587: Shadow Work: The Journey to Your Highest Potential with Sahara Rose

You will feel the difference between someone who has done shadow work and someone who has not. You can feel like you've never been burned at the stake. What is shadow work? What is that thing that you feel shame around? I'm too loud. I'm too bold. I'm too creative. I'm too sexual. I'm too quiet. I'm too this. That's your shadow work right there and now. How can that thing about you actually be a huge blessing? There's a shadow to all of it. The shadow is when I was at the waterfall, I wasn't being present because I was too caught up into the photo shoot. And the light is. It's one thing to look at the shadows we have within ourselves and owning it, but we also got to look at the things that we hate about other people and how that is within ourselves. So in practice, I give our students shadow work. Welcome back to the Highest Self podcast. My name is Sahar Rose, and on this podcast I love to take spirituality and make it grounded, fun, modern, relatable. And one question I'm always receiving is, what is shadow work and how do I do it? So I decided to dress the part. You know what I mean? We love a good cosplay up in here and to dive into what shadow work is all about.

If you're someone that is naturally an empath, likely you were very sensitive as a child. You were picking up on the energy of all of the members of your family, and you're like, hey, there's some patterns going on here, but you're not really sure how to integrate that into your career. Maybe wherever you work, you're the one who everyone comes to when they have a problem. And you spend your free time listening to podcasts about spirituality, diving into personal development, books, workshops, having really deep conversations, going on retreats, but you're ready to take the next step. Maybe you've done something like a yoga teacher training or a breath work, facilitator training, but you want to dive deeper. You want to actually talk to people, understand their lives, and help support them in becoming their highest selves. And maybe one day you see yourself writing a book, speaking on stages, hosting your own podcast. Maybe having me on your podcast one day. Well, if I'm speaking to your soul right now, it's because I'm speaking to a very specific group of people. And these are people who are visionaries. These are people who are trailblazers. These are people who are here to help assist in the shift of consciousness that is happening, happening right now. At this time that is so needed in 2025. So if this is you, I'm speaking to you specifically right now and it's time for you to really start taking action on this. Because the truth is another year can pass where you hide your spiritual gifts in the closet and it's time for you to actually begin to share them. And I know you may be wondering, well, how do I start?

Well, this is why I've created the.

First ever six months spiritual life coach certification at my school, Highest Self Institute. And that is the most advanced spiritual life coaching certification on the market. So we dive deep into the Highest Self method where you learn how to connect with your breath, your body and you and your clients highest selves. You're going to deep dive into ancestral wisdom, divination, different forms of healing from using the breath, body, nervous system and beyond, connecting to Ayurveda, dharma, different forms of ancient and indigenous wisdom and bringing it all together into actually creating a career where you serve as a spiritual life coach and then can take that on into writing books, podcast speaking and more. So at my school, Highest Self Institute, we have graduated over 3,000 different types of coaches, sole purpose coaches, embodiment coaches, and this is our first ever time really diving deep. For six months, I'll be on the call live as well as Dr. Anita every single week guiding you. We're going to have peer coaching sessions, practice coaching sessions. You're going to be receiving feedback. This is actually a live and moving container. So it's not like one of those courses you buy, buy online and never log into again. But it's actually something where we're going to be holding you accountable to make sure that in six months from now, like this summer, you are going to have an entirely different career should you choose it, or you can just dive into it for your own personal enrichment. So I'm so excited that doors are open right now for our certified spiritual life Coach certification at the Highest Self Institute. If you're interested, you're curious, you want to explore the curriculum, we have everything listed below. If you go on highesthelfinstitute.com you can find the direct link in the show notes and you can also book a free one on one discovery call with someone from our team to answer any of your questions, see how it can integrate into your specific career, ask questions about the curriculum and reserve your spot.

So I'm so excited to get to.

Know you on the call, to have you in our community and to hopefully, inshallah, one day, have you on this podcast. So find that link in the show notes and I'm so excited to dive.

In deeper with you. This episode is brought to you by Better Help.

