An Ally Voice is NOT an Indigenous Voice

Okay, so a couple of things happened. I kind of have a secret for you. First off, I ran out of time before I went on my road trip. Yeah, I'm kind of technically back, even though in yesterday's video I said I wasn't. So. Shh. I ran out of time to shoot that last video before I left, so I'm shooting it now. We're just gonna pretend that I'm still on the road trip because when I do acknowledge that I'm back, I got a whole bunch of things to tell you. So just let's go on an imagination journey. I'm not really here. I'm on my road trip, kind of sorta. So we can talk about the last five things you can do as an individual to actually advance reconciliation. It'll all make sense by the end of the week. I hope. So. Let's talk about it. Hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher, and I have something stabbing me in the eye. I'm going to guess a random gray hair, because anyone who has gray hair knows they do whatever they want to do. Wow. That is not fun. Okay, are you gone now? Are you gone now? How about now? Now Hair is not caught in my glasses. That's happened too. I think I'm good. Hi, my name is Sandy Boucher. Misko Poggin on quaint addition. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River first nation in Treaty 3 territory in Northern Ontario. And I make my living as a public speaker. I am dedicated to Indigenous Canadian reconciliation. So as I describe it, I balance the feather. I spend half my time working in First Nation communities, helping them to heal, helping them to get past the past, helping them to realize their value is not dictated by some other person and another person's vision problem is not their value problem. Even though that's not what the environment's been telling them for years upon years upon years. The other half of the time, I'm working with non Indigenous entities, helping them with missing pieces, misinformation and stereotypes that just the education they never received. I share an Indigenous perspective, and that's something that non Indigenous Canadians have been denied. So if you're new to my channel, welcome. I'm so glad you're here. Don't forget to subscribe. I share a lot of good stuff. And if you've been on this journey with me for a while, I hope you know how much I love you. Now, water. Water. In yesterday's video, I shared the first five ways an individual can help advance Reconciliation. And I shared how it's from a handout that I did because a while back I was asked to speak to a group on how to help Indigenous people feel welcome and supported in the city of Thunder Bay, which is where I live. And if you don't know about the reputation of the city of Thunder Bay, you should probably google that. We have the reputation for being the capital of anti Indigenous racism. There are people who live here that would debate that. As a white presenting Indigenous woman, I can tell you it is so real, it is so earned, and it's something we got to get on top of. So when I was asked to speak on how we could change that, I jumped at the chance. The problem, I was given 10 minutes to speak to it. And if you ever ask an Indigenous person to come in and speak on something so instrumental to our futures, to our current lives, to our safety, to our well being, please don't give us 10 minutes to do it. But anyone who knows me knows I'm up for a challenge. So I thought, how in the world am I going to do this? Well, I came up with a handout and I thought, you know what? They're not going to have a chance to talk to me or ask questions while I'm there. But at least I hope the handout gets them thinking even after I'm gone. So yesterday we talked about the first five. Just a quick review here. Number one, In a time when so many feel powerless, responsibility is power. Own that making people welcome here is a responsibility we all carry. I mentioned yesterday, this does not just apply to the city of Thunder Bay. If you're in Canada, you have a responsibility, as far as I'm concerned, to make Indigenous people feel welcomed and valued on our own traditional territories. If you are not doing that, you are officially part of the problem. Two, own your privilege. Know your experience is not the experience. Take the quiz. And of course, I'm talking about Peggy McIntosh's unpacking the invisible Knapsack Quiz. It's available online, it's open source. You can download it and use it. I always suggest people go through the first time, check off how many of the phrases that Peggy used to describe her own reality, how many of those you can relate to, which will help you determine your level of privilege. And then I always ask people to go back and do the quiz again and this time, imagine what it's like to not have any of that privilege. That'll get you way closer to understanding the Indigenous experience. Number three, know that choosing to do nothing or to Stay silent is a great example of your privile. Others can't take their skin off. And yesterday, and in many other videos, I have acknowledged my own personal privilege. I