577: Why Celibacy Enhances Your Creativity, Spirituality + Magnetizes True Love with Sahara Rose

When I share with people that I've been celibate for two years, many people can't believe it. But then I have. A lot of other women are like, I have to. Why is this such a secret? Why is this something that we feel ashamed about? The truth is, celibacy is not hard at all when you decide that you're only going to have sex with someone who you desire to be in partnership with. And I believe it's part of a greater agenda to disconnect women from their true femininity, to make women operate like men. I believe sex is so beautiful and sacred, but that's not the way that the media is depicting it. They're depicting it as, oh, well, men around you can too. And that is feminism. But it actually causes so much emotional damage in women. Your field right now is a reflection of you. And the way that we shift fields, shift timelines, and shift frequencies is to actually step away from that reality, to decide. I am removing any connection in my life that does not feel reciprocal. Let's set the bar higher, ladies. Our wombs, for seven years, according to Mayan wisdom, hold onto the imprints of our sexual partners. And this is why it's so important to be doing womb clearing, especially in times that we are not in relationship. And what does womb clearing look like? Well, trust flows. Welcome back to the Highest Self podcast. My name is Sahara Rose, and on this podcast, I love to talk about spirituality, but make it more feminine, fun, relatable, so it can actually serve your needs. I've been doing this podcast for almost eight years now. Been on the spiritual journey for really my entire life. But my. My obstacles in life, from health challenges to issues with my family to overcoming a divorce, are what led me deeper into the more feminine approach to spirituality. So this approach has dove in me deep into embodiment, into womb wisdom, into ancient teachings which I love to share and make accessible here on this podcast. So welcome wherever you are. I am so excited we have crossed paths at this time because I just got back from training in womb wisdom in Guatemala, and there were so many codes that I received from the ancient elders there who have been passing this ancient wisdom along for thousands of years. You know, colonialism has made spiritual teachings illegal in many countries, and not just in South America, but we've seen this colonialism in India and all parts of the world. So many ancestors have actually died and had to go underground to keep this wisdom alive. So I am so honored to be able to share some of these teachings here with you today. And before we drop into this episode, be sure to hit subscribe wherever you're listening to this podcast. That is the best way to stay up to date on the latest episodes. We've got this in video format, so if you're just hearing my voice, be sure to also watch our fabulous outfits on video as well on Spotify, YouTube or the Apple Store. This is the best way to stay in the flow with future conversations and also allows the podcast to reach more people. So hit subscribe so I can keep vibing with you on all future episodes. Now let's get into this one. And in today's episode, I want to specifically focus on celibacy. Now, this is a term you've probably heard of before. Most of us think to be celibate is to take a chastity vow forever and to be a nun. And it's a word that maybe we hear in a religious context, but it's actually something I am seeing really coming up in the collective right now and something that I have intentionally been practicing for two years. So let's get into it. So first, celibacy is to make the conscious choice to not engage in sex. Except for whatever condition you put. For me, it is to be in an actual partnership. Now, a lot of us, especially women, we desire partnership. We desire love. We desire that deep intimacy. However, because society has convinced us that casual sex even exists, we have gaslighted ourselves and made ourselves think that it's okay if, you know, guy's only interested in my body and he's probably not going to text me back. And maybe he's love bombing me and telling me the things I want to hear, but I don't really believe him. But I feel like I need this physical intimacy from someone, so I'm just going to do it anyway, right? And I think many of us have been there and there's zero shame in that. You know, whatever your path was to get here to this moment was exactly what your soul needed. So if there are memories that come up of times that you maybe opened your body to someone that was not fully respecting you, please forgive yourself for that. You know, it's all part of the path. And at any given moment we can make a different conscious choice. And I feel like right now a lot of us are actually choosing intentionally to be more mindful of our sexual energy because our sexual energy is the most powerful energy that we have. You know, our sexual energy is what literally creates life. Every single one of us, every human on this planet, meaning every idea, every creation, every manifestation, comes from sexual energy. And not just humans, but again, birthing ideas, music, projects, art, innovation, technology, architecture. All of the things that are brought and manifested from the intangible to the tangible are through our sexual energy, our sacral chakra, the kundalini energy. So you may have heard these words, the sacral chakra is the second chakra. It's located right where your womb is, right underneath your belly button. And it is psychosomatically the energy of creativity, abundance, pleasure. So when we are just kind of throwing away our sexual energy at whoever, you know, we meet someone, we don't really like them, but we're like, let me just like see where it goes. We're throwing away our creative energy there. Or just dating someone, even though it's not really going anywhere, but like you're bored or you feel lonely throwing away your creative energy there. All of these different connections that we build are leaks in our energy. Because the way that energy is, it's designed to be direct towards your manifestation, right? If your manifestation is to have healthy partnership, you may believe, because society tells us we'll date as many people as possible, right? Date as many people as possible, try as many people as possible. And like, one of them should hit. Have you recently gone through a heartbreak that rocked your world? And honestly, you're still maybe picking up the pieces. You've learned so much from this experience, but you also know there's so much more awaiting you. And probably you have an intuitive sense that this was meant to happen for you to become your highest self. Well, I've been there. At the end of 2022, I found out that my then husband had been cheating on me. And it was the most horrible news I've ever gotten. But now looking back on it, I can say it was my life's greatest blessing. Because without that, I would have never left the marriage. Where honestly, we were quite incompatible in many different ways. But it took me getting to that level for me to actually see what was not working in the relationship and for me to set off and create this new life where I traveled the world for a year, started producing music, singing, rapping, dropped an album called My Body is an Altar that has hundreds of thousands of streams around Spotify. Creating music videos, moving to la, dressing in these really cute outfits, becoming my fullest expression, and most importantly, not having anything in my consciousness that I'm