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And before we drop into this episode, be sure to hit subscribe wherever you're listening to this podcast. That is the best way to stay up to date on the latest episodes. We've got this in video format, so if you're just hearing my voice, be sure to also watch our fabulous outfits on video as well on Spotify, YouTube or the Apple Store. This is the best way to stay in the flow with future conversations and also allows the podcast to reach more people. So hit subscribe so I can keep vibing with you on all future episodes. Now let's get into this one. So the word shadow work is a Jungian term, the shadow being the part of the subconscious that we do not want to look at. Often it's the parts of ourselves that we don't even have regular access to because we have suppressed it so much. Hence, it's our shadow. It's always with us. In fact, other people can see it, but we often cannot because we are so shameful of it. So I'm gonna give some examples because I remember when I first heard about this I was like, I'm not like a murderer. Like I don't have anything to be guilty about. Like I don't have any shadows. Like I'm, I'm good, but I do. And I'm dressed in the part. So some things that may be part of your shadow and I'm gonna speak into some, like big collective ones. I see in the theme self obsession, that is probably the biggest one that my medicine journeys showed me existed within myself, within all of us. Due to social media, if you think about it before, for thousands of years, people never really had access to seeing themselves. You know, sometimes you would like see a reflection on the pond, like in the Lion's King, you know. Is that you, dad? Where are you? No. You know, that moment. Sometimes you would have little experiences. What was that monkey's name? He was wise. Damn wise man. So, and then later on we had mirrors and like there was like a mirror in the town or mirror in the neighborhood and you would like see yourself in the mirror and that's it. And then like later you had mirrors in homes, but you never like sat around like really look at yourself in the mirror all the time. It was like sort of a thing in passing. Whereas now we have these devices in our hands that we're constantly looking at ourselves. And we're constantly not just looking at ourselves, we're making videos of ourselves and photos of ourselves. And we're obsessed with them because we're sharing them with other people. So it's not just for ourselves, but it's so we can show them to other people. Which makes us even more obsessed with how we look and how we come across. And did I say this or is my hair frizzy or whatever. The thing is. So we are literally creating these profiles of ourselves that people interact with as if that is us. And so we become so obsessed with how we're coming off that we're putting more time and energy into our profile than we are into the actual interaction. And this has created an entire generation of very self obsessed people. And like to take it on the complete end of the spectrum, narcissism. And I wouldn't even talk about the word narcissism because I feel like narcissism is a huge buzzword in our time and it's really overused and misused. And I can definitely speak into. There are people who have what maybe we would call narcissistic personality disorder. Even that though no one's born that way. It comes from trauma, you know, and these things always can be addressed and healed if that person is, is willing to do the work. But of course someone who's deeply, deeply narcissistic has deep, deep seated trauma and they're not willing to look at it. So that's like on a polar end of the spectrum. Like someone who won't even admit it. They're hurting people around them. They're only thinking about themselves. They are angry. They really can hurt other people with their actions, you know, and oftentimes these people, yeah, have rage, you know, people who cheat. That's a form of narcissism. And of course all forms of lying, deception, that's like on one end of the spectrum. But even us of everything is about me all the time. And we all have that consciousness. You know, we're obsessed with our preferences. I want this, I want that, I need this, I need that. And this is all. So I won't call it narcissism because I feel I'm going to reserve that word for the more extreme cases. But it's the self obsession. So the shadow of that is we're so obsessed with ourselves that we cannot actually connect with the other. We are so afraid of being taken advantage of that we take it all for ourselves. We're so afraid of getting our boundaries across that we have these strict up rules and walls and everything must, you know, you must speak to me and you know, the four agreements, otherwise I cannot talk to you. It's like that, you know, the non violent communication for everything. And so we see more of that in, in the spiritual community, right. Of like, I'm looking for a God man. Who's this? I'm looking for a career where I never have to work and get paid all the time and just show up and be myself and never have to work it hard at all. It's like, it's like Burger King. We want it our way, you know, extra fries. And this is a really big shadow in our society because a lot of these traits, we can also look at them through the eyes of self love. Like the eyes of self love. And here's the tricky line and here's what I'm really trying to show. I'm gonna bring it all together for you. Self love is a beautiful thing. Having boundaries is a beautiful thing. Choosing yourself is a beautiful thing. I even believe social media is a beautiful thing. I love having my profile of myself, I love taking pictures of myself and I love making videos of myself even more. I'm here making a video myself right now, sharing with you how fun you guys are. Gonna watch it. I'm gonna rewatch it, too. Didn't I just talk shit about all those things? There we go. Shadow work. Welcome. Classes in session. Professor Rose at your service. So our shadows are the things about ourselves that we can look at from the shadowy realm of how it can be negative, catastrophic, you know, keeping us from what we really want, but also that very thing gives us what we want. Now I'm gonna talk about all those things and how they're amazing. Think. I'm so grateful to have a phone. I mean, can you imagine, like, back in the day? They're like, oh, let's have a date at the mall, and you just have to, like, trust they would show up. Like, you don't even know. Like, you don't even remember what they look like. There's no way. What if they got sick? How did you guys keep in touch? I don't understand. So I'm gonna thank Goddess for my phone. I'm gonna thank Goddess for social media. Because when I was 23 years old, I got my first job at an ad agency, and I cried every single day because I hated that. I thought it was going to be like that Mad Men show and that they would ask me for the creative prompts. I thought I was going to be in charge of that. No, they just wanted me to do ditch work. If it wasn't for social media, I would have had to keep working that job, and God knows where it