An Agreement to END Lateral Violence ...

Okay, so lateral violence is the bane of our existence. If you are an Indigenous person, it is devastating our First Nation communities and our First Nation agencies. And even if you're a non Indigenous employer and you have a unit or department of Indigenous people, you're dealing with lateral violence. If you're working with marginalized people at all, you're dealing with lateral violence because it is a condition of oppression. It's a reaction to oppression. So it exists today. What I want to talk about, you know me, I'm solution focused. So today we're going to talk about whose responsibility it is to end lateral violence. You may be surprised. And I actually have an agreement you can use with your employees to move past this. And then at the end, just to make this interesting, I have a question for you. So let's talk about it. Hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River first nation in Treaty 3 territory in Northern Ontario, an Indigenous Canadian. Reconciliation is my dream. It is my goal, it is my passion, it is my focus. And I run with the assumption that we haven't achieved reconciliation yet because we don't know how, or that most of the people don't know how. I refuse to believe that it's because people don't care, because I stand on a stage in front of audiences of people who care on a regular basis. So I just don't believe that. Do I know some people don't care? Yes. They don't care because they don't realize they benefit from Indigenous Canadian reconciliation, too. Canadian Indigenous reconciliation benefits everyone. And I could go off on a tangent, but I'm not going to do that because today we're talking about lateral violence. Lateral violence is the gossiping, it is the bullying, it's the backstabbing, it's the ostracizing. It is the negativity between members of a marginalized group, Indigenous on Indigenous, marginalized, unmarginalized. And it is horrific to watch. And I gotta say, for non Indigenous employers, I have spoken to your HR departments, I have spoken to your HR managers. And this is an area they don't even want to touch. Because Indigenous engagement and employment and retention is such a hot topic. The fact that they may have to reprimand or say something to someone about their behavior is just a path they don't want to go down. Which leads me to responsibility. I promised in the opening that we were going to talk about whose responsibility is it to end lateral violence, Whether it's in Our First Nation communities, First Nation agencies or non indigenous entities that employ indigenous peoples. Okay, so let's start on the non indigenous side for a not. Well, we're not even going to go there. The employer side. You are responsible to create a safe space for your employees. You can't do the ostrich principle, sticking your head in the sand. It is your job to ensure your employees have a safe work environment, which means you cannot tolerate lateral violence. You probably didn't want to hear that because that's a huge responsibility. But you can't. If you turn a blind eye or try to excuse it, do nothing. You are tolerating it. You are creating an unsafe space. And now you're at the risk of being sued by someone. So, no, the employer, huge. Your responsibility to ensure lateral violence is not happening in your workplace. Having said that, the responsibility falls on indigenous people not to be laterally violent, to agree to not gossip or bully or ostracize or talk behind someone's back or whatever the case may be. The jokes that aren't funny, all of that. We have to change our conversation, we have to change our actions. And, and we can blame our employer if we're not doing anything about it. And that also includes speaking up when someone's being laterally violent. And I know that's hard. It's also a step on the path to empowerment. If you don't find your voice, we all know what happens to indigenous women who don't have a voice. We go missing. So you have to find your voice. Which is why, by the way, full day training sessions on how to end lateral violence was my most popular request in the year 2024. I don't see that changing for 2025. So during the last session, because this is policies we are talking about policies. You know, how you get your new employee to sign an oath of confidentiality or get them to agree to whatever onboarding orientation program they have to sign that they took it, this is part of it. In the same way that I use my Personalities 101 quiz when I have a new employee to ensure that I know how to supervise them in a way that's going to support them. Same kind of thing with this agreement. And I have called it the Commitment to Heal Agreement. Now, in this case, by the way, if you send me an email, I will send you this agreement to use as a template to design your own. So in this case, when I came up with this, I was working with a First nations agency. So that's the slant of this agreement. It would be pretty easy for you to add in. As a non indigenous entity, we understand blah, blah, blah, but this is as an indigenous entity, okay? So I just want to share this with you. This is something your new employee would sign up to your new indigenous employee or marginalized employee, whatever the case may be, it is different. It is racism if a non indigenous person is