afraid of anymore. I have become truly liberated. And that is the gift of a heartbreak. So all my friends would come to me when they would go through their heartbreaks. I know A lot of people are in it right now. And this is why I've decided to create my ultimate heartbreak healing course. So it guides you step by step with the exact tools and realizations that I used on myself during my heartbreak that have allowed me to not just heal from it, but become this version of me that I am frankly obsessed with. So for 33 days, every single day, I will be guiding you through a practice journal prompt will be writing poetry, healing, and transmuting so much. But most importantly, taking this as the opportunity for you to become the version of you that you've always felt it was too soon to be. So I'm so excited for you to get started. As soon as you join the course, you can get started. On day one, I have seen insane transformations and I can't wait to see what awaits you on the other side. So head over to iam saharrose.com Heartbreak and use coupon code podcast for $50 off. Again, that's I Am Sahara S A H- A R A rose.com Heartbreak and use coupon Code podcast for $50 off. You can find that link in the show notes. And I'm super excited for you to meet the version of you that's on the other side. Imagine if I took the approach in my career that I was like, you know what? I really want to write a book, a book on Ayurveda. But, you know, since I don't have the book deal yet, I'm going to, you know, get this random job over here and maybe over there and maybe try something el and then, you know, maybe spend my time volunteering here and then taking on this random project and this and that. What do you think is going to get me to writing a book faster? If I put all my focus and energy towards writing a book, preparing for writing a book, figuring out how to write a book and clear on my path, or if I dispersed my energy into all of these different projects, ideas, things that I wasn't even sure about or even clear that I didn't want because at least it's available right now, right? And that's how most of us are using our sexual energy. We're giving our energy to people who honestly don't deserve it. So let's talk about that for a moment. You know, people always tell me, they're like, you've had such a glow up after your divorce. How did you shift and evolve so much? And I would say celibacy is probably the number one reason of it. Because I see my body and My womb and my sexual energy as sacred. And I only intentionally share it with those who see it as sacred. Where there is a heart and a yoni connection and for me, where there is a long term commitment. Because I'm looking for life partnership. So for me though there are people that may be attractive or maybe a good experience, it's just not worth going on all the different exits on the highway when I know the direction I really want to be going. So instead of wasting my time and giving my sexual energy away to all of these people that are not going anywhere, that are not respected me, that are not showing up for me, that are not honoring me, that do not see me as the goddess that I see myself, instead I have put all of that energy back into myself, into my self love, into knowing my body, into healing, clearing my womb space and calling in the type of partnership and relationships that I desire in my life. And you see a massive glow up happen. Because as a woman, our womb is a hologram. We are literally inviting someone inside of our body. So it is a lot more of actually an intimate experience than it is with men. It is extremely intimate for men as well. However, we are literally putting someone inside of our bodies, right? So we are taking on their energy. And I always say, do not have sex with someone who you would not want to become because you are becoming that person. Your body believes I am potentially creating a child with this person. And biologically, the moment that you have sex with someone, even if in your mind you've told yourself it's casual, you're going to be releasing oxytocin, which is going to make you chemically bond with that person and see them as potentially the father of your children. Especially until your next menstrual cycle, that first month. The reason why you're obsessed with them is a biological factor, is because biologically your body thinks I might have a child with this person. So let me be as close to them as possible. Let me nest with them, let me make sure they're not with anyone else. So when you literally invite someone into your body, you know, and even with condoms, there is still a massive energy exchange happening. You are becoming them, right? You, your body potentially thinks you have their child and then you are going to want to be near them. That I see this happen with so many women, they weren't even really interested in the guy, but they're like, you know what, like, haven't been laid in a while, let me just give it a go. And then after they have sex, they're Like, I don't know what it is. I'm, like, in love with him now. And now they're in love with someone that they didn't even initially like before. But that's their body's way of saying, stay close to this person. You may have a child with them, and it's actually only until the first menstrual cycle that your body is like, okay, well, we didn't have a child with them. But still the heart is connected. You know, our wombs for seven years, according to Mayan wisdom, hold onto the imprints of our sexual partners. So anyone that has been inside of your field for the past seven years, you're still going to be carrying an imprint of. And this is why it's so important to be doing womb clearing, especially in times that we are not in relationship. And what does womb clearing look like? Well, that's exactly what I've been studying. There is so much here that women don't talk about, and I believe it's part of a greater agenda to disconnect women from their true femininity. You know, to make women operate like men, to normalize. And, you know, I believe sex is so beautiful and sacred, but that's not the way that the media is depicting it. You know, they're depicting it as, oh, well, men fuck around. You can too. And that is feminism. That is empowerment. But it actually causes so much emotional damage in women. And I'm already hearing the voices of. That's sexist. Not only are there biological factors, but there are emotional factors there. Talk to your girlfriends. You know, very, very, very few women actually walk away from a sexual encounter feeling like 100% met most of the time. The women are desiring a deeper emotional connection. And to the man, it may not have been that at all. You know, men do biologically have an easier time disconnecting their heart to their lingam, which is their. Their penis. Yoni is. Is vagina in ancient Sanskrit, but it really means so much more. The yoni is the portal, and the lingam is the life giver. So, again, I love to use these more sacred words than these, like, you know, anatomical words that I feel like, again, disconnect us from the true sacredness of our bodies and the act of sexuality that for thousands of years was our spiritual practice in ancient India. Kama Sutra. If you go down to the temples in Khajaraho, you can see all of the temples dedicated to sexual practice. You know, in ancient Egypt and all of these different places, these were all part of their initiatory rites. But it wasn't just done casually with some person who's never going to talk to you again. It was done in divine union and partnership, where you are transferring