Action = EMPOWERMENT!! (The NEW PATH Podcast - Episode 3)

And we are recording. I don't know about you, Millie, but this is just not getting old. Maybe it will when we've done 700 episodes.

Considering this is episode two, I think we're a ways away yet from calling it old. Three. Is it three? Okay. There you go. Still not many.

Yes.

Little. Little bitty number of episodes.

Just a couple.

But.

Oh, I don't know. I just think it's such a beautiful combination. From my perspective, anyways. Of valuable content, because I believe it is, but not a lot of stress or strain on us to prepare for because we're talking about the stuff we know.

Yes. Yes. And that's what I love about doing this, because this is the kind of thing that you and I can both talk about all day, every day and do to some extent.

Exact.

So. Right. And just being able to share what we do and how we think and how we work with people in a way that is calm and relaxed and fun is. That's a gift. I love it.

Yeah. I love it. And you know what? That's just a bonus piece of content for this episode because this was not part of the theme. But I think that's so important to have someone you can have these conversations with, with the. This was amazing. Someone who's going to cheer on your successes and not minimize them and who's going to understand when that hit the fan, it wasn't fun.

Yep.

Scary. Af. Right. And that. And. And doesn't want to minimize that or say, oh, it'll get better either. Right. That you got to honor your head over it.

Yeah, exactly.

Oh, if someone said that.

If I really want to tick you.

Off one of these things, it's like my nails literally got longer.

Okay.

To the viewers watching. Yes. It's just me and Millie hanging out again. Welcome to the New Path podcast, which is all about empowering women, because been there, done that. Like, I think we both identified. We've had our challenging times, our times when we probably would have referred to ourselves with a whole bunch of other words. Not empowered. But now we can look back, we can share what worked. We can make suggestions, we can make recommendations, and we can just have a whole lot of fun doing it. So my name is Andy Boucher Mishko Poganong Kwei N. Addition of Kasman. No damage. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. And I have this simple assignment or mission of bringing a country together. I'm all about Canadian reconciliation for Getting indigenous and non indigenous first, just to talk and to have conversations in safe spaces that allow you to say, I don't understand. And could you explain that to me without anyone being intact? So that's what I do when I'm not hanging out with my friend Millie. So, Millie, over to you to explain.

Well, I will follow up that most impressive and important introduction as to who you are and what you do by saying, hi, I'm Millie Gormley. I am a middle aged white chick from Thunder Bay. My project in this life is to help women get their financial lives together so that they can go out and fulfill their mission while being calm and comfortable and confident that the financial piece is being taken care of. I'm a musician, an actor, a cook. I appreciate a nice glass of wine at the end of the day with my husband and my cat, not necessarily in that order. And I am most happy to be back here having a chat with Sandy. We are the grizzled veterans of the gender wars. We have wisdom.

We are, we are. And you know what, listening to your intro. So full disclosure, if you haven't seen other episodes, Millie is my financial advisor. So this is like directly on point for the two of us. But I just got back from London, Ontario, where I went to do an event. I literally got home at midnight last night. So if I seem a little airheadish, yeah, I'm here, honest. But I used to. I can think of so many business trips that I went on and I you're gonna go on the trip because you're earning money. You have to do that. But there were times where I might have had a hundred dollars in my bank account in my early days, thinking, please don't let me miss a flight. Please let the hotel be okay. Because if anything happens, zero margin for error. Right? Right. And I noticed this trip when I was planning that that's something we can talk on in a future episode. Be careful. The. The habits or mindsets that you get into.

Yes.

Because as I was preparing for this trip, it was almost like that panic bone wanted to start again. And it was like, check the bank account, check the credit cards. Okay. The fact that I can say credit cards with an S. Different story. And knowing that all of them, that there was money in the bank account and the cards were clear. I'm good. And to be able to be in the airport and just don't care. Right. Like, I'm gonna make my flight. I'm not gonna waste money. I've worked too hard for it to waste it. But if something happened, I'm gonna be okay. And we touched on that last week because for people, if you're just tuning into this episode, we are talking about the new PATH acronym. So the word path, P A T, H. I really believe these are like four tools that if you use them on a regular basis, it's going to get you to that empowered stage. So last week we talked about patience, which if you haven't seen the video or the last episode, I should say, I always say last week. Foreshadowing again.

Yes, perhaps. But it was more about patience or. Yeah, it was patience or the lack thereof in some cases.

100. Which I was saying if you haven't seen the last episode, you got to go watch it because it's kind of hilarious. Billy and I talking about patience.

Oh, yeah. If anyone knows this in the real world knows it's. That's not something where neither of us are known for per se, but something.

We had to learn.

Yes.

On this. This journey. Even though I think we both identified for this lesson either of us came across and it wasn't fun. And if we could have just sheer willpower.

Oh man. Yeah, exactly. If I could have chewed through phases of my life just on sheer spite alone.

Well, I. I was thinking of your back surgeries.

And.

And let's get clear here. Not one, two, two. So taking the time. The first one. Okay. Maybe not as much time as you should have.

Exactly.

That second one. And just talk about a hard lesson. And for me, for me, it. It. What is that saying? That we believe that if you don't learn the lesson, then you're doomed.

