acceptance, and I think that even though we're in different.

Totally different chapters. Oh, yeah. And I think that's.

We have nothing in common.

We have nothing in common. Everything to talk about constantly. It's almost like we have some stuff going.

We do, but for the most part.

But we wouldn't snip on each other on a dating app, right?

No, we wouldn't. But we keep each other, I feel, like, on a good track, you know, And I think that, you know, what I was gonna say was that I've said this to you before. Like, it felt so courageous what you did and so. So brave, you know, to go through the process and go through what you went through and go through that heartbreak.

Was there any Fear of you, of my friends. Changing her chapter and season. Like going through a divorce. I'm not gonna like her anymore. I'm gonna lose her. I feel like a lot of people are afraid of her.

Oh, yeah. Oh. You know, we've never talked about this before. Yeah. I did go through a moment in December when this was going on where I was like, damn, like, I might lose a friend. Like, because.

Because you don't know what direction.

Yeah. You don't know. And it's like, this could have. But then I start to think, okay, how would I lose a friend that's changing chapters in their lives? And it's because maybe you. You go really deep into, like, doing plant medicine, or you go really deep into, like, one direction that's. That's very linear or. Or very. Because you're so not. Not. You're so not non linear, but in a very sort of rigid way, let's say you. You chose a path and you're like, this is my path. I'm staying on this path. This works for me. I. I could see how we could have grown apart because, you know, I. I would feel like, I want to support you. But if. If people go through a traumatic experience and they find something that works for them, they get very regimented and very rig to other people and other people's opinions and life because they found something that works for them. They found that panacea for that.

That, thank God I still haven't found it.

Right. And we've been through it.

Does anyone have a panacea for me, please?

No. But, like, had you gone, I could see how that would have been really difficult as a friend and somebody that loves you and cares about you, to just kind of see that and to not feel like, damn, if I tell her how I feel about this, she might not receive it. Right. That was thankfully not the case. And you were very open and. Yeah, like, you went through it, you know, And.

And I think too, like, a lot of us are afraid of starting new chapters because we're afraid of even losing that friend, too.

Like, were you afraid of losing friends?

Well, actually, there was a moment, like, a few, because so many people were reaching out to me, that I was like, I'm in touch with so many people who do I actually want to be in touch with? And there were some friends who don't live in this country who I would, like, have, like, oh, let's zoom. And sometimes we would zoom. But it was like, especially with, like, Covid, it was like, they, like, they live in Australia. It's like we're just never gonna see each other again. And so there were some friendships that I was sort of, like, intentionally, like, I told them. I'm like, I have a lot going on right now, and I will reach out to you when I. It's like I. I had to be very discerning of, like, who do I want around me? You know? And I just realized I had all so many different friends that so much of my time was spent telling the story again and again and again and again and again and again. And it's like. And then everything changes. Then you have to fill them all in. And it just felt like I was, like, living for them, you know? And it's like. But they probably don't even really, like, care for the updates, but I felt like I owed it to them. And it was like this weird, like, codependent kind of relationship, I would say, with just, like, voice owning people and friends and keeping everyone up to date. So I was a lot more mindful of who am I really, like, letting in on this experience and to, like, what levels. And I would say different chapters. There have also been friends I'm closer with and then different chapters that friends I'm not closer with. Right. Like, you know, friends that were single. Like, I became closer with them. But then, you know, when you're in different parts of your healing journey, they may be in different parts, so they might be a great voice. When you're both men and then you've moved on and they're still that, and, you know, and then it's like, where are you getting your advice from? So that has been interesting to continue to navigate of, like, you know, I feel like I have, like, my core besties and you're my number one. Duh. But then. Yeah, but different friends that. It's like, maybe I talked to about this chapter or different chapters align sometimes, and then sometimes you. You grow apart. But I would say, actually, for me, since we're talking about it, I wondered, you know, I never wanted to have kids when I was married. Like, less and less. But then when the plant medicine told me, I was wondering how that would feel for you. Yeah, yeah, for me. Because we would bond about not having. Not having kids, and then me saying, I do feel like I want that. But I was like, I will always just tell you the truth rather than, like, not letting you in on this part of my journey.

Oh, yeah. Honestly, it was exciting for me because I'm like, I would love a little one of you. Like, can you Imagine, like, that would fucking be so fun.

Added to the marshy.

Yeah. I mean, if I'm honest, like, truth, truth, truth. We're in the container. Are we in the container? Like, even when you would say that you didn't want kids, you. I just don't. My. The energy, I feel like, from you is like, you're gonna have kids. You know, like, even. Even though you were like, oh, I don't want kids, I don't want kids.

Because I felt more the opposite of, like, I think this is just the plant medicine maybe talking, and I'm.

Yeah, no, no, I really. I've always felt from you that, like, there will be a point where you'll become a parent. So it wasn't necessarily like, I want to respect what you want, obviously. But if it wasn't like, a surprise, it wasn't entirely a surprise. It wasn't like, oh, my God, like, now, oh, my God, she's gonna have kids. Now what?

It's like, I would say for women, that's probably the biggest chapter change and friendship change that happens.

Yes.

100% the threshold of becoming a mother.

Yeah. Yeah. Because it really does. I mean, you. You have friends with kids. I have friends with kids.

Most of them I'm not close with anymore.

