607: Love Expert: Calling In Sacred Union Through Devotion with Kels Kazarian

And in my world, to be in devotion more than anything is to be on our knees listening to the guidance of the divine. That's like our first and primary devotion is to God, is to the universe, source, spirit, the divine, whatever it is, to that higher power, that ineffable power. If our devotion is there, you can't miss the boat. Just flow, surrender Let go Just flow, surrender Let go I'm the one I've been waiting for Just flow, surrender Let go, go Just flow, surrender Let go Just flow, surrender Let go I'm the one I've been waiting for.

Welcome back to the Highest Self podcast. My name is Sahar Rose, and on this podcast I love to talk about spirituality, the divine feminine matters of the heart. But make it fun, modern and relatable so it can actually serve your needs. So if you've been on the spiritual journey for a while, it probably found its way into your relationships. And I would say for me, my on my knees moment of finding out about infidelity in my marriage was really my awakening into the path of the heart. The path of the heart, wow. Has been the ultimate mystery school that has taught me so much about myself. You know, I feel encoded in all of us is this knowing that we are here for this great profound love. You know, to truly merge with someone, to co create something that can only exist through the unique alchemy of these two souls. To have someone who is your best friend and your confidant and your collaborator and your lover. But sometimes we look around us and we're like, I don't see anyone really having this here. Am I Delulu? Does this exist? Like, is this my Disney princess consciousness? Or is this deep yearning for me to feel met emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, is this a real knowing? And it's something that I have really sat with because deep in my soul and deep in my. My womb, I feel and know it to be true. And I often have to remind myself to not look out at the world around me as an example of what's possible, but rather to reorient and remember that look at my dharma, look at my career. It is not something that anyone has ever had before, right? If I asked, and when I used to ask people like, is it even possible to make money doing what you love? They're like, not really. Imagine if I just stopped there. Because most people don't make money doing what they love. But that's definitely not my reality, right? So I share this because when we take advice from people who have limited experiences of the world, they will only share from their limited perceptions. And I really believe that we are the trailblazers of love this generation. We are here to embody a level of love and union and partnership that has never existed in this modern times. It's like an ancient, ancient remembrance of Isis and Osiris and Shiva and Shakti and Radha and Krishna and, you know, these beautiful lovers that created worlds. I'm always, you know, reminded of the story of Shiva and Shakti, that Lord Shiva was, you know, all the women wanted Shiva. He was this wild man, very embodied. He didn't go by societal norms, but he wanted, you know, enlightenment. He wanted to be one with brahma, universal source consciousness. So he went up to the mountain Kailash and you know, was sitting in his meditation and you know, all the women were trying to grab his attention until Parvati went to another mountain and she sat in her sadness, she sat in her meditation and she actually reached such a high vibration that he felt it, he felt the resonance. And he's like, who is that? Who is my match? And he went and found her and they made love in the rivers and the mountains and the forest and co created the universe. And I'm like, bitch, I want that. And it's like to sign up for, like, no, I'm not going to chase the man. I'm not going to wonder why he didn't text back or, you know, try to get his attention and instead really focus on this journey of becoming your highest self and erasing any limiting beliefs that, trust me, I've had of, well, no man's going to be as spiritual as I am. You know, no man's going to go has. Has gone as deep as I have. Well, those are actually limitations of your own depth and spirituality. But instead to really reclaim and not just for the dangling carrot of the man, but really the journey of becoming. You know, after my divorce, I really took that heartbreak and that pain that I was feeling and I turned it into music. And I made an album called My Body is an Altar. And the last song on this is a. Is a spoken word poetry piece that it was a saying I kept saying to myself during my divorce of, you know, maybe it's this guy. Could it be him? Oh, no, it wasn't him. What about that one? You know, that's like that exhausting feeling like, are you my soulmate? You anyone? Anyone? And then I realized I'm like, maybe this love story is really about me. Like maybe it's not. And then I met this man and it was all worth it because of this relationship. And like, trust me, that desire is still there. But, but look at who I've become in this process. And I really believe that that's what love is about. That there's nothing that's going to make you make the moves, the shifts, confront limiting beliefs, change ways of being in your family, have hard conversations with parents, like there is nothing on earth that's going to make you radically shift your life the way that the potential for love will. And I believe that that is why it's there. It's because it is this propelling force for us to really unbecome, unravel, and then remember the truth of who we really are. And maybe the constellation prizes. You have this mirror reflected back to you. But I feel that's also just the beginning because to me there's karmic relationships and dharmic relationships, and a lot of karmic relationships are, you know, definitely my previous marriage. You know, I learned so much. I became this version of me and I'm so grateful for that. Yet what I'm truly calling in, that I've never had with any partner is like a dharmic relationship to co create something that has never existed before. And the unique alchemy of these two souls can only come together with their unique backgrounds and understandings and individual dharmas that they have fully embodied and stepped into, not waited until they found the counterpart, but like on their own, without attachment. Even if I never find this other person, I'm, I'm, I'm stepping on this path. And I feel you reach this point that you've gone as far as you can on your own, that spirit's like, okay, next lesson. And now it's to co create with this person. And ever since attuning to that reality, like being an actual real thing that can happen. It's so interesting because the kind of relationships I would see around me before when I was of the understanding or perceived understanding that all women are more spiritual than guys, all women are more attuned to love than men are, you know, women are more truthful than men, you know, most men cheat, most women get over. Like, I could definitely make that case and find lots of evidence for it, right? But once I realized that I know it is possible to have a relationship where both parties are giving a hundred, not the woman giving 100, the guy giving 10, right or not, a dance of I give 100 until I got you. And now I'm going to pull away way. And I've seen so many of these Incredible dharmic relationships around me now that were there, but I almost like couldn't have the lens to see. And that really turned on the codes for like really calling in true devotion. And I feel before, you know, coming from a background of forced child marriage, you know, men having multiple wives, you know, I'm Muslim, throughout the Middle east, that's the norm. It was like devoting a man like that, like they have done nothing but harm us. And so I would see like images of even like friends of mine, they're like washing their man's feet. I'm like, blah. Like, no, they don't deserve, they don't deserve that, you know, because like this deep seated and righteous anger of not being met and the woman just giving and giving and giving and devoting and devoting and devoting. And so I feel my soul's journey has, has gone to move away from that, to devote to myself, devote to my dharma, devote to my path, to then from a genuine place, desire to be of devotion. Because at the end of the day I really believe that like life is not meant to be lived for ourselves. You know, it's like a certain emptiness that happens when you only live for yourself. But you have to go on this journey of individuation from your family, from your society, religion, like all of these things. But then to come back into like really devoting yourself to another, but like to your children, you know, which are like the ultimate reason I believe, like why we are here. And again, I never wanted to have kids until like diving into this journey until I met them. And then I was like, oh no, you're the unconditional love I've been waiting for my entire life. It's not even through romantic relationship, that's the unconditional love. And it completely just shifted even how I see relationships. So these have been contemplations that I've obviously been deeply sitting with. And I came across this beautiful queen Kels on Instagram that was sharing about devotion and you know, and I was ready to receive these, these lessons now, you know, and it's funny because the way society tells us is after you've gotten cheated on, you should probably never trust a man again. But I just decided, no, this is actually going to be the reason why. And not from a spiritual bypass place, but going so deep in the betrayal wounds and trauma wounds to like genuinely know that they're there is a counterpart for me. And even the word counterpart is like almost limiting. But like my highest form of expression from myself will also be to Be in devotion to another and then in devotion to God and in devotion in who God channels through us. And before we drop into this episode, be sure to hit subscribe wherever you're listening to this podcast. That is the best way to stay up to date on the latest episodes. We've got this in video format, so if you're just hearing my voice, be sure to to also watch our fabulous outfits on video as well on Spotify, YouTube or the Apple Store. This is the best way to stay in the flow with future conversations and also allows the podcast to reach more people. So hit subscribe so I can keep vibing with you on all future episodes. Now let's get into this one. So I'm excited to go there. She's nodding along this whole time. Without further ado, let's welcome multi dimensional intimacy expert Kels on the Highest Self podcast.