Your body. Yes. If you. Yeah. Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. I think is the popular version of that.

My history with the word cash flow took some learning and stubborn aside. And maybe you really don't want need to buy that Sandy. And. And yeah, so.

But we. That we talked about patience. Let's talk about what's our next letter.

In the path before we jump in. I did want to acknowledge the magic of pre recording because as you can well imagine, Millie and I both have in the same schedule. So we do these when we can do these. We don't want it to be a stress in our lives. We want to be able to enjoy it as well as put out quality content. So usually we talk about your reaction to the last episode. And we had. I had promised in the last episode that we were going to talk about millions of vacation the next time you saw us.

I haven't actually gone on it yet.

Yeah. So at the time of this recording, the second episode has not been released yet. We're now shooting the third. Maybe that's why you thought two. We will do all of that stuff when we can rather than just fake it.

So having said that, yeah, we are pre recording, but we're not doing. We're not really doing a ton of editing. Like, we're not. This. This is as good as we sound, guys. Like, we don't. We haven't buffed this up and cut out all the ums and the odds because for one, we don't have the time or the patience to do that. And for another, we do want this to be a record of an actual conversation. So. So that's totally the vibe we're going for here. Yeah.

Yeah. I can acknowledge that in the very first episode, I was so excited. Like, I was talking at the same time as you so many times.

It was funny.

I was like, okay, Sandy, let's not do that just for the sake of the listeners.

But I vouch for that too. I gotta admit that that's.

You know what? That's enthusiasm. That's passion. That's who we are.

Be mindful, mindful of each other's audio space. Okay.

All right. Okay. Back to the PATH acronym as Millie said. So the P was for patience. I highly suggest you watch that episode or listen to it wherever you listen to podcasts. This one we're gonna love. The A is for action, and I think that's. That's. Millie and I. Neither of us are scared of hard work. If it takes determination or rolling up your sleeves, we don't. I don't even bother wearing sleeves anymore.

You're just trying to show off your tattoo, though.

Oh, wrong side, wrong side.

There you go.

Which is always fun at a corporate event. Just throwing that out there. So I am going to kick it over to you first, Millie. So action is our theme for today. Where did your mind go or what came to mind?

Well, yeah, for me, action is, you know, about doing the things, fulfilling the tasks, checking off the tick boxes, making the lists, all that kind of stuff. I am in a coaching situation with a company called Commit Action. So all I do every week is I have a call with my coach. We decide, what are the actions you did last week? What were the results? Are you happy with it? What do we need to change? What are the actions you need to do for this week? And it's very much a. Here's your weekly kick in the butt to give you to give you thinking to do and to make sure that you do them. So, you know, throughout the week he'll send me an email or text saying, so did you do the thing you said you were going to do? And I have to be like, yes, I did it or no, I didn't and thanks for the reminder or no, I did it, go away, I'll do it. Right. I don't like being neg, but yeah. So for me, action is something that is. I don't know if it comes natural necessarily, but it's certainly something that I feel comfortable doing after many years of. If I don't do the things, nothing will happen. And this is probably one of the main differences between you and I as self employed slash entrepreneurial type people and people whose job will send them a paycheck. My line for when I was working at the bank, not to say anything bad about the bank because it was, it was what I needed to be and where I needed to be at the time and there's some good people there. But I said the bank gave me a paycheck every two weeks whether I deserved it or not. It does not work that way when you're self employed. So, you know, the idea of taking action is very much in the forefront of my mind. Which also brings to mind this whole concept of manifestation. Right. Which to me is kind of the, is kind of the opposite of action. Because manifesting is the thinking about the thing, the action is the doing of the thing. But you do need both. And it took me a long time to realize that you do need both. That action without any kind of a direction gets you nowhere. Just as much as thinking about something without doing anything gets you nowhere.

That reminds me of Tony Robbins, the garden analogy. If you're standing in the garden and I don't want there to be any weeds, I don't want there to be any weeds.

I don't want.

That's all you do. You're leaving your garden, right?

Yeah, exactly.

It's not just manifesting what, what is that quote I heard use the law of action, not the law of attraction. Right. So. And I honestly believe, like you just said, it's action that attracts and causes the manifestation. Right. That I believe in manifestation. Huge. Just because it keeps happening in my life. But I believe in once a day. We've talked about this before. My little video, my manifestation video. So every morning I watch it, what I want to achieve. And then. And if you ever watch the Secret, the movie or read the book or.

Whatever they say, all of those. Yeah, that was the thing.

Yeah. You put in the order and then forget about it. And that's literally what I do. Like creator, this is where I want to end up. Now I have to go work because something's going to happen that's going to get me there. But if I'm just sitting around waiting for it, I'm not going anywhere.

Yes.

I have to prepare. Like, I want to be the person that is in a place to enjoy those things. For example, I just came back from my first southern vacation to Cancun. I've wanted to do that since I was 12 years old. Could I have done that earlier on in my career? Probably it would have meant giving up events, probably not paying bills and dealing with all of that horrible stress and consequences when I came back. Or I took the actions, built the business, built the foundation so that when I did go, it didn't cause any of that. So I had to become the person who could enjoy that manifestation. Does that make sense?