Yeah, it. Because it does. It does change. I mean, I have to say that my two closest friends that have kids, like, the relationship communication changes. But I'll say, when we're together, there's still that bond and that love and that care. So I think it just changes. But there is one friend that for sure has fallen off the face of the planet. And it's almost like. Like I've. I've read so much, so many articles about this and how, you know, it's really important to have compassion for people because it's all of your energy now is going to these little beings. And I totally understand that it makes you realize how energetically demanding relationships are as a whole. Right. Like, we don't. We don't think about it because, you know, you and I are very communicative and we have, you know, relationships, but.

We wouldn't be able to maintain our friendship if one of us had kids. Kids to this degree, likely.

I don't know.

I mean, I don't know, because every time I'm dating someone.

Yeah. And it's.

I'm, like, breastfeeding. I'm like, rosie, this kid's really hurting my nipple right now.

But.

But at the same time, like, again, but with my friends, I was. I never had the Same flow. But I have seen with my friends when they have babies, you know, they don't respond, you know, and I, and I totally understand. But I also hear from them, they're like, I don't resonate with people who aren't moms anymore.

Yeah, it's interesting.

They're like, I wouldn't, some of them have said, to be honest, I would not sign up for a coaching or a mastermind of someone who's not a mother because they just don't know what it's like. That it's easy. You know, she was talking about like different tantra trainings. She was like, it's easy for someone with no kids to talk about like, yeah, have a three hour like sex ritual with your husband when you have kids. That's not going to happen. And it's true. Or again, some tantrum. People can, you know, it's different. But I find that they want to learn from other people who are mothers. And it makes total sense because it's like your entire way of relating to the world has shifted. So I, I have felt it's probably again, I'm not a mother, but it's probably both on their end of they don't have the time. But also their priorities of who they want to keep in touch with are likely other moms who are in the same chapter of life. And that makes sense.

Sense. Yeah. It's like I don't want to. With people who don't have never been in a long term relationship that don't, that are trying to teach about relationships and don't have a clue how to have a relationship. And they're out there teaching about relationships like I'm not gonna with you. Like, you know, or somebody that's not been married that doesn't understand marriage or that somebody that you know, is, is teaching about heartbreak that's never had their heartbreak.

But that's kind of a difference because that's someone teaching about a subject they're not embodying. A lot of mothers have a hard time even just connecting with other people.

Yeah. Women. Yeah.

Because it's still a selfish way of living is how they kind of. And I, and I get that totally. I wake up and my needs are about me, especially not not being married anymore. It is a different way of attuning and operating. And you know, I think that that's one of the challenging things and Are.

You trying to prime me like when you have kids?

Hell no. You're gonna move in with me.

I'm just like, what are you even saying why are we even about this?

I am so excited to share that my new music video for Shake your ass for your Ancestors is finally out. I actually shot this video live at my album launch party slash DJ set at Envision Festival with over a thousand of you in the jungles of Costa Rica. So if you were there, shout out to you and you are maybe here in this music video. It was an MF party. We had so much fun entirely sober. And really what Shaky ass for your Ancestors is about is about releasing the stored trauma and tension that we somatically hold onto in the body through dance gyration, moving our bodies, which by the way is how our ancestors healed for thousands of years through dancing around the fire, under the full moon and with our brothers and sisters. So if you want to have a lot of fun, elevate your morning routine. Be sure to check out the Shake you ask for your ancestors music video. You're watching it right now on the screen and you can head over to YouTube. The link is below to experience the full thing. You're going to feel like you are in the jungles of Costa Rica with me and I can't wait until you finally are Shake your ass for your ancestors. This show is sponsored by Better Help. So what is something you're really into learning? As kids we're always doing after school activities. We're playing sports, we're going to camp or trying new things. But for some reason we lose that spark as adults. We become so busy. So my invitation for you is to get that back to school energy back in your life. So personally I've been going to more dance classes is something I've put off for a while and I really want to take up pottery. So what is your back to school vibe? A really great place to start thinking about this is in therapy. So if you're thinking about giving therapy a start, I highly recommend Better help. So if you're new to therapy or just looking for a good one, I highly recommend giving Better Help a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. You just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch switch at any time for no additional charge. So rediscover your curiosity with better help. Visit betterhelp.comsahara to get 10 off your first month. That's betterhelp h E-L-P.comsahara and you can find that link in the show notes. So trust your intuition, Trust you in the wisdom, trust you in the Guidance. Because I think it's like the biggest chapter change. And then I've seen also like your kids are in different ages. And then that's like, you know, then you're friends with the kids who.

Yeah, but then it's like you have to be friends.

Here's. You gotta be friends with the parents. You gotta be friends with parents. Goth stage. Your friend, your kid.

Exactly. And it's like. And, and then it's kind of like a forced thing of like now you have to be friends with like these.

But my parents would make me hang out with their friends kids, and they're like way older than me. These are your new friends? I, I have nothing in common but being Persian.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be controversial because, you know, I like that. I, I don't know that that's the. I, I hear what you're saying about the moms wanting to hang out with other moms. Like, I, I think that's great. I don't know.

Brown parents would never let the kids decide.

This is the thing that I'm saying. You're bi girl.

This 14 year old boy. Your new friends go, we're gonna be gone tonight.

Exactly.

Restaurant booth. Yeah.

I would see like my, my theas and stuff. And their friends, like, they'd be like, we're going out with the girl. Like, we're hanging out. They would just like leave the kids. It's like, you know what I'm saying? I. I think, I think there's kind of a little bit of a difference in the parenting. The gentle parenting and all that. No, no offense. Moms out there, mommy blogs don', me, you know, you know me.