Thank you so much, Sahar. It is such an honor to be here with you and so many things in your transmission there. I'm just like, ooh, ooh, we could go into that. We could go into that. Because it's such a deep journey to choose to trust the masculine again after having our hearts shattered and after like literally coming down to our knees and hitting rock bottom in distrust. And it just says something about the caliber of woman that you are that you refuse to let that break you and you allow it to strike you open to the construct of truth, which, the construct of truth, which good men are deeply attuned to, is that men want to provide and support and love and care and create structure and be of integrity. Like, that is the truth of masculine nature. There's just so much distortion in the world around us also with the feminine. Right. And so sometimes we get met with these super distorted templates of the masculine. And I'm the. I'll just give my little disclaimer here. I am heretical in nature, both in the new age world and both in, like, modern religion. I will, like, challenge different belief systems that may exist or may like, be total norms within these communities. And when it comes to like, the truth of a man and the truth of your soul, if you can break open to truth, that's when you can be met and penetrated by him. I don't believe that relationships are perfect mirrors. Do some things get mirrored? Absolutely. But to be like, okay, you got cheated on, so you must have been leaking energy in your relationship. No, absolutely not. And in the soul contract, in the karmic journey in the past lives, there was a piece of you that was available to that only so that you could get to hear of. Because I personally. And I'm biased, right? This is the colored glasses that I see the world through. I personally believe that being in right relationship with the masculine and truly owning our feminine essence, even though it may express a million different ways. I mean, we're both business owners, we're both, you know, doers. And, like, we were talking about, like, we have big career drive in our lives. But by owning our femininity and coming into a healed relationship with the masculine, that is the cleanest and clearest template. I do think that union in its highest form will change the world. I think that it is union that will bridge heaven on earth. And it's not like we're gonna, like, ascend to the fifth dimension or, like, you know, go off to some other interdimensional space basket, you know, but that we, through union and through love, will elevate the frequency on earth to the mechanism where distortion just can't operate, where it actually, like, feels like you're dying to consider cheating on someone, where devotion is just this. It becomes a biological construct. But right now, we. I keep saying this, like, we are on the front lines of reprogramming what it is to relate in a world of, like, swipe right culture and, like, oh, something better over here. And in the more new age circles, you know, like, open poly and, like, no shade, no shame. Everyone, like, to each their own. But what is it to actually radically hold devotion? Something that has more traditional values but without those. Like, you were speaking of your ancestry. Like, without it feeling like change, without it feeling like shackles. That's the word I'm looking for, right? To not be shackled by our devotion, but to actually have it come from an authentic place of wholeness that's pouring through us. And I don't know that every soul on the planet right now has this calling within them, or I don't know that every soul on the planet right now is ready to do the work, to awaken this. So many people in your shoes would have absolutely grumbled. They would have fallen, they would have hardened, right? I always say, like, it's so easy to build up a wall around your heart. The hardest thing in the world is to tear down those bricks. But if you shield your heart, you are literally shielding your light, your transmission, your service from the world. And I think my guess would be because you are so service oriented, it was not an option because that would be in disservice to the hundreds of thousands of people that you get to interface and deeply affect their consciousness. So it's because of that deep service, that deep devotion. I'll use the word God, insert whatever word resonates for you here, right? Your deep devotion to the divine, to something greater. And then all of the humans that fall under, like, that umbrella of service that you actually couldn't crumble. And I can relate to this in my most recent breakup, where the parts of me that wanted to absolutely lose faith were there. But I am so convicted in my beliefs and in these teachings and in this way of being, I was like, wow, if the thing that I literally thought I would spend the rest of my life in, right? You knew that is crumbling. God has to have something better in store for me. I refuse to be a victim to this situation. I refuse to believe that there is not something greater in my destiny timeline. In my world, it's always this or better. But when you're at a certain level of consciousness, that better takes a moment to arrive, because the deeper you get and the more devotional you are, and this is edgy to say that pool becomes a little smaller, A little smaller, A little smaller for the humans that are actually templated for that dharmic resonance with you. I don't believe in one soulmate. I'm like, I believe in my school of thought. You can have up to 12, and they are souls that are templated for you on the different timelines that you may evolve into. And that, like, is it you? Is it you? Could it be you? I always say that I'm like the duck in that little children's book where I'm like, yeah, are you my beloved? Are you my beloved? And you're searching for it everywhere, and it's oozing a lack of wholeness. That's what the single soulmate consciousness creates for us. That there's one person, and how am I ever going to find him? And I better have my eyes wide open when I'm at the grocery store just in case. When I'm pumping gas, like, are you kidding me? It's so not whole. And when we open up the field to, like, there's actually a collection of humans. But then when our timeline continues to up level and up level because we're so in alignment with our dharma, with our service, with our work, with our offerings, with, like, literally up leveling souls on this earth to again be on the front lines of consciousness in a really clean and clear way, well, that 12 moves to six, and then you up level to the next level, that moves to three. And so that pool does become smaller and smaller. But there is no way that what is meant for you cannot be yours. And in my world, to be in devotion more than anything is to be on our knees listening to the guidance of the divine. That's like our first and primary devotion is to God, is to the universe, source, spirit, the divine, whatever it is, to that higher power, that ineffable power. If our devotion is there, you can't miss the boat. It is only when we are operating in some form of distortion that then we don't hear the little call to Dubai, don't hear the little call to this place, to this journey. And we don't listen and we try to stay safe, which is, you know, you mentioned the Disney programming. The Disney programming of like, oh, devote. I always make the joke like, I'm delulu and devotional. It's a mix. But I am delusional for my faith in God and my faith in a greater world. I'm not delusional through the lens of the Disney Princess programming, where it is I'm going to be saved by love. Anything that we think is going to save us, fix us or heal us, is ultimately rooted in distortion. We can't, like, if you're going to it knocking on the door, have you ever, like, taken a course or, like, called a friend for an answer? Pulled a card and you're like, tell me what to do. And then you're like, it doesn't give you any real answer or it, like, guides you down that, like, pathway that's just not quite the right pathway because we're seeking to be saved. And, like, we can't be saved. The only person who can save you is you. And your relationship to this ineffable construct of creation. And that connection point, it's not even like that force can save you in any way. You're not gonna, like, get rescued and, like, raptured up into the, you know, sky. Like, we're not gonna, like, go to the fifth dimension and live on a cloud and, like, eat cotton candy together. Like, it's not to be saved implies that there's actually something wrong with what's happening. And true devotion is devotion to all of it, to everything that's occurring. And this isn't a bypass. This is a witnessing and a neutralizing and not letting our, like, trigger and our reactivity and all these different pieces come into play with the depth of our devotion to trusting what is occurring and still taking, like, initiatory action towards that which we desire. Right. Those little whispers from God on the Wind to go to this place or smile at this person or open in this way, or wear this color like you. If it's those teeny tiny keys that will align that partnership for you. And I mean I could just go.

And go and go.

So I'll pause for a minute and.

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It'S like, how much sensation can the feminine hold, right? And can you actually hold the sensation of your desire and stay open to that? And again, these are like the constructs of devotion, of what it is to be a devotional woman. And you know, the contemplation of is the celibacy, like the proclamation of that. This is something that's like a conversation because I get a little. Is the proclamation of the word celibacy. Actually keeping us away from what we desire, as opposed to, I'm waiting for an aligned match.

Yeah, I. I never set the intention of I'm going to be celibate for X amount of time. I always said I'm gonna wait for someone that there's a heart and yoni connection with.

Yes.

But when you're so attuned, right, it's like you can feel if he's not really present with you, if he's not really there. And so it's almost just been like, it's never felt worth it.

Right. And so then within this process, you are, like, going on a date here or there and having some form of connection, which I feel like, you know, there's these things that women do when they want love and they want their king. And one is make the checklist. Two is go through a period of intentional celibacy because let me purify my vessel so that I'm ready. And for him, which in it's that form of celibacy, it's like, babe, I would just love to see you have boundaries about who you let in your body rather than, like, need to, like, purify and wait. And like, you know, in this whole process, it's like what you're saying, you're like, no, I just have standards. And that's like the higher consciousness of this. But, you know, like you were saying also, like, girls will write their lists. Like, you know, you're like, okay, the standards get really high. How much of that is our ego distorting? What it is that we think that we want? Like, okay, you know, like, what's the viral thing? Like, Six3 Finance. You know, it's like, I could say that I want him to have this color eyes and this color hair and do this for work and have been through these initiations and all these different pieces. And look, I can call in whatever I want, but I do believe that at times, if we call in things, be it the white Tesla or the Six3 finance man, it can put us on a distorted timeline because are we actually attuning to what God wants for us first? So over and over again, I drop the list. I write how I want to feel in his presence, because that's what I'll actually know. And, yeah, maybe he's done the. You know, I would love a man who's on his knees praying for me the way that I am for him. You know, you would love a man on the medicine path. And maybe these are important things. And also maybe God has A greater plan that we can't even fathom about the caliber of man and caliber of initiations that he's been through. And I think that this is, again, where the devotion piece is. Is, am I in devotion to my ego or am I in devotion to the mystery? Right? And the etymology of mystery is the divine secret of God. So I always imagine, like, God, like, just being like, I'll reveal it later, right? It's this, like, so who am I to try to be like, oh, the divine secret of God looks like this. Like, it's going to be like this. It's like, no, I have to be in utter submission and, like, knowing that it's always going to work out for me. But it is a secret, and that's part of life, and that's part of the mystery. So who am I to know, like, the number of times I've gotten a download about what his hair color looks like or, you know, these different things where I'll find him. And then I go there and I'm doing the. Are you my beloved? Are you my beloved? And I think that there's something about a woman who has a template for devotion, a woman who's actually designed to offer her heart in this way. Like, we were talking a little bit before the podcast of a connection where you were like, over oracling, we called it, for this man where you're like, oh, you're lighting candles and you're praying and you're in these deep rituals on behalf of him. Like, women who have that.

