Honouring Dad on Remembrance Day

Hello, you absolutely amazing person, you. It's Sandy Boucher here once again. And today is Remembrance Day. And like so many people out there, we're thinking of the veterans today, the people who fought for the things we believe in. Now for me, my dad was a World War II veteran. And there is no way I could go through November 11, Remembrance Day without thinking of him. So today I wanted to honor my dad and his memory because I don't talk about him as often as I do my mom. So today I wanted to share some of my most cherished memories of time with my dad. So let's talk about it. Bonjour. Hi everybody. My name is Sandy Bouget. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. And I am the incredibly proud daughter of Leo Ernest Boucher, who was born June 11, 1913 in the middle of World War I and went on to fight in World War II. I lost my dad on July 6, 1981. But his memories stay with me as alive as the day they happened. And I wanted to share a few of those with you today. Today. Now one of my. Now you have to realize I am daddy's little girl. Like even though my d. My dad had daughters from a previous relationship in the family I grew up in, I was the only girl and I was the apple of my dad's eye. In fact, me and my brothers knew that if we wanted to do something, if we asked my mom there maybe 50, 50 chance depending on what it was. But if we asked dad like if we really wanted to do something, my brothers would send me to ask dad because sometimes we'd get a yes probably followed by just don't tell your mom. Now one of my earliest memories of my dad, I had to be like three, four years old. And like so many men in that time period, my dad had a lazy Boy chair in his living room. And I know we joke around about how often my mom would rearrange furniture and funny, I do that now and so does my daughter. But no matter how my mom rearranges the living room, Dad's chair always had the best view of the tv. And that says a lot about my parents relationship. My mom, my dad would kill for my mom and my mom adored my dad. So there's just so many amazing memories I have of their love and in fact I want to write one down cuz I'm going to tell you about it because it's such a sweet story and I haven't told it to many people, but as far as my earliest memories of my dad, like I said, I was like three or four and he would sit in that Lazy Boy chair and he would let me do his hair. Now I giggle because if you had known my dad didn't have a lot of hair, had one of those, the hair was brushed straight back, combed, not brushed, combed straight back. And there was probably just a few strands going back on the top until it got to where his hair was. But that man had the patience of Job because he would let me put my barrettes in it and little elastics and make ponytails and whatever. And as long as I wanted to, I would perch myself on the back of his Lazy Boy chair and he would let me do his hair as long as I wanted to. And it is definitely one of my most cherished memories. Another one that also involves that Lazy Boy chair involves my mom as well. Because my parents didn't have a lot of money, they were not social butterflies. Everything they had went to us, the children and running the home. But every now and then dad would take mom out and out. Usually meant to a mill function because they both worked at the local sawmill or my dad did and then in later years my mom did or I went meant going for a beer at the local tavern because there was literally nothing else in town. I come from a small northern Ontario town of 400 people. The options were limited. But I can remember dad would be sitting in that Lazy Boy waiting as my mom got ready. And every now and then I would sneak in and watch my mom brush her hair, pick out her outfit or her shoes, whatever the case may be. But before she was done, I always deliberately made a point of racing out to be with my dad. And I would sit on the floor by his feet and. And wait for my mom to come out. And often when I've shared that story in the past, people assume that I am waiting to see what mom looked like. And that wasn't it at all. What I was waiting for was to see the look on dad's face when mom came walking out. Because that expression meant everything to me. That was my reassurance and my proof of their undying love. Now the other example, there are so many examples of their love, but one another one that really stands out for me. And now we're like fast forwarding to the teen years and this is the story I had thought of earlier. My dad was old school and. And money was tight. Raising kids is taking a vow of Poverty then or now. And I can remember distinctly that on payday, my dad handed his paycheck to my mom, and they would go to the bank. Everything was done in cash back then. And my dad would take, like. There was two things he got out of every paycheck. And this was not because my mom didn't allow him to. This is the way dad wanted it. He would take, like, 20 bucks, just fun money. And she would get him his case of 24 bottles of Canadian beer. And that lasted my dad, 24 days because he would have that one beer after work, maybe a couple on a hot Saturday. But all he would ever take is that 20 bucks. And maybe every now and then, he buy himself a pack of gum or whatever the case may be. And I can remember in this particular story, dad was now retired. He was at home. My brothers and I went to school in the neighboring town. So we would arrive back in our small town via the school bus. And the school bus would arrive in the center of the town around the same time as my mom would get off work. So often we'd all meet up probably outside the local grocery store, and we would go home together. So often all of us arrived at the same time to meet dad at home. And on this particular day, we walked in the door, and dad had a grin on his face that could only be described as, he's up to something. And if you've ever known a Gemini and seen that grin, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. He was most definitely up to something. He was proud