Yes, absolutely. I like the whole. When the secret came out and, you know, everything was about manifestation. Just manifest and believe and the universe will bring things to you. I always hugely struggled with that concept. Probably because I was raised in a very no nonsense, kind of straightforward Protestant work ethic. You know, the stones aren't going to pick themselves, those cows aren't going to milk themselves. Kind of childhood. And so the idea of. And at the same time, I was also really raised in a very Christian religious environment where we were supposed to be praying all the time. Right. Like prayer was, was the way to make things happen. And I never saw prayer as something that. Forgive me for, you know, anyone who is Christian who is going to be offended by this, but for me, I never saw that prayer worked in that sense of if I prayed for something, I would, it would, it would come to me or I would get it or whatever.

Yeah.

And some would say that's a pretty immature way of looking at faith. And perhaps it was, but I was, you know, in fact, a child at the time. So that's, you know, that's.

I think now I look at praying as manifesting, but again, I could see.

How it could be.

Yeah, yeah. But it's just part of the package. I. I guess even more I believe that what I'm doing now gets me what I have now. And if I want different or more, I have to do something different or more. Right. So it's not just asking. I am a huge. This is not surprising, Millie, in any way, shape or form. So I have Always been the person, person that is thrilled with the unknowns. Like, my life has changed so many times because I turned on the computer or opened an email and it was this amazing opportunity. So to me, that's the manifesting. But that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't built a career and had a website and, and my education 100%. That, that gift that comes, the manifesting is because you've laid that, that groundwork for it. Right.

The one thing. Yeah, go ahead, Go ahead.

No, well, I was just gonna say, and I know you're gonna jump all over this because I think we've had this conversation before the podcast existed. There is a huge difference between taking action to advance whatever you want to do and being busy.

Yes.

And I have met so many brand new entrepreneurs that have the most organized filing cabinet or the most beautiful office, and it's like, did that earn you any money? Like, that's seriously.

Right, right.

Like what the stuff you're doing, is it like the, the term they always use, is it the needle moving stuff? Like, is this gonna make a difference? When back to the fear state I was in when I first started my business and afraid of ending up living in my car every single time now that fear can be like, overwhelming and just freeze you in your tracks. And when it would hit, and I don't know where I got this, I'm assuming it's something I read or a video I saw at some point, just thank creator I saw it. But when it would get absolutely overwhelming, like, oh, my God, I am going to start to death. I am going to end up living in my car.

The panic has taken over your brain. Yeah.

So I would think, what? Do one more thing. I have to do one thing. So I would send one email to one more potential customer, or I would send out one more email to my list, or I would post one more product on my webpage, my Facebook page, or add one more product to my website and advertise it, I would do, like, reach out one more time. And every single time, someone came back with, oh, that sounds interesting. Tell me more.

Yeah, that's fascinating, isn't it?

So if I had gone and organized my files, I'd be working for someone else right now.

Well, now you have someone else working for you to organize your files for you, which is way better.

I have four staff people now. So, yeah, it's just. What the. And now I got to tell you this story just because it's true and it's funny.

Okay.

And it's so Me. So again, in those absolute states of panic, I would do that one more, whatever it was. And if that didn't take it away, I am not kidding. I would literally walk down the hallway of my apartment into the bathroom and I would flush the toilet. And people always like, why in the world would you do that?

I totally understand why you would do that.

I was raised in a house that didn't have running water. And by doing that, it reminded me I already had more than my parents ever had.

Yeah.

So quit worrying about what I don't have. Count your blessings and get back to work.

That gratitude piece is such an important part, because if you're in a place where you can't be grateful for what you have, you're not thinking clearly. Right. If we are legitimately looking around us and thinking our lives suck and things are terrible and it's never going to get better, you know, if that's the place we're in, we. We're not capable of making a good decision and doing something that is going to move that needle forward. You've got to get into a place where you can appreciate where you are. Like, get that. And as I'm saying to clients all the time, first thing we gotta do is get clear on what the situation actually is. And most of the time, it's not nearly as bad as your monkey brain is making you think it is. So just first, everybody calm down. Let's get clear and what the deal is. Let's be grateful for what we have and what we are capable of doing, and then we can move forward.

Yeah. It's not about controlling everything. It's what is in your control.

Right.

And I was gonna make a point, and I totally forgot what the point was. That's okay. Welcome. I'll come to you. I'm tired that that is gonna happen. But yeah. And. Oh, I know what it was. So you were talking about your. Your coaching and. And the checking in and having to do the things. So I use a sauna, which is like a task management system. And there are certain things I do every single morning because I think when it comes to action, you have to take action to, like, bring in revenue. You also have to take action to feed your skill set. So I am constantly learning. There are certain. Brendan Burchard and Ed Mylett are the two that I follow right now. And Ed puts out a podcast once a week. Brendan Burchard. I listen to his daily fire message every morning. And often, if. Especially if, like this morning, it's like a lower energy kind of morning listening to them. And it's so inspiring. And it's like, okay, I'm not going to have a high energy day. That doesn't mean I can't have a productive day. That doesn't mean I can't answer the most important emails in, in a, you know, concise, professional, polite way that is going to continue whatever journey is happening with that person. Because as we know, you know as well as I do, it's building a relationship. It's rarely one email. We just want to hire you. And if I, and I do get those emails, but that's because. True story. The London event, I just did and I didn't even know this. The, the woman that hired me, the director of London Health Sciences center that hired me, went up to the microphone and introduced me and shared with the audience how she had been following my blog post for five years.

