Sandi L. Boucher shares her mother's teaching: don't be a leaf in the wind. She explains the difference between reacting to everything around you and choosing your own response, and why that choice matters for your wellbeing.
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Hello, you absolutely amazing member you. Welcome to yet another member only video. And honestly, these are the video. This is going to sound bad. I put time into all of my videos. But the topics of the member only videos are the ones that I think about the most that I want to make sure that I am giving you quality. Whether it's additional information on something I touched on in a public video or, or whatever, it's going to be extra. It's got to be special because you're special and you support my work and I super duper appreciate that. So today what I have to share with you is actually another one of my mom's teachings. A saying that she used to use all the time that I now use all the time to make sure that I stay on the path I need to be on. And I wanted to share that with you. So welcome to the members only video. Hi everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River first nation in Treaty 3 territory in Northern Ontario. And I had the honor and privilege, have the honor and the privilege of being the daughter of an amazing Anishina be from Kuching First Nation also in Treaty three. Now if you've watched any of my videos and you're a member, so I'm going to assume you have, you know that my mom was incredibly wise. One of the things I get a kick out of though, I've met so many people that think non indigenous people who think that these teachings that we talk about all the time that, you know, we were sitting around a sacred fire or we were in a sweat lodge when we received these teachings and you know, you almost heard the angels choir sing. I received most of my teachings standing next to my mom at the kitchen counter while I dried the dishes and she was washing them. That's when we talked, that's when she shared. And I have so many amazing memories of that. So what was her saying? What did I have to eat something? Sorry. Trying to do some. I have actually my first ever southern vacation coming up soon. So I'm trying to shoot all of these videos to get ready for it so that you have videos while I'm gone. And it's a hectic schedule, so I apologize. It's. It's a lot. But that is not your problem. I am here to share with you and what my mom used to always say when I came home and I was upset because a friend was upset or I was upset for a variety of reasons because of what someone Else did. Her response was always, so you're going to be a leaf in the wind. You're just going to get blown around by what someone else does or says. That's they're in control of your life now. So I sat down and wrote a bunch of examples that I see almost every day of people being really good. Leaves in the wind being blown around. The one. I live in Northern Ontario, it is January. Enough said. Go on Facebook any single morning and watch how many people are peeved up because of the weather or in the summertime when it rains. That is a classic leaf in the wind. Like, do you have any control over the weather? My mom was an advocate of the mindset. Fix it or shut up. You know, count your blessings. If you're. You find that hard, count them twice. So she really didn't understand, like, why would you bet your happiness and your positive attitude on something you don't control? Something external to you, like the weather. It made zero sense to her. And I laugh every time I see people doing it. When another person does something, they got in a fight with someone or they say something stupid or they don't do what they were supposed to do. Again, why is that upsetting you? You control. You figure out how you're going to react to it and do it. Fix it or shut up. Like I said, indigenous, they raise us strong. They don't raise ladies, they raise warriors, men and women. So all identities, so orientations, whatever the case may be. You know what I mean? I don't want to get into that debate, but it's like, don't let other people just because someone else is struggling. Like, I know people that are depressed because everyone else is having a rough life. They are having the rough life. They have the right to be down on their reality. Are you going from the sympathy vote like there's nothing going on in your world for you? That's a choice that makes no sense. And I'm all about honoring the hard times. Grieving, grieving. It took me 18 months to get past my mom's passing, and I own that. And I had people upset with me that I didn't move on. I honored what I knew I needed to do. So now I can talk about my mom all the time and it doesn't upset why I took the time to heal. Way more people have to do that. Bottom line, don't be the leaf in the wind. Don't put other people in control of your life. You decide what you're doing today. You decide your mood. You decide what time you're going to bed. Don't whine. Stop what I was going to say don't whine at other people because you're exhausted. If you chose to go to bed at 2am, that was your choice. They don't have to pay for your bad decisions, right? If you totally ignored your friend for the last six months and now they don't want to hang around with you anymore, don't be blaming the friend. All of your power is on your side of the feather. You control what you do, not them. But quit blaming them for what you're doing. So at the end of the day, you know what? This is a nice, short and sweet video. You do. You boo. You do. You. You know what you need? You. You have that healthy breakfast. You. You get in that exercise. You honor. You. You teach other people how to treat you. I meet way too many people that are complaining that someone in their life always puts them last. And yet that's exactly what they do to themselves. They put everyone else before them. Then they wonder why other people do. You taught them that. I can tell your level of self confidence by how well you take care of yourself. Because self care is self love. And if you're treating yourself like you have zero value, don't be surprised when other people start doing it because you taught them to. And if you suffer from low self confidence, it's probably because you got the recipe backwards. You're looking at their reactions first. It's your reaction that has to come first. So can we get this right now? I believe in you. I'm setting that bar high. You got this. No more leaf in the wind. You go enjoy that day because you deserve to join that day. I love you. Take care. Bye bye.
