After the Election & What Do We Do NOW?!

Hello, how are you doing? I asked that on purpose because in my world, on the other side of the camera, for example, when we're having a staff meeting, one of the first things I asked my staff, there goes blue. One of the first things I asked my staff is how are you doing? Scale of 1 to 10? 1. I'm barely hanging it to get. Barely hanging on, barely holding it together. 10. I'm on top of the world, ready to take on anything. I do that for two reasons, back to back teaching. If you're at a two, I know I got to bring an eight. I've got your back, I've got you. And if you're added to, then I'm not going to expect some in depth response to a question I might ask. I'm going to realize that it took everything you got to show up to this meeting and thank you so much for the respect and honoring our work by showing up to the meeting even when you were 2, because you didn't have to do that and you did. So I asked you today in light of the U. S. Elections and the fear and the overwhelming uncertainty that the future suddenly holds and how is ironic the right word? How I don't know how interesting that the U. S. Election and all that transpired happened during the week that I was talking about lateral violence and our own turning on our own and watching Americans turn on Americans and we're watching Canadians turn on Canadians. Any Canadian that's sitting back in arrogance and watching and looking down on the US and nothing to do with geography and everything to do with arrogance, cool your jets because we have conservatives here too. That may be the first to be crystal clear. I'm not the first, but let me be crystal clear. Pierre, Pollyv and Diane's Danielle Smith are the same kind of ugly and just as dangerous. When one group feels the need to tell another group how they should behave, what they can and can't do, what their identity is, we got problems. And speaking as an indigenous person, I can say that because Canada has been doing that to us since the settlers arrived and still trying to define what our success looks like and what indigenous looks like. And it's just lunacy. And just because it applies to some other group now doesn't make it any better or any worse. It's the same insanity. But today I wanted to talk about, I wanted to unpack a little bit of how we were feeling and what happened. And then more importantly, I wanted to focus on what did we do from here. So let's talk about it Sam. Foreign. Hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the loon clan, a proud member of Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. And welcome to my new office space. Through that door is my amazing assistant. The dynamic duo is together again. I just love it because I have staff that work here. I have staff that work virtually. But my assistant and I, we figured it out the other day. She's been with me since March of 2017. That's like what, seven years? We work well together. We are both indigenous. We get each other, we can laugh in the face of insanity. And laughter is healing. Not when you laugh at people, but just that guttural, healing laugh. And you know what, go off on a tangent here for a second. Yesterday I was in my office, Anita was in her office, my son was here helping us get things, finally hanging pictures and doing things. And we laughed and we laughed just because that's our personalities. But it was such a healthy laugh. It was such a healthy thing to do. And I know I for one, definitely needed it. So. What did we see in the U. S. Election? We saw privilege defending itself. We saw white straight, cisgendered men gather. We saw other men who wanted to be part of that group vote for Trump. We saw, we saw a lot of people in the aftermath, fearful, disillusioned, overwhelmed, facing an uncertain future. And now they know exactly what it feels like to be indigenous. And I'm going to say indigenous in Canada because that's my journey. But I'd probably say the same for in the states. And I realize many, many, many of the people that voted for Kamala Harris are already marginalized. They already knew what that felt like. But there's a whole bunch of white privileged people that now know it too. And when I pray is they don't forget. Because remember the back to back teaching. I'm leaning so hard on the back to back teachings recently. Remember the back to back teaching and the idea that you both look around the room without moving, staying back to back, and you can swivel your head and you realize that both of you can see so much of the room, but there's one part of the room you're both completely blind to that happens to be the part that's directly in front of the other person. The back to back teaching teaches us that what is what we can see, our truth is not the truth. That something that works for us doesn't necessarily work for everyone. That our whatever solution worked for us doesn't necessarily work for somebody else. And we can't ever see the whole picture without actually working with and talking to people that don't see what we see that bring another perspective. So what I'm fearful of and what I think a lot of fearful of people are fearful of in the US and in Canada is once again we are seeing the resurgence of what works for straight white men must be applied across the board because it's going to work for everyone and it doesn't. And I'm going to pretend they care and that they think it's going to work for everyone because they actually care for us and that that's a debate like baloney. They don't. They just care for themselves. That's what privilege does. And I have spoken about the white poor many times. The book the Cast was so enlightening to me. I'll put the info in the show notes. But the white poor have to like if you think of the hierarchy and the white poor at the bottom of whiteness above brown and black and they fight tooth and nail because they cannot and do not want to shift lower. So they get right upset when people are supportive of indigenous or supportive of newcomers or supportive of Black Lives Matter because they're afraid of that shift. And I've heard white poor screaming from the rooftops that where's our advocates? Where are, where's our activists? Indigenous have leaders, black have leaders, newcomers have leaders. Where's ours? I get the desperation, I don't get the scarcity mentality. I think that's convenient. I think attacking another group and doing to them what you don't want done to you is ludicrous. So I think