That.

That is rare. That is rare.

I know. I showed someone my altar. She's like, this is a very intense altar to make for someone you've been talking to for one month. I'm like, just what I do. Okay. I'm a devotional love queen. Like, you know, but it's almost like there's so much love, and I know so many women. It's like, to give. And I'm like, and I love to give love. I love to pray for people, too. And it, like, makes me come alive. But I feel the sadness is to not have someone to pour it into.

Absolutely. And that's where it's like, okay, in the meantime, into God and into my service. And, like, on your knees. What does it look like to be in devotion to the man that you will be with right now? And so that's one thing that I do love about the high standards. Again, I'm like, the word celibacy. I'm like, I don't know about you. I don't know if you're a spell being cast in some, like, nunnery against my being this. But, like, having the standards is like, yeah, if you were partnered right now, if you were in devotion to your man, no, you wouldn't be hooking up with Joe Schmo and this person over here, like, absolutely not. You know, and so there is a piece of that of, like, what does it look like to, like, be praying for him every single day now and also trusting God so deeply that it will land when it's time. And so what do we do with all of this devotion? I mean, this is.

And can you also share, like, what kind of prayers you do for your future partner?

Yeah, I mean, every night before I go to bed and I will just, like, place into the field here that I do not follow any Abrahamic religion of any sorts. I am like, a woman of deep faith, and I have fully reclaimed the word of God. But I not associated with any specific religious beliefs. It's just like Kelsey Mishmash, what comes through and what the weird oracle brings in. But every night before I go to bed, I not only, like, pray in gratitude for everything that I'm experiencing, and then I take some time and I pray for my family, and then I offer some asks, and then I think about this man and I say, God bless his every step. One foot in front of the other. May you open his heart to the highest experiences, the biggest blessings that he is absolutely destined for. May you bless his path. May you bless his bank account. May you bless his relationships. May you clear any false relationships that may be in the way of he and I finding each other. And I'll just kind of go in this transmission state of just, like, opening that doorway to, like, if he was sitting right next to me, how would I be praying for this man? Right. Have you ever had a sleepover with your best friend, like, in your older years, and then you guys, like, pray together before bed? And I'm just like. What comes through me is I'm just like, babe, like, make all doors open for you. You know, it's just like this, like, deep and profound love and being able to actually offer that to our beloveds. Now, when we are operating in a distrust with the masculine in any way, shape, or form, there's something that can feel like giving away our power by praying. And I know that you don't have this problem, but for some of our listeners, this might be something that comes up is like, it's challenging for me to either pray for my current partner or to pray for my future partner, because there's a part of me that feels like we're in this, like, energetic.

Competition with one another or even resentment for people in relationships.

Yeah. You know, like, one of the, like, pre questions that we talked about was like, okay, like, what do we do? Like, how do we exalt the masculine if we don't respect them? You can't. You cannot rightfully be in relationship with a man if you do not respect him.

I want to, like, really zoom into this because I saw last year in my medicine journey that, like, on a deep level, I didn't respect most men because I was holding on to the anger of the feminine. You know, I'm such a female and parent person, very close to my mother and the woman in my lineage. And. And that's what my life's work.

Right.

The rising of the feminine. So I was so attuned to the abuse and the abandonment of the womb, you know, so on a deep level, it was hard for me to respect men when it was almost like all I could. Could really see was the pain they had caused the feminine. And so it started with me just finding, like, first just, like, really diving into, like, what does the word respect even mean to me? I'm like, do. What does respect? It's like, do I respect a human's. Like, yeah, duh. And so really diving into that. And, like. And then my father, it's like, do I respect my father? And I was like, yes, but I didn't respect this. And, like, kind of tearing apart, like, just because someone did one thing that you did not agree with or even was not right does not take away your respect for them as a person. I kind of started repeating. And then even people who. My ex, who cheated on me, Do I respect him as a human, though? I do. I do. There. He has so many beautiful qualities to him as well. And it was like rebuilding what respect meant. And then from that level, it's like, yes, I respect men as much as I respect women. And also seeing and like, a version of men that I feel they've not yet stepped into yet, like, seeing the king in him, speaking into the king in him, because that is who he will become, rather than waiting for, oh, you gotta show me first.

Right.

Which is how we've been trained.

And it's also a fine line between loving a man for his potential and not loving him for who he fully be. But I'm gonna drop back to respect really quickly. So I love etymology. Right. Because it's the breaking apart of words, looking at their original meaning. And when we do this, I oftentimes look at Latin, Greek, Hebrew, and if we can access it, Aramaic. And I do Hebrew and Aramaic because those are some of the original languages that we that were written about God. And so because my work is so intertwined with like the multidimensionality of love and God and all those things, it's really interesting when you start picking apart words. So the etymology of respect, re inspect, it means to see clearly. So when we start looking at the etymological definitions, their original meaning, when the word came into form, right, in original language languages, we start seeing that to respect is not like, oh, like I see you in high regard, right? That's the definition, to see someone in high regard, but it is simply to see clearly. And so then can I look at my Father who's flawed, and do I respect every choice that he's made through the definition terms? No, I don't hold every choice that he's made in high regard. But do I see him clearly?

Yes.

And thus I can respect him. And that is being able to go into a prison and look at men who have harmed women and see the humanity in them, the flaw, the wounding, the trigger, like this is that like ultimate, like, you know, Christ ask, like compassion, forgiveness, like love, which is the template of the new grid that we are opening through our love and through our devotion and through union is like just to see the humanity in people. So all the men who have harmed me, wronged me, hurt me, it's like I see them and I see them clearly and I don't need to accept it and I don't need to let you into my life because of it. But I can see you clearly. And thus my respect for the masculine can actually never waver. Right now, when a man is continually out of integrity, it's like I can see you clearly, but I cannot relate with you because you are not in alignment with the masculine principles that I want to seed my prayer into, that I want to believe in, that I want to surround myself with, which is men of integrity, men who are on mission and driven, men who seek to protect and provide even if that's not materially right. Provision can look a lot of different ways, Even holding space or deep hug, right? These are the kinds of men that I want to surround myself by. And so if you are not able to be this kind of man, respectfully, for my prayer for my womb, for what I'm welcoming into my life, and for the hundreds of women that I serve, I have to bow out of this connection, right? And so it's actually like almost like cherry picking. The kind of people that we allow to stay in our life because whatever we keep ourselves around, we then become in resonance too. And there's like this, you know, be it from our cultures, be it from like, you know, third wave feminism of, like, we must compete and be better with men. And you've tried to take from us, like, all these different belief systems. It's hardened our heart to the beauty of the masculine. And talking to my brothers like, it is a hard world to try to hit on a woman nowadays. You're going to look like a predator if you approach her. They're going to think that you. You're creepy. Next thing you know, your picture's gonna be on someone's story, some influencer's story that this guy tried to buy her coffee, right? It's like this, like there's. It's such a hard world for men to actually be in their masculine. And so it's like, oh, I see them stumbling and I see them falling. And where have. If the world is about union, where have we as women also not made it safe for them to be in their masculinity? And where in the past have we as women not stood up to the distortion that has existed? Right? And of course, in, you know, different timelines, like, our ancestry is like, yeah, we were not able to do so, but we can now. And so how do we, like, not be the bystander when something is out of integrity? When a man is out of integrity. Oh, he's out of integrity. I'm going to ghost him. No, I'm going to tell you what you did and the way that you acted was not an integrity. And I'm not here to, like, shame you and tell you what's what, but I'm here to invite you to a higher standard. And here's the cool thing about being a devotional woman. Your essence, your body, anything. Like, when a man comes into vibrational resonance with you in any capacity to the point where he's able to have a conversation or a kiss or any sort of connection, it will initiate him.

