YouTube video by Sandi L Boucher (Red Thunderbolt, Loon clan, Seine River First Nation) presenting a seminar-style message called “The Evolution of the Marginalized.” The speaker outlines four stages marginalized people—especially Indigenous women—move through from feeling they “can't be me anywhere” to reaching the goal “I can be me anywhere.” She describes risks at each stage (isolation, risky inner circles, lateral violence), emphasizes healing from internalized oppression, and shares a personal milestone of feeling fully herself while dating a white man for the first time after surviving domestic abuse. The video urges Indigenous people to unpack stereotypes, work toward reconciliation through cross-cultural comfort, and prioritize internal acceptance over external validation.
Chapters
Foreign. Hello, everybody. It's Sandy Boucher here once again. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. And today I have a challenge for you. If you're an indigenous woman or a marginalized woman. Now, I'm going to get in trouble for this, but anyone who knows my personality, if I have to say something, I'm going to say it. Not to be disrespectful, not to be rude, but if it's going to help someone, then I'm going to say it. That's the freedom of the oppressed that we talked about yesterday. So here's the thing. When I do these blog posts, or I'm doing these videos for that matter, like, all my work is based on real life experience, something I've experienced with an audience or my own unpacking as I decolonize my life. And if you don't understand those terms, watch a couple older videos, you'll totally get it. But this one is fun. So for a while now, it's a brand new seminar of mine, it's called the Evolution of the Marginalized. And what I share with my audiences is that there is four stages someone goes through, a marginalized person goes through that takes them from totally oppressed to free. And I've done the steps. Of course, I didn't have them labeled at the time when I was doing it. I was just living my life. And I've watched many, many people go through the steps. And like, I'm 59 years old now. I've been doing this work for like 30 years. It took a while to really recognize, wow, they have these things in common. So, so just as a quick refresher here, stage one is I can't be me anywhere. And it's the people I'm often trying to reach, those marginalized people, those indigenous youth, young women, young men who understand that they're different and they don't fit in, but they feel like they can't be themselves anywhere. That's a really dangerous mindset. And there's ways to help people out of that. Stage two is I can only be me with my inner circle. So now you're seeing that incredibly shy student laughing out loud and goofing off with their circle of friends. So a little bit better. It can be incredibly dangerous, depending on the group, depending on the inner circle they've found. We know it's been documented that lost marginalized youth often find that acceptance in a gang and that's scary. That's group think. And that, that can be so devastating. Stage three, which is where most of the indigenous people I work with are, is I can be me among people that are like me. And these are the strong indigenous voices in indigenous communities or in indigenous agencies. This is also the stage where that lateral violence, those tearing apart of each other, the gossiping, the bullying, the ostracizing really takes hold and is really common because now everyone's trying daring to have an opinion, they're breaking away from the group think. And that's just. It's a trauma, it's a struggle and it's really hard on the people involved in happens to be worth it. Because stage four is I could be me anywhere. And anytime I say that, I think of my mom's words. And she always said, no matter where you stand or who you stand beside, you remember who you are. And that's not remember who you are because you're less than. That's remember who you are because you're a strong Anishinaabe or Anishinaabe Kwei. So for those people, this is going out especially to indigenous women in stage three. And you want to get to stage four, you have to have done some healing before you attempt this, trust me, because it could backfire bad. But in my little facetious, funny kind of way. Dare to date a white guy. And I know that's really super blunt and I don't mean to offend anyone, that's just my red thunderbolt woman bluntness. But it recently happened to me. Not that I intentionally set out to date a white guy. I just, he just happened to be Caucasian. It was a nice guy. I date nice guys. But for the first time. And did you hear my words? I'm 59 years old for the first time. At one point we were standing together in a sub shop getting subs for dinner and I was goofing around with him. And in that moment I realized I was being me because I am one of those women. Even though my friends would find it hard to believe that because I'm known for being outgoing and confident that I instantly would become subservient around white men. I'm a 10 year domestic abuse survivor at the hands of a white male. So. So it took a lot of healing and a lot of unpacking to get past that. But it was such. I felt like I want a medal. It was just such. It was a graduation ceremony that I was no longer scared, I was no longer nervous and I no longer felt any internal pressure. Internal. I'm not saying anyone told me in my past, the guys that I dated, that I had to be less than. That is not the case. I did this to me, internalized oppression. But it was so freaking amazing to be goofing around with him like I would one of my friends or my family members or my kids. I was just being me. And it felt amazing. I was me everywhere. So think about that. Unpack that. And I know a lot of indigenous people out there are nowhere near that stage. They stick religiously to their own. You need to unpack that. Reconciliation is not going to happen if we're never comfortable talking to people that are different. And if we have stereotypes about them, those stereotypes are just as devastating as the stereotypes they have about us. Need to unpack that. So there you go, my friend. I am hoping and praying and working every single day to try to get all indigenous people to feel that they can be themselves everywhere. And that is not based on the acceptance of others. Remember, at no time in this little story did I tell you what his reaction to me being me was, because it wasn't relevant. We don't need external validation or acceptance. We need the internal acceptance first. The understanding, the belief, the reality, the realization that we actually can be us anywhere we stand. That's the goal. Until tomorrow. Take care. I love you. Bye. Bye.