would have taken me. No, and I'm just kidding. I totally would have been a hippie and just dropped out of life. But, you know, that was the only option to stay in this reality. But because I started blogging when I was 19 years old, and then as soon as Instagram came out, started on Instagram and grew my blog and grew my health coaching practice, which turned into my spiritual coaching practice, which turned into my books, which turned into my podcast, which turned into my coaching institute. I can thank the phone for that. So I'm so grateful for the phone. I'm so grateful I get to take pictures of myself that I get to remember moments of my life. The moment of my life when I was in Trinidad at the waterfall, and I was just, like, in my, like, wild woman era, and I didn't know what was going to bring. And I was just in this, like, bedazzled gold bikini, and I'm so. I was like, Princess Jasmine gone Moana. That was the vibe. So grateful for. For photography to capture that. So grateful for videos. I got to share my experiences throughout journey and get to share with you on this podcast to share on social media. I'm so grateful. I get to, you know, dress up in all these different ways and, and put on cool outfits and makeup to show physically what I'm trying to say. I'm so grateful for all of those things. And there's a shadow to all of it. The shadow is when I was at the waterfall, I wasn't being present with the waterfall because I was too caught up into the photo shoot. And the light is. I have pictures that I'll remember that day forever. Duality, welcome to humanity Duality, welcome to humanity. Yo, that's a good one right there. Can you remind me of that one? I need. I need to make that a song for sure. Like, that's giving 80s right there. 80s vibes, you know what I mean? So the fun thing about doing shadow work is it allows us to be more whole and integrated. So I'm not thinking, oh, I'm wrong. I'm obsessed with social media. I'm obsessed with how I look. I'm a narcissist. And I'm not also thinking, oh, my goddess. That picture I took in the photo shoot, the waterfall photo shoot saved humanity. It was so needed, it was so important. It lifted the divine feminine with one look. I'm on either end of the spectrum. I'm in. Probably would have had more fun splish flashing without the photo shoot, but I'm grateful for the photo shoot because long term, I'll remember that day way more than probably the splish splash, you know. So that is the shadow right there. To see that both things are connected and there is a light and a shadow to everything in life. So self obsession. We did a little rendezvous in there. Let's look at some other shadows. Greed, lust. It's interesting because like the seven sins, right? And it's related to our shadows. But the thing is, in our modern religions, they've made it that that's wrong and that's bad and you must not have that. You must cut yourself off from that. But it's actually these are all parts of us as humans. These are all parts of ourselves. And I believe likely in mystical Christianity, it understood that. It was saying these are our shadows and to integrate that. Whereas in you know what, past 2,000 years, this version of the New Testament, it's been reworded. So it's like, like you must sever your part yourself from those parts. And if you look at anything in life, when you actually go through the shadow, you have the highest form of it. So let's say, you know, I have a lot of stress in my life. So the shadow is I'm burnt out, I'm overwhelmed. I am, you know, about to just like lie down on the couch and crash. Well, I can see that that stress is me, you know, I'm on the run. I'm on the run. I'm on the run. So now I can sit with, like, why am I pushing myself this hard? Why do I feel the need to always be productive? Why am I like going at full force all the time until I'm hitting a wall? What's happening here? So now I can start to do some shadow work. Oh, wow. When I was a little kid, my mom would wake me up at six in the morning and put up the curtains and I always felt like I was behind. Oh, wow. My dad would always only be proud of me if I got A's. Oh, wow. My whole family's pride was around what a good piano player I was. Oh, wow. I was always rewarded if I helped my mom around the house. Oh, wow. I never saw my parents rest, by the way. These are all truths about myself. So of course I was raised to have an identity where I must always be productive in order to not be loved, to be alive like you gotta always be, you know. Of course my parents escaped from a war and revolution. Makes sense. However, the way that now it's showing up in my life or what's showing up in my life was I was working, working, working all the time. And if I wasn't working, I felt like I wasn't being productive, therefore I wasn't like doing enough. On a deeper level, when I really went into that shadow, if I wasn't being productive, I didn't even deserve to live. That's when I really kept questioning and sitting with it. That was like the rock bottom of it. If I'm not doing, if I'm not being of service, if I'm not helping other people all the time, that I don't even deserve to live. So that took me to the core of that shadow and was only by going there. How did I get there? I sat on my yoga mat outside and I noticed. Why is it so hard for me to sit still? Like, why do I feel like I always need to be doing something well, and then I would start, start having conversations with myself. Well, I feel like if I'm not, I'm falling behind. Why do you feel like you're falling behind? Well, everyone else is out there doing things. I'm just sitting here. I Need to always be doing something. Why do you always need to be doing something? Well, because if I'm not, then, you know, people won't like me. Why won't they like me? Well, people only like me when I'm doing things for them. Why is that? Well, if I'm not doing things for them, they're going to forget about me. Why would they forget about you? Well, because people only like me for what I can provide for them. Why do you think that? Well, I don't even know why else someone would want to be with me. Why else do you think? Well, because just being with me is not enough. Okay? Why? So I would go there, and I would see that I literally was like, why would someone even want to be my friend if I'm not doing for them? Why would someone want to be around me if I'm not doing for them? I literally couldn't understand it. And again, this was not conscious. Like, if you asked me conscious, I would be like, of course. I'm so much fun. But it was only by saying, sitting with myself and asking myself these questions and continuing to say, why, why, why? That would get to the core, and I would notice these things that it's. When I say it, it sounds obvious. It sounds like, of course you are worthy. Of course you don't always have to be working. We all know these things. We all say we want to rest. We all say we want to vacation. We all say it's our soft girl season. How many of us are living it? If your reality is not lined up with what you desire, there's some shadow work to be done. By the way, I'm gonna guess that's