Oh, yeah.

The devotional feminine is initiatory in her essence. Everything that is not rooted in truth, truth will become illuminated for him. Because the masculine in his nature is tuned to truth. The fallen masculine architecture, the distorted masculine is out of touch with truth. That's the lying, that's the cheating. That's the, you know, all those different things. The feminine is tuned to Love. The fallen feminine architecture is seeking love from a lack of wholeness. This is sexual distortion. This is siphoning. This is manipulation, right? Doing all of these things to get love. So if we can hold the exalted love, this man, no question. And it doesn't need to be like, this big, turbulent, like, melodrama of, like, all their relationship starts falling and collapsing and they lose their job and blah, blah, blah. It can be so gentle and so graceful. There's the mythos of the lady of the Lake. Are you familiar with the lady of the Lake at all? So it's a part of Arthurian legend. And the lady of the Lake lives in Avalon, and she lives in the lake and she lives, like, deep underwater. And it is said, and I'll only tell a bit of this mysticism here because we can get deep, deep, deep and super esoteric. But it is said that she forged Excalibur. This is why I wear a sword on my neck. Excalibur was the sword that King Arthur, like, pulls out of the stone, right? We're familiar with this, like, a little bit it. And it was said when this sword was placed into the stone, that only a man who was operating of, like, who was wanting to, like, literally pick the nation up out of distortion. And really this was the masculine distortion of wanting to, like, you know, kill, pillage, you know, all these different things, like, claim land. How can you actually claim land, right? And that it was only a man who was in right relationship with the Earth and with his community and with his integrity and holding these really high masculine standards and ways of being not distorted by his ego would be able to pull the sword out. And so it's said that the lady of the Lake forges the sword. And there's various times in King Arthur's journey where his ego does come up, and then the sword breaks or he loses it. And over and over again, the lady of the Lake appears in a stream, in the lake, in a river, any body of water. And just once he realizes his distortion, she just picks up and holds the sword. Are you ready? Are you ready to take this mantle of protection, of provision? And there's even more mythos to the sword that speaks to its ancient protection of these deep devotional feminine sects of women, such as the priestesses, such as Mary Magdalene. Like, this mythos gets really deep and really juicy and really powerful. But over and over again, the lady of the Lake, she's not like, excuse me, like, you fell into distortion. Like, shame, shame, shame. She's just like, hey, sword over here. When you're ready. You realize when you're ready, you can take this and protect the feminine. You can take this and protect the earth from distortion. You can take this and protect us from the men who seek to siphon, to take, to extract from the land, from the communities, from the wellsprings of the, you know, the fertile soil, like blossoming out wheat and feeding the people. And so our job as devotional feminine women is to not be like, I'm here to teach you because I'm so spiritual, but to just be like, hey, sword when you're ready. Sword when you're ready. I know that within every man is the desire to provide and protect somewhere deep in there, right? To honor, to care, to revere, to. To be a leader. And it is simply by me holding that truth in my womb and staying so rooted in my prayer and my belief and my faith in the good in men and also the good in women, the truth of union and the power of what it is that I can then hold out the sword rightfully to these men. And so when we look at it through the lens of partnership, right, I'm here holding the sword, and only he who is rightful and destined will be able to pick up that sword.

Thank you for sharing. I love, you know, receiving these lessons through myths, and it's such a beautiful parable. What I feel, and I've experienced, and I know so many women have, is this patience that we often have when the men fumble, right? When they're out of integrity, when they're caught lying, you know, micro or macro. Right. And I find most women that I know will be very patient for a long period of time. They will put in the work. They will, to their ability, see the best in him. But then I find often what happens is then the men bow out. You deserve someone better than me. I can't do this. I can't be. I'm not ready for a relationship, you know, you're too good for me in that. And then so a lot of devotional women just feeling like, who are the men who are willing to step up to this plate? Who are the men who are willing to really be with an awakened woman who is going to bring out your triggers? It feels like a lot of these men are enticed by the priestess. And then when it's. When it's bringing up shadows and we can have that Kali energy of speaking truth with love, I feel that's our journey too, to, you know, dabble it with honey as much as possible. Right. And not just be like, this is the truth. Right. But there's this. This across the board. So many women I know of, like, who are these men who are ready for the initiation?

And I contemplate so deeply, like, the tone of the way that these women are delivering the sword because there is that ancient anger that's within us that's like, no, you are wrong and this is wrong. And what would it look like if we offered the masculine the sword through the lens of devotion and respect and wanting to see him as a better man rather than wanting to be right? And simultaneously, not every man is ready to be loved in this way. And so when we ask who are the men, they are all around. But it's just like when you said at the beginning of the pod where you were like, I couldn't see these dharmic relationships until I could could see it. This is where the delusional comes in. We have radical and delusional faith that this caliber of man exists. And also, we as women have to humble ourselves and receive his correction. Receive the sword coming back at us, receive the feedback. I can be so out of pocket, and I'm such a, like, loving devotional woman. And sometimes I step out of place and it's not like there's a place for me to be in, but, like, I'll get sharp and I'll get jabby, and I call him like a little blow darts, like, just like, you know, like, trying to, like, get him. And it's like, oh, sometimes I have to be checked. And I know if me at the caliber that I'm running at and that this is literally my life's work is I'm imperfect. So many people who don't even have, like, they haven't even been unveiled to the awareness of the this yet. These men are all around. And in fact, I would say that any man can become this man. Right? But it takes choice and free will. And the shadow of being a devotional woman is that there's a lot of our patterns and habits that want to prove how lovable we are and that we are the best devotional wifey. Don't you see? Right. Just today, I was having a conversation with one of my girlfriends about her desire to bring a dessert over to the guy's house that she's seeing.

And, oh, my God, it's so tempting. I'm like, I just want to make banana bread right now so badly, stopping myself from doing it.

And what we had to explore was, is the tone because you baked and you're in overflow and like, yeah, you want to bring this over or is the tone, is there any subtlety to it that's says look how great I am. Love me. Right? Because then that is an over giving to be loved and to prove our worth, which is a distortion. And then on the other side where it's like, oh, I just want to be helpful. So I like made his coffee in the morning and made his bed and folded his laundry which like some of us just have a little bit of a kink for like being a great housewife. It just like I'm like service e. But to a certain degree if I do all of those things, the coffee, the laundry, the making the bed, it the undertone of that to him is I don't respect you enough for you to take care of this yourself. It becomes a form of mothering and we just think that we're like, oh, doing all the greatest things. But it's like when you are packing his lunch every day, to a certain degree you're saying I don't trust that you can feed yourself right? Or at least assuming that he wants that done without asking and tuning in and figuring out like what his yeses are in the ways he likes to be tended to by a woman.

Honestly, life is so heavy and dense that the only thing that keeps me going is thinking about romance. Like I just feel like this is like our girly way of escaping just I mean personally for me, Dirty dancing.

Havana nights, like damn, I wish I could have lived that that experience.

But I also am into like an Indiana Jones like adventurous kind of figure that we're like traveling the world, going to sacred sites. So whatever your fantasy is, there is this app called Dipsea that is a female founded app with spicy audiobooks written by women for the female gaze. So whether you're into rugged cowboys or Scottish sailors or a sexy rendition of Pride and Prejudice, like whatever your flavor is, they got something for you. I'm going to go for Rajasthani king here. I hope they have that. I should write it so you can get a 30 day free trial plus 25% off your annual subscription when you go to dipsy stories.com Sahara that's D I P S A stories.com Sahara for 30 days free and 25% off your subscription. And you can find that link in the show notes. Don't say it and warn you so.

Just intuition, just your inner wisdom just to end the guidance.

What I find, like what happens at least for me is like when you start relating with someone you really are growing feelings for them. You. You want to give. You. You want to increase the giving in the relationship so you lead first, right? So you're like, I like baking. It's easy for me to. And even if he wasn't around, I would want to do this for myself. So this is an easy thing for me to do and do that. However, there still is that. And I do think that sometimes this is actually really healthy of like, like, I'm giving more. Are you giving more? Are we bringing up, like the caliber of this relationship? And then when it's not, and it's like we're giving more folding laundry or doing these things, and he's just like, oh, cool. And then maybe he'll just think, oh, this is just normal now in the relationship and take that for granted. And then that's when the resentment builds. And then you see lots of people on social media giving the advice of, like, really pulling back. And you know that, that people are calling it dark feminine, but it's like, not actual dark feminine. It's just more like, hard to get. But then I find myself of like, but I don't want a relationship that's like that. I don't want a relationship with an avoidant man who I have to ignore him to, like, get a response, you know? So it's hard because it's like, I want to give, but then it's that fear. But maybe it's just the truth of if he's not also giving more, then this is just not in resonance and that means I will have to. To leave. Or I pull back and he pulls back. But then we're kind of just like staying at the surface.