I'm gonna be totally dear gentle parents.

Yeah, I know. And we say that I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be, you know, like, like brown parent. But then it's like, you know, brown gentle parent. Yeah. I don't know.

A new chapter. Yeah.

My children are the most misbehaved animals, so I, I can't even speak to it. Yeah.

Yeah. And I feel like also just like new chapters, relationships. Like.

Yeah.

For you, like, besides me, or would you say most of your friends are married?

Yeah, actually they are.

Married people tend to roll with other married people, you know, because it's just a different lifestyle.

But you also have to remember that my friends that were my friends, they weren't, they were single. I've just had friends for like decades long. Right. So we've talked about this before, you know, but so most of My actually half of my long term friends have been divorced and are on their second round of marriages, interestingly enough.

Right. If you've been friends with them for 20 years.

Yeah, it's about to happen. I mean, it really goes with the general staff. That's true, that's true.

Whereas when I first became single, all my friends were married, you know, and then I was like, I don't even. I knew one divorced person, you know, and. But now I would say most of.

My friends are single. Right, but you're in that cycle if you think about it. Right.

It's like I'm in the mid-30s,-30s divorce.

Yeah. And that's about the time when my friends also got, interestingly enough, that's when they got divorced. You know, we. There was a moment in time, I think, when Tori and I just celebrated like our 10 year anniversary, which is about that same time that we had almost half of our friends get a divorce around the same time. So it was about that sort of seven to ten year period of changing. And so, you know, every seven years we shed, I mean our cells are different. We shed that skin and that, that sort of layer of who we are. So it's really good every seven to, to ten years to reinvent yourself fully, to really just become somebody new, you know, the upgrade version. Right. And so I think that that makes sense in relationships when that sort of changeover happens.

So let's talk about like, okay, we're like, okay, make a new version of yourself. Like how. So I've shared a bit about mine. It was through my pain. You had a massive glow up. Let's talk about it. I'll let you spill the deets. What made you have this glow up? Guys? She's lost how much weight?

Oh my God, like almost 30 pounds.

Almost 30 pounds. Yeah, naturally. Yeah, tell us about it.

Yeah, naturally. Just unnaturally.

No sempic.

Yeah. And look, and I don't want to, you know, disparage. I know I have so many friends.

You can sponsor something, it's fine.

I have so many friends that are on, you know, like, like different forms of, of oic and you know, I have family members that have diabetes, so, so I, I.

Very helpful for.

Very helpful, of course. And you know, it's like we all want a magic button. Everybody wants the magic button. So, so for me, you know, you, you've been with me for this, this whole journey. And so as I went into perimenopause, I went into perimenopause early. I started at like 35:36. And everything changed. My metabolism, changed, my, my body, changed mood, everything. Without boring you with too many of the details, the biggest issue for me at that point was the weight gain, right? So I, you know, I gained all this weight and before all the things that I would do worked. You know, you just, you know, mind your, your carbohydrates and your sweets and I have a sweet tooth, so I'm a sugar addict and, and just work out, you know, hit that high int for a couple extra runs.

And then you were doing super intense workout.

Oh yeah. Like, that was like my, my main go to. And so come to find out, when you are in perimenopause and menopause, there's a lot of things that are contraindicated when you are trying to be at your optimum health. Now perimenopause is, is like a sep. I want to call it even. It's a whole separate beast. It's a whole different experience. So I am postmenopausal, which means that I am already in menopause and dealing with the sort of symptoms and, and the extra weight. The brain for all that stuff is a little bit more manageable now because you're kind of like on this plateau so you can start to find what works for you. So I'm saying that because I think it's really important because a lot of I can tell you what I've been doing and did, and for somebody going through perimenopause, it might not work for them, right? So for me, it was like, like, all right, I'm done. Nothing in my closet fits me, like. And look, I'm in a happy relationship. You know, my boyfriend is a gentleman. He loves me at any size.

He loves that ass.

He's like, as long as that doesn't go away, he's happy, you know, like, give the man what he loves, you know. And yeah, so for me, it was mostly like, you know, I have joint pain in my knees and I'm not, you know, when I would go running, it would be painful. And you know, weight gain has not some great health risks to it, you know. So when I did my last blood work, I was, you know, close to pre diabetic. And I'm like, guys, like, come on. Like, I'm not, you know, I'm not an unhealthy person, which is kind of crazy because you know how I eat. I'm a very healthy eater. I cook a lot, you know, so kind of seeing where I was at.

Was really what were like the sneaky sugar things you were having.

Oh, come on, girl.

Like, like, was it from too much fruit in your smoothie? Was it like.

Oh, yeah. It was just so for me, like this, the. I. I was 100 sure that I was. I had insulin resistance. Right. I'm like trying to, you know, figure out.

It can't be me, it can't be me.

But it wasn't. It was really just my lifestyle. So it was. The first thing I was doing in the morning is eating a bowl of Greek yogurt, which. With granola and honey and blueberries. And I'm like, this is healthy, right? This isn't a, you know, Egg McMuffin, you know, from a fast food place.

This is healthy diet books that literally tell us, of course.

And. And then it was, you know, avocado toast. Like, my diet was like a normal, mostly plant based food.

But it's the granola, it's the honey, it's the bread.