of himself for something, and was like, okay, what is going on? And nothing seemed out of place. And mom looked just as confused as we were. And then she saw it, and then we saw it. Sitting on the record player in the living room was a stuffed bear, a brown bear. And wrapped in its arms was a smaller brown bear. And as dad explained it, that was him and Mom. And he bought her this because he just thought he just wanted to show her how much he loved her and that these bears represented that. And my mom was incredibly touched and gave him a big hug. And my parents were always lovey, so that wasn't a surprise. But I can remember, because now I would have been about 15, 16 years old. I can remember standing there, and the only thing that went through my mind was, he only gets 20 bucks. He only gets 20 bucks out of every paycheck. Like, how much of his money did he spend to buy her the bear? Did he have to save up to buy her the bear? And he chose to, like I said, yet another example of my parents love. Then I became a teenager and then, you know, my personality. What kind of teenager do you think I was? Do not answer that question. You just keep that to yourself. But yeah, we definitely. I was convinced that my dad remembered dinosaurs and yep that, that he had dragged my mom home by her hair to his cave. And I would tell him that on a regular basis. He didn't appreciate it. And one of the ongoing arguments that we had, and there were several, involved the length of my shorts, which dad I'm certain would have appreciated if my shorts went to my knees. For the women, I'm 60 years old, so for the women in and around my age group, maybe you can relate to this. In my mind, if I could feel my shorts touching my leg, they were too long. That gives you an indication of how short my shorts were. And I can literally remember my dad literally, not figuratively, literally chasing me around the kitchen table one day because he was bound and determined I wasn't going to wear leave the house until I changed out of the shorts I was wearing. And I was determined that I wasn't changing. And it like grade B movie, it got ridiculous. The last story I wanted to tell you is actually featured in my first book and it is one of my most cherished memories of my dad. So now I'm 17 and I'm in grade 11. Dad's retired, mom's working at the sawmill, my brother, well, I guess no, I'm younger than that. Yes, because my brother is still in high school and he's three years older than me. So I would have been grade 9, grade 10. Anyways, the point was on this particular day it was exam time. So it's not like you're going to school every single day you're going to school. If you have an exam that day, it may be for a half day, whatever the case. Case may be. As it turned out, on this given day everyone, mom had to go to work, my brothers had exams, I had nothing scheduled and my dad was at home retired. So long story short, it meant that dad and I were going to be alone for the entire day. Probably arguing, not proud of it. But that was that period of time where him and I were not seeing eye to eye on anything. And it's embarrassing for me to this day to know that my mom actually considered taking a sick day. And my mom would never consider doing that because she knew that was just not her work ethic. She would never do that. And she knew we needed the Money. And she wouldn't. My mom was the most honest person you could ever meet. But she considered taking a day off so that we wouldn't kill each other. And when she shared that, that she was considering this, even I, in my cocky teenagers days was like, okay, mom. No, like, like, we're good. We'll figure it out. It's okay. My mom was terrified that either we would kill each other, destroy her home, or both. And I'm not saying that the possibilities weren't there. So the day came and everyone scattered off to where they were going. And I can remember waking up and before I could hear dad singing in the kitchen, humming in the kitchen, not singing, humming. He was always humming. Not gonna make myself cry. He was humming in the kitchen, making breakfast for me. And I remember promising to myself, I made a promise to myself that today I was going to shut up. That if my dad wanted to tell me a story, even if I'd heard it five million times, I was just going to listen. And if he wanted to tell me how to do something, instead of arguing with him or saying, I know I would just listen. That I would keep the promise to my mom and not fight with my dad. So as the book says, as the story of my book says, we ended up having the most amazing day. Because I chose to shut up. I remembered my dad was funny. It became so obvious hearing his stories, just how much he loved my mom and how much he loved us and how proud of us he was. And the reason why I find that so upsetting is because like, two years later, he was gone. I was only 17 when my dad passed away. I was in grade 11. And that's why that day is such a cherished memory to me. Because my dad had his shortcomings. My dad was human. But nobody loved more than my dad. My dad loved 110%. Like he would have killed for mom or for us. And I guess maybe that's where I learned it. I always tell my audiences that my dad believed I could do anything. My dad believed I could walk on water. So I believed it. My dad believed I was so smart I'd be get straight A's. And I did. And my dad believed I'd be prime Minister one day. And now I just tell my audiences I don't wanna. But on this day is, you know, I have his birthday and I have the anniversary of his passing. But this is the day I always take John or him. Because dad going off and fighting the war is what my dad would do. He would fight for what he believed in and fight for the people he loved. And today, that is who we are honoring. Whether you believed in the conflict or not, the soldiers that went were not the ones that made the decision to fight. They just chose to defend what we honor and believe in. So please join me today in honoring all the veterans, including my dad. Until tomorrow. I love you. Take care. Bye bye.