all of you. So we all got some work to do. And by the way, the shadows don't stop. It's kind of like Pringles. They just keep popping. I know they show up in different areas of your life, but as you start doing the shadow work, it stops being so scary. So we can do shadow work in any areas of our lives, Wherever we are feeling resistance, wherever we're feeling stuck. And we can continue to ask ourselves, why? What is holding me back? Why do I feel like this needs to be like this? And continuing to ask ourselves these things. So, for example, a lot of us have shadows around our purpose, our Dharma. When I say the word Dharma, I mean your soul's purpose. Like the big reason why you're here, you know? So I'll speak for myself and my experience. I didn't even think I had one, to be honest. I wanted to believe I had one. But deep down inside, I didn't believe I had one. I thought, like, Justin Bieber definitely has one, I can see his, but not me. In fact, I was actually really good at seeing other people's purposes. I was like, you're so amazing at this. Like, are you that, that person too? I feel like you are. You're so. You're so great at making me feel seen and heard. You're so amazing at throwing dinner parties. You're so. I was like, like able to see everyone else's highest selves, but I couldn't really see my own. And by the way, shadow work also helps us see our light because shadow work just helps us see everything. So from diving deeper into myself of, okay, I say I want to live a life where I am doing what I love, but I'm not. You know, this was my early 20s for me to do what I loved was to write books. But I didn't know how to write a book, let alone how to make money writing a book, let alone how to provide for myself making money writing a book. I didn't know how. So there was a gap there. I want to be a full time author, but I am broke. So there was a lot of shadow work that needed to be done to make that my reality. And by the way, 10 years later, I've written four best selling books, three of which which Deepak Chopra wrote the forwards of. So this shit works. So the first question was, you know, and I now I have these five stages of dharma that I guide people through in my dharma coaching institute training, which you can find the link below and get a little sample class and learn more about. If you're interested in learning more about your dharma, your soul's purpose, and diving in. Spending six months studying with me live online, asking your questions, getting laser coached by me, going through our curriculum. It is the most incredible experience of like shadow work and questioning your beliefs and diving into your truth that you could, could ever experience. So I'm gonna link that below. If you're like, I want to be in this energy and I want to be doing the shadow work and I want to turn it into something greater and even turn it into a career where I can be paid for being me full time. Dharma coaching is for you. I will link that below so you can learn more about it. So it started with me of, okay, do I even believe I have a dharma? You know, until I could actually believe it, I couldn't create it. So it started to turn into, okay, well, I Do believe I have gifts. Okay, what are some of my gifts? Okay. I'm really good at having conversations with people. I'm great at seeing the big picture perspective. I'm great at giving people advice. I'm great at learning information and translating it to other people. I'm great at writing. I'm great at sharing with people. I like teaching small groups. So I was starting to notice all these things about myself. I started writing them down. Then I started to look at how are they connected to greater archetypes? Okay, I'm seeing the archetype of the visionary, the archetype of the teacher, the archetype of the priestess, the archetype of the medicine woman. These are different archetypes I have within me and then beyond that. Okay, if I am these archetypes, how do these archetypes express themselves? Okay, I see the visionary speaks on stages. I see the teacher teaches classrooms. I see the priestess has rituals and ceremony. I see the medicine woman dives deep with people. How am I all of these things? So then I would start to see myself in this higher level perspective of, well, maybe I'm not living that right now, but I know I have the gifts and I know I have the ability to. But now what's holding me back? And that's when all of the shadow work came in. So for me, a lot of it was around my family that if I don't take a normal job, I'm going to put them through so much trauma and hell that I'm going to feel guilty for the rest of my life. So it was a lot of shadow work on guilt. I know I can be this, but I can't do it because I will disappoint my parents so much. Because my parents sacrificed for me, so I need to sacrifice for them too. Even though I really want to. Even though I'm living in India and now in Bali and I'm seeing all these tantric life coaches and people living their dharmas, but they don't have parents from Iran like I do, so I could never do that.

So you may have noticed from listening to this podcast, talking to your friends, getting to know different people, that there are many different types of spirituality out there. And even zooming into intuition, that we all connect to our intuition in different ways. So some people are like, I saw this vision of something and it came right through. And other people are like, I just knew it. Like, I had a firm knowing that this was the truth. And someone else might say, I heard something in my ear. Something whispered to Me or I received a download and someone else might be saying, I had this gut feeling in my stomach. And you might be like, I don't know. I've had experiences with all of these. Which one is mine? So this was a really big question I had. What is my unique type of intuition? And that's why I've put together a free quiz that you can take in just 90 seconds to understand your unique type of intuition. So are you claircognizant, the person who just knows? Are you clairsentient, the person who feels things somatically in your body? Are you clairvoyant, the person that sees visions, dreams? Or are you clairaudience, the person that hears things? And then how can you actually integrate this into your life? How can you begin to trust your intuition? How can you begin to have a better relationship with your intuition? So you know the difference between the voice of your intuition and the voice of your fear? Because that's the big eternal question. How do I know if this is really my gut guidance or if it's just me being afraid or carrying conditioning? And that's what we further dive into in our programs at the highest self institute. So let's get started with understanding your type of intuition. Then I'll be guiding you on how you can actually even create a career using your intuition first and foremost. So head over to the show notes pronouns to take my free quiz. Discover your unique type of intuition. My top two are Claire, cognizant and clairaudient, I would say. So I'm curious what yours are, and I'm so excited to support you on the other side.