So one of my teachers, her name is Jillian Panther Eminineeros on Instagram. She's amazing. So phenomenal. And she is always telling me, kelsey, you cannot give 100% best wifey ever off the bat. You have to take time to let those the full capacity of your devotion unveil. Because I am devotionally templated. I start loving you. I want to massage your feet. I want to give you like a three hour massage and session, right? I want to cook you dinner every day. I love to cook. But it's slowly, like letting the mysterious nature of the feminine unveil and slowly opening. It's not playing black cat, right? That it's just like one of these charms. A golden retriever black cat. And it's just like, like I'm actually just way too devotional to play this black cat. That's not who I am. But also this golden retriever of, like, available any moment, you know, like, that. It also screams not whole, not fully fulfilled. So when I'm like, oh, I really want to make dinner, and I want to, like, make a really fucking good dinner for him, I just take a moment and I'm like, is there anything in my body that is not fully coming from home? And I just scan and I tune in and I listen. And if I find something, I'm like, oh, hey, what do you need right now? And how can we, like, consciously move this energy so that I can make dinner but not have the thread of the lack of wholeness in there, right? And maybe that means that I don't end up, like, you know, frying the sage for on top. Like, the little extra touch that there's a part of me going, oh, yeah, he's gonna think I'm so great for that. But you have to be radically honest with yourself. And then there are like. That is a part of my nature of, like, I want to fry this age and do the extra and shave the truffle and whatever all the little things are, right?

I'll marry you.

I'm a woman. Like, I would like to do those things for someone, but that's when it's rightful. When actually, like, I'm. My devotion is in response. Response to him and the way that he shows up in relationship and the way that he shows up in love. I'm another Jillian quote. She's so great, you guys. Check her out. Another Jillian quote is, the feminine doesn't give. She gives back, which I love. It's like, I am so filled by the penetrative essence of this man and who he be and his leadership and how inspired I am by his beingness and the way that he loves and the way that he leads and the way that he guides that. Every devotional act that I do is a giving back, but it takes time to give back. You know, when you're in that, like, new relationship energy, and it's like, month two, you're not yet giving back. What you're giving back to is the new relationship energy that's actually sourced within you.

It's just your presence is enough.

Exactly. And, you know, a really good question that I get into for devotional women is, especially, you know, when you're grieving or missing a relationship or missing an ex, is, do you actually miss him? Or do you miss the feeling of who you were loving him? Because when it is your nature to be an utter, reverent devotion to a man, like, yeah, there's a part of me that feels like I am. Even though I'm so rooted in my service and God's will for me, I am not in my full service because I am not loving and serving and honoring and respecting a man in love. So there's a part of me that will then, like, yearn for past experiences or yearn for that template of the thing because it's how I want to know myself. So again, this is where we, like, how do I get down on my knees every day and be in devotion to the man that I will marry one day now and channel that devotion to him now as well as into God, as well as into my service?

I love that so much because I feel oftentimes as women, we feel like if I don't make the relationship that I want happen, it won't. You know, they say women are the leaders of love, which is true love is our realm. But I think sometimes we take that as, let me leave the relationship. Right? Like, when is the next time we're going to see each other? I want to go on this kind of date. Take me to this kind of restaurant. Like, I have some friends that are more like that. And I ask them. I'm Middle Eastern, so it's like my program is the total opposite of like, you don't even make eye contact. So I'm like learning. I'm like, but why? And she's like, well, I want to go to this kind of restaurant. And so how would he know unless I tell him? And I'm like, that makes sense. But then does it feel as good when you've just like made the whole relationship happen? You know? But I think it's our mistrust of if I don't lead and guide and keep green flagging him or keep the progression of the relationship, then it won't.

Right. And I think that this is like, you know, there are some pieces within polarity that do operate from a certain lens of distortion, especially in like pop culture polarity. But there are some pieces that are really true. And if you are constantly leading him, like the feminine leads with energy, right? It's her energy. If she's in trust of him, he's going to be in trust of her. If she trusts his capacity to lead, he's going to be able to lead. If you're like, I don't know if he's going to make the reservation energetically without him even knowing. He's like, I can't make the. I'm not going to make A reservation I don't want to.

Do you want to devote to a guy that you can't trust to make a reservation?

Exactly. But also, how much of that within the, you know, conscious field are you responsible for because of your own wounding with the masculine? And so, I mean, this is a little harsh, but if you're like, take me here, do this, buy me this, you're going to be dating a little bitch. You know, like, that's just the fact of it. Like, he's not ever going to lead. And you're always going to be disappointed because you've had to step into your masculine and lead the whole time. Do you want a man who wants to protect and provide for you? Are you willing to, you know, sit down and zip your little mouth and wait for him to lead you? Right? And you can also really sweetly and kindly suggest, like, you know what sounds so good? Like, I would love to go out to Middle Eastern food sometime when it's rightful. I trust you, but I love it. Right? Just planting a seed, even sweetly, letting him know your desires without being like, I want to go to this restaurant. It's totally different. Tone your desires. He's like, fucking. Has a little notes app full of, like, she said she likes Middle Eastern food. Like, whatever it is, right? Like, oh. Like, it's like, oh, I really love watching the sunset on Sundays. Like, it makes me really happy and just, like, naturally in conversation as you're, like, in life. And then he's like, oh, and if it is rightful, he will provide you with that experience. And the one thing about the masculine is whether we like it or not, this is really edgy. It's always provision. It's always, I believe. I believe that God is always guiding us through the masculine. So did I like it when, you know, my ex decided that he no longer wanted to get married and have children and did all these things? No, I didn't like it. But that was provision from God through his rejection, through his closure of our container. You know, if there was a guy that I was seeing, let's say, and they didn't message back, or like, a common thing in pop culture is like, you got ghosted. Is that not the provision then? Whether you like it or not, if he doesn't take you to Middle Eastern, he takes you to Italian. That is the provision. There's something in that for you. How can you look at the world through these, like, wide, sparkly eyes of like, okay, might not be what my egoic preference wanted, right? Same thing with you. Might not be Six, four blue eyes. And in finance, you might not check. It might not be what my ego wants, but I'm here. So how is it what I need? What. Medicine is in the field for me?

Okay, so let's like zoom into this because this is something I've been really sitting with, like, needs and preferences in a relationship on one perspective. Like, I feel the highest truth is like, to have no preferences and to allow and accept and, and find the love and beauty in it and anything that is right. It's like if your child drew you a picture, you wouldn't be like, oh, this wasn't a good picture. It's like you love the fact that they drew you a picture. And I feel that that perspective works really well in relationship. Right. When you're in a relationship, it's like finding the good in that person looking at the intention. However, in dating, I can find that not having preferences, not having needs can really set us up for like, you know what, I'm just gonna like, focus on the positive here and then overlook things that are just really not in alignment with what we're calling in. So I'm curious, like, where do we actually maybe do we even say, hey, these are my needs in relationship? These needs aren't being met. Do we even like, say that out loud in your perspective or more if we feel like our needs aren't being met? For example, he's like, not naturally, like, providing or leading or he's not inquisitive of asking you questions you're not feeling emotionally met. Would you make that request first or would you just kind of see it as this isn't the right relationship for me and bow out.

Okay, so multi tiered answer here, right? There's a. Yeah, like, you absolutely should have non negotiables in a connection. If you're just like, oh, whatever the wind blows me, it's like, that doesn't work. There's a certain level of faith. Like, yeah, there's a lesson in whatever the, the wind blows you. But at what level are we still dating for lessons or are we ready for that dharmic connection? Right. So you absolutely should have non negotiables. Some of my non negotiables are a little bit hilarious. You may not live in a van. Mind you, I live in Nevada City, so there's like whole different, you know, like, I need you to know where you are going to go to the bathroom in the morning. Like, you know, on mission that can look a myriad of different ways, but on mission has leadership qualities within Them is kind and compassionate and has empathy. Right. Those are my non negotiables. Obviously we have like she just threw.

An empathy in here, so that's gonna take a couple right now. She threw us a curveball with that one.

Empathy.

Damn.

Whoa.

I was like, I see you empathy though. No, the van one is like my.