am a white presenting indigenous person. If I'm not wearing my beadwork, if my tattoos are covered up, I'm gonna be pretty much accepted. But if darker family members tried to do the same thing, go to the same establishment, order food at the same restaurant, or even my son who is darker skinned, they're going to have a whole different experience. That's what I'm talking about. Number four, be an ally. While understanding that ally in this context is a verb, not a noun, take action. And I suggested that the best I shared how the best description of how to be a great ally that I've ever heard was actually three very short phrases. Shut up, listen. Do only what is asked. Be quiet so you can hear the indigenous voice. Listen to the indigenous voice. And then when we say we need your help doing something, do just that. Don't add to it. Don't try to do more. That's paternalistic. That's taking back the mic and the power. Again, if you want to listen to us, listen to us. We know what we need, so don't add in. Number five, educate yourself on what internalized oppression is and what it looks like. Recognize the three ways humans react to long, long term oppression. When you see it, which is violence, acquiescence and non violent resistance. Which brings us into number five, which is today's video. Number six, I should say number six is support any and all non violent resistance. Do not take the mic. Non violent resistance is any action that an oppressed person takes. This is basically screaming to the world, I'm not the stereotype. I refuse to be the stereotype. I don't believe that about myself or my people. And I'm proving you wrong. An indigenous youth graduating from high school is an act of nonviolent resistance. When you live in an environment that tells you you're going to be a welfare bum and a drain on the coffers of the country, that takes guts. That takes nerve. When I work with colleges and universities, I am constantly highlighting that you have no idea how much courage it is that is required for an indigenous person to even walk into a university or college. Huge. When the voice in their head and probably the voices of many people they know are saying, why are you even trying? It's never going to change anything. That's oppression, internalized oppression in the form of the voice in your head and the voices of Others. So do not minimize it. We got to get way better at celebrating nonviolent resistance. And don't take the mic away. When someone says they graduated high school, don't add in. Yeah, I did too, and it was really great. Like, don't make it about you. Let them stand in the spotlight for a minute. It's really super uncomfortable for them. They've probably never been there before or rarely. Let them enjoy it. Let them taste success without diverting it to something else. And even worse, or even more important, do not minimize it. Do not dismiss it. An indigenous youth getting, or an indigenous person of any age getting a driver's license is huge. Daring to bid for a job is huge. Daring to go away to college or university, daring to move to another city because they think they'll have more opportunities there. These are all huge mountains they're overcoming. We got to quit minimizing it. If we celebrate it, then we can encourage their success and others will see their success. And then we really start changing this, which is the goal. Hey, that was six. Can you tell I came back rested? Oh, I'm not back. I anticipate that when I come back from my road trip, I'll be rested. Okay. 7. Understand a positive experience is dependent upon relationships. Apologize and say I'm sorry. When getting by someone say, excuse me with a smile. Comment on a beautiful baby. Hold open the door. Understand the shock. Forgive the rudeness. Now I can just imagine a whole bunch of people are going to respond to this video and say, well, I treat everyone like that. Awesome. You'd be amazed how many people do not. They treat everyone else that way except for indigenous people. When it comes to indigenous people, and trust me, I live in the city of Thunder Bay. I see it all the time. The racism is so often drenched in disgust. Disgust that this indigenous person is here. Discuss that they're sitting next to me. Discuss that they're trying to talk to me. Disgust that they're in the lineup in the grocery store ahead of me. If you don't believe me, watch. Start observing. Don't say anything. Just watch. You'll see what I mean. So when a non indigenous person comments to a young indigenous mom or mom of any age, like, what a beautiful baby. Do not be surprised if they don't say thank you. There's a really good chance they're going to be super shocked. But what you're going to do is they're going to go home and they're constantly going to be thinking about that non indigenous person that wasn't the stereotype. Because we have stereotypes about non indigenous people, too. And you're not that horrible racist that everyone told me all non indigenous people are. And that begins the change. Those little