Oh, my goodness.

That's why I was there. And that's that.

Okay.

Right. Like a manifesting out of the blue, I got this invite, but it wasn't.

It was years of hard work. Yep.

Right. And then. Oh, I love that you pointed that out. Action does not. Back to patience for a second.

Right.

Action does not necessarily mean instant gratification. Like, I put out five years of blog posts to get that amazing event. Now, I, I wouldn't be able to do it if it had to do five years to get every event, obviously. Well, no, but I mean, if there's one thing, that consistency, that doing things every day, that it's. People think that you have to take some big action. Well, if you think about walking across the room is the metaphor I always use. You can take one huge step and you probably hurt yourself and you're going to stop for a while and land.

Flat in your face.

Right. Or you take little baby steps every single day. You're getting across. It's tortoise in the hair. Right. You're getting across the room faster. So, yes, I'm high energy and action oriented, but there are things like writing a blog post every single day that I have done for 15 years now. I do it because I love it. I didn't do it because I want to make money off this. No. I wanted to feed the people that were following me. Right. With the inspiration.

And that's where we bring in the concept of alignment. Right. Because if you weren't aligned with writing a blog post every day, there's no way in hell you'd be able to maintain that for 15 years just on sheer will and stubbornness. Right. You've got to be finding those activities that you can do consistently with. With joy in your heart and a smile on your face. And you know what, what that is, that's when you're cooking with gas.

You know what that reminds me of? I think that was episode one where you said, we are going to share what works for us and what doesn't. And it may or may not work for you because like I, I am a writer first. I may be known for my public speaking, but I am most definitely a writer first. I've been saying for years it would be easier for me to give up breathing than it would be writing. Like, I write every single day. The only debate is whether I'm releasing it or not, right? So for other people, there are probably people that just panicked listening blog post every day. And I used to.

Actually, that's making me a little twitchy. It's like a lot of work.

I used to do seven days a week, right? Like, I live Saturday and Sunday and now it's five days a week. But I do that because I would be writing anyways. That is literally my second nature. In the same way that I release videos because I love shooting the videos. It's fun, I enjoy it. What can I think of that I wouldn't do that? Other people do cold calls.

Oh, God. Okay. But no. Okay, so I started off. I mean, my industry is famous for starting people off with cold calls. Here's the phone book. There's your potential client list. Go. And I'm sorry, but if you tell me that you love doing cold calls, I am going to self diagnose you as some kind of sociopath and really question your integrity by telling me such a blatant lie. Or your sanity if you genuinely believe it. Because cold calling is nobody's fun. It's soul crushing. Absolutely. That doesn't even count.

Well, you know what? Here's the fun thing, though. And now I'm going way out on the limb, and you may think I'm nuts, All right, but so way back when it's called Wednesday, but honestly think that all women, maybe all people at some point in their lives, should have sold Mary Kay cosmetics. I will explain why.

Please do.

I did. For years, we had a Monday night success meeting where we all got together to inspire each other and talk about new products and talk about the challenges. So kind of what you and I are doing right now, really supporting each other, really cheering each other on. And of course, you gotta find customers as well. So one of the. I will never forget this exercise, they handed us this sheet of paper, you know, your regular eight and a half by 11, and it had 50 little circles on it, like the kind you put a check mark in or whatever.

Are you gonna fill sticky box. Yeah.

So the idea, the title on the page was 50 no's. So the assignment was call like how many people and get 50 people to say no. They don't want to buy something or they don't want to see your product. You actually end up being upset if they book to see the product, which is the point. Like if you did that many calls, you're going to end up with bookings. Right. But it was impossible to do the 50 and not yet a booking, which we quickly understood. But it made it trying to get to that end. But. But it took you. It stopped you from focusing on how crappy those no's are.

Yes. Yeah. Because you got a sense of accomplishment. That's one less that I have to get through before I run into that person who's going to be the perfect fit.

Yeah. And you know what I just realized? How did this not pop into my head before? Just now we were just talking about the law of attraction and manifesting or whatever. So I've been in business for 15 years and up until my salesperson is just about to start a brand new.

Sales position, like an actual dedicated person selling you for you. That's exciting.

But for 15 years I have not done any kind of reaching out to sell. They have always called me.

Okay, this is a huge switch for you then. Yes.

So I have put put out to my list. Here's the new products I have. Let me know if you're interested. And that is as close as I got to marketing or cold calling or whatever. I have never followed up with past customers. I know that makes me a really crappy business person, which is part of what she's going to be doing. Because I've realized I. I told my brother some business as well. And when I told him that, he was like, right, yeah, it's going to work really well for you.

Right. You get kind of quizzical dog and you tilt your head and you go, huh?

How?

How is it possible that you've been in business as long and you've never followed up with previous customers?