energy to one another, where you consciously know you are becoming one another and you are creating something so much greater. And that is truly what sexuality is meant for. It is meant for creation, whether it is creating a child or creating a business or art or even just a beautiful moment in time. But there needs to be safety there. And when women do not feel safe, they cannot open. And again, most women have convinced themselves, oh, I don't actually even want a relationship. You know, I don't actually need that. And even the celibacy can feel like this thing you want to get out of the way. You know, when I share with people that I've been celibate for two years, they. Many people can't believe it. But then I have a whole. A lot of other women are like, I have to. And it's like, why is this such a secret? You know, like, why is this something that we feel ashamed about? The truth is, celibacy is not hard at all. When you decide that you're only gonna have sex with someone who you desire to be in partnership with. Like, it's. It's actually quite easy, you know, when you decide, I only want to share my sexual energy with someone who sees my body as an altar and sees the sacred site is me, it's not so challenging. And this is why I called my album that came out on Women's Day this year. My Body is an Altar. Because it was then, after my divorce, that I decided I will only share my energy with someone who sees me as a sacred site, who sees my body as an altar, who sees me as a goddess, so I can see him as a God man, and we can come together in sacred union. And it starts with us respecting ourselves, of making that decision. Because I know what it's like to feel so lonely. And I know what it's like to feel that deep feminine yearning of, I just want to be held. I just want to be loved. I just want to be ravished. Like, where is my man? And it feels so far away. So you're like, in the meant, let me just text that guy that I know it's not going anywhere, but he's available, and, you know, we have kind of good chemistry. Or let me just text that X. Or let me just text that whoever. And the thing is now your sexual and your creative, your most powerful manifestation energy that you have available to you in this lifetime is going towards some fuck boy who isn't going to text you back for a month. Like that's literally where you're sending it off to like some Bro Joe, you know, who like, you don't even like him, right? And then like maybe two weeks later he's gonna like, like your story and then like slide through again. Maybe he's gonna send you some fire emoticons and you're like, you know what? I'm fucking lonely. So let me just give this a go. And then guess what? Your body once again thinks you're pregnant with Bro Jo's babies. And you're like, why am I obsessed with him again? Why do I keep checking my stories and see if he was watching my stories? And it begins again and now again, you may have met like love of your life may have walked right by you. Energy is going into Bro Jo. So this is why it's so important for us to be intentional. You know, whoever we attract in our lives is a mirror to us. So do you want a sacred union partner who was fucking some random girls all along the way because he couldn't really be alone until he met you. And then like all of a sudden he's decided he's like only committing to you for the rest of your life. Do you even think that's possible? Or do you want to be with someone who has their own sexual mastery? Who, yes, there are temptations in life, but he is choosing to stay devoted until he meets someone who can meet him. Because a man who's able to say no is able to say no to the temptations that happen even in relationship. And a man that shares his sexual energy with anyone is likely going to continue that practice. Because getting into a relationship, maybe for a little bit of time you're on your best behavior, but your true self is going to come out. So who you actually are in the singlehood is the version of you you're going to be bringing into this relationship. I know for myself I desire to be with someone who has sexual mastery. I desire to be with someone who is able to think long term and not go based on just temptations and addictions which sexual very easily can become. I want to be with someone that in time periods that we are not together can self soothe self source self pleasure and not again blasting out their sexual energy to pornography, which is a whole entity that is really destroying so many relationships, causing so much erectile dysfunction and so much just disconnection between the masculine, feminine, not to mention the human trafficking involved, but someone who is actually able to feel their body, feel their subtle energy, connect to what pleasure feels like within themselves without the need to have someone else for a mutual masturbation. What most sex is today is mutual masturbation. Using each other's bodies to bump and grind against. They are not actually making love to one another. They are using one another to scratch a temporary itch. And what happens after we scratch that itch? Guess what? We got those mosquito bites. I had so many of them in Guatemala, they fucking itch like hell. And I'm scratching them, scratching them, scratching them. And it felt orgasmic at the time. Two seconds later comes back with a vengeance. And that's what meaningless sex is. You think, oh my God, I haven't had sex in three months. Which for some people is very, very long time. Haven't sex in three months. I'm just gonna get laid. I'm just gonna, you know, meet up with that person on hinge and like, whatever, it does not scratch the itch that only true partnership can bring you. You're just gonna be left more hungry. And especially for women, you know, for a woman, even in sexuality, you know, the Kama Sutra says that women need to have two orgasms before they even have penetrative sex. And the more orgasms we have, the more turned on we become, the more that we open. We are like roses. That is actually the first couple of petals on the outside need to unfold for like the true beauty of us to come out. So, woman, we are meant to be multi orgasmic, right? But first of all, a lot of us, let me be real. I think most women don't even have sex orgasms through intercourse at all, Let alone with someone you don't trust, you don't love, you don't even maybe know that. Well, for sure. You're not even having an orgasm. And on top of that, once you do have sex, you're gonna want more of it. It's not scratching an itch, but rather it's just going to show you all of the voids that were missing in that encounter. Because there's nothing worse than being with someone in your head wondering, do they even like me? Are they even to call me after this? Like, I've had so many friends feel that and it's like, were you even enjoying it or did it feel like something you just needed to do? And I think when they really sit down with themselves, it just feels like just what they're used to, right? And I remember for myself of consciously Deciding that people were like, there's no way you're going to be able to commit to that. And especially after the first year, I'm like, oh my God, I'm so grateful for it because I've birthed an album, six music videos, two new certifications in my school, traveled the world, like, created more money than I ever have before. Like, really started living life of my dreams, studied in Egypt, goddess cultures in Nevada City, gone to Guatemala, sat with Ayahuasca, Wachuma. Like, I have radically shifted my whole entire life, every single aspect of who I am, my