doing that different problem. This is indigenous signing that. We're going to end this. Okay? Commitment to heal. Agreement opening paragraph. As an indigenous agency, we understand that our people have endured a lot over the generations. That trauma has been passed down along with our resiliency. Unfortunately, that also means that unhealthy habits and behaviors have also been passed down. Here at There's a blank where you would put in your agency or First Nation community. We believe all peoples deserve and need safe spaces to live, work and play in. Our employees deserve and need a safe environment to be able to do the essential work they do. But we understand that a safe space cannot be mandated. It can only be created through the cooperation of each staff person. Like an incredible feast is made up of many amazing dishes. Our safe space is made up of many amazing employees willing to behave in a way that maintains that safe space. In line with that philosophy, as a new employee, I agree. And then there's four bullet points. I want to interject here for a second. Every employee should sign this. Indigenous or not. If they're working in an indigenous entity, then they have to sign this. And by the way, women are a marginalized group. So even if you're not indigenous, you're not a person of color, you still belong to a marginalized group. Lateral violence could still happen. Everyone needs to sign this. You'll see why when we do the bullet points. So first one, that the only time I can speak about another person is if I am speaking to that person, I am praising the person I am speaking about, or I have firsthand knowledge of another person's behavior that may be harmful to a team member or staff person. And I'm sharing it on a need to know basis to ensure their safety. Often we are working with client groups that could actually be violent. So if you have that knowledge about another person, yes, you have to share it with your team. So that's why. But it's very specific. If it's not going to physically or mentally harm them, you shouldn't end. You have to have firsthand knowledge. This is not something you heard about someone. That is literally the definition of gossip. You have firsthand knowledge. This person did this to me. I want you to have the heads up so you can be safe. We still have to service this person, but be safe. Okay, that was the first point. Second one, I understand that passive aggressive comments or jokes are not part of a safe and healthy work environment environment. So I will refrain from making them. If I have an issue with a co worker or team member, I will speak to them directly and and as soon as possible after the issue arises to ensure that problems do not fester and grow. We have way too many cases where something happens with a coworker and it is discussed outside at a smoke break with everyone else on the team except the person that's involved. That's lateral violence. That can't happen. Third point. I will offer encouraging words and support as often as possible to ensure our team continues to grow healthier and stronger. This is the change the conversation part instead of the negativity. Instead of minimizing someone's achievement, encouragement and support. Way to go. High fives, whatever the case may be. And last, I will take part in healing activities on my own and as offered through this agency to ensure that I am as healthy a team member as possible. I put that in because I mentioned how indigenous people are constantly told, get an education, get a job, earn an income. But if we do not build healing into that, this does not change. So there you have it. A commitment to heal. Agreement. I think this is something we all need to adopt and we need to enforce. That kind of behavior is not allowed in my organization. Any of that negative lateral violence stuff, you're gone. You're gone. You're either going to change or you're gone. Because that's how we change things. No more tolerating. Yes, I understand where it comes from. Yes, you were probably taught this. You have been a victim, but now you're in the driver's seat and you decide what you do. And if you're going to continue being laterally violent, you can't be here because we're creating a safe space. It is that simple. Tolerating it means you as an employer are creating a toxic work environment. You're going to end up in court. Don't say I didn't warn you. Now, I did say at the beginning I was going to ask you a question. It's a question that was asked to me not directly, but as part of a training program I was taking this morning. So the question is, who do you, you know that I should know? Who do you know that I should know? What Agency, community, whatever out there, do you know that I should be in contact with to help them with the challenges they're facing. So put it in the comments, email me whichever is more. And of course you're going to get a bonus for referring me because I record. I reward people that help me accomplish my goals of uniting a country. So let's do this together. No more lateral violence. And who do you know that I should talk to? I hope that made sense. I hope we can do this. But we can't do this by doing the same old thing. We have to change the conversation and the behavior. Then we get to enjoy the results. Until tomorrow. I love you. Take care. Bye. Bye.