So talk about relationship building. That they are still reaching out to me to say, what do you have going on now? Right.

Absolutely. A testament to who you are that people keep coming back without you having to do nag them. Absolutely.

100%. Right. So this novel idea of having someone follow up. And she's also going to be. So, for example, London Health Sciences center is a hospital. I obviously have things that really support that type of industry. So she will be reaching out to other hospitals.

Absolutely. Oh, my God.

That's her. I don't have time to do that. That's also back to action. Not an action I want to be taking. Right. Not my parting, not my joy. She actually loves it. Kind of like the house cleaner I used to have who really loved dusting and cleaning. And I was like, okay, good for her. Yeah. It was like she found an action.

That was aligned with her, with her purpose, her personality.

It's like she was excited to show me. She had dusted the top of the picture frames. I didn't have the heart, but.

But it's nice to. That's nice, though.

So I didn't feel guilty about hiring a cleaner because she was obviously having so much fun doing it. But it's not anything. I don't care how gorgeous my home is. That is never. That's right up there with cooking for me. Never going to be a joy. Not that. No. Never an action I'm taking. Skip the dishes. Right.

But because it's not aligned with you. You know, I think that that concept is something I've come to really have a lot more belief in necessarily than manifesting. Because just like, thinking about something and willing it into being is not the same thing as finding things you can do that are comfortable for you to do, that might not be comfortable for somebody else. There's plenty of people who admit not feel at all comfortable getting in front of a microphone or getting in front of a camera like this and having a conversation like this, 100%.

They also don't realize. And that's where you got to be careful of the barriers. And I remembered what I was going to say earlier. It was about your negative mindset comment. Like, you can make videos where your face never appears on screen. Like, I've seen videos where people are beating something. They're showing you how to beat. You see their hands, the needle and the beads. Or you could be showing diagrams or words on the screen. So that's where you got to be careful when you're so quick to say, well, I could never do that. Well, you could never do that version. But are you sure you couldn't do that? And what I was going to say when you were talking about negative mindset, what was me, this is never going to work. People don't want to give me an opportunity. Blah Blah, blah. When you have that mindset, you have blinders on, so you don't even realize that person that's sitting next to you in the restaurant who was talking about, wow, I could really wish I could find a consultant is your opportunity. But because you're in so much of your gloom and doom like now, I just laugh at myself because in the beginning I, I have to go to networking events and I have to talk about my business and tell people what I'm doing. Now I run into people and they're telling me what they're doing and it's like, holy moly's, that's the kind of work I do. Blah, blah, blah. And it just naturally happens. Right. So because you're open to, in my opinion, open to who Creator sends you. And that's to me, where the manifesting comes in. I don't know who's going to show up at the door, but I am now open to receiving how this might fit in where I want to end up. Right. In the same way, our friendship. Yeah, we were friends and like I mentioned before, with the, the earthquake of a financial situation I had going on for years, we maintain the relationship. Yeah. We maintain the friendship. And that was always. And I even had other financial planners at different times. But.

And I love you anyway didn't work.

And, and, but it was always. Okay. Now I'm in a place.

Yeah.

To take, I don't want to say take advantage of, but this opportunity is sitting there. Right. And I'm now in a place where this works.

Yes. Or makes sense, you know.

Yeah, exactly.

And maybe that's a better way to look at the whole concept of manifestation is not trying to will something into being, but as being open to what comes.

Yeah.

So.

Yeah. And, and so my. I'm going to go off on a tangent here. But that's what we do, honey. And another part of being women or empowered women, relationships, and maybe you want to have an intimate relationship in your life that, that, that person, that's your person. And my mom honestly believed, and what she used to always say is, if you're looking for that, that person that you want in your life and they're not there, that's because you're not yet the person they need. So instead of focusing on finding them, you have to focus on growing and healing and becoming who's going to be the amazing partner for that amazing person you're envisioning. And while you're doing that, they're actually off doing the same thing. And when both of you have done your work, that's when you'll find each other. That's lovely. So to me, that's the same thing with the manifesting I've seen. Seen happen in my career and my business that, yes, all of those things I wanted to happen happened, but it was because I was busy building the foundation that would allow me to enjoy those things.

Yeah, no, I do. I do believe that. And that's, I think, certainly in my own career as well. I've been doing, you know, financial services, financial planning for 18 years, and it's been a series of. Of steps and plateaus. And steps and plateaus is. God knows, it's not been a smooth, smooth curve on any levels. I've had to start over from scratch like, four times. Right. So, yeah. And I find that you. You kind of get to a point where you. You feel like you're a little bit stuck. You feel like you. You want. You want something more, but you're not sure what it is. And then you just. I think the lesson I finally learned in my advanced old age is that's the moment when it's time to kind of just sit back and look around and say, okay, what am I. What should I be trying to get from this? What is the lesson I need to learn here? Where is the opportunity? Who is the next person I should be talking to? And that's when the big shifts happen, is when you actually sit back and say, okay, I've done really well. I'm very happy with what I've done up to this point so far, and I want to move ahead, move up now it's time to sit back and observe and just be open.

You have to take action if you want to move. That requires action. Right.

You have to know what the right action is. That's the other thing, too.