career, my friendships, how I show up the world, how I speak, how I think, my relationship with my family. Because I put that focus on me. I put that focus in my healing. And I know that all of the energy that I'm holding right now is me. All parts of me are called back to me and not fragments of someone else that I am subconsciously operating from. And it really takes time to clear the womb. After romantic relationships, especially long term ones, you know, you might think you're over it, but the womb, the body, she remembers and she's still carrying it. So this is why, And I, and I told you guys, I would, I would talk about some clearing practices, yoni steaming. Yoni steaming is an ancient practice in almost every tradition from ancient Chinese, even emperors would do anal steaming as well as the woman would do yoni steaming in African culture, Middle Eastern culture, Latin American culture. So it's essentially creating a tea of different herbs and you will use local herbs to where you're from. So in the United States, we use a lot of mugwort. Every part of the world will have their own lots of just cleansing and clearing herbs. And you will create a teapot. Like you will use a big bucket and either squat or put some wood or actually they have amazing electrical yoni steamers available online for you to get that even have infrared light on them. So it literally looks like a toilet bowl, but it can boil water in there. And they even have like different settings of how hot you want it to be. And if you want to add the red light and you sit over it and it's not, it doesn't at all feel sexual or anything like that, but it actually really connects you to your womb space. And these herbs are cleansing and clearing. Because think about it, when have you ever even allowed anything, any sun, any, any healing to come inside your body? And it's really going straight into your bloodstream. And not only is it clearing energetically, but it's also really great for a whole host of health issues. So yoni steaming is one I recommend for every single woman, whether you are menstruating or not, whether you are sexually active or not, they're in partnership or not. It is so important for a woman's health. So again, if you just Google Yoni steaming, you'll find many herbs. There's like ready made herbs. Just make sure you only buy herbs. Sometimes they'll put like other things, colors. We do not want to be using douching or soaps or any kind of thing you put in there for your, your yoni to smell like cotton candy. We do not want any of that because that can actually lead to bacteria overgrowth, yeast overgrowth, and it's just not natural for the body. Right? We only want to be using herbs. And again, it's the steam of the herbs that's coming into us. We're not directly inserting any herbs. It's like making a pot of tea and sitting over it. So it's the steam that's coming into your being, which is extremely healing, rejuvenating, restoring. And you just feel such a shift in your energy after. So highly, highly recommend. Especially after postpartum, it's so important to do and then womb meditation, really connecting to your womb space. Placing your hands on your wombs, on the bottom of your belly. Talking to her, asking her for guidance, asking her for forgiveness. Starting to listen to your womb's inner voice. When you are thinking about dating someone or even just messaging someone back on Instagram, ask your womb, does this person honor me? She'll know. She'll tell you. And if not, do not waste your time, because what we waste our time engaging with becomes our norm. So when we normalize emotionally unavailable men, that becomes our norm. That becomes our reality. Even if we know he's emotionally unavailable, what is the part of you that's continuing to entertain him? Even we're like, he hasn't texted me in like two weeks, but now he wants me to come, come over. What's the part of you that is considering coming over? That's the part of us, because people are whatever we can, we can see that they're emotionally unavailable. They're narcissists, they're this, they're that. Why are we still engaging? Right? That's, that's our work to do. Are you craving a more feminine approach to spirituality that honors the full you? I'm talking about your inner embodiment queen, your joy priestess, your wise woman, your intuitive oracle. Well, if you love the themes on this podcast in my Sacred Sisterhood Collective Rose Gold Goddesses we dive even deeper every month with the Zoom Goddess Circle in these Goddess Circles taught by myself and some of your favorite High Self podcast guests. We actually take the teachings here from this podcast but bring them into practice such as mapping out your past lives, healing your ancestral lineage, connecting with your dark feminine, channeling from your highest self, manifesting greater abundance, womb healing, wisdom and clearing and working with many Goddess archetypes such as Isis, Hathor, Saraswati, Lakshmi, Yamaya. The list goes on. This truly is a mystery school that I have been running for over six years now and is filled with hundreds of workshops, goddess circles and practices that support the sacred feminine within you. And we have our very own app so you can connect with other like hearted queens all around the world. So if you're interested in joining or learning more, doors are open right now for Rose Gold Goddesses. Head over to rosegoldgoddesses.com that's rose gold Goddesses plural. You could also find that link in the show Notes. As soon as you join, you walk through the five Pillars of Rose Gold Goddesses, dive deep into your divine feminine embodiment and then have hundreds of workshops available for you. Plus you'll receive our calendar to join me live in our next monthly Goddess Circle. I'm so excited to have you there again. Head over to rosegoldgoddesses.com and you can find that link in the show Notes. This episode is sponsored by Better Help. So November is the month of gratitude and this practice really can transform our lives because it's so easy to focus on what we don't have and we can be very focused on manifesting and really striving to become something more. But we don't look around and notice that we are literally in the reality that we once dreamed of. So therapy is such a great way to have more gratitude for the present moment reality that you're in right now. And that's what actually makes you happier. It's not about getting more things, but being more grateful for all that you already have. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief question questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. So let gratitude flow with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.comsahara to get 10 off your first month. That's BetterHelp H E L P.comsahara and you can find that link in the show notes. So trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom, trust you in the guidance. So sit with the womb, ask the womb for guidance. I have a womb meditation that you can do which is a really quick 8 minute womb meditation to ask your womb questions and hear her answers. I will link that meditation in the show notes below. Been doing this practice for six plus years now. It's also the free gift if you leave a review for this podcast and take a screenshot and email it over to me harmsaharrose. So I will have that link below as well. If you would like to leave a review or any questions that you have, I would love, love, love to hear from you and I will email you for free. My womb meditation. So meditating with your womb yoni, steaming womb breath work. So doing like a holotropic breath work, which is breathing in and out often through the mouth, but putting a focus on the womb, so letting breath come from a really deep place of your body, right? Because we're so used to operating from our head, our neck up, we're like thinking, thinking, thinking, even our breath. If we're like, where are we breathing from? Like, I want you to even notice, where are you breathing from? A lot of us, it's like our throats, it's like the breath is only coming down to our throat and coming back up instead. When you take a breath in, can you bring it all the way down to your womb? And then can you exhale all the way from your womb, inhaling all the way down to your womb, letting your belly rise and exhaling all the way down from your room, literally letting your yoni soften. We often clench our yonis, just like we clench our butts, we clench our stomachs, we hold everything in, we're tight. We even are taught as, as children, suck it in. So when we have these tight bodies, we're no longer available for the flow of life. So literally softening, loosening. This is why in ancient cultures, women wore long flowy skirts, often with no underwear, so they could literally feel the air, feel the currents, have that breath of life in their yonis. Whereas today women are wearing like thongs all the time that are like going up their yonis and then tight, constrictive jeans. It's actually so masculine, right? Because when you're wearing this tight clothes and stuff, all of a sudden you're super constricted and you're like literally like tight assed, you know, and so you're going to operate that way because however the body is we're going to operate, if I'm sitting like this, I'm emotionally going to start acting like this. If I'm wearing something really free flowing, I'm going to be more free flowing. So literally changing your fashion, wearing more loose, flowy skirts, not wearing underwear when you're at home, not wearing underwear to sleep. Oh my God, I see so many wearing underwear to sleep. I'm like, why? Like I get if you're menstruating, but like, and for the rest of it, you do not need to be doing that. Let the yoni breathe. Yoni sutting. So this is literally to open up your vulva and let the sun touch her. So you could do this even in your apartment, as long as no one's able to look through your window. Just literally sit on your yoga mat, open up your legs and let the sun hit your yoni. And this is actually so rejuvenating. And ancients have done this for thousands of years, including men letting the sun touch their scrotum and their perineum. I'm trying to be scientific here, but again, most of us, our private areas have never seen the light of day. And isn't it crazy that we let a stranger see us naked, but we have never been fully naked with ourselves, right? We let someone else touch us, but we are afraid of touching ourselves. So this is really reclaiming your own sacred energy and healing your body. And when you nourish your body in this way, when you're yoni steaming, when you're doing womb meditation, womb breath work, yoni sunning, talking to your womb, asking your womb questions and then asking, does this person honor my womb? Do they see me as the goddess? Are they someone who I trust will create safety for me? Are they someone I see some form of commitment with? Because genuinely, and I've read many, many studies on this, as a woman, it is nearly impossible for you to have a one night stand that you just like feel completely satisfied after. Biologically, our bodies want to stay with that person that we have just mated with. The women often who are able to do that, like lots of one night stands are just very, very disconnected from their hearts. And again, no shame, no judgment. And people have gone through many different stages. I've talked to hundreds of women about this and most of them will say, that time period of my life that I was able to just kind of freely sleep around, I didn't really care. I was not connected to my heart, I was not connected to my femininity. And something Shifts. Because when you connect to your sacred feminine, nothing's casual anymore. Like literally nothing on earth is casual. Everything is intentional. The way that you set up your altar is intentional. The way that you communicate is intentional. The way that you feed yourself is intentional. The way that you dress is intentional. The friendships you have are intentional. Why would your sex not be the most important energy of your life? Why would that all of a sudden be something casual you just share with someone that you just met? It doesn't go. There comes a point in your consciousness that you realize how sacred your intimacy is. That you're like, full devotion or bust. Like, I would rather not. And the missing thing of like, how do you get there? Is to be comfortable in your solitude. Because when you're comfortable in your solitude, you're able to say no. You're able to wait. You're able to sit with yourself and not act out of this urge for some sort of human contact because you feel that you are not enough without it. So sit with those parts of yourself that want to self abandon when you feel lonely. And trust me, I know what it's like. Especially the first six months of it. There would be these feelings I would get of like, oh, I just miss like a man holding me, you know. And what I would do is I would sit on my yoga mat and I would hold myself, I would hug myself, I would stroke my own arm, I would touch my face, I would scratch my head, I would run rose petals. I would take roses and run them down my neck and my shoulders and my breasts. And I would literally touch, touch myself the way that I would desire a lover to touch me. A way that is slow and intentional and sacred. Which by the way, you're not gonna get that with the random guys on hinge. You know, most of the time when I talk to women, I'm like, how was the experience? They're like too fast, too hard. Definitely watches porn. I don't even want to do it again. It wasn't even worth it. So what is the point when you can have your own self pleasure practice that you can play the music you want, you can get to know your body, you can touch the exact points that you want. You can build yourself up. You can have a rose quartz yoni wand. So you're actually cultivating more self love instead of taking on someone else's entities. Like there is so much strength in that. And I truly believe even when you are dating someone. Wait, you know, one of my friends has this method that she is going to share. I'M going to bring her on the podcast. That is really a collective movement that we're seeing right now happening in Korea, by the way. In Korea, there is a collective movement of women choosing to be celibate because they have not felt honored by men, because they have felt like casual sex have left them feeling depleted, and they have decided to reclaim their sexual power. And they said collectively, if we all do this, this is going to naturally cause the men to rise and say, wow, I need to be more communicative. I need to at least share what my intentions are with woman. I can't just pretend I like her in the moment. I have sex disappear on her. That's so harmful for women's psyche. So collectively, in Korea, they're doing this, and a friend of mine ion and is creating a movement of women waiting three months. Because it really does take three months to get to know someone, right? In three months, you'll start to see their shadows, right? Because as women, we often start men at a hundred. You meet the guy, oh, my God, I met the love of my