Most like obscure, random. But like for me in my system, like that one actually does matter. That's.

I don't think you're asking for too much there. Yeah.

You know, but there could be a case made for almost any of these things. Like it's okay to have some preferences within your non negotiable, but you have to be built like this and have the like. Again, we want to be focusing on how the person makes us feel. How do I feel in his presence? I want to feel relaxed. I want to feel open. Another non negotiable is that I need to be intellectually stimulated or else I'm just going to get bored. And I think that you understand this because we have that same kind of fire. Right. There's a, like, how do I feel? Because I've been with some really smart men, but I don't feel.

Intellect and empathy is a hard duo to find.

It does exist. It does, but it's like I've been with smart men but where my. Our minds and channels don't quite the right way. Right. And that's okay. But more than anything it's not like, okay, when is the time to go? Like it's a feeling, you know, if it's worth working for. And yes, you absolutely, like, you give it its rightful time. Like let's say like leadership. Like he's not choosing the dates or making the decisions or whatever it is you give it rightful time. And you also track. Does he have leadership qualities in other areas of his life? Right. In work with his friendships? Or is he just a little bit more of a passive dude? Which is totally fine. But that's not really going to be for me. Right. Ambition and leadership kind of go hand in hand. And so it's like, okay, if you're on mission and you're ambitious towards your mission, then you're probably going to have leadership somewhere within you. And so then how can I invite you into it? Not through the lens of shaming you and emasculating you. And like I need a man who's a leader and that's just my non negotiable. And so if you're not able to like lead me and like plan the dates, like I'M gonna have to go. Like, that is not fun. As opposed to the energetic of being like, you know what I would love? I would love so much if you would choose where we went out to dinner. And you can give me two options, and I can choose from those options. But I really like when you make decisions and when you guys.

You're so cute. I want to take you to dinner. Now I'm melting.

Like, it sense makes. Makes me feel really good, and I feel like I can soften into you, and, like, my heart just melts a little bit more. And I know it's such a simple thing, but I would love to experience that more. And then you leave it and you dialing.

I said that like a fucking Capricorn. I really like Junichuan where we're going to dinner. I don't know, but it's good. Is there, like, a little bit more of a femme bad betrayal saying it?

Yes. And also, like, these are, like, my tones, right? This is, like my expression.

So my friend Ezzy, she's a dating coach. She was like, when men compliment, you just make sounds. I was like, what do you mean? She. And she had me practice, and she's like, just, like, purr. I was just like.

I mean, that's so not authentic to me.

Like.

But I would.

I think it's, like, finding your own way, right?

And so here's the piece. If you have something that you want to say to the masculine, invite him into. I would practice in the mirror and watch, trying different tones, different voices, different expressions.

Watch.

And you can see when there's something that's embodied truth in you, right? And so you can, like, watch how your cheekbones are sitting, how your shoulders are falling. Like, find where it's natural for you. But, yeah, it might be like, baby, you know what makes me feel so good? When you choose where we go to dinner, it always makes you feel excited and elated and like, aunt, like, oh, I just want to, like, lick you all over. Can you do that more for us? Right? Like, you know, it doesn't need to be in, like, my soft, like, you know me way. Oh, look, I just fucking purred. Now it's ending.

It's just purring. It's the tool. We all happening now.

We know.

No, I love that. And, you know, it helps because we're so used to speaking to friends, to colleagues, that often we just speak to men in that same way. And there is an art of the seduction and the asking and the changing our tone and the inviting in. And, you know, for me, making music has really, like, allowed me to access those different sides of myself of, like, you could like, say a song and get the message across. And it's like. But the tone and. And, you know, your voice and the resonance and how you're feeling in your embodiment and the way you're moving your hips and, you know, it really just creates such a different experience that can naturally call a man forward.

Right. And it's like, it's frequency. Like, the frequency in both of those examples that I delivered is I'm excited and I love when you do this as opposed to you are not enough. Right. So it's the frequency that we delivered in. And that's what, you know. I personally believe that seduction, unless you're like, in partnership and it is fully consensual, is manipulation. I shouldn't need to seduce you. Right. My essence should magnetize you. And generally speaking, if I trust, love and revere, respect the masculine. I want to make him feel good and I want to invite him in. Same with my best friend. I'm not going to be like, babe, you need to do better. I'm gonna be like, hey, like, it's people skills, ultimately. It's like, let's like, give positive feedback and support people to love us better because. Am I expecting everyone to read my mind? No. And this is what so many women with the fucking lists are doing is they're looking for this perfect thing. And then they're like, nope, you didn't. It's like, hello, I'm not perfect. I'm not going to know how to love so and so perfectly. I'm going to need guidance. I'm going to need to learn. There's expansion in that. And it's like, also humbling ourselves that we're not perfect and that this man will never be perfect. Right. But there's so much of this, like, false sense of worth, of, like, I'm worthy of so much more. I'm worthy of a man who just knows to take me to dinner. Like, the, like, way, basic approach. He just. I'm worthy of a man who wants to buy me a Birkin. Like, literally. Ew. Like, that is you trying to prove your worth through demanding what a man should rightfully offer you. Yeah.

And I feel so many women, they get lost in this whole, like, provider man thing that it's like, ultimately what we want is love, right? Like, I would any day take true love with someone who's making less money than me, but I see his potential. And I. And not like, Potential in the like dulu way. But like I know he's on a path and our love is there, which I know will be his and our greatest activator and our whatever we create dharmically as well than someone that has, you know, a private jet and D. There's no real connection there. But I feel a lot of women have felt like I followed my heart and it got broken. So I'm just going to focus on getting money.

I'm going to go for the provision. But that's, that's such a distortion because provision is for me. How held I feel in your frame. The provision, the greatest provision as a business owner, you know, is to actually just be able to relax into a man and feel safe at a certain level. Yeah. If you want someone to make more money than you. If I want someone to make more money than me, I might be sacrificing other things. I'm not attached to the number that rolls into your bank account. I'm attached to what kind of frame you hold, what level of self respect you have and how much I can open and blossom in my love force and my erotic artistry through the presence of your frame. That is provision. Right. Provision is also the emotional space that gets held. And it doesn't mean that every man is going to cuddle you like your girlfriends do or you know, needs to hold every emotion, especially if you're weaponizing them. Right. This gets really nuanced as to how we're wielding our emotions. But like this kind of care and guidance and support and frame, like I just want there to be frame. If we get focused on numbers. I'm sorry, like it's giving basic. Like you're trying to get something. You think money's going to make you happy. Enjoy that journey. Right. Love. But this is the thing is like the women who are tuned for devotion can't even play that game because we're holding out for this mystical love, this love that's like I could die looking in your eyes, complete solely because our eyes have met. It's like I am serving the world simply by cuddling with you this morning. Like knowing that this love is like this like world's colliding, like universe is blossoming and blooming just by coming into connection with this. And I bet you felt it before. Most women who are tuned for devotion, most women have felt it before and then we try to create it in all of these other connections or we lose faith in it because it didn't work out. And then we go for this lower Octave security, the security that you're looking for, again, can only be sourced in yourself and the divine. And you can feel the yumminess of security melting into a man's frame just like, oh, I am held and I am simply protected through the armor of your love and the love force created between the two of us.

So beautiful. And I do feel and have experienced that. Definitely when you've had that level of love and it doesn't work, you're like, well, let me just go for what's safe, what's known, what's secure. But then it's lying to yourself and you can't. It's like realizing you're a lion and trying to go back, back into a cage. And you know, as long as you're tuning into your heart, the love just keeps getting better, you know, it only keeps expanding because you grow with each heartbreak. Your capacity to feel like going into those tendrils of the pain and the anguish. And, you know, the times that I'm like crying on my floor because of heartbreak, I'm like, this is such a universal experience. I'm like, every person, but especially as a woman have been on that floor and I'm like, damn, like, being a human, it's like, it's so alive, you know, And I feel like heartbreak really is oftentimes that, like, it's that floor that sets the foundation for being like, oh, no, this really is going to be the deepest devotional love possible. Now my question for people listening who maybe are in relationships, that maybe they had a deep devotional love and it's gotten lost in the resentments, lost in that he's not showing up for me and he's not. Not listening to me and asking about my day or taking care of the kids. How do we re exalt him in our consciousness when we feel that resentment.