It's the bread, it's. It's the fat, it's. It's the, you know, all the dressing, all the vegan dressings, all the cashew based dressings. It was my homemade cashew milk and my matcha bars. I. I didn't do a lot of bars. No. But, you know, I. I like dessert with every meal. So it's like a little bit of chocolate. You know, I. I love chocolate. So it was just.

Should we tell them about peanut butter? I have a confession.

Okay, let's do it.

I sa rose him a peanut butter addiction. I was off it for eight days because there was a point about eight days ago that I caught myself just eating it. Like, I have this jam that's like among fruit, sweetened jam. So I don't feel bad about it. I was going through a jar a day. I'm not gonna lie to you guys. But it wasn't the jar. The jam that probably has pesticides and radioactive shit in there. It was almost half of the jar. You know what I was going through after every meal. I couldn't wait to finish eating until. So I was off it for eight days. And yesterday I slept. I'm sorry. It was gonna start with one spoon. It was four. I'm sorry.

Look, there's no shame here. You're.

Don't judge me.

There's no judgment.

Do you know what started it? I went back to giving bars too.

This is.

Okay. I wanted to. I had these bars. They're sweetened with monk fruit. Okay, guys. Monk fruits, reverse calories. And I only had two mini ones. And I normally do, like three. So, you know, when you. You don't get your ratio of what you normally get, you want more. And how many more of the bars? What else did I have that tasted like a bar? Come on, guys. Peanut butter with that jam. So I decided if I was, like, standing up and doing it, it didn't count because it's not like I formally, like, sat down and ate. It's like, just happened, you know, just happened in the kitchen. And here I am talking about it. So. I'm sorry.

Don't apologize. Here's the thing. I also. Hi, my name is Rosie. I'm also a peanut butter addict.

Have you had any?

No, I haven't. I haven't.

She even had her own birthday cake.

That's lol. Yeah, I didn't eat. Yeah.

Can you tell us about that?

Yeah. Look, and first of all, don't feel bad about it. Like, this is. This is sort of the thing, like.

Because I don't have love in my life. Okay.

You know, but you know what? I did notice? I was very surprised at how I was also emotionally eating. Like, I could have told you that. You know, as somebody that struggled with, you know, eating disorder, like, in my early 20s, I was very aware of the emotional eating. But I mean, it's still very much a reward. It's a reward system and everything that's. And I'm, you know, I'm Mexican. Like, I. Food is my love language. Like, that is it. And so. So that was a huge revelation to me during this process. So realizing that a lot of what I was having wasn't really serving me. And so all I did was integrate some intermittent fasting.

Did you cold turkey one day just say, you know what? I'm not gonna have any sugar. I'm just gonna eat protein and vegetables till.

I mean. I mean, I'm working with a health coach, you know, and it's a little bit sort of like, humbling, I wanna say, because as a certified nutritionist and also a health coach, that. That something that I did for. For many years. It's very humbling to have somebody tell me things that I already know because it's almost like, oh, I already. I need.

We all need a coach.

Right? But we absolutely all need. I'm a big advocate. We've talked about this coaching, like, hire that coach, have that accountability. And. And that's really what did it for me. It's like, I'm investing in this. Like, I am paying. I am putting. Putting my money where my mouth is. And it was not cheap. And I'll tell you, Tori says this to me all the time. You know, it's like. And I love it. I love this quote. He says, cheap shit ain't good and good ain't cheap. You know? And I'm like, damn. Like, that is so true, you know, because I was kind of hemming and hawing about hiring this coach because they're very expensive. And I'm like, just. I don't know. And he's like, just do it. Like, do it and see how it goes. And I'm so. And it was only like, you know, it was a short program, but I committed to doing it for a certain amount of time for 12 weeks. And I'm like, I'm the type of person that if I. Girl, I'm up at 4:45 every morning. I do my sadhana. I'm doing my mantra. Like, I go to bed at what time?

Like, seven? She's like, in REM by eight.

Yeah, exactly.

Like, I have to raw dog my own leg. Replying to texts by myself.

She's just like, where? Why is she sleeping?

Swiping on apps, not knowing who to say yes to.

But I'll tell you, like, the confidence and the. The sort of, like, warm feeling that I have in the morning when I wake up and I get to see your messages, it really just makes my day. And that's my turn.

You went through a breakup. Having your guy is over with.

It's just like, I never know what I'm gonna get. So it's a great surprise, you know? But that's the thing. It's. It's the commitment and it's the. The devotion. And I feel like for me, I've. I've always been really good at a discipline and just like, sticking to that. That thing, you know?

So now you, like, because you did a new photo shoot. So I feel like that photo shoot you did and stepping into this new energy of like, yeah, being postmenopausal doesn't mean your life is over. I'm actually in my sexiest, most glowed up.

I mean, I'll tell you right now, like, in this stage of my life, you know, I remember when I started to research perimenopause and menopause. I'm like, oh, my God. Like, I'm getting old. Like, what does this mean? And I just would see these women with these big sweaters and, like, you know, hair not done, and just feel I'm in. Not seeing women out, but, like, in my mind. The visual of. The visual of Me seeing menopause is like. What do they say? It's like the crone. It's the old lady. It's the, you know. Yeah. Golden girls.

And it's like, we're in their 50s in the show.

Right? Exactly. And I'm like, wow. Like that. That's me now. You know, I just have to come to the state of acceptance. But there was something in me, and I'm like, hold on. I'm 40.

You're like, bitch, I'm a Latina.

