Sandi L Boucher shares three rules from conflict resolution training she led for Ashkee Pamashewin workers: move toward conflict instead of avoiding it, ask questions and assume you know nothing, and stay quiet to let people talk. She illustrates with a sales story about the power of listening.
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It is a crazy kind of Sunday when I'm shooting this. There's a windstorm going on outside. We're in the middle of moving computers and Macs around. It's just nuts. But I did want to shoot this video, even though it might be a shorter one, because one of the things I absolutely love about my career is every now and then I'm called on to MC an event, which means I get to sit in on the most amazing training. And as I mentioned in my post last week, if you follow me on Facebook or on LinkedIn, you knew that I was emceeing the on call worker training for Ashkee Pamashewin when Ashkee Windjack, I should say name change. And Nishnaabi ASCI Nation. So this is them training the people that look after the students that have to come here to go to school. So these students are staying with boarding parents. They may or may not be familiar with the city. They're far away from home turf. So these are the workers that drive around and make sure the kids are okay. These people are amazing. And the training is so important. One of the things I took part in last week was conflict resolution training. I want to share a link to a video with you and I want to share with you the three simple rules to resolve conflict. I'm not forgetting these. I don't think you're going to either. Let's talk about it. Foreign. Hi, everybody. My name is Andy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. And as I said, I got to sit in on a conflict resolution session. And in that session, the video was shared. The links in the notes under this video and, and it highlighted so many things about conflict resolution. And watch the video. This guy's like talking like war and peace type conflict resolution. Like we're talking some serious stuff here. And he highlighted the three simple rules to resolve conflict. I'm using these. It definitely fits in with other things I've said before, but this just solidifies it. So what's the first one? The first one's the one that's going to freak everyone out. Move towards the conflict, don't hide from it. Someone's upset, go up to them, acknowledge they're upset. The quote is, think of conflict as information and opportunity. Let's talk about it. What are you feeling? Right, like you're not. You're. That brings. You gotta do these all three at the same time because that's all well and good, but if you forget two and three, you're gonna get yourself in trouble. So move towards the conflict. Don't hide from it is step number one. Step number two is so in line with the humility teaching. You don't know anything. Ask questions, don't assume. The better you listen, the better they will listen. In fact, the quote was, you don't know anything. And if you do, pretend you don't, you no room for ego. This is totally humility teaching. So move towards the conflict. You don't know anything. But last but not least, and I know this from sales training, is stay quiet. Don't be jumpy about awkward silences. Don't rush to rescue them. Take the long way. No quick fixes, Let them talk. I know way back when I was in direct sales, I'm talking as a teenager here and they always said when you make the offer about the product, yes, sit silent. Because the rule was the next person who talks leaves with the products. If it's the customer, then they're the ones that are going to be buying. But if you get nervous as a salesperson and jump in there, you just gave them an out, you talk them out of the sale and you're leaving with the products, no revenue. So think about conflicts going on in your community, in your home, in your office, place. Whatever it is, go towards the conflict. Remember, you know nothing, right? And if you do, pretend you don't ask questions and let the the person sit in the silence with them. Help them to work it out. I'm definitely going to be using this and I'm dying to know what you think of it. So I have to go back ranging offices here. I just wanted to jump on here quick, try out this new webcam. I'm not sure on the lighting quality, but we'll see. And I will talk to you tomorrow. I love you. Take care. Bye bye.