Looking at what he is doing? So, fun fact. I used to be a school teacher, a special ed teacher. And if I'm looking at a student through the lens of everything that they're not doing, I can't see their magic in their. Their specialness. Right? It was a special ed teacher. I can't see the unique template of their soul that wants to be expanded so I can creatively learn how to invite them into that. So obviously we don't want to be like teaching our partners. That's not what we're doing here. Right. That would be a form of mothering. But it's like, are you looking at what they are doing? Because what they are doing. Well, what is amazing about their soul because whatever colored glasses you are wearing is the lens that you will see the world through. So if you. And trust me, I've been in portals of this in relationship where I'm like, you are being a selfish little right now. And in that, all I can see is their selfishness. Right? They leave a dish in the sink. I'm like, oh, they expect me to do it, right? They, like, don't hold the door open for me. I'm like, they just aren't even thinking about me as opposed to if I were to just change that colored glasses. Then all of a sudden it's like, oh, they leave a dish in the sink. They're gonna do it later. They didn't hold the door open for me, like, oh, I'm tracking that. They're actually really busy and rushing to get onto a call. Or maybe they did hold the door open for me and I couldn't even see it. Right. It's like you have to choose to see the best in him while seeing the truth in who he is. Right. It's like you have to simultaneously hold the man that he. He has the potential to be and the man that he is and love them both equally and, like, celebrate, speak life into him. If you're. Even if you're silent, you're not saying a word, but you're, like, looking at him and giving him, you know, like just tracking him in a way your energy body is holding. I don't believe in you. I don't respect you. I don't have faith in you. I'm disappointed in you. He's going to feel that and he's going to show up accordingly. I always wonder, like, is anyone else even real? Or is everyone just a hologram of my own belief systems? At least the other people are real, but their behavior, is it actually happening the way that I'm perceiving it, or is it just a hologram based on what I believe?

I mean, the things are happening, but we're. We're attuned. Like, we could be in the relationship with the exact same person and have completely different experiences based on our own wounding in triggers.

Exactly. And so it's the timeline. You can timeline to a jump. And now I say this with a lot of nuance, because if in your partnership, you are being mistreated, you are being abused, you are like, there are actual wrongdoings occurring. Like, this type of lens does not work. And so I just really need to give this disclaimer because if you are being mistreated, this or better, baby girl, like, you can leave, like, you do not need to stay in something where, like, there is harm being done against you in any way, shape or form simply because you are a devotional woman. Actually, I would invite you to bring your devotion back to yourself. But let's say that this is a normal man who's doing his best and who's flawed and human, just like I'm flawed and human. And you've gotten in this cycle of like, oh, well, you never change the diaper, you never wash it. You know, these, these cycles of resentment. You can timeline jump simply by choosing to believe in him, him, by speaking life into him. When you do see something that he does, that's great, even if it's just his smile or his laugh. I love it when you laugh like, oh, thank you so much for emptying the dishwasher earlier. That made me feel super supported. And now I feel like I can just relax and be joyous and be right. It's like also transmitting in your praise how you feel. We have a different capacity as women to be able to feel. We have a more expansive, like, feeling body. And the masculine loves to feel, right? So in that earlier example of like, ooh, with dinner, I was articulating with my body, with my essence, with my voice, the feeling tone, right? It's in the praise, like letting him feel what it means to. Even if the feeling tone is like, whoa, humbled, like, hey, babe, that meant a lot to me, right? You don't have to be in this, like, little act. It can just be like the deep. And if you're struggling to feel, drop down into your womb. Your womb holds all of that feeling, all of that emotion, and feel how his action made you feel. Now you're gonna have to move through that begrudging resentment that I don't want to give my power away. But that is a distortion in and of itself to believe that by praising the man that you love, you're giving your power away. I always say to my clients and to the women in my field, we don't leave Union until we have given it our absolute all. And so I ask you, like listeners who are in this experience, have you given it your all? Is there a part of you that's withholding because of your own pain body because of your own hurt, because your own fear? And then like, my love, that's where your work is. It's a two way street, these relationships. And you have to do your utmost to meet your own contractions, your own pain body Your own limiting beliefs, all of these things. In order to see the beauty and the righteousness and the rightfulness of this man. And also if you want him to cherish you, you have to treat him with respect. They go hand in hand. A lot of women are like, oh, I just want him to do this and do this and do this. But they're like low key, emasculating and making fun of him, treating him like a bro, talking down to him, wanting him to be her like best friend, girlfriend, inventing, inventing, inventing, and then being like, why isn't he ravishing me? You're treating him like your girlfriend. Like you have to treat a man like a man and also choose to see the beauty and the rightfulness in him. And oftentimes I recommend like just sitting down with your person, taking ownership for where you have not been holding them in the rightful path in their magic. Like I've been holding resentment, I've been seeing you through this lens. This is what I can take ownership for. And I want to make some vows to you before God. Because girl, if you are tuned into magic in any way, shape or form, you are not going to make a vow that you are going to break. Like, that is not something that a devotional woman is going to take and you make vows. I vow to do my utmost to see the beauty in who you be, to respect you and to treat you with respect. To open my heart to you when I want to close, to soften my edges and trust that you really do want what's best for me. This like making vows and then inviting him. Is there anything that you want on veil? Is there any way that you've been seeing me that's not supporting us like coming together in this, like depending on the caliber of your man. Like it doesn't need to be this whole like, woo, we're making rose offerings and you know, anointing each other. Like, trust me, that's my cup of tea. But that might not be my man's cup of tea. And how am I also respecting and cherishing who he be and not like forcing him into some like ornate ritual. Let's just bring it down.

Dream come true.

And most men that I have been with at a certain caliber of the first couple times just doing it base level, like, okay, here are my vows, here's how I want to show it better. They then are like, oh, I can trust her. And then they begin to trust my oracle more and more and more. Then they're like, yeah, take me on the full Devotional, you know, ritual experience. Nine yards, right? I've yet to have a partner that isn't making rose offerings with me and wanting to be in that level of devotion and erotic devotion. But off the bat, I'm not like, here, let's heal our relationship by doing this seven step spiritual, you know, process that I saw in a podcast once.

You know, Yeah, I think it's, it's step by step and, you know, and I feel most men like that. That's what alerts them to spiritual women. They want that magic, they want that mystery. They're so starved for it. You know, sometimes I just feel so sad for men. I'm like, it is so hard to be a man. Especially today. I'm like, it's a warfield out there, you know, it's so cutthroat. And we have each other, like, and the feminine space, especially for us. It's like we're in our realm here. You know, we're like in the mysteries and we're like talking, we're having these conversations and like, this is what we do. And I'm like, in so many men are like forced to do things they really don't want to do every single day. And I find like, before I was like, oh, I'm like too spiritual for all these guys. And now I'm like, oh, no. It's like my spirituality is what like, draws them in, you know, because they're like, I want, like, I, you know, but here's the double edged sword. They're like, I want to live my life the way that you are. I'm so inspired by it. But then I take on the oracle role, the spiritual teacher role, the healer role. And I do feel, and I'm curious your thoughts on this. Like, everyone says, don't be his healer, don't be his teacher, because, right, it's. You can turn to the mother. But I've found, like, it's so much of who I am. It's like all I talk about, it's what I do. How can I not share with like, the person that I love the most, the thing I am the most passionate about, or if I'm seeing that he's in pain and I devote my life to these studies and mysteries. How can I not just like, bite my tongue and be like, oh, damn, that sucks, you know, and not share something that, that I know, like a breath, work, practice or whatever else. However, what I've had to take responsibility for is why do I find men that there's such a leap between where we're at that they don't have a morning practice whatsoever, you know, and so I've had to learn for myself of, like, my oracle is so strong. Do I really want to spend it on someone who likes, like, is in, like, chronic migraines and stares at screens all day and, like, that's where we're going to be working, or like, someone who's already brought themselves to a higher level, that I will always be in some way healing and teaching and, you know, inspiring and musing and that's what the feminine does. But a man who can take my oracle to the next level, that the words I pour into him are like, expanded tenfold rather than. Sometimes in these relationships, it almost feels like it's going into the same. This abyss that I'm like, try Joe Dispenza. He didn't try it. Try this breathwork thing. Doesn't try it. Try taking vitamins. I can order you the vitamins. I'll have the vitamins shipped to your house, you know, and it's just like. And now I don't even feel good offering this. I'm like, yo, anyone can be your health coach. But, like, the level of oracle I'm pouring in is like, for a very special soul.