Yeah. And I'm like, it does not compute. And I didn't let it compute. And I'm telling you right now, in this stage of my life, being postmenopausal, I feel better than I ever did. I feel better than I did in my early 30s, you know, like.

And what's that sex life like?

Girl, I'm just saying I don't want to expose too much, because then I.

The rumors ain't true.

She's, you know, content. You know, I. I car wash up in. There we go. But, like, for. For people. Because people might ask, I am on hrt, so I am on hormone replacement therapy. And I think that for. For women out there, does it give you a period? No.

Okay. Because my grandma was taking some sort of medication that she was getting her period until, like, she was 90. Girl.

Because they put. A lot of the times they put women on birth control, but she wanted it. Yeah. I mean, because it's. To me, when I. So that was the first thing that I got prescribed when I got. Got put on medication, people would make.

You get your period.

Yeah. It's a. It's like a chemical bleed. Okay. Yeah.

She was like, this is making me stay young. Yeah.

But that's. And so.

And just psychological.

Yeah. And to be honest, like, when I was having it, it did kind of make you feel like you still had your youth somehow. But I'm on a different sort of protocol now. And. And the fact that I don't get it is fine.

And so it's just making you lose uterine lining, but for no purpose.

Yeah. I mean, so the purpose is, I believe it's in a birth control when they prescribe it, and I'm not a doctor, so disclaimer here. From what I know is in the birth control that I was getting there was, you know, you have to have. If you're taking estrogen, and it's good to take progesterone as well, because if you take too much estrogen is not good. And if you just take too Much progesterone, it might not be good. So in a birth control, it's essentially telling your body that it's pregnant. Right. So it's taking you through all of the cycles of, you know, your. Your cycle as a woman, you know, your luteal cycle, your.

Well, it's not taking you through ovulation. It would be like luteal's premenstrual.

Right.

Menstrual, follicular, ovulatory.

Right, right, right. So it's taking you cycles, and when it's time for your bleed, it sheds the. The lining. You know, I. I still actually don't know why you get a period, you know, aside from my doctor at the time telling me, I think it's just.

The withdrawal, bleeding between the pills, because it's just like those days are just.

Sugar pills and it's chemical because you're not. There's no egg to release. Right. It's just. I mean, when you are postmenopausal, like, there's no egg, so.

But it's interesting because it's like. I mean, this is a whole other podcast.

Yeah, this is a whole other podcast, to be honest.

The medical thing. Yes. But also youth, you know, and, like, like, I loved my grandma's, like, zest for life, but it was like she was really trying to hold on to that youth.

Yeah.

You know, rather than like, oh, I'm a crone, you know, and it's like, how can we, like, honor the seasons and chapters of life? I remember the first time when I. I sat with plant medicine of marijuana on the beach in Trinidad, and it was the first time I smoked weed in, like, over 10 years. I was never into it, and it took me to my future self. And she had gray, short hair, and she was, like, dressed in all these, like, colorful, like, Frida Kahlo vibe, but, like, in a Persian way. And she was, like, a little chubby, and she, like, lived in this pagoda in Costa Rica, and she had, like, grandkids, but they were, like, grown and. And they had their kids with her, and she was just, like, so badass and so herself. Like, she had these walls of, like, plaques of, like, Grammys and this and that, and she just, like, lived it up. And I was just like, yo, what happened? I thought I was going blonde. Like, you know, like, why do I look like this?

I love that.

And she was like, it's okay. You're still into, you know, the US Beauty standards today. You still use filters on your stories and, you know, all the things that you're doing, but one day you'll grow out of it. And I was just thinking like this. So this was like over, over almost two years ago now that this happened. I was like, I don't know about you, granny, you know, but then, since then, the medicine is what made me stop using filters on everything. I did go blonde. But like I do trust that one day, like when I am going gray, like I will like accept it and, and to do it. And it's like we have this vision of getting old is golden girls. Old, wrinkly, forgotten. So it's like you either have to like accept that or be young.

Yeah.

And it's like this other side.

Yeah, I like the other side, you.

Know, which is like postmenopausal. Yes, I'm a crone. Yes, I'm in my 40s. Yes, I've gained this wisdom and through just feeding myself the foods that are best for my body.

Yeah. And doing the movement and doing the.

Movement that's actually more self loving. Killing myself and hit every day.

Yeah.

I actually look and feel better than ever before. Not because this is the beauty standard, but because I'm at the right weight for my body, you know. And like I feel like that it's like aging gracefully.

Yeah. Well, and I want to speak to that portion too because I didn't say about the high intensity workout. So it's like I was doing. I was going to like Bunda twice a day, you know, I was like, really? I was running five miles a day and doing high intensity workout and just kind of taxing myself the, the shit that I would do in my 20s. Right. And it's like, like, I don't want to treat my body this way anymore. It went from like, oh no, that feels good. I'm an athlete. Like, I really want to push myself to. Damn. Like, I don't want to do that. I want to like walk. I want to walk. I want to do pilates. I want to do some hatha yoga. I want to do some yoga Nidra. I want to do stuff that's going to make me feel good and home. Right. And so, so it was really just sort of taking that turn and doing that and coming into that, that place of yeah, I want the other. I don't want this sort of vying for youth and really just wanting to hold on to that thread of like, you know, I still want to shop at Forever 21 and I still want to like be young. I want to be where I'm at now. I want to be 40 I love. I love being 40. Like, I love it. Nobody can tell me it. You can't tell me nothing. Right. It's like I'm so much more confident. I'm making more money than I ever have my entire life. I have the best relationship I've ever had. I have an amazing home. Like, I do volunteer work. Like, I've got. I've got an amazing community. Like, I'm literally living my best life right now.