comments, that smile. It's huge. Huge. And if an indigenous person is being rude. There was an incident in Thunder Bay, this is years ago, where indigenous youth were hanging out on the steps of the movie theater and yelling out racist, yelling out derogatory comments to the non indigenous people going in. That is such a sign of internalized oppression. I'm going to try to prove that you don't terrify me. I'm going to pretend that I have as much power as you do. They know you. They don't. Is that the best way for them to deal with it? No. But if you understand internalized oppression, you also understand where it comes from. Less judgment, more understanding. Number eight, hold and make space for someone. No indigenous peoples at your meeting. Bring someone along. Suggest diverse memberships. Pass the mic. Make room for Anishinaabemowin. So as a non indigenous person, I guarantee you you can get into rooms that I can't. That I still can't. You got to start looking around. At those public meetings, at those committee meetings, at your board meetings, at your staff meetings. Are there any indigenous people in the room? If not, mention that. Call it out. And calling it out, probably a misleading phrase. I don't mean attacking someone. I mean pointing it out. And keep pointing it out until that changes. If it's a public meeting or a meeting you've been invited to. I was invited to community meetings and so many indigenous people I know were not invited. Problematic. So whenever possible, bring an indigenous person with you. You do not ever want to be the voice for indigenous people. And unfortunately, that's why I see so many allies cross the line. They have the relationship with indigenous people. There's no indigenous people in their company, so they speak for us or try to explain what we would think. Totally overstepping. Totally. Instead, what they should be doing is saying, you know what? Y' all really need to be speaking to indigenous people about this trust. And when they say, well, what do you mean now? You need to get that directly from indigenous people. Holding your ground and holding space for us. And Anishinaabemowin is our language, the Ojibwe language, wherever you are, whatever traditional territory, like, our languages need to be spoken and we need to make room for that. Number nine, call out or disrupt racism. Give up your seat. Let me help you. Get in between racism and the victim. Or just tell the Offensive one to shut. Shut up. If you're in a store, a restaurant, a hair salon, wherever, and you hear a racist comment thrown out against someone, we gotta quit expecting the victim to say something because in that moment they are shocked, silenced, embarrassed. It's totally overwhelming, especially if you're in a place where you actually thought you were safe from that crap. If you're not being attacked, then you have way more power and self control. Say something like, I have said, excuse me. Not in my city. Excuse me. That's freaking rude. Excuse me. I don't think so. Whatever it is, just say something now. Is there a chance the person who said the horrific comment is gonna just continue on? Absolutely. But at least that victim knew there was one person in that room that cared what was happening to them. Be that person, please. Last but not least, boy, do I need a drink of water. So much better. Last but not least, use the four sacred tools as mentioned in my book, the Path. It spells the word path. P is for patience. This will not be solved in one day. The A is for awareness of what is going on in your community, not just for people who look like you. T is for tenacity. Keep going, don't give up. And H is for humility. Set out to learn. There you have it, my friend. 10 things you can do on a daily basis that may seem so small, but they make such a huge difference. We have got to quit leaving it in the hands of the government. That would be a scary place to leave any kind of future steps in the hands of your employers, in the hands of your municipal government. Whatever it is you what number one was responsibility. You pick up the responsibility if you genuinely want things to change. If you genuinely think you're an ally, then you need to be doing these steps. And I for one am going to comment and celebrate every single time you do. So I hope that helped. What did you think? Aren't these easy enough to do? I think so. It might be uncomfortable at first, but you know what? Being uncomfortable as an ally, saying something is nowhere near as uncomfortable as being the victim of anti indigenous racism. And if you're thinking about your comfort level, you're still thinking of the wrong person. Allies think of the people they're trying to help. And I hope that's you. So tomorrow is May 1, which means the video we're releasing is the next episode of my podcast with Millie. Absolutely love it. And Thursday I will be back from my road trip and I have something exciting to share with you. Lots of changes underfoot. I hope you enjoyed this video. I love you lots. Talk to you soon. Bye bye.