life. He's perfect. He's everything. We're getting married. What color are the flowers? You know? Whereas men actually start us at zero. Oh, yeah. Like, I guess she's cool, whatever. And then as they get to know us, they're like, oh, wow. She's actually really interesting. Oh, wow. I actually like being around her. Oh, wow. I'm starting to feel a little something in my heart. And it takes men time to know, right? Whereas for women, we start to get to know them and we're like, oh, wow. I guess he's not perfect. Oh, wow. He actually is quite immature. Oh, wow. He's actually not showing up for me in the way that I created a fantasy of in my head. So do you see here that for a woman, when we have sex with someone off the bat, right, we have this fantasy about them, we think they're the one. And then what we can do is we can gaslight ourselves and not look at those things anymore because now we're sexually bonded to him, right? When you're sexually bonded to someone, the brain actually does something that it tries to hide the things that might make you not like him anymore because it's like, that's your baby daddy. You're gonna stick with it. Him. Whereas when you haven't had sex with a man, you're more sober, you know, you can see things more clearly. You're not acting out of this, like, biological obsession, right? So you can actually see, does he actually have the values that align for me in a long term partnership. You know, is he on a growth journey? Do we want the same things in life? You can actually see a more realistic picture. Yes. There's. We're always going to be more in our hearts naturally than men. It's how we're designed. But when we haven't had sex, we're able to just sit in our power a little bit more. We're able to be in our queen's throne. Right. But once we have sex, that's when women are texting guys first. Double texting them, going over to their place in the middle of the night, disrespecting themselves. And guess what? Men don't actually want that either. They lose attraction to women who do this. This is why the booty call rarely becomes the wife. She might think, well, if I sleep with him long enough, then he may fall in love with me. But that's not actually how men are designed. Men don't fall in love through having sex with someone. You know, as women, we do, we create oxytocin through closeness. Men fall in love through vasopressin. Vasopressin is actually a stress hormone. So men fall in love by needing to do things for the woman, the pursuit of a woman. So them actually planning a date, them helping fix something in your house, them solving problems with you, they actually start to get more attracted to you the more they release this vasopressin. Right. But as women, we think they're gonna fall in love the same way that we fall in love, which is lots of closeness. Men actually fall in love when there's a little bit more space and distance. It's actually the distance that makes them want to get closer and that makes them want to purs. And the more that they pursue, the more energy, time, investments they have put into this woman. Thus they see her as more valuable. And this is all backed by science. So we do the opposite. We make it easy. We tell him how much we like him, we're always available, we respond to his text right away, where we don't even need to be asked out on a date. We will be there. And then he's like, okay, that's been there, done that. But the dream girl, the woman he wants to be with, is the one that he needs to work for, the one that he has a true emotional connection with. And again, when you have sex with someone too soon, it's just not enough time for a man to build that emotional connection. Because when a man has sex with a woman, he actually depletes in testosterone. So the hunt makes his testosterone go up. That quest of how am I going to get her? I really, really want her makes his testosterone go up and he feels even more like a man. And he loves that feeling. However, once he has sex with a woman, his testosterone naturally dips because again, it's going into I might be a father. Just like when a woman has a baby, his testosterone dips because again, it's less about now hunting, it's more about providing for that clan. The difference is he hasn't chosen you as his wife. You, you don't have a family together. So his testosterone goes down. So then the hunt goes down. And, and I'm not saying so then never have sex to keep his testosterone up there. There is a bondness and intimacy. And men also do release oxytocin, just not at our level. But what's important is we need to allow enough time for both parties to become emotionally invested for a woman to consciously choose do I want to be with this person? And for a man to have enough time to see her outside of just her sexuality. Because men naturally are more sexually focused than women. So a man is going through the world thinking and looking for sex more than a woman is. So when we go into sex very quickly, early on, we get kind of put into this only as a sexual partner category. And again, this doesn't only happen. And you hear of some situations where they were friends with benefits, they end up falling in love. It totally happens. It's not everyone. I'm just saying, what is the majority and what is again like biologically more likely to happen? Biologically, if you have sex with a man early on, his testosterone is going to go down. The hunt goes down, he loses interest. The woman is connected, she's in her fantasy, she's hurt. He pulls away, she comes closer, he ghosts, she's heartbroken. How many times have we heard the story? How many times we need to be in the story for us to choose something else? You know, we can pull all the tarot cards that we want and do the breath work and heal our nervous system, but if we don't make different choices in our lives, lives, we're not going to have different results. So I believe celibacy is such a powerful choice that we can make if we are finally in the place that we are calling in true life partnership. And again, that doesn't guarantee that you're going to be celibate and then you're going to find him. Not at all. And it doesn't Guarantee that anything in life, however it is, allowing you to not divulge your sexual energy in a whole host of different directions that you already know aren't going anywhere. And instead focus your energy on somewhere that you actually see commitment, longevity. Because that safety is actually what's going to make you sexually open up. And the sex that you actually want is going to be through love. Because what actually makes women feel turned on? Being wanted, being cherished, being worshiped, being adored, being ravished. Like, he can't keep his hands off of you. He's thinking about you and he, he wants to hear how your day went. He sends you flowers and he wants to take you on a trip. Like, are you, you already have butterflies? I do. These are the things that make a woman on, these are the things that make a woman open up. And this is what leads to her juiciest sex of her life. But having sex with someone, he's, you already know, he's not into you. He's in and out with his communication. You don't feel safe with him, you don't feel comfortable with him. You, you know, he, you wouldn't have his child. Like, first of all, if we're having sex, we don't want to potentially have children with. There it is, right there. And again, I'm not saying never explore, right? Do what you want. But I, I believe our society makes it so sexually focused that can you explore having a conversation with different people? Can you explore dancing with different people? I swear, go salsa dancing with people. It's way more intimate probably than what majority of American sex life is, which, by the way, the average amount of sex from start to finish in America, kissing to finishing is 7 minutes. 