And so it was this, like, dance of seeing the possibility, but like, this really big reason why I couldn't do it. And then the more I started to do shadow work on guilt, I started to realize that guilt is one of the lowest vibration emotions. The lowest is shame. Shame is I am bad. Guilt is I did bad. So for me, it was a lot of guilt around. I can't do this. Who am I to do this? I will hurt other people if I do this. And a lot of us women, we have been controlled through guilt for a very, very long time. And a lot of our families use guilt to try to get their way. And they are not doing it to hurt us. They're often doing it out of love. They're doing it because they believe you will be more safe if you follow the beaten path. You will be more safe if you take that 9 to 5 job, if you stay in your hometown, if you Stay married to that person, even if they're driving you crazy. That's what they know, right? And then when they see you're not listening, they feel helpless. They don't know what to do. Guilt. You're destroying our family. You're going to make me get a heart attack and die. You're going to. You know, I've seen all sorts of things that families have said, just anything they can to get that person, state to stay where they are. But now that's our shadow work. Our shadow work is how have I let this voice control me my entire life? And am I willing to step up into the other side of it? The other side of it being courage, the other side of it being liberation, the other side of it being truth, the other side of it expression, the other side of it being sovereignty, living for myself. And I can preach these things and say them, you know, oh, I believe in truth, liberty and sovereignty, freedom, justice for all. You know, the American flagship. Are we living that? We're not. And we can see that. And just on a micro level, when someone says, you know, on their Instagram profile, I believe in love and light, but you can tell they are not the embodiment of that, nor are they necessarily meant to. So when we say something, but there is a dissonance between how we are being, people can really see that staunch difference because we are not embodying that thing. So this is why embodiment is key to shadow work. So I may say I believe in courage and the divine feminine being liberated, but I'm still operating from guilt with my family. There is going to be a disconnect from what I'm saying and how I'm showing up. You might hear all the buzzwords, someone might say the exact same thing I'm saying, but if they are not living it, you will feel the difference. Difference in their truth. You will feel the difference between someone who has done shadow work and someone who has not. Someone who has not done shadow work, let me say. So for example, the other day I. I was watching this video and this girl was. And it was like a girl and a guy and they were saying all these things. Share your voice, you know, share your truth. Like, be yourself. It's so amazing. And just the tone of their voice, I was like, blessed. But like, you can feel like you've never been burnt at the stake, you know, like you've never had groups of people being like, fuck off. How dare you. It's only until you've been canceled that you're no longer Afraid of being canceled. It's only until you go through hell that you're no longer afraid of hell. And that's the beauty of shadow work. So I could feel in their voices, and it was very sweet what they were saying, but wasn't embodied. It was. They like the idea of sharing your truth and sharing your voice, but just how high toned up and peppy they were. I was like, bless you. I hope your life continues to remain as good as it has, you know, because people who've gone through some shit, you can just feel when someone else has. And it's just this, like, level of just like, I see you, you know, and the people who have. The people who've done shadow work, there's something so radiant and so magnetic about them, you know, I remember around a year ago, I did a podcast with my bestie, Rosie, and we were talking about shadow work, and I shared, and it was after my first ayahuasca experience, and I shared the greatest gift of it is that I'm no longer afraid of anything in my consciousness. And that right there is the gift of shadow work. To be able to navigate through your mind freely and not have that hidden corner that if I go there, I'm not gonna be able to get out, but instead to allow your mind to be this free prairie. That I can go into this, I can go into that, and I know I can touch that thing. That relationship with my mother, that breakup, friendship, breakup I had with my friend, that relationship with my ex. I can go there and it's not so heavy that I'll. I don't. I won't feel like I will find my way out, but because I've gone there and I've, you know, imagined these things. Like your relationship with your mother, your ex, the friend breakup are like these Victorian cobweb houses that you haven't visited in a long time. So there's like cobwebs everywhere. So what most people do is, well, I'm just not going to go in. And what happens? The spiders explore more and more and more, and then it's like disgusting in there. And then you can, like. It's like almost feels like you never get it right. And then you just lost the whole house. However, through doing shadow work, you go in and it doesn't matter. Even if it's been 20 years since you haven't looked at that thing, it's never too late. You go in, you start cleaning, you start sitting in that house, start talking to the spiders. Hey, what's going on here? How do you feel? Oh, it makes total sense that you would think that I don't live here anymore because I hadn't visited it in a really long time. It makes total sense that you would put spider webs all over the place because you thought I was never coming back. Totally makes sense. But now I'm here and I'm back. Thanks for, you know, making the space your own. I'm taking it back now and I'm going to start clearing out these webs. And that's what shadow work does. It's like, let me open up the file cabinet of my consciousness and that messy cabinet I have of my relationship with my mom. Let me sort those papers out. Let me throw away those old papers that are irrelevant. I don't even need them. I don't even know why I was holding onto them. And let me make sure the papers that I need are right there on top. Let me just iron them out, make sure they're all