Finding out what the action is.

Yes, that's true, too. Right.

Reaching out to someone, line, we think we have to do it all on our own is totally beyond me. And in fact, if you're doing it on your own, you're doing it wrong. You're just reinventing the wheel. But for me, and I tell my audiences this all the time, that responsibility is the antidote to overwhelm.

So if responsibility is the antidote to.

Overwhelm, okay, so if you're feeling totally overwhelmed and I don't know what to do, and I'm never going to get it together, it's like you said earlier, sit down and figure out what can you do? What Bill, can you get rid of what product can you sell? What person can you talk to? Do you have to cut expenses? Do you need to get a part time job? In the beginning, a lot of people hired me to be careful. How to put this. A lot of people wanted to hire me as to do something strategic planning.

Okay.

And I do strategic planning. And it's not the funnest thing I've ever done. But in the beginning, even though I wanted to do more the inspirational stuff, it paid the flipping bills. So you do those sessions. And now that I'm way more confident now I have fun doing strategic planning because I do it sandy style and people enjoy the sessions. So yeah, back then I was doing the standard cookie cutter dry, but that's what they wanted me to do and it covered the bills. So sometimes the action is I need to get that part time job or I need to do whatever to get me to that next level. This, it doesn't have to be for the rest of your life. We love to blow it up to that.

Yeah, exactly.

Right. It's just what? And one of Ed Mylett's. Well, I guess I'm not sure of how many books he has out, but his one book is called One More, Do One More. And I swear to God, I hear Ed's voice every time I'm working out because you know, I'll do my, my set of 12 and it's like, but if I do one more. Yeah, right. And now that's, in my opinion, dangerous. You got to be careful with that because one more mindset can lead to burnout and you're doing too much behavior. Right. So but if I can send one more email, that's only going to take 10 minutes. That's. Yeah, exactly.

You know, I want to quit now. Exactly. I want to quit right now. It. But I'll do one more and then I'll quit for the day.

And it's such. And we talked about this in the first episode, that entrepreneurship is the biggest problem personal growth journey that anyone could go on. And I had to stop underestimating what I could do, like stop letting myself off. I sent three email emails today. That's enough for one day. I took action. You work for a flipping half hour. Who's building a business doing that? Give me a break. Yeah, but we were talking about this when it comes to reading. We're going to get to our book recommendations in a second. I, I have put rude. I've heard so many people say I read for an hour every day. Okay, I'm going to read for an hour. Every day. I am not reading for an hour every day. I don't know where they find the hour, but it's not in my mindset. But I can do 20 minutes every day and I do 20 minutes and guess what? It's the baby steps. And I've had people say, you only read for 20 minutes. You obviously haven't seen my schedule or how many things I got finished, but it feels great. And I set a timer because I'm going to do the 20 minutes even though I want to like after five and the books get read and I find my little ADHD brain that reading just for 20 minutes, I absorb what was in those 10 pages way more than if I read for an hour and forced myself to.

That's right.

Yes. Right. It's like bite sized chunks that actually make it in and it's like, wow, that made sense. I can use that. So.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. No, it's, it's, it's, it's a difference. It's again, it's the difference between forcing yourself to doing something and being open to being, to getting information and learning things. I'm just trying to pull up my book that I'm working on because in addition to the book we're recommending, we're also going to share a book that we're reading. And I'm going through my Kindle right now to see because I am one of these people that I literally have. Okay. So I have in the uncollected section on my Kindle, that's where I have the books that I am currently reading right now. There is 142 in there. So I need to pick one. I need to pick one and finish it. And I think that's going to be a goal for my vacation, is to finish a bunch.

Oh, nice. Yeah.

So if I'm going to pick one, not the Everyday Rice Cooker that's, you know, that all kind of doesn't. Cookbooks don't really count as reading.

I'm thinking no.

Yeah.

Probably asking the wrong person.

So of the 142, there's probably, you know, maybe three or four cookbooks that are on the go. But yeah. Okay, so. So do you have your, your book recommendations this time? All right, let's hear it.

And actually it's kind of funny because the last episode I recommended Wolf Pack by Abby Wambach. Right. And I said that was amazing. And I didn't plan this. I just went to my bookcase and I was like, okay, which one of these just like blew me away and made a difference. And, you know, if anyone's going to read one book, this is what I would recommend. And I grabbed Untamed by Glennon Doyle. Now, what is amazing about this, Glennon Doyle is Abby Wambach's partner. What does it say on the back here? Untamed will liberate women emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I believe Glennon was born to write this book just this way, at this moment in history. It is phenomenal. It is. If you have ever felt like you're trapped in a box, that you can't be you, that maybe what you're doing, you're not even sure that's what you wanted to be doing. It is Glennon's story. So it's personal, it's real, it's not. Pretty Millie, you would love her because she, like, swears and, and she's just.

I relate to that.

Real. Right. And. And she made some hard decisions and she definitely had some battles. She actually struggled with alcohol because that's what she was using to deny how much she didn't like her life. Right. That's so.

Happens a lot. Yeah.

And I, I read this because, I mean, Oprah loves this book. Every TV host that I've seen fell in love with this book. I super highly recommend it. And before I show you what I'm reading right now, the quote, we should.

