10 First Steps to Personal Decolonization

Hello again, you absolutely amazing person, you. We are finishing off the week strong. Yesterday I Talked about the 12 principles to help people overcome and decolonize, overcoming oppression and decolonizing their practices. And as I went through those 12 principles, you could tell they were very empowering. It was about changing our beliefs and, and not putting our value in the hands of other people. That's all well and good, and it's easy to say, but I run into a lot of people that think, but where do I start? What do I do next? Well, today I'm talk. Today. What was that? Today I'm talking about the next steps. 10 next steps you can take to start decolonizing your life and trying finally fully embracing the beautiful, amazing, confident person you're meant to be. So let's talk about it. Hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. And as I mentioned in the opening, we are talking, talking about the next steps that are on this handy dandy handout that people can access through my membership program on my website. Check it out. There's so much good stuff there. The PDFs and handouts is only one small part of all that awesomeness. Now, yesterday, when at the beginning of doing the 12 principles, there was a quote at the top that said, reminded us that it's easier to remain oppressed than it is to overcome it. That's why we must do it on the next step side. The quote at the top says, because the answer is always on your side of the feather, it starts with you. And of course, that was one of the 12 principles. Remembering that your power is always on your side of the feather. If you focus all your time and energy on what other people are doing, you're getting nowhere because you have zero power over them. You start speaking differently, you start acting differently, you start researching, you start hanging around with different people, things will change for you. And then those other people will change their opinion of you. And if they don't stop hanging around with them, their path is not your path. So let's look. There's 10, 10 next steps. So the first one, decide something you want to achieve and determine the steps you take, you need to take to make it happen. So it's reverse engineering. I want to become a doctor. Okay. What would I have to do to do that? Well, I have to go to medical school. I have to find the funding for medical school. And before medical school, I have to do this. And I have to graduate high school and I guess I'm going to have to get good marks in science class. You see what I mean? You figure out the steps. Daring to achieve breaks the chains of oppression. They told us we would never succeed, so each time we do, it helps to build our esteem and confidence. You have heard me talk about Ed Mylett a hundred times. I watch his videos all the time. And he firmly believes, and now I do too. That if you keep your promises to yourself, it helps build your confidence. So if you say in the morning that you're going to get in 10,000 steps today and you don't, then you've let yourself down and it's another hit to your confidence. But if you say to yourself, you know what? I'm going to do 4,000 steps today, come heck or high water, and you do it, you feel great. So don't set yourself up to fail, but don't let yourself off easy. If you've done 4,000 today, make sure you do 4,000 tomorrow, maybe 4,500. What is the plan? Where? And by the way, why are you doing that? What do you want to achieve? You want to get healthier? You want to fit into your old clothes? Whatever it is, what are the steps you need to know, where you want to land, what are the steps to get there? Okay, next. I alluded to this yesterday. Correct yourself Talk. Replace negative comments with positive suggestions for change. So you google how to be successful, the first thing on any list you're gonna find is positive self talk. So my voice in my head, I'm a 10 year domestic abuse survivor. Trust me, the voice in my head used to say some pretty horrific things to me. But for example, I would make a mistake, a typo in an email, I would spend a world, spell a word wrong and the voice in my head would say, oh my God, Sandy, you're so stupid. Look how you spelled that. That is horrible. No one should talk to you like that. No one should talk to me like that, including me. Now, for one, that rarely happens because I've been doing this so long. Two, on the off chance that it does, I instantly go, no, I'm not stupid. I was rushing. No, I'm not stupid. I need to take a break. No, I'm not stupid. I'm tired. I've been working for eight hours. It's time to call it a day. Do you see the difference? Correct the self talk. Now, from a traditional perspective, the elders will tell you that if your spirit hears something negative, you have to counteract it immediately with something positive or else that stays to hurt your spirit. You are totally in control of this. I don't care what anyone else has said to you, they were wrong. Remember, your value was gifted to you on the day you were born. You gotta change the self talk, and now you know how to do it. Next, start reciting a daily affirmation that reinforces how valuable you are. Along the same lines, what your spirit hears, it believes. Hearing something positive offsets the negative things you might hear. So a positive affirmation. I am a strong, beautiful woman on a learning journey and I