good. Oh, wow. I'm so grateful I did that because now I can see things from a higher level perspective. I would have never before. I actually couldn't understand everything on those pieces of paper when I did this. So I shut it because I saw something I didn't like. So I shut it. And I thought it was because of my mom, but actually, now that I've stepped more into my mother archetype, I can understand that what she did was out of love. So that's the beauty of shadow work, that when we do that work, we're actually coming back from a higher level perspective than we had whenever that situation happened, where more of the pieces of the puzzle have come together. You know, the cards have fallen in place and we're ascending and ascending. And so now we can see things from a higher level perspective. It's like when you are on a helicopter ride. You know, when you're on the ground, it's just loud and you're just on the ground and just like kind of a ruckus as you get higher and higher up now you're seeing things you would have never seen from where you were before. So that's what doing shadow work does. At first it feels like, oh, it's so painful. I really don't want to go there. Like, when I think about what my ex did to me, I just like break down. And that's where we start. No one wants to go into that Victorian home and clear out the cobwebs at first it's nasty, right? But if we ever want that home, we gotta do that work. If you ever want to have that love, you gotta do that work. If you ever want to have that sense of belonging, you gotta do that work. If you ever want that joy, you gotta do that work. And it's actually through doing it. It's the only way it's possible. We can't bypass our way through it. Otherwise we become that person with the super high voice talking about living your truth, even though we can feel it's a puppet show, you know? And this is what's so beautiful. Like when you see, like elders or you see some people who, like, they've gone through some. It's something you just want to hear them talk, you know, like they know something about life and they don't let the small things sweat them anymore. You know, they have perspective, they have range, they have this ability to see things from that higher and higher vantage point that only doing that work and revisiting that thing again and again would have given you. You. So that one situation that happened in your life for the rest of your life, you will continue to have higher levels of perspective with it as you do the shadow work. And the beauty of doing shadow work is it. It's when you start, it's like the hardest, but then it's never as hard anymore because now you're used to it. It's like, you know, learning how to snowboard for the first time. Yes. The first time you're going to be falling. You know, first couple times, but then you're going to. Maybe the eighth time you're actually on the board. 50% and then 75%, 90%. And before you know it, you choose when you fall. And when you get more comfortable with shadow work, it's like you can choose to go there. Like now I have times where I can feel a little anxious, a little something off, and I'm like, okay, let's go in. I sit and I meditate and I ask myself, and I can go into that underworld and not be afraid of it. And I actually choose it because I know there's just a little bit of like, like clearing work I gotta do. I gotta rake out some leaves. And I'm like, good. I'm golden. I'm like, right back into it 10 minutes later. But when something's really fresh, something just happened. You're in your dark night of the soul, which I will link my episode below on having a dark night of the soul. I just made a song called Sexy Dark Night of the Soul, which is all about taking your dark night of the Soul and making it allow you to be sexier, more radiant, more fun, more vibrant. So it's such a beautiful song for shadow work. So if you're doing some shadow work right now, definitely check out that song. My shadows made me sexy, plus they gave me some more ass. And it really was a song I created after my divorce, finding out my then husband had been cheating on me throughout the relationship, sending me into the darkest of abyss where I did the deepest shadow work of my entire life. So let's talk about shadow work and relationships, because I feel that's where a lot of it is. So when we don't do shadow works in relationships, we end up with role mates rather than soulmates. Role mates are people who are playing out roles that we believe we need to be safe, to feel wanted, to feel chosen. So we are not actually looking at the person, but we are looking at a void in our lives, a void within ourselves. And we are choosing who we think based on society and our conditioning. Who would be the right person for that? So based on my ethnicity, my upbringing, and what I think I need and who I want to become more like, I will choose someone to fill that role. It's like casting an actor for a movie. This is how 99% of people choose who they marry. But through having your dark night of the soul, through doing shadow work, through looking at all of the ways you've even ended up in a relationship like that, from your childhood, from your family structure, from your ancestral lineage, from societal conditioning, movies you watched, all of just society's programming, you're able to then move beyond that and say, I don't want to have a role mate. I want to have a soulmate. A soulmate is someone who you feel a deep soul connection with. You genuinely feel love, you genuinely feel seen. You genuinely feel chosen because of who you are, not because of a role that you're playing. That if, well, if I stop playing this role, then they aren't gonna wanna be with me either. But rather, it's a soul to soul connection of I see you and I've known you from different lifetimes. And I don't know where this dance is gonna take us, but I'm having so much fun dancing with you right now. And by the way, it's gonna take us to some underworld journeys. Because if there's one thing that's inevitable with a heart opening is there's a heartbreak. And that heartbreak doesn't necessarily mean a separation. But even in relationship, you will break each other's hearts. But choosing to stay together, to work through that, to communicate that and to come back even stronger. Like the Japanese phrase of Kintsugi. So that is to take a broken plate and to weld it together with this gorgeous gold lacquer and it becomes