Sandi L Boucher shares her mother's teaching that home should be a safe, restorative space. She walks through four questions to audit your sanctuary: do you sigh with relief when you enter, feel supported there, have things you love, and have places to rest. Score each out of 25 for your home-sanctuary total.
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Trying something a little bit different for this video. Welcome to my living room. This is where I chill at the end of the day. This is my comfy space. This is my private, I'm not working space. So I guess I'm violating that rule right now. But I wanted to do this video here because if there's one thing my mom used to always tell me is that it was my job to quote, unquote, the build sanctuary. That, yes, it's incredibly sexist. My mom was born in 1927, so forgive me for a second, but she believed that as the woman who established the home, it was my job to set up a safe space for my children and my partner to come home to a place where they could relax. Where you could lock the door and shut up the phone and lock the world away. A place where you could recharge, reset, rejuvenate. Now, of course, nowadays I would say that's anybody's job that we know as indigenous people that safe spaces are essential. You cannot succeed without being in a safe space because you can't grow, you can't learn if you're worried about being in attacked in whatever way. So my home is sanctuary. And today I thought I'd try something a little bit different and invite you to join me in a home audit. I have four questions I want to ask you and you can rate your own home. Now, this isn't about beating yourself up. If your home doesn't meet the standards you wish for, it becomes an action plan. If you don't have what you want, you now know what you need to do. So let's talk about it. Hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. And as I mentioned, today, I'm coming to you from my living room. The sun is shining. I'm gonna have a hard time getting my butt off this couch. And I'm wondering how many of the cats are going to join me while I'm here. So let's get right into it. As I said, I wanted you invite you to do a home audit today. And yes, I have my handy dandy index card here. So the first question, we're going to evaluate your home based on four questions. The first one, this is really simple. This is a yes or no. Do you sigh when you walk in the door? Do you sigh when you walk in the door? Do you feel like I made it back. I'm safe now. I can Put down the day. You can set down the briefcase, you can take off the work boots, you can take off the work clothes for the women. You can take them off. You know what I'm talking about. You're home, you're safe. You did it. So do you sigh when you walk in the front door? Second question. Wherever your home is, whether you share it with people or you're alone, do you feel supported there? Now when I talk about coming home after a stressful day and feeling supported, I always think of the partner I had when I lived in southern Ontario. At that time, I had teenagers or young adults in my life. I was working a very stressful, high paid job. I had the 45 minute commute to come home. The standard big city story. And some days I knew by the time I walked in the front door that I had nothing left to give. I had nothing to give my partner. I had nothing to give my son who was living with us. I get maybe my partner's children were there. We had them every second week. It was just, I knew I had nothing to give and then I needed to lean on him. So on those days, and this was not planned, this just became something we did. And he always met me at the front door. I always met him at the front door. I think if your partner is important to you, that's something you do. You may agree or disagree with that, but I think that's just showing you appreciate them and that you're happy they're home. So I would walk in the door. Ken would come walking towards the door. And on these really hard days, I would literally just walk into his arms, like just wrap myself around his body. And he'd put his arms around me and into his ear I would whisper, make the world go away. Make the world go away. Ken knew what that meant. Ken knew. Don't ask me what I want for dinner because it's one too many decisions for me to make. Don't ask me what I wanted to do tonight because I have no idea. I had nothing left in that second. Often while he was still holding me in his arms, he'd be like, guys, you know what, why don't you go play outside? If his kids were there, or Keith, you know what, bring me my wallet. We're gonna order some takeout food for dinner. Or he would just take over. He would know I could care two beans if we had hot dogs for dinner as long as I didn't need to make the decision. And he knew that it worked amazing. So to me, that always Made me feel supported. Now, of course, nowadays I live alone. Do I feel supported? I have my kitty cats. I can sit on this couch in the evening and a signal goes off to them to come snuggle with me. I know I have a fridge full of good food, this amazing comfy sofa to. To curl up on. I have my TV to watch my favorite YouTube channel, YouTube videos. Yes, I feel supported here because I have everything here I need. So do you feel supported in your home? The third question, does your home contain things you love? Every now and then, you know, watching some TV show, you see those very sterile environments. And I guess if that's your thing, that's your thing. That's not me. My home is filled with. Well, for one, because of my career, I have these, the most amazing speakers gifts all over my home, gifts from my children, gifts from events, gifts from friends over the years. I guess it helps that I've been around for 60 years too. But everywhere I look, not only is there some beautiful item, but the memories of the person who gave it to me. And that or the event I was at, the amazing people I got to to meet and. And speak. Flooded with amazing memories. So, yes, my house is most definitely filled with things I love, including my mom's star blanket on my bed that I snuggle up with every night. So yes, 100% on that one. And last but not least, does your home offer you one or more places to rest? Now I have. I love this. Now, you know, I just moved in here in third week in June, so. Oh, here comes the cat. But I have the most amazing backyard to rely recline in. And I got a fire pit and a deck and bought the best lawn chairs ever. The reclining kind. Loungers, I guess. I have this. It's. I live alone. I have a sectional. I don't even need to choose where I want to sit. Every part of this sectional is comfy. And then years ago, I spent the money and I have the most amazing bed. I swear, my entire body size when I lay down. All those years of people saying, invest in a mattress. They're really expensive, but they're worth it. They're right. They're 100% right. So there you have the four questions. What were they? Do you sigh when you walk in the front door? Do you feel supported there? Does it contain things you love and does it offer you a place to rest? How did you do? If you scored each one out of 25, you would have a score out of 100. My home, 100 across the board if yours isn't. Now you know what you need? Maybe put a little more love into it. Make it a little more cozy, comfy. Make feel more supported there. Whatever you need. Your home is your home. Make it sanctuary until tomorrow. I love you. Take care. Bye bye.
