Sandi L Boucher (Red Thunderbolt, Seine River First Nation) delivers a motivational YouTube talk about overcoming oppression and internalized oppression using Indigenous-informed teachings and personal experience. She frames self-worth as an innate gift from birth, uses a suitcase metaphor to describe absorbed stereotypes, and offers practical tools (notably the “white guy test”) and environmental/self-care examples to help viewers reclaim their value and pursue their best selves. The video combines survivor testimony, concrete exercises, and a closing call-to-action.
Chapters
Okay? So don't get surprised if I get all passionate on you. Because these are my teachings. This is the stuff at the root of who I am. And this is what got me out of poverty and violence. I am a 10 year domestic abuse survivor. I have sold furniture to feed my kids. I know what it's like to hesitate before opening the door to your own home because you have no idea what's waiting on the other side. And I also know the teachings that help me to believe in myself. When the voice in my head and the voices of what seemed like everyone else told me I shouldn't. You should believe in yourself. I'm going to show you how. Let's talk about it. Bonjour. Hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan. A proud member of Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. And. And as promised, today I am speaking to the people that struggle under oppression or with internalized oppression. I got you. Been there, done that. I know how it feels. I am not judging you in any way. But I need you to understand that what they're saying is not the truth. And even that voice in your head is just repeating what they're saying. So I need you to start repeating other messages to yourself. First off, number one, I need you to accept and understand and own as your truth that your value was gifted to you on the day you were born. And that no one can take your value away unless you give them permission to. And trust me, as a domestic abuse survivor, I know what that's like. So I can prove this to you, by the way, that your value is still there. So I have a question for you to consider. I want you to think of some cute little munchkin, some three, four, five year old you love. Maybe it's the neighbor's kid. Maybe it's your kid or grandkid. Maybe it's your niece or nephew. Whoever it is, a little cute person on the street you live on. Whatever the case may be, if I were to ask you in dollars and cents how much that child is worth, what would you tell me? Don't you dare say 50 bucks. You're going to say priceless, right? Or the equivalent of. Next question. At what age does that stop all you parents out there? You know the answer. It never does. My children are now in their 30s. They are as valuable to me as they were on the day they born. That never changes. So the last question is, then why do you believe it did for you? It didn't it? Absolutely didn't. Your value is still there. And by the way, cuz, I know you're screaming that they don't see my value. So here's a quote I need you to remember. Their vision problem is not your value problem. Their vision problem is not your value problem. The fact that they can't see how you're all that in a bag of chips means they should get to the optometrist. But your value doesn't change if you walk into a store and see some very expensive outfit and you happen to think it's ugly. The price doesn't go down. Your value doesn't go down because someone else can't see it. So please stop giving them the power. Next. My mom used to talk about the fact. My mom was a master of metaphors, which is where I get it from. She used to say to imagine that on the day you were born, you're handed a suitcase, a nice looking suitcase, completely empty. But almost immediately it starts to fill up with what people say, what people do, what you see, what you hear, what you're taught. And as a child, we have no control over what gets put in our suitcase. But as an adult, you can choose to unpack that suitcase, you can look at the things you were taught, the stereotypes you were handed, and realize and say to yourself, you know what? That doesn't serve me anymore. I don't know why I ever believed that, but it doesn't make any sense to me and I'm gonna take it out of my suitcase to do the work I do. I had to unpack all of those stereotypes I was handed about indigenous people and about non indigenous people, because by the way, non indigenous viewers, if you didn't realize, we have as many stereotypes about you as you do about us and none of them help to build bridges. I believe in the people I work with because I got them out of my suitcase. Can we all agree that the Speedo doesn't look good on anyone? Let's take it out of the suitcase. What I need you to decide is who do you want to be? What is the best version of you? Kind, considerate, funny, alive, full of energy, or quiet and thoughtful and wise, whatever the case may be, not the insecure version version of you. If you were surprised, surrounded by all the love and support, who would you like to be? Now you notice I didn't say what. We're not talking about a position, we're not talking about a career. I'm talking about who you want to be. And then you need to take the time to figure out what you need to do to become the person you want to be. Guess what? If you want to be a positive light for other people, you got to stop hanging around with negative people because it does influence you. Now, I'm going to get in trouble for this one. Only because of the name. So forgive me for a second. I have to prove a point. I am in business. I have been in business. I'm in my 15th year now. But internalized oppression was something I battled for the longest time. When I first started telling people I was going to write a book, which by the way, was four books ago, I literally heard, why would anyone want to read something you wrote? That's lateral violence. That's oppression internalized. When I start believing it. So often when I would create a new keynote or create a new seminar and I'm about to put it on my website, that voice in my head would say, who's going to want to hire do this, Sandy? Like, come on, they're not going to want to pay for this. Why are you doing this? Why do you believe they're interested in what you do? That's the voice of internalized oppression, by the way. So maybe in the future you can recognize it. So I came up with what I affectionately call this, where I'm going to get crucified. But that's okay. I call it the white guy test. What I mean by that before don't hit send yet. I had to think of the most empowered person I knew at that time. And for me, it was that CEO running the company. He wasn't scared of anything. He believed in himself and he had all the support in the world. Always seemed to be a guy in a really expensive suit in the corner office. You know that guy? That's who I'm referring to as the white guy. Not everyone else, just that guy. So what I would do is I would ask myself, okay, you know what? If that guy had developed a new product and it had all the things in it that he knew his customers needed, would he hesitate to post it on his website? Now, most of the time, the answer was, no, he wouldn't. That's when I knew what I was hearing was internalized oppression. I ignored it and hit post. Sometimes the voice said, well, you know what? He probably wouldn't have rushed, and he probably really check it over and maybe get a second opinion. That's not oppression. That's just smart business. But I had done the test, and I knew what I had to do. Go ahead, feel Free to use that. Last but not least, and this is so huge and it may take you a while to be able to do this, make it a goal. You got to create a space where you can just be you. And you don't need to justify what that space looks like to anyone. Just make sure it's a space that invokes best you. Not the laziest you or the settling for peanuts you. The best version of you. For example, I have a really big office living space. Why I'm indigenous. I love open spaces. I don't like what I call elevator rooms. I don't like feeling confined. My office has a 14 foot ceiling. So does my apartment. I have tons of window because sunlight is everything to me. It's on the second, second floor so I can look over the city. That seems to inspire me to think like I'm flying like the eagles. It makes sense to me now. You may have thought that sounded absolutely ridiculous. And that's okay because you don't need to see the value in it. I need to know what fuels me. And it is this environment that allows me to do my work. So maybe you need to be near water. Maybe you need tons of space. Maybe you just want small, private. Just make sure that your answer is not because of the environment. It's what your spirit truly would want. If I could, I could grab my magic wand again, you know, I can. If I could wave a magic wand and you could have whatever you want, all expenses paid, what would it be and why? What does it feed in you? And if that's a good thing, find a way to feed it. I had a home that was loving and comfortable and welcoming long before I moved here. Because I knew I needed that. I knew that was the person I wanted to be. Not the person they said I would be or the person they said I could never be. Because, by the way, I passed my dreams five years ago. Why? Because those were the dreams of someone suffering from internalized oppression. It's okay. Do the best dreaming you can now. You can make them bigger in a couple of years. Just keep dreaming because that's another thing oppression tried to take away from us. I hope that made sense. I hope you enjoyed this week. Let me know what you think. Comment below. Don't forget to like subscribe. All that fun stuff. Comment in the community. I absolutely love that. And I'll see you next time. I love you. Take care. Bye bye.