even more beautiful. And that's the love between soulmates that when there is a rupture, you come together and the love becomes even stronger. Through diving into one another's shadows and being honest with your own shadows, you can really see each other. And that thing that we really want someone to fully accept and understand us, we can only have through showing the parts of ourselves that we hide. But if I'm hiding the thing that I feel, you're never going to want to be with me. If you know this about me, you know and start to think about what is that for you? You it might be if you knew I had this health challenge, you would never want to be with me. Or if you knew that I struggled with anxiety or depression, or if you knew that I love to dance. If you knew that I question whether I want children. If you knew whatever the thing is for you, what is that thing that you feel shame around? What is that thing you feel like if, if someone were to know this about you, they would not want to be with you, so you hide it. I'm too loud, I'm too bold, I'm too creative, I'm too sexual, I'm too quiet. I'm too this the two thing. What's that for you? So that's your shadow work right there and now. How can you own that thing about yourself? How can that thing about you actually be a huge blessing? How can that thing actually be what has made you into the most radiant version of you that you are today and will continue to and through, even diving deeper into it will be your path to your greatest love. So maybe your health challenge caused you to be present with your body, to take it slow, to be easy on yourself, to listen, to learn self care. Maybe your heartbreak led to you being more heart open to learning things about yourself in love that you would have never before. Maybe your traumatic childhood caused you to look deeper into your nervous system and healing and regulation and somatics. Maybe your, you know, love for dancing and showing up online is what makes you come alive and open hearted and share yourself for all of the women in your family who couldn't, who, who were forced to cover themselves and hide themselves and you were dancing for all of them. So when you can begin to own that part of yourself and actually see it as your greatest gift, you no longer have shame around it. And when you no longer have shame around it, then there's no need to hide it. You know, I remember when I first got divorced. You know, in Persian culture, being divorced is like the worst thing ever. It's like you are like, like we even say it's like you're broken. That's even what they call you. And I was so angry. I was like, I didn't even do anything. I didn't even chew like choose as I was the one who got cheated on. And now I'm divorced and now I have to carry that. And I was so angry about this. But then I realized I'm like, how can I be so grateful that I got divorced? And I'm like, well, it taught me everything about love. I would have never become this open hearted, would never care this much about romance. I would never have this much empathy. I would never have this much range. I would never be. I'm like, I'm just so much more loving to every single person in my life, every person I interact with. I'm just chose to make myself the living embodiment of love. And I thank goddess for that divorce for it. So because of that, why would I ever hide that when it's like the best thing that could have ever happened to me? So this is the gift of that shadow work coming back full circle. That thing we have shame around is actually our superpower. The thing that we don't want anyone to know about us actually becomes the thing we start the conversation with because it no longer makes us wrong or bad, but actually makes us whole because we've integrated it and we're no longer afraid of it. So I can say, yeah, I create content on social media and I love it because I get to be myself full time. Time, yeah, there are definitely times I'm on my phone too much. But there are also beautiful moments where I connect with people in my audience and have the most incredible conversations with them that I could have never done without social media. And it's both. And it doesn't need to be this like I'm this or I'm that. It's an and. And that's what shadow work is. It's and you are your light and your shadow. Without the light, there is no shadow. The shadow is just where the light is surrounding the body. So if you think about it that way, light surrounding us is what gives us our shadow. Our shadow is our humanity. It's the human part of our body that's being Cast because we are surrounded by light. But we are humans, we are divine, and we are also these mortal beings. So we're not here to have no shadows. We're not here to be perfect and get everything right. That would be so fucking boring. Think our shadows make us sexy. They're what make us come alive. They're what give us grit. They're what give us humor. Hello. Like, how would you crack a joke without some drama? Like, I don't even know. That would be so boring. You know, it's. It's what gives us that sensibility that when we can feel like someone else has gone through it but come out the other side, it's like there's something so magnetic about them. They're spunky, they're cracking jokes, they don't give a. And it feels so good to be around. And that's the gift of shadow work, that you can even crack a joke about that thing because you're not hiding it, you're not suppressing it. It's that energy of suppression that creates the shame. The shame that makes you sick. And that's what actually turns into dis ease later in life. But literally, through integrating our shadows, we are changing the frequency that they carry in our body. We're neutralizing it, and they actually turn into our highest gifts of consciousness. So remember we were talking about stress of like, oh my God, stress. I'm working all the time. Why. Why do I feel like I need to be productive? Well, what's on the other side of that? It's peace. It's. Even if I do nothing in my life and I just am, I am worthy of living. And only through me overworking myself would I realize that only through you going deep into the shadow would you find the light. It's actually impossible to. You've got to hit that wall to have the U turn. So this is my invitation for you to write down those things that you may feel shame around, guilt around, not want people to know about you. And write down how they are