So.

So it's like, I want to. To be able to take that and show people, like, there is no. Oh, it's all downhill from here. Right. Like, it. It doesn't get better. It does. It does get better. You know, you just. You really have. You have to do the work. It's not.

And because you're embracing it, there's just so many women who are like, you Carls are so lucky. You're still in your 20s. You still have such a fast metabolism, and you still. And it's that longing to be somewhere that you're not that creates the misery.

Yeah. So. So it's more about. Well, the mindset. The mindset is. Is huge. And that was really the sort of foundation of. Of being able to make this change, I think, because we don't realize what we believe has so much to do with how we feel. Right.

And if we've learned the lessons from that chapter, we're not trying to go back. I feel we're trying to go back when we didn't learn the lessons.

Yeah.

Like, we have the universal phases of a woman life. Maiden, mother, crone is like what they. What they call it. Maiden is like we're learning. We're naive. You know, we date the bad boy and get hurt. We, you know, fall for things that look glittery on the outside but aren't. You know, we want to be known by the whole world and loved and admired, and it's like that. And then through getting enough bruises and scratches, we're like, okay, I'm gonna take this wisdom and, like, you know, and I do feel we need to have another one because, like, I feel like. Like, mother is very. Then it's like physical mother. I feel like let's innovate that to, like, you know, whether you want to call it woman or. I don't know what. What would you call.

I don't know. I think we need to. I think this is a whole other episode, though.

I want to finish this, though. The woman who have not gone into this next woman stage. Like, for me, on my plant medicine journey, it Was like, you want to be with a man? Are you acting as a woman or are you acting as a girl? Girl. And it showed me all the ways that I was still being a girl. I was. Because we don't go through initiations anymore. We don't go through rites of passage. It's so easy to say, well, the men aren't initiated. They're still boys, we're still girls, you know. And it actually. That really shifted my frequency. And I'm sure y' all can feel the difference in me since then of like, a girl is vying for people's attention. A girl is vying for people's approval. A girl is.

I don't know.

Well, like, let's just give it a try. And not honoring her boundaries and letting people take advantage of. Of her and people pleasing and. And codependency. And then trust me, these things will always come up. But it's like operating as a. As a girl is again that seeking outside of ourselves, seeking to be saved. Being in the princess, you know, which we were voiced about this morning, right? Being in your princess era is waiting for the man to come save you. The guy with the money, the guy with the house, he's going to save you. You don't have to do your own shit, you know, who do they end up with? The fucking predator, you know, who says, oh, little helpless princess over here. Yeah, I'm gonna give you everything you ever wanted. Come this way. I got candy in my. In my bus. You know, just sign these marriage papers and now pay for my life. You know, it's like. And that keeps happening, you know, and it's like, so we need to. Because there's no initiation. There's no. You know, I think motherhood is probably the closest initiation because it's like you literally change that. You're like, I can't just be about myself. But before that, we need to self initiate, you know, and for me, like, being as a woman, it. Yeah, I just. My priorities shifted. The way I speak shift. That's why also probably the way I dress shifts too, that it was like I was married, you know, in my whole. I was in that relationship from 24 years old to almost 32 years old, you know, so I was walking and being almost like a woman when I was a girl, you know, I was focusing on my business. I didn't go out. I was just very like routine that. Because I didn't have that. I was like, oh my God, like, what do girls do? What did people. I've never dated in my life, like, how does this work? You know, it's like, okay, you do this and that. And it's like. But it's not the truth of who I am, because I'm 33 years old now, you know, so it's like, some women stay there, but it was like, okay, I got to taste that. And it's like. And I'm not 24, you know, and then walking as a woman, and then. So then we have our. Our woman stage of our lives. And then the crone, you know, and the crone often is postmenopausal. But it's honestly when we start. Start not being just of service to the family, you know, and start being of service to, like, humanity. And that's like, grandmother energy. And that's honestly the chapter of life I'm the most excited for. I'm like, I can't wait to be a grandmother. And, like, just like a wisdom keeper and hold that and, like, create, like, a legacy and a lineage. And, you know, I feel like when you're a grandmother, like, you can, like, help without, like, the personal, like, okay, I need to make sure you got to school and. But it's like. And you're thinking bigger, and you're not so concerned about people's opinions and mistakes. You're like, in that last season of life.

Yeah, that's true.

You know, and I think there's such beauty to that. And it's like, how interesting that we've made elderlies, like, thrown away in elderly homes where no one hears from them. And, you know, and that's the reason why a lot of them are senile, is because they're not treated with respect. You don't see that happening in Asia. You know, grandparents always lived with families. Yeah.

Or like, Hispanic cultures, too.

Yeah, exactly. But in American culture, they're not. So the separation is often what makes them say these really unwarranted things. And then there's, like, micro seasons within that, too. You know, it's like, then we're not holding on. We're not. You know, I think there's something so cute about, like, when you see these old grandmas, they're, like, dressing in their Forever 21 outfits and festivals and things like that. But then there's also something so beautiful about the grandma who's just, like, long, gray, silver hair and, you know, like, woman who run, run with wolves, like that author, like, that vibe. I'm like, I can't wait.