2 minutes of penetration is the average. Is that worth carrying his DNA for the next seven years for seven minutes? You didn't even come. You don't even like him. Is it worth it? I don't think so. I don't think so. Instead, have your goddess glow up moment. Choose yourself. It's fucking hot. Celibacy is so hot right now. I swear, all the hot chicks are celibate right now. It's a fucking fact. Like, it allows you to just be in your own energy. Damn, it feels so good. I don't got anyone else running through my system. And I know the next person I have sex with is gonna be a full heart. Yes. And that's that like, juicy, orgasmic feeling that we're really desiring. You know, in the Kama Sutra, before a man would have sex with a woman, he would Draw her picture. Like imagine the intimacy of a man just looking at you and staring you in the eyes and drawing his picture of you and sharing that picture. And he kisses your entire body from your lips all the way down and reveres to you. And often they wash your feet. Like this is, this is like true sacred sexuality. Because the masculine, a true masculine man wants to provide for a woman. He wants to show up for her. That's a turn on. And women, we need that devotion for us to open up differently than men do. Men have a more active sexual style. So a man can like be doing something like all of a sudden be horny and then he's like, hey, let's fuck. Like that happens with men. For women, we are more of a responsive sexual type. So we get turned on by someone talking to us and really getting to know us and maybe reading, reading to us or poetry, dancing with us, kissing, breath, work, touching us, playing with our hair. These are the things that now all of a sudden we're opening up. And for the feminine, our sexuality, it's like a simmering pot, right? You need to boil the water and boil it boiling, boil it, boil it, boil it. Slow touch, connection, intimacy. And then when the water's boiling, we're like, we're down for anything, you know. But you can't start there, you can't start at going wild and crazy because it's just going to be too much. And your body hasn't blossomed, your rose petals haven't blossomed and opened up to that. So what most men are doing is what they would like. They're down for a quickie. It works for them because they don't actually need to literally open up a flower and have her be wet and soft and supple. They have penises that don't. It literally just needs to get hard. And that's it. It. So again men, and then again you're watching porn, which is unrealistic as it's like the women are just like, oh my God, me so honey. And then they're like having sex like instantly. And then it's like dunch, like, oh my God, you rock. Like that's not what happens in real life. It's so damaging for people. So instead like, let's take this time out. You know, men to be in their own self, pleasure and intimacy for women to be in their own. Learn how you like to be touched, attached on yourself. And what I have found is actually moving sexual energy and turning it into art is so sensual. You know, when you feel that orgasmic energy. Can you sing, can you dance, can you write poetry? Can you turn it into something greater than just releasing it so quickly, you know, because that sexual energy is the energy of creativity. But when we're just like, oh my God, like, like just grab a vibrator, which vibrators are so numbing and desensitizing and not something I recommend at all for anyone. But again, we're just, instead of letting that sexual energy ride through our bodies, we're like tapping it out in a very, very surface level way. Instead of letting it ride with us and sit with us and actually heal and reactivate every single one of our cells. So use that sexual energy to create art. And the less sex that you have, the more sensitive you actually become. When you are like having tons of sex all the time, especially if it's a lot of different people, you get desensitized to it, right? And, and ask someone who has had many sexual partners and genuinely have conversations with them, you become desensitized to it because it's like, you know, if I'm always smacking you like this, it's like you're gonna kind of like get numb a little bit to be being smacked, right? But if you just went into like a silent retreat, like I just spent two weeks in silence after Guatemala. I was working with the rose and I was in silence. And so music to me sounds so beautiful. I could literally have an orgasm listening to music. I'm like, these songs, their voices, it's so, oh my God, I have a heart gas. I'm just hearing them and even just touching my skin. I'm like, this feels so, so good. You love it and feel so good. And that's what takes me high. I was just that song so good. Everything just feels amazing and orgasmic because you're more sensitive. That like just the littlest quiver of your lips is so sensual and less becomes so much more. So the reason why so many women are not having orgasms, men have erectile dysfunction is because we're in such a gross, gross overt society where the manners jacking off with crazy porn desensitized. Many men are watching porn three times a day, ejaculating three times a day, losing vital life force, right? Depleting themselves from their creative energy. And that's why they're stuck in dead end jobs and living as man children. And then the women are in their shells trying to be like men, sexually frustrated and then taking on this male consciousness of I just need to like get a load off Putting their vibrator at the highest setting, climaxing with the clit in two seconds. And then like shame and then like going on with their day. This is not what sacred sexuality is about at all. Create a ceremony for yourself. Get a foot bath. Put some warm water and some milk and honey in there with some rose petals. Make yourself a foot bath. Only watch things that are beautiful, which I don't think any TV show out there is. I only watch Bollywood, mostly. The dance scenes like this is the only vibration I'm calling into my life. Like Rajasthani princess. Thank you. Only watch things that are beautiful. Only read things that are beautiful. Only listen to things that are beautiful. Surround yourself by beauty because everything you're listening to you are becoming. I just listen to love songs. That's how I'm living, girl. And make your pleasure practice a ritual. Make it slow. Make it sacred. Make it embodied. Learn how you desire to be touched. Touch yourself like a lover. And then you won't be so thirsty. In fact, you're going to be repulsed by anyone that treats you less than the way that you treat yourself. Because you're like, why would I allow you and your entities and your DNA into my crystalline field when I am literally making milk baths for myself and treating myself like Cleopatra? Why would I ever. And then your self worth goes up and the way you operate through the world goes up. You know, people see me all the time. They're like, are you even a human? I'm like, no, because you start to actually take on goddess consciousness. I'm like 50 50. Because there's something otherworldly that comes through when you're not so reactive to these really like baseline reactive, responsive. I need. Need, mean. Which are. Which are codependent, which are addictions. You know, even love can be an addiction. The roller coaster of, does