actually your gift, how they're actually the greatest thing that's ever happened to you. And I also want you to write down what are the things you hate about other people. Like, I hate people who are self indulgent. I hate people who are overly sexual. I hate people who are narcissistic. And then write down and really sit first. Sit with it. I like to take a walk and like, record myself on my voice memo. And I just kind of like, do a hot girl walk. And I'm like, ways that I am also a narcissist, you know, but that's shadow work right there, there. Because it's, it's one thing to look at the shadows we have within ourselves and owning it, but we also got to look at the things that we hate about other people and how that is within ourselves. So there's an improv practice that I'm going to share with you guys. I share it with my embodiment coach students, which is another certification I have in in Highest Self Institute. I will also link that below if you want to study with me. It's a three month training in my triple E method. Emote, embody and express. Lots of deep shadow work there. And also moving it through, through our bodies and then creating a career for yourself, helping other people do the same through being an embodiment coach. So in practice I give our students is to improv act the thing that you hate about other people. So let's say I, you know, I hate narcissistic people, right? So then the role that I would play in improv is someone who's super narcissistic. Oh my God, you need to give me this, this, I need that like D D D D D and act it out to the extreme and then see what is it bringing up. For me, it might be bringing up I want to be more like that. Or it might be bringing up I never want to be that. But there's always going to be one extreme or the other. Because it wouldn't bother you if you didn't feel some form of extreme emotion around it. So if you are extremely triggered by narcissistic people people, it's because you either deep down inside feel you are a narcissist. You got to look at that part of yourself. Doesn't mean you are, but you may be so afraid of it that you have suppressed it, therefore you hated other people. Or it's that I never want to be a narcissist. So I'm going to suppress, suppress, suppress, suppress, suppress. And that energy is so foreign to me and I hate it so much. And actually your work is to actually call more of that energy in. So this is a really edgy practice that I give. And you can do it with anything in life. So, you know, because the thing is, our triggers are only triggers because there's something there. So something that triggers someone else might not trigger you at all and vice versa. So for example, let's say you're really triggered by people who are always late. You know, likely you feel some sort of Very strong way about it. You either are always on time time. And you hate people who are late because you feel like it's rude and disrespectful. And you never want to be like that. It's the most horrific thing and you never want to be like that. So you're extremely triggered by them. Or you're actually secretly envious of them because, wow, how could they just take.

Their time like that?

The way that they just, like, operate in their own world. I wish I could be more like that. Most likely it's both. So the very thing that's a trigger for us is we never want to be like that because we think it's the most horrible thing. But deep down inside, we actually really want to be like that. Deep down inside, we actually want to put ourselves first. Deep down inside, we want to take our time on things. Let's say it's I. I'm very triggered by girls who dance on social media. You know, I used to get people, they were like, when you would dance on social media, it was so triggering for me. And then they would realize they're doing their own shadow work. It's because they deeply desired also to be free and expressed on social media. So really had nothing to do with me. It was their own shadow work. I was just the mirror for them. Them. And that's what this life is. The things that are triggers for us are just little mirrors back to ourselves, around what are the aspects of ourselves we haven't integrated. Someone else might scroll right past it. It means nothing to them because their triggers are somewhere else. Because their shadows are somewhere else. So look at what annoys you about other people. The thing that's like the very worst thing. I never want to be that that's where your shadow work is. All right. There is so much here in this. I could talk about shadow work for hours. I teach about this in our Dharma coaching training and our Embodiment Coach training at my school Highest Self Institute. So I'll have both of those links below, as well as my new song, Sexy Dark Night of the Soul and the music video for that. So thank you so much for tuning in. I am so excited to see you do shadow work. Please re leave a review for this podcast. Share with me what came up for you. I would love to hear it. Hear anything. Any topics that you would love for me to talk about on the podcast. So just leave a review on the podcast store. Share with me any any topics you have, questions you have guests you'd like me to have on and I'm all ears. And as a free gift, I will give you my Womb meditation. So this is a meditation where you can connect to your sacred womb space and receive her answers, which is our own divine feminine. It's that inner darkness within ourselves and it's where we hold all of our power. So all you gotta do is leave a review. When you go to podcast, go to the bottom where it says reviews. Leave a review, take a screenshot before you hit submit and then email it over to me@saharaiam sahararose.com you can find that email and everything I've mentioned in the show notes. And please subscribe so you can stay tuned for future episodes. We got this on YouTube Spotify video so you can see the gorgeous set and the outfits that I'm wearing in my beautiful black lipstick and also listen to it on Apple Podcast app. So thank you again so much for tuning in. Share with your friend, have a conversation about shadow work, do some of the prompts together and I can't wait to see the magic it creates in your life. All right, I'll see you in the next one. Namaste.

Trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom, Trust your inner guidance. So trust your intuition. Just trust your inner wisdom, trust your inner guidance.