look forward to everything Creator shows me today. You are strong, you are beautiful, you are on a journey. Why would you not want to say something like that? Forget the insults, leave that to the idiots. You got to be your biggest fan. So find an affirmation that resonates with you. I'm always looking at quotes. I could give you 5 million examples. Next one. This one is going to be so hard for so many and is so important. And I'm thinking of indigenous people in their communities right now. The fourth one is believe in the future of your community. To give up on your community is to do exactly what the colonizers and oppressors want you to do. Hope is essential for success. So if you catch yourself saying, why bother? Why even try? It's never going to change. Those are absolute indicators of internalized oppression. You can't give up you. Because if you give up, then you're the next generation or your family is the one that's going to pay the price. We don't have the luxury of giving up. The generations that come next depend on us and the generations before survived so that we would do our part. You gotta believe it's going to get better. And then you got to do what you can to make it happen. That's how it works. It's not every single one of us doing our part. Every single one of us are an essential puzzle piece. We got to do the work. Next, number 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Ask. Do not judge. When you don't understand a decision, ask questions. Do not judge. Instead, try to understand. I don't know how many times I know I've done it in my younger years and I met so many people that do it. Someone makes a decision and suddenly everyone's gossiping about, oh, they did it for this. They wanted the money. They think they're better. Na na na na na. No one bothered to ask. And if you did ask, you would find out information you did not have. That totally changes your understanding of why they did it. If you don't ask, it's all the judgment. And judgment burns bridges. Right? We gotta move away from that. The next one is just that. Do not judge. You are not better than any other. Therefore you cannot look down on another. Choose compassion over judgment. Choose to help. Choose to build yourself up, not cut them down. Like they say, there's two ways to feel better about yourself. Build yourself up or cut them down. We got to quit the cutting them down. Like I said earlier in the week, if I were to wave a magic wand and Canada would start treating indigenous people like we treat each other, would it be better? The answer is no. We are. No one judges an indigenous person more than another indigenous person. Watch some of the comments that show up on my channel temporarily until I delete them. And yes, I delete those comments. Save space. I'm not here to be attacked. I'm here to help. Ta da. Next. Do just what I just did. Speak up. Make a suggestion. If they do not go along with it, that's okay. The important part is that you used your voice. You gotta quit putting your value or what you think of yourself and basing it on the end result. I share my truth with someone. They don't have to believe it, but I can be proud of the fact I shared my truth as long as I did it. Assertive, not aggressive. Wasn't disrespectful. I mean, feel free. I'm definitely going to come down on myself if I'm not doing it in a good and healthy way. Unhealthy things do not create healthy results. But just because someone else doesn't agree with you doesn't make you wrong. Use if they don't agree with you. If someone doesn't agree with me, I'm definitely going to consider their answer and see if I'm missing something. But it doesn't mean I'm wrong. It might just mean we have two different perspectives. That's okay. Learn something new. Level up. Learn a new skill, a new language, a new process, a new song, a new recipe, something. And then learn something else. Want to build your confidence? Keep learning. Keep learning. Keep learning. Not to lord it over other people. Not to be arrogant. To build your confidence. Confidence is not about looking down on other people. Remember that number nine. Teach others how to treat you. This is directly from my mom. If you want them to respect you, they have to see you respecting you. Show them how. If you want them to be kind to you, be kind to you. Show them how. And if you want other people to respect your boundaries, you better be respecting your boundaries because you are teaching them how to treat you. If they hear you insulting yourself all the time, don't be surprised if they insult you. And if you insist on putting yourself last, don't complain when others do. Teach them how to treat you. Last but not least, teach others you have value. Show others you have value by treating yourself as a person of value. It's amazing in that I know some people might find it intimidating, then it starts with you. But it's exciting that it starts with you because that is totally within your control. So there you have it. The 10 steps to start decolonizing your life and building your confidence and wisdom once again. All of these amazing handouts that I mentioned are contained in my membership on my website. Check it out. There's so much goodness in there and it's all learn at your own pace. So which in my mind is just empowering. I hope you have a super duper double delicious weekend and I'll see you on Monday. I love you. Take care. Bye Bye.