Make sure that we put our book recommendations in the show notes as well.

I can totally do that. The quote for today for me, is from this book because I've got highlights all through it. So I just kind of opened it and found one in this chapter. She's talking about being brave. Right. Which I know so many women struggle with. And what it says is whether you're brave or not cannot be judged by people on the outside. Sometimes being brave requires letting the crowd think you're a coward. Sometimes being brave means letting everyone down but yourself.

Oof. And that's a scary thing. But that. That. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that. That is my life. Like, it's just because I'm finally living my life, and it doesn't. I don't care if you think I should live here or that I should run my business this way or whatever. That doesn't matter. Like, you run your life in your lane and I'll run mine, and we can meet in the middle.

Yeah, absolutely.

So what did you pick?

So my, my recommendation for this week is a personal development classic. This is called Getting Things Done. The Art of Stress Free Productivity. David Allen wrote it. This has been around A long time. And you can see I've had this one a long time. It's got all kinds of post it notes and little tape flags and all kinds of things. And this, this is one of those books that will give you a ton of ideas and ways that you can organize things and get action actually done. I don't use everything in this book, but there's a couple of things that I've picked up on that I've used for years and that have been incredibly helpful in helping me just sort of stay ahead of the mess and drama and all the things that come with life. So I highly recommend reading that. You know, getting things done. David Allen, a classic.

Have you ever done that, like four boxes kind of thing? If you ever end up with a to do list, that's like a hundred things and you know you're not doing that. So the urgent.

Important.

Yes, important. I've done that so many times. And it works in that you get the urgent and important gut. Like, it really helped me to clear the fog. Right? Yes. I want to organize my storage room.

Do I do that right now?

Nothing.

Yeah, it's back to organizing the filing cabinet like we were talking about before.

You know what? It's also back to all of those entrepreneurs, especially with the whole lockdown, who started working from home. And I know people that, well, if there were dishes in the sink in the kitchen, it would drive me nuts. I wouldn't be able to work. It's like I can tell how successful and busy I'm being out in my career by the state of my home. Because when the fog clears and I've finished that last event, I kind of turn around and it's like, exactly when.

Did the alarm go out?

Exactly. And it's like. And I think now's the time to deal with this. So it's never unhealthy. But yeah, it's. I really don't care.

Well, and this is where the concept of balance falls apart. You know, the idea that we, if we are perfectly balanced, then everything in our lives will be perfectly up to date and done all the time. And that, my friend, is BS because you can. There's only so much time and energy and effort that you can put into one area at a time. You cannot. The very definition of the word priority is the one thing that is the most important. You cannot have multiple priorities at the same time. So if you are 100% focused on what work is happening, something else is going to kind of fall away. And the trick is to keep some Level of touching all the bases, making sure that you eat right and get sleep and get exercise and take care of your work. Work and take care of your house. But you also have to accept that there's going to be seasons in your life where you're going to fall off a wagon or two, and that's okay.

And who are you doing it for? Like, my home is clean and comfortable enough for me. And if someone. I can hear my mom. If someone were to come here and not be impressed, my mom would be the first to say, make sure that's the. The last time you invite them to your home. Because if they're there judging it, that's not a friend. Right. So, like, do I clean before people come over? Of course.

But I just don't have people over. That's much.

And my cats love it. Yes, there are cat toys everywhere. And by the way, a shopping bag becomes a cat toy. It must do its mandatory 3 days on the floor before it gets picked up and put away. You can understand that you probably shouldn't come visit. But anyways, now we get to share what we're reading right now. Okay, you shared. Did you pick off your list? Which one you're reading?

I did. I did. Well, so, okay, this is what I'm reading right now, but I'm not sure I'm going to recommend it yet. And that's. That's the thing.

Yeah, that's the difference.

Right.

We're kind of just judging these. Right.

This is what I'm working. This is what I'm working on and then thinking about.

So.

So this one is Rachel Rogers. We should all be a woman's guide to earning more, building wealth, and gaining Economic power. So. Sounds great. I am absolutely on board with the premise, but I need to. I've just barely started. I picked it up like two days ago. So I don't know if I can recommend it yet because sometimes a lot of these personal finance books, especially if they're written for women, can be either too much or not enough or giving bad advice or giving advice that's only relevant to a very small selection of people. And I understand. I mean, the idea of writing a personal finance book that is going to be the book for everybody is like, come on, it's not possible. You know, the wealthy barber is not for everyone. I don't think. It's not for me. It's not for my clients, but whatever.

Yeah.

That kind of thing. So.

Pretty sure I own that. And I know I haven't opened it.

And there you Go. So yes, I am reading this and I will report back when I'm done with it. And we will, we will see. We'll see what, what comes out of it. That could be, could be valuable.

Which reminds me. And you're probably going to have to remind me of this because it's been a ADHD out of my head in three seconds. But I have a bottle which is probably going to be my recommendation next time. Which I thought was absolutely flipping amazing. Written by a very well to do woman entrepreneur giving advice. I thought it was phenomenal. I would love to get you to read it because I would love to get. Because you have the know how in that area. Right. She could be saying something that's total BS and I'm going well, what a great idea. But you would know like that's not actually going to work. Right. So that's the book I think I'm going to kick over to you. I actually also think I own the book. That's the counterbalance to the one you just mentioned. It's something about the successful that chose to stay small.