Yeah, no, I am. I'm with you. I love that. I think I. I Would really just love to break any sort of like preconceived ideals of. Of what media that's mostly been created by men.

Yeah, they don't even know. Yeah, so they don't even know what periods are they.

They literally, literally, they have no idea.

So they're like menopause, like. Yeah, like these beauty standards are placed by men and guys. Who was actually their hottest at 21? None of us were. We're all better looking when we get older.

This is true.

So who the fuck put in people's heads that 21 year old girls are the hottest? You're not. You're like a child. You don't know how to dress.

You still have baby fat on my.

Yeah, totally have had baby fat. Like I'm 10,000 times hotter and like better. So it's like, it's like you're a child. Like you men are dumb. Whoever created the system because like the sexier and hornier girls are older, you know, but good luck with the 21 year olds because they're the ones who are the most likely to want to get married. You know, they're like, we want young girls so they're not like trying to get married. It's like all they're thinking about is getting married, homie. You know? But good luck with that theory.

Yeah, let us know how that works out for you.

Yeah, good thing you don't listen to this podcast anyway.

I think.

Don't send it. Don't send this to them.

Yeah, send it to. Send it to them.

Actually send it to them.

Yeah, send it or not or send it.

Let them keep up learning from their own mistakes.

Thanks.

Let us be free. Let the men who get it, get it. But that being said, I do feel it's like every time someone that I date comes into my life and then they leave, I'm like, okay, what is this next chapter? So I do feel being single, you go through a lot more chapters quicker than when you're in relationship. Because when you're in a relationship, you slow down because there's another person. So if I'm like, now I'm this, no, I'm that no, I'm going to live here now. I'm just that it would be like I almost couldn't to maintain the relationship.

Yeah.

You know, I have to go at a shared speed together. It still happens. Whereas when you're single, I feel like, yeah, like everyone I talk to who's being single is like constant lessons and learnings. Like if you talk to a single person, like One week in our lives is not the same as your guys's lives.

I know, I know that.

Yeah. It's like you hang out with a single person, two months later, entirely new personality, you know, why is it that like, it's like relationships and being sing. It's like because you're learning because it's.

It'S a, it's a reflection of, of you. You know, you're. You're learning about your most inner desires, likes, dislikes. It is the ultimate spiritual practice. Getting to know people, getting to know.

And, and you're setting yourself up for a new life and you're setting. Yeah. So you marry someone or you date someone with a kid. You're like trying on a lot life.

Yes.

Could I be someone's stepmom? You're dating someone who works all. You're trying on a new life and also you're in such close proximity to them, you're talking every day that it's like you're literally in a new lifestyle.

Yeah. It's like trying on a glove. Like, that's very, like a brand new glove that's very rigid. And it's like dating is like you keep taking it off, putting it on, take it off, put. After a while, it's like the reason why it becomes so easy to go from one chapter to the next and to be like really into somebody and then really over somebody is because you've just learned that glove is broken in and you're like, oh, I know how to take this off. I know how to put this on.

Because I was so afraid. I think a lot of single people, like, when you first become single, you're like, oh my God, I'm never gonna find love. And then if you find it with someone, you find even just chemistry with someone, you're holding onto it. You're like, oh my God, I might never find this again. It's so hard being alone. And then like, it doesn't work and then it keeps happening and then you're just like, like, oh, actually I'm good on like I told you the other day, I was like, honestly, it's better to be single than to be in the wrong relationship. Because at least when you're single, it's just you, you're free, you know, of course you're gonna miss the companionship, but you have friends, you know, and. But when you're in the wrong relationship, like that shit really fucks up your life. Like you see people and women and men lose themselves, you know, Know they change chapters for the Worse.

Yeah.

You know, and it's like, at least when you're single, like, yeah, it's very confronting, but it's like you are confronting yourself, you know? I think the biggest dilemma now in our time, which we've talked about, is now, like, okay, there's all these different seasons and chapters. Once you've been dating for a while now, it's easy to be like, okay, that's not gonna work. Like, wish you well. Now it's like, okay, when do we decide that it can work? Because that could also go on.

Oh, this is a whole set forever. So that's a part two.

That's a part 700. So I'll let you know when I know. So. Yeah. So at a. As your recap, I want you to give a message to anyone that's, like, afraid of getting older and being in their 40s, losing their period. What wisdom would you like to share?

I would say it gets better. It always gets better. I think we come from this mindset of if it's not exactly how we want things to be, it gets worse, but it doesn't. I think that I. What I've learned is that I didn't. I didn't know how good things could be, because in my mind, I had just set up this one sort of idealized life that I never got and that I don't have. And if I would have just married that ideal, I wouldn't be living the life that I'm living now, which is so much better than I could have ever imagined. Like, so much better. And so I would say to those women who are going through those chapter changes and are really kind of going through it, whether it's a breakup, whether it's, you know, you're a mom now or whether you wanted to be a mom and you're not able to be a mom, I would just say to listen to that voice inside that we all have that is reassuring us that everything works out, and there's a knowing and an empowerment in just being exactly where you are and that being perfect.