first off we have to grieve. And if you saw my post from yesterday, that's what I took the day. I took like two days. Well, two days without videos because this won't, you won't see this till tomorrow. But I took the time just to sit in the sadness because I know that's the only way through it. I sat in the grief and the disillusionment so that I could get to the what do we do next? And yes, I've got a handy dandy index card. It's white this time. So what do I think we should do next? There's two I'm a lean hard on two on my teachings. And that's, that's the benefit of our teachings is they apply to so many different situations. The first one is again that back to back teaching and looking at back to back teaching as it applies to conflict resolution because in the States and very rapidly in Canada, you have opposing sides and two forces that are clashing. And trust me, as being indigenous and working in First Nation communities. I just described every First Nation community. Two large families at odds with each other. We are familiar with the concept. So first thing. Well, first before we talk about conflict resolution, do your healing, do your grieving, take that time because you can't play in this arena until you do that, you're just gonna get hurt. Okay, once that's done and you're back and it's, you're at the okay, what can I do now Stage because you can't stand, stay there. That's not helpful. Giving up does not help. It just guarantees future pain. Okay, so let's not stay there. Three rules of conflict resolution. The first one, you move towards the conflict, which means we have to keep having these discussions and that means we're going to have discussions with people that don't disagree or with people who do disagree with us. Now, I'm going to be full transparency here. I do not do this in my personal life. If you come appear in my personal life in whatever way, shape or form, and you're a supporter of either Trump or Pierre Poliev or Daniel Smith, I have zero time for you because. And I've had people say, what, you're going to stop talking to me because you know I like a politician. Yes, because that tells me what your values are. I could care 2 beans the entity, but if you're okay with that person's values, then that tells me those are your values. And that's not the values of anyone I want in my world. So before anyone calls me out, I do this for a career. I do this every single day. I'm not also doing it in my personal life. That is asking way too much that my self care goes out the window. But professionally I have stood on stages and stood in the face of people that have some pretty ignorant things to say about Indigenous people. Because Indigenous Canadian reconciliation is my game. That's my career. So I've taken on and moved towards the conflict and created safe spaces so that we could discuss these issues my entire career. So the first one, you move towards the conflict, you don't. You take time away from it to heal and then you come back and you don't come back to attack and you don't come back to criticize, which I'm going to go off on another tangent here. Welcome to today's video. I am so staying away from social media right now, whether it's cocky, rude, arrogant Trump supporter that is attacking and now bullying and making fun. And trust me, the Karen's in the red next just got super empowered, so that's going to be a thing. So staying clear of that or I saw a post this morning of someone bragging that they didn't vote so you allowed the Assanity to continue. Thanks for doing nothing. I mean, it's ludicrous. So take care of yourself, do what you got to do because that's not moving towards the conflict that's creating conflict. And I've run into way too many people that I don't care, care. It's just me. I just look after my own. How's that delusion working for you? Unless you're living out in the bush by yourself, that doesn't even apply. This does affect you. You're just copping out and, and paving the way for insanity to happen. So again, thanks for doing nothing. Like come on, gets real here. Secondly, when you move towards the conflict, what is super important is to remember or to go into that discussion with the attitude that you know nothing about that person or their beliefs or why they did what they did. If you go into a discussion hating Trump's supporters, hating Pierre Polyev supporters, hating Danielle Smith's supporters, you are building a wall, not a bridge. So if you are curious and you ask questions and go in with the attitude, I know nothing. I want to find out, for example, not going to share where it came from because I didn't get his permission. But I was chatting with an individual Canadian whose wife happens to be Puerto Rican and she voted for Trump. So we were in my office, my safe space and trust me, I was going to say something and I decided no silence, right? Ask the questions. I know nothing. So I was like really interesting. And he went on to share and I didn't even catch this, which is back to back teaching, not my perspective, which is why the not knowing and the silence is so important and the asking of the questions. He explained how many people in Puerto Rico want to break away from the US and that Kamala Harris had supported that separation and said she would support that separation and them becoming an individual country. But many of the older people and this man's wife and his in laws do not want to separate. So that was enough for them to vote for Trump. Not because they're okay with abortion bans and they're okay with mass deportation, but the fact that their country, their, you know, Puerto Rico, it's part of the U.S. now, it's part of the country of the United States. But if it were to separate, that is incredibly personal to them. So that is the reason they voted. Though I may not agree with them voting for Trump, but I can understand wanting, I can understand why, because I moved towards the conflict, because I acted like I know nothing. And in this case, I absolutely didn't. And I stayed silent long enough for them to answer. And that's the third one to stay silent. Not to attack when they give their answer, not to try to convince them to otherwise. Because first you got to build the bridge before you start redesigning it. You got to create the safe spaces for them to share. What is their fear? Why did they think this is a good idea? Do you know what's another fact that I tripped over in the last couple days? That every leader, I'm going to