So it's interesting not ringing a bell immediately, but okay.

And I'm totally murdering the title and I haven't read it yet, but it's okay. The businesses that are successful and thriving but they didn't ever want to become big corporations. They didn't want to have 200 people staff. They.

I'm like that.

Right? I am totally like that. Which is why I picked up the book. But I haven't read it yet so I can't recommend it. You are going to die when I show you what I'm reading.

Okay.

I'm just on the trip and have to spend time the waiting. Wait, wait, wait. In airports and all this.

Men. Masculine. Oh my goodness. Men. Masculinity in the Indian Act. That looks like work, frankly for you. It is work. But it's.

If it's well written that could be incredibly easy read. Which I was impressed. I was thinking it was going to be really academic and it's not. And I haven't read a lot of it yet. But knock that little thing off my mic again. The premise is that so often when you look at Canadian history, is it racism or is it sexism?

It's probably a lot of the time. Yeah.

And there is literal examples of legislation where basically the courts are the. The government wanted. It had to be one or the other.

Yeah.

Right. And it. Which is ridiculous because it was both. Right. So and I, I touched on this how the, the nations were Many of them were matriarchal and how that was taken over. So that's where that men and masculinity comes in and how it's built right into the Indian Act. So a lot of stuff I knew because obviously my work, I love the way it's presented in this book. So I don't know if I'll recommend it on our podcast because obviously it's very specific to my work, but it's. So far, I am really, like, I usually read one or two pages. Almost like I don't want to read. I'm reading this one. This one I know I will finish. So.

Yeah, yeah, no, that's. Yeah. I mean, if you can find a book on a topic that's that dense like that, that requires. Requires so much nuance to really be able to grasp it and to have. And to be honest, if you're coming to it with a lot of background knowledge and experience, you're going to appreciate a book like that a lot more than I would. But if you can honestly say that it is an easy and, for lack of a better word, relaxing read, that really says something for the author.

Yeah. Like I said, it didn't feel like work at all. It was like, what? Okay, like. And there were things that even I. The snake land. And the other thing I love about this, and this is going to make me sound horrible, but I hope everyone understands my point. It's written by a guy and I was like, okay, like, the self awareness. The. The. Right. Just that he can see that even as a man, this was not a good thing. Right. So that really impressed me. Me. Because obviously, as women, we can talk about these things, but for a man to have that level of self awareness, I was like, whoa, I'm.

Is he an indigenous man?

He is an indigenous man that was denied status because of the masculinity in the Indian Act.

Okay, so he's right.

So he. Yeah. And he definitely felt the. The results. And.

Yes.

And one of his points is we often talk about how unfair it is to the women, but it's actually unfair to indigenous peoples. The offspring. The male offspring get caught up in it too.

Yeah.

So. Yeah.

Yeah. Fascinating. Yay.

I did my quote. Did you do your quote? You didn't do your.

I didn't do my quote. So. Yes. So Sandy noticed that on. If you're watching this on video, that on the back one wall behind my desk here, I have. I have a quote. It's in French, and the. Well, I'll try to read it in French. And I apologize for my accent. It's a Voltaire quote, and the rough English translation is, I have decided to be happy today because it is good for my health. And I'm sure I've butchered the French, but that's. That's what I take in English.

Impressed with your French.

So, like, I speak. But, you know, I took three years of French in high school, and it's reduced itself to the point where I'd say I have restaurant French. I can read a menu in French. I can order a meal in French. Beyond that, don't count on me to find anything.

I love that. That's amazing. So. Yeah, well, my dad was French, so anytime I hear the accent or whatever, it's like, oh, I love that. Right? But, yeah, that was really good. Way to go, you. So, I. I guess we are coming to the end of the episode. Next time, do we remember what the tea is?

Girl, I'm counting on you to remember that. You're the one who came up with it.

I have to. I have to open up my. Oh, duh. That's because it hasn't changed. We're gonna have fun next. I think both of us are experts in this field. The T in the PATH acronym is tenacity. Don't give up.

We have talks. We can talk about that.

How long have you been in business?

Doing well in this fourth iteration of my career? I've been since 20. I'll say 20. 20, basically. So foreign. Foreign years that I've built this. This block of my business.

Yeah.

Yeah. In some ways, that's. That's kind of. It makes me a new. It's a new business. Although I'm not a new business person in that sense, because I've done this three times before, and then my health got. And then I changed jobs, and then I had a business relationship that fell apart, and stuff happens, and here I am again.

And you know what, though? Like, anyone who goes into business has a skill in whatever area they're going into business in. Right? Like, otherwise, why are you doing this? You're just into torturing yourself. I don't.

Some of us are.

You should unpack that.

Tenacity and therapy for us.

You picked the team. That's awesome. Thank you so much for joining us again for yet another episode of the New PATH podcast, all about empowering women. Millie, you are amazing. I love hanging out with you.

Right back at you, babe. See you next time.

And next. Until next time.

Bye.

Bye.