he like me? Do I like him? We're talking on the app. What should I say? Screenshot it. Send it to all my friends. What should I respond? We want to date. I don't really like him, but should I? This, it's just a roller coaster. You just spent so much of your energy there. You could have like written a novel with that time. You could have like, like change humanity with that time. You could have stepped into your dharma. You could have meditated. You could have like put some castor oil on your face. You could have done something more productive than the waste of time on this conversation with a guy you probably never even met. So what this, the rose really taught me in my two week rose theato really Sitting in silence, working with the rose was all these different energy drains that we have. And I'll do more. Let me know. Maybe the next podcast I'll do is about energy drains and leakages, because sexuality is one of them, and I think it's the most important. That's why I really wanted to do a podcast on celibacy and holding that sexual energy and really holding ourselves like a faja. You know, faja is the Latin American wrap they wear around their wombs and their stomachs that hold them together. And all the indigenous women wear them all the time because it actually holds your womb in place. Most women where our wombs have their uteruses have tilted out of place. Many of them are prolapsed too low even before having children. So it's literally holding yourself. But the message that came to me in this was like, hold yourself energetically, like a faja. You know, we talk about men's leaky sexual energy. Woman can have leaky, leaky love energy. Does he like me? Let me think about all my ex who's love of my life. Could it be like that neighbor that I had, like, in college, like, he was actually good. Where is he? Let me reach out. Let me see where he is. Let me stalk him. All this leaked energy, you know, when you call even a percentage of that energy back to yourself, you glow up so massively. You know, every. My friends who always see me, like, because I'm always like, going on these things and coming back, they're like, you're even younger. You're even younger. I'm 33 years old. People do not believe me. You know, I get carded when I go places. They're like, there's no way. You're 21. And I'm like, spiritual practice, you know? But I guarantee you, if I was sharing my sexual energy with all these people and entertaining all these people and disperse and trying all these things and going all. And. And sharing my life force with people who didn't respect me then I wouldn't respect myself. So what do we want to normalize? And I know you might think, well, I don't have any guy who's showing up in devotion to me. I don't even know any man who wants a partnership. I don't. I don't have these people in my field. Well, your field right now is a reflection of you. And the way that we shift fields, shift timelines, and shift frequencies is to actually step away from that reality, to decide I am actually removing any connection in my life that does not feel reciprocal. Where I don't feel valued, where I don't feel like they actually fundamentally like and honor me as a human, where they don't actually care how my day went. Why would I share my sexuality with someone who doesn't even care how my day went? You know, let's set the bar higher, ladies. Let's set the bar higher. Like, we can't let men continue to just get away with this. It comes with us actually taking a step back. I believe we need a movement like, like they had in Korea, a movement of us just saying, no, if you don't care about me as a person, it doesn't mean you gotta get married. But if you ignore me for days on end, weeks on end, and it's only when it's convenient to you, and it's just physical, I'm actually not available for that. And then when those pings of the loneliness come, sit with yourself, make yourself that milk bath, watch a Bollywood music video, put oil on your scalp, hang out with your friends, do karaoke, sit in stillness, smell a rose, go on a walk, do something for you, something that's adding to you. And I guarantee you, you're going to leave that so much more fulfilled and actually in pleasure and in love than you are from sharing your energy with someone that there was no respect. So this is really a call for all of us to want more. Because I do believe that our generation, we can have true sacred union. It is the most healing force on this planet for masculine, feminine to come together to create something greater. But we have to stop accepting bare minimum and we have to sit with sometimes the solitude that happens until we find someone that calibrates at that level. Yes, there is a void. But to get into any reality, we need to sit in the void. So come join me. I swear, it is the best thing that's ever happened to me. It has. It is the reason why I am actually more full of pleasure. I'm more sensual than ever before. I'm more orgasmic than ever before, Let alone more creative, abundant. Like all of my sacral chakra gifts, from my voice to my music, to my expression have completely multiplied through celibacy. So this is such a powerful practice. And trust me, I've spoken to so many people who are in sacred union partnership, and so many of them consciously made the choice of I was going to be celibate until I found this man who could truly meet me. And none of them have ever regretted it. So if you are hearing this right now, there's for a reason. If you're listening to this from now, if there is a reason, it doesn't matter what happened in your past right now, you can make a different decision to honor yourself, to sit with yourself, to bring all of your energy back to yourself. And I'm so excited to see where it brings you. So if you love this episode, share it with your friends. This is a really good one too, isn't it? Funny how this is edgy, but this is a very edgy podcast. I've never really seen anyone talk about this, so send this to your friends, share it on your stories. This is a really great way of like, hey, I've been thinking this. Like, let's finally talk about it. Share with your friends. Have a conversation about it. If some guy is trying to come through, be like, sorry, Sahara Rose and I are celibate. You know, let him know. Maybe it will cause him to be like, damn. I also want to honor my sexual energy more. I also want to be more mindful with it. I also want to use it for creativity because it also has immense benefits for men as well. And leave a review for this podcast and I will send you my Womb meditation absolutely for free. So just take a leave a review, take a screenshot of it and email it over to me at@saharaamsahararose.com you can find that email and all of the links I've mentioned today in the show notes. If you want to study deeper with me at my school, Highest Self Institute, I have a number of trainings in purpose coaching, embodiment coaching, spiritual life coaching, soul business mastery, and so much more. This is my school where we certify coaches to take this work out into the world. So if you love this and you would also love to be a witness shower, head over to the link below. You can take a quiz to discover what type of coach you are and learn more about our different trainings at Highest Self Institute. I'm so excited to continue to have you in this community and I'll see you in the next episode. Trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom. Trust your inner guidance. Close your eyes and listen. So trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom, trust your inner gardens.