I'm actually. It's funny you bring this up because I'm teaching about this right now in my membership. This, like, energetic of oracle and king, because they are like a traditional hair. Now think about it. If an oracle was walking down the street in like, the olden days, right? And she's like, stopping people and she's like, you will die on August and you will marry the man with the blue eyes and the like. That would be over oracling. That would be absurd. And that would also be penetrative. The oracle traditionally held and contained her energy deeply. And she gave her truth when she was called upon for counsel. And so, yeah, to a certain degree, it is our job as women to bite our tongue and to let him ask us. A true king, a man of honor and integrity, will absolutely lean into his woman and ask her for her advice, her guidance, her sight. He might not take it verbatim. It also wouldn't be so attractive if he was like, oh, I'm to do everything that Sahar says, right?

I think it would be so beautiful if he, like, asked me for. I would love that.

But are you making the space for him to do so, or are you automatically coming in?

Well, it's almost like the. Those men didn't even know that that existed, right? Right. They weren't at that king level to even understand.

Okay, okay, so. But every man has that within him. And it's actually you. Like, let's use the example morning practice. Practice like you sitting back, waking up early, having your practice, him feeling your essence, and him just observing and being like, can I do that with you one day? Or like, what? How are you so happy today? And you're like, I had a really good morning practice. And he's like, tell me about that. And you're like, ah. Rather than the part of us that's trying to prove how amazing we are, how evolved we are, how spiritual we are, like, like the part of us that's either in any form of performative nature when we're describing it, because we know the potency of our morning practice. Now, generally speaking, I want a man who has a morning practice. And also, it might not look like mine. His morning practice might be sitting outside getting sunlight with his cup of coffee, but it's a moment where he's tuning in with him. That's okay. We have to drop our image of wanting the spiritual best friend in the mass. I personally believe in just trusting his journey, but also when it comes to the Oracling, like, I'm gonna sit back and make space for you to lead and sometimes I'll do a oh, I'm having a feeling about this contemplation that you're bringing me about. Work may I offer? And then he can tune in and be like, yeah, you may. As opposed to me just being like, babe, if you were to say this to your boss and approach it this way and do that, it would all be better. Mothering over giving, Fix, heel, saving all distorted. I know the potency of my oracle. An oracle is not going to beg the king to come and get guidance from her. She's going to sit in her seat connected to God in her ritual, in her practice. She might not even need to say anything simply by him being in the shared field. He might naturally tune in a tune. Right now, when men's lives have like all these different issues, it's like, that's kind of. I don't need you to be like Mr. Woo extraordinaire, but I need you to be open to my Woo and my eccentricism and my. You know, I always say, like, I just want to be a weird oracle, right? That's who I be. I just want to be able to sit back and be my weird oracle. I need him to be open to me. But a man who's able to Adapt to king. Rise to king. Like a mainstream man might be allure. He might have allure towards me and be like, enchanted. He's not gonna get it, you know? And this is a conversation of, like, I could settle. My mom's always like, come home, meet a nice, nice Jewish man in Chicago, right? I could find some guy who would fucking love to give me a child. And, you know, all these different things. But typically, those type of men fond me. And I'm sure you have this a lot, being a powerful woman who's also deeply feminine. People do fond to power, and people do fond to, like, you know, the man who's like, okay, yeah, I'll do all those things, or, sure, I'll do what you say. Until he gets to the point of, like we spoke about earlier being like, no, it's too much for me, right? I don't want someone who fonds to my power. I want someone who sees me. Sees me as a valuable resource in his life and in his corner and knows how to, like, seek counsel in the feminine. Truly masculine man understands the power of a woman.

Yeah. I so deeply resonate with everything that you shared. And it, you know, it's shown me, like. And throughout this journey of, like, I feel we. It's what we do. We see so much and we want to help in the best way that we can. But learning that. That everyone has to learn their lessons on their own. You know, it's like if someone came and was like, you're gonna be born this day, die that day. Like that. Like, you know, actually in India, there's these naughty leaves that tell you all of this. I'm, like, dying, and then I know I'm gonna marry, you know, get this on the road. But, you know, but it's that. It's like in coaching, right? This is your blind spot. And d. It's like I have to ask you questions for you to realize it yourself. But I feel it's this feminine control thing of, like, if I don't get you there, you won't get there on your own. So, like, let me make you into the man I want you to be.

Which is mistrust. Right? Our job as a lover is to trust our man and trust the rightfulness of his path if you can't trust and respect him. Okay? And this. This came from another one of my teachers. Her name is Christina Louise Solar Feminine Arts. She had said this thing to me once, and she said, kelsey, if nothing about this man were to change nothing, he would always have these distortions. Always have this operating system. Would you choose him and be able to love him? Because you cannot try to change a man that is not in respect, that is not rightful. You cannot try to change a man. You can only choose him if you would accept him exactly who he is right now, perfectly imperfect. I was like, damn, I don't know if I could choose him wanting an open relationship or want, you know, whatever these various things are. Like, I actually would be not in integrity to myself to choose him. And I can feel the part of me that wants to be loved that would. But any part of us that is trying to change a man, even if it's cure his migraines, you are not trusting the rightfulness of this initiation of him awakening to his own physical body pain and being taken on that beautiful, powerful journey. You're trying to jump him seven steps. Thus you're not choosing him.

And then they don't build the pathway there and they can't sustain it.

Exactly. And then actually, are we in disservice to the masculine by trying to get him there before it's rightful? And am I in, like, disrespect to God and this ineffable force of magic and creation by trying to like, timeline jump him before he's ready? No. I'm responsible for me, my energy, my behavior. So if I do want to see growth and expansion in a man, I have to be able to fully choose him for exactly who he is on that day, as though nothing were to change. And then maybe, maybe something would grow, maybe something would evolve, But I can't be doing it for that outcome, Right? It can't be a doing to get. It's like, I just get to choose and love this man and mind my energy and how I'm holding him, either in a prison of the confines of my own projections and perceptions of him, or believing in his kingship, believing in his rightfulness, believing in like, no, he's going to figure out those people. Migraines, right? And like, ah, baby, I know some good tools for that. When you're ready, you can seek out my support.

I love that so much. And you know, we on our own learn so much in our journey and trusting that someone will be on their own journey and learning those things. And even in partnership, you know, I know so many women were like, we're so good at the healing and the fixing and this and the that. But then it just sets us up in a dynamic that doesn't feel good for, for either of us. So, wow, thank you so much. For sharing these beautiful codes. It really was a vortex we entered into. So where can listeners connect with you, follow you and learn from you further?

Yeah, so you guys can find me on Instagram at kelstaxerian. You'll see it tagged in this little podcast experience. And I have a membership that is monthly that you can come into where I transmit on a different theme every month. You can come in at any time. We have four transmissions a month and we have two live teachers, we have a guest teacher and then you have a Q and A with me. It is so fun and so juicy and so special. You can also come into my one on one field. All of this is on my Instagram. Once a year I run Union Template which we just started, which is a six month long mystery school where I tell that really juicy mythos like we got into a little bit today through the story of union and actually what it is to attune to the spiritual alchemy of union. And then I also run devotional love once a year which is that like relationship dojo of how to show up in devotion and meet our own devotional wounds. I would love to connect with you guys on Instagram if this resonated with you in any way, shape or form, reach out. Send me a dm. Let's connect. And Sahara, you are just a force. Thank you. You so so so much.

Thank you so much for being here and for sharing with us today. Wow, what a conversation that was. I know you probably had so many aha moments. I feel like this really got to go into deeper nuances that I know I sit with in my own contemplations and have with friends that I really rarely kind of see in podcasts. You know, I feel like these are more like intimate like priestess sad conversations. So I'm so glad we got to like have it here on the podcast because I feel a lot of you who are have been on this path have kind of gone into these intricacies and it was just so beautiful to ponder. This one you'll want to re listen to a couple times because there's just like so many, you know, polarities in every perspective. So if you love this episode, share with your friends. This is a great one to just have deeper conversations based off of. Share with your partner, the person you're dating. I mean what better way of diving in than this? And. And if you loved it, please leave a review for it in the podcast store or leave a YouTube comment. Tell me your favorite takeaway from this episode and as a free gift. I will send you my womb meditation. This is a meditation that you can do to connect to the seat of your divine feminine and really ask her your questions because our bodies know. So leave a review, tell me what you loved, take a screenshot and email it over to me@saharaiam sahararrose.com and I will send you that womb meditation. You can find that email and all of the links mentioned today on the show. Not notes. Please be sure to subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening to it. We've got video on Spotify, video on YouTube. It's also on Apple Podcasts. Follow me over on Instagram. I am Sahara Rose and I'm so grateful to be here with you on this journey. All right, I'll see you in the next one.

Trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom. Trust your inner guidance.

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So trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom. Trust you in the guidance.