use the word leader because there's prime ministers and there's presidents or whatever, every leader that was in charge during the pandemic and in the aftermath of the pandemic, excuse me, got voted out, got replaced. And to me that's just easy. It is so easy to criticize. I personally, I wouldn't want, like, there is no way in heck I would want to be running a country during the pandemic. It was the biggest guessing game and lives were on the line. And I think when I hear, heard President Obama bragging about how great a job Canada did because per capita we had so many less deaths. When I see in the states that the economy is doing so great and people don't even see it, like, it's just, yeah, so Biden's out, Trump's in, Trudeau's on shaky, shaky grounds. And the last thing Canada needs is another conservative government. I live in the, live in the city of Thunder Bay, but I live in the province of Ontario that has a provincial government. We had a premiere that's all about alcohol and, and southern Ontario and forgetting about the rest of us. And there's nothing worse than double conservatives, federal and provincial. Just my two cents. Last but not least, as you try to go forward and self care is essential, teach other people how to treat you. Treat yourself as a person of value and expect them to do same. Right? It doesn't start with them, it starts with you. That's where so many people make a mistake. They expect it from someone else, but they're not valuing themselves. So treat yourself like a person of values and that other people can see what's the acceptable way to treat you. Last but not least, because we're Protecting your self care as we move forward and continue this work is the wall metaphor, which is totally on track because good old Trump is back. Imagine a wall goes from east coast to west coast across Canada. My wall is not intimidating in any way, shape or form. It's the height of a table. It's wide enough and strong enough. You can get up and dance on it. So not keeping anyone out, but imagine for a second, on one side are the indigenous people living within Canadian borders and on the other side are all non indigenous people. There's people like me dancing on the wall. I'm as comfortable in a group of non indigenous people as I am in a group of indigenous people. There's a good chance I might hear something I disagree with in either group. There's also a good chance I'll hear stuff I agree with, depending on which group on each side. So I'm dancing on the wall and there's so many other people like me dancing on the wall, doing good work. Maybe you're one of them. The people we work with, the people that watch my videos, the people that come to my seminars and workshops are the people touching the wall. They want to get up on the wall. They want to have that feel freedom and that self confidence and that comfort from knowing who they are and why they're here. And we have all the time and effort and energy and information for those people. But what's super important to remember. And by the way, the wall metaphor applies to any two groups. You want to talk Republicans and Democrats. You want to talk conservatives and liberals here in Canada or indigenous and non citizens. Same thing on both sides. There are people so far away from the wall that you recognize them because they say, why bother? It's never going to change. If I hear one more people talking about being an anarchist, I'm going to lose my poop because like, give me a break, right? That feel free to duck out of the game. That gives more power to the people that we don't want in power. So again, thanks for doing nothing. That's not how we fix this. But on both sides of the wall, there are people that don't believe it's going to happen. And the point is, if you take all your precious energy and time and try to speak to someone so far away from the wall that they're not going to hear you, all you're going to do is exhaust and frustrate yourself. You are not a sacrificial lamb. We do not need you sacrificing yourself for the cause. We need you to reach out and speak to the people that are ready and touching the wall, ready to hear you, ready to have a decent conversation. The problematic people don't come to my seminars but I celebrate every single non indigenous person that does because that shows me that they are genuinely interested in learning. And yes, I charge more for mandatory training sessions because I know I have a greater risk of being a target in those sessions. That's my self respect. So back to back teachings remember that just because it looks black and white to you doesn't mean that someone else doesn't have justifiable fears and concerns. And back to back teaching says that we move towards the conflict and we remember that we know nothing about this person's perspective. But if we are okay in the silence because that's where the answers show up and we ask decent and respectful questions because we can get together and the wall metaphor reminds us to dance on the wall and celebrate every small win you got. Beautiful sunny day today. Celebrate it. Talk to the people that are open to hearing and sharing with you. The problematic people are for another time. Okay, I hope that helped. I hope you're doing okay. Back to how are you doing? I'm. Where am I sitting today? Probably a six or seven. I was down in like two, three. I'm getting better but it's going to take time and it's going to take work and it's going to take conversations and respectful questions and I'm willing to do it all. And just one last thing I wanted to say. I got your back. That back to back teachings is a physical representation of the saying I've got your back meaning if I see something coming your way that you can't see see, yes, I'm going to warn you about it. And yes, you have the option to dismiss it and say I'm imagining things. But at least I tried and I will continue to try because I'm fighting for Canada just like Kama tried doing for the us. I don't hate non indigenous people. If I did I couldn't do my career. I have no interest in judging anyone. I do want to understand. I do want to work together and I want to stop the attacks on indigenous people, the marginalization and stereotypes of indigenous people because they don't build bridges, they build walls. And not the friendly kind that I was just talking about. That's it for me. We will get back to regularly scheduled content next week. I hope you're okay. I love you. Take care. Bye bye. It.