A short YouTube talk by Sandi L Boucher (Red Thunderbolt, Loon clan, Seine River First Nation) about challenges in Canadian Indigenous reconciliation work, focusing on the barrier she calls the “ego gatekeeper” — people who, despite admitting limited knowledge, let ego block learning and slow progress. She describes her nonjudgmental teaching approach, workshop practice (‘Missing Pieces’), and tactics to encourage humility and continued engagement.
Chapters
This is going to sound a little weird, but today I want to introduce you to someone that I hope you never meet, that person that I call the ego gatekeeper. Let's talk about it. Hi everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River first nation in Treaty 3 territory in Northern Ontario. And I work in the realm of Canadian Indigenous reconciliation. I work a lot with nonprofit corporations who want to either engage in Indigenous engagement, they want to start working with first nations communities, or they want to do a better job at the work that they've been doing with Indigenous peoples. So always they are open and willing to acknowledge that their knowledge in this area is limited. That's why they hire me to come in to share. I often do a presentation called Missing Pieces, the essential pieces of information that I believe they need to know to be successful with their Indigenous engagement. And my favorite part is always the Q and A where they get to ask their questions. And I, I don't do shame or guilt. I'm not attacking anyone. I absolutely refuse to crucify someone for something they do they don't know. How does that make sense? So I always encourage them, don't worry about using the wrong words or offending me. I've done the training and the healing to do this work. Please ask your questions. And yes, every now and then someone uses a word that might get themselves, get them into trouble in other venues. So I always explain to them, okay, problematic word, here's why it's problematic, and here's a better word to use. But most importantly, I answer their questions and we have the most amazing discussions. The event is always amazing. It's the aftermath that gets a little wonky. And what I mean by aftermath is these are the corporations and this doesn't always happen, but often these corporations now realize they need more than just one keynote or one workshop and they want to continue to work with me. So in whatever form that's going to take, and that's always exciting, maybe it's just me, maybe I just interpret, misinterpret things, but at that point I always think that invitation, that statement that we're going to continue working together is a declaration that they're willing to learn, kind of makes sense. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe you can tell me if I'm wrong. Would you interpret it that way? So often I get follow up emails or a conversation continues. And of course, because their experience in Indigenous engagement is limited, often that correspondence includes something problematic. The way they phrase the sentence is going to get themselves, get them into trouble or whatever it is. And because I now consider us allies and we're going through this journey together, I respond and say, by the way, you don't want to use that word and do the same thing I would have done at the event. And then something really interesting happens. And up until recently, I had. I had no words, I had no way to describe it. I do now. So what happens almost every time, which, like, blows my mind, I will send them the information saying, oh, by the way, don't use that word. And after a while, hours, days, whatever, I will get feedback. They won't respond to me and they'll say, okay, you know what? I thought about it and I think you're right. These are people that willingly admit they have no experience in indigenous engagement and very limited knowledge, and they had to think about it before they realized I was right. What I call these people the ego gatekeeper. They are so into their knowledge base that even when they're discussing a topic that they've already admitted they know nothing about, they still want to decide if it's factual, what. What. All that is doing is building a wall between me and their learning, and it means extra effort for me. I'm gonna knock that wall down. Luckily, I don't mind knocking down a wall or two, but could we not literally. In my seminars, I get my participants to write on a piece of paper the words my ego, and I get them to put it in the corner, literally get up from their chairs and go put the p the corner. Getting them to set their egos aside so they can hear me. Maybe I got to do that more often. Maybe I need to put a little that picture in my email signature block. I don't know what it is. I am not lying to you. I'm not going through the effort of trying to help you to deceive you. If I was, I wouldn't have been in business for 15 years. But if my knowledge in an area that I'm an expert in has to go through your ego gatekeeper before you believe me, it's going to take us a long time to build this bridge. That's work that has to be done on your side of the bridge. I hope that made sense. If you have questions, send me an email comment below. Have you ever run into an ego gatekeeper anyone in the DEI space? I'd be really interested in hearing until tomorrow. Take care. I love you. Bye. Bye.