Thank you for sharing. And I'll share a little tidbit for anyone going through a divorce or a breakup right now. Oh, God, you're in it. It hurts. It feels like your entire world is collapsing, and you don't know if there will ever be a day that you wake up and not cry. And one day you'll just notice that maybe the tears come a little later in the day, and then maybe another day you'll notice I actually didn't even cry. Today yet, you know, and then another day you might notice, like, oh, like, normally this thing that, like, really pisses me off and sends me into a spiral. I just brushed off it and it was a day that goes out. You don't check their Instagram. And, you know, it's gradual and gradual and gradual. And that's how you know you are healing, you know, and then there may be a wave that comes that you're, like, way back in it, deeper than you've ever been, and you're like. You're like, no, I thought I was healed. And, like, it's been months, but, like, here I am. And it's like the waves get further but deeper because you have more safety in your body to be able to feel things and connect dots that you couldn't have seen when you were close to it. So as you get further away from it, you're, like, going up, like the atmosphere, right? So now you know, before you could see your hometown, now you're seeing your state, now you're seeing your country. Now you're seeing, like, planet Earth. Now you're seeing, like, whoa, this is how it's connected to my childhood, but my grandparents and my lineage and karmic and past lives. And it's like you're starting to notice patterns of, like, things that you would have never been able to see before. And then slowly these patterns start to all make sense, and then piecing them together starts to shape you and the direction of your life. And then you see yourself living an entirely different reality than you ever would have been in. In that relationship. Just like how she said, said you thought you would maybe have the baby, but here you are without it. It's like maybe you thought, you know, you thought you would be married for the rest of your life, and now you're not. And it's like. And now you're living this reality. It's like God gave you a second chance. You got a second lease on life. And, you know, they say youth is wasted on the youth. And sometimes that's true. It's like sometimes we get to have that freedom again later on in our lives that now we know to go big with it, you know, to do it up, to not be so concerned. And what a gift. Gift to firsthand have the experience of realizing that nothing is eternal safety and stability on this planet. Nothing is. Everything changes. Everything has seasons, everything has cycles. And instead of that scaring you, letting that excite you, because we all want a surprise party, right? And this life is a surprise party. And there's boozy ass in that pinata. And, you know, you might get a sports car on the other side. Like, who the fuck knows it's going to be so lit. But thank God you didn't manifest everything you wanted. Like, thank God for that. Like, imagine if, like, at 20, God was like, everything you want right now. The partner, the home, the. Everything is set in stone at 20 and it can never change. It's like, that would have sucked. I mean, I'd be living in India. Wouldn't be so bad for me. But. No, but it would not have been this reality for sure. I did not know any of these things that I'm sharing with you right now. So I share this because, yeah, it does keep getting better, should you choose it. So when the shitty thing happens, even though you have no evidence, decide, oh, this is the very reason why I actually have everything in my life. This heartbreak. No, no, it's not the reason why I could never trust again. It's the reason why I actually had the greatest love of my life. Wouldn't have been possible without this. And make that your story before you have the evidence. Because that's how you find the evidence. Evidence. Because whatever you look for in life, you'll find it. If you look for, I can never trust again. And so it is if you look for, oh, thank Goddess I got out, God saved me out of that relationship. Because there's something so much greater. There's a love that I could have never imagined before. A level of being met that I could have never imagined before. A synergy I could have never imagined before all the things that were missing in that relationship. There is another relationship that is awaiting me. And it takes for me to become the version of me that can maintain and hold that relationship. And that's what this journey is. And it's not instant. And thank God it's not instant because the journey of becoming allows you to actually embody that thing. Because, by the way, that thing is not permanent either. The next relationship's not permanent. Nothing's permanent. But if you calibrate to that reality, that is what's permanent within you. You. Well, I can't even say that's because it actually just keeps getting better. Right? But you never go back in consciousness. As long as you're learning, you're growing, you're integrating, you know, no crone is like, I wish I went back to being a maiden that didn't know shit. Like the embodied crone or like, bless all the stages. Would have loved some better knees, right Now. But I love being a crone. And that's what. That's what we want. We want to be fully where we are. So bless the heartbreak because it led to the heart opening. Bless the betrayal because it taught you how to trust yourself. Bless the uncertainty because it led to your. Your. You finding your own path. Those things. If you decide to take the story needed to happen for you to become this version of you, I guarantee you're going to be the calm, the most empowered version of you. So that's what I got to say. All right. Thank you so much, Rosil, for being on this episode today.

Anytime.

We'll have her links below in the show notes. And if you love this, please leave a review for it. Let us know what other conversations you would love for us to have have in the podcast review location. So you just go to podcast app, hit review on bottom, leave a review, tell us what you loved, tell us what else you'd love for us to talk about. Take a screenshot shot and email it over to me, and I will send you a free gift, which is my womb meditation. So just email it over to me@saharaiamsaharose.com you can find that email and all the links I've mentioned today in the show notes. Send this to a friend. Have a deeper conversation. Be like, what is your season right now? What's mine? Define it. Maybe have like. Like a fun, like, moon circle where you guys draw a picture of your chapter and season. Oh, that's a fun activity. Like, I'm in my this season and, like, write words and draw a picture and talk about what that is. Like, that's such a cool way of, like, bringing your friends in on that journey, you know, because sometimes it's like we don't even know what it is. So expressing it to other people helps us remember what that is. So listen to the podcast. Do your ritual. Have fun. Have a blast. I don't know why she's laughing. She's making me start laughing. So keep laughing. Keep it sexy. I will see you in the next episode.

Peace.

Trust your intuition. Trust your inner wisdom. Trust your inner guidance. Close your eyes and listen. So trust your intuition. Trust your inner wisdom. Trust your inner guidance.