Honouring Our Quiet Elders

Still got a froggy in my throat trying to do better. Yesterday we talked about the icky. We talked about the city of Thunder Bay and how silence is acceptance and how there's some crap happening here that needs to be shut down. People bringing their ugly here. We got enough ugly of our own that needs to get kicked out. I wanted to go to the other side of the feather now and talk about something that fascinates me and makes me smile and just makes me so thankful to be alive. I'm talking about our elders, specifically indigenous elders in this case, and especially the quiet ones. Let's talk about it. Bonjour. Hi, everybody. My name is Andy Boucher with a frog in my throat. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River first nation in Treaty 3 territory in Northern Ontario. And today I wanted to talk about the elders, specifically the quiet ones, because to me, in so many cases, I don't want to make this a stereotype. So. So I'm not saying in all cases, but in so many cases, those quiet elders that often just sitting at the back of a room, smiling or giggling, it has been my experience that those people are so often the epitome of wisdom. So I just wanted to do a little refresher course here on medicine wheel teachings. And I'll put an image up of the medicine wheel. So starts in the east, where the day starts. So the first stage are the babies. And by the way, every single one of these stages are sacred and have valuable teachings to share. We can learn from every single stage, the babies, the stage of rapid growth, of intense learning, where we master huge things like walking and talking. And just the. The growth in that, that stage is amazing. And so often we're fascinated by the babies, but then we quickly start judging the toddlers because they don't conform. We need to watch the toddlers and the babies and learn from them. So we have the babies, the infant stage, and then it goes into the youth stage. And the youth stage is another stage of learning, but it's higher learning now. This is often where the activists are born. The youth are starting to learn about the world and excuse the expression, but they're often. Their response is, wtf? What in the world's going on? Why are you allowing this to happen? Why are we keep doing this? Just the passion of that stage. And often it is silenced, which is ridiculous. Those are our warriors, and they should be taught how to express their message, how to use their voice, how to paint signs, how to rebel against what doesn't work for them in a healthy way, because if they don't, they turn that anger and that frustration with the world inner inside towards themselves, and that's where it gets dangerous. So baby stage, youth stage are learning stages. And then we go into the adult stage. And in my humble opinion, the adult stage is an action stage. I know many adults that are still learning, and I wonder if they're nervous of moving into their adult stage, because in the adult stage, you not have to start sharing your truth. You have to start doing things. You have to actually put action into play. You have to act on all you have learned to make the changes that are needed. And then, of course, last but not least, the elder stage. These are the people that are now passing on their wisdom, that are now looking to others, still learning, still growing, but they have the benefit of having done the full journey. And in many indigenous cultures, Anishinaabe, for sure, we value our elders. It's sad to see what happens to elders in mainstream that just disregarded. You're not useful anymore. You're not that little worker bee, which is so incredibly sad because we can learn so much from the elders. And most elders. Excuse me. Excuse me. Now, some elders, you can tell the new elders, that's the way I'm going to put it. If you imagine they're on that line between adult and elder, because ego is still driving the bus and they're talking about all they know and all, you know, chefs puffed out. Beware. The most amazing and powerful elders are incredibly humble. They are the ones sitting at the back of the room. They are the ones often smile, smiling. They may nod. They may look at each other with that knowing grin. They often do not say anything. And here is why. If you're. They're asked directly in my nation, if they were offered tobacco, not all the nations use tobacco, but if they were asked to share a teaching, the elders know without a doubt that if they give us to the ends, the answers to a problem, and we believe in their wisdom and their knowledge, and they don't need us to believe in them. They're good, they've done their journey. But they know if they help us figure out our own answers, then we start to believe in ourselves. And that is what is needed to make the changes that need to happen. So elders, the. The most powerful elders are not the ones that give you questions. They give you answers to consider. They give you tests to perform so you can figure out your own answers. So beware the elders that talk the big game because that's still the ego trip. Like I said, the most amazing elders are so quiet. Watch for them. Observe what they do. They are listening. They. They are there. If you come to them with humility and do the work that they ask you to do, they are so powerful. And I just get a kick out of their smiles, their knowing smiles. The story that always comes to my mind was when I wrote my first book, which you can't see. Yes, you can. It's right here. Honorary Indian. In our culture, we are taught to go deep, that when you hear something, you need to contemplate it, you need to think about it. What was the deeper meaning when the person said that? Where did that come from? Were they in pain? Were they. Do they have some kind of, you know, they're doing it for their own purpose or, you know, what were they alluding to? What did they want us to find? It's not a negative. It's a positive. And I noticed when my first book came out, which is a huge book about healing, I wrote it just after I lost my mom. I was so desperately trying to write down her teachings and everything that she had shared with me because I was scared stiff I was going to forget them. And because of that, that book has become a bestseller. It resonates with people that are hurting. It resonates with people that are grieving. But when it first came out, I was hearing comments like, you know, geez, the stories in there are so nice. It's a daily motivational guide, so there's a little story for every single day. And the idea is you read it and then you sit with it and you think about it and you come to find the lesson that you needed to hear. And it may be totally different from the lesson that your partner takes from the reading or your best friend, but you will find the answers you need if you take the time. And that wasn't happening. People were just reading it at that mainstream, superficial level. Just read the manual, do what it says. No reflection, no growth. And I realized they were missing so much. So I went to a beloved elder, Freda McDonald, loved by so, so many. I just loved the way her face lit up and she would start laughing every time she saw me. She was just. There was so much more life than could be contained in that tiny little body. And I offered her tobacco. And I explained to her, when I just explained to you, and I said, like, they are missing so much. They're not going deep. They don't understand. I don't know what to do because that book could help them so much more if they just took the time to go deep. And in true elder style, she grinned, she giggled a little bit, looked at me and said, I guess you're gonna have to teach them. Be careful when you ask the alters a question. It's going to involve some work to get the answer. And I've been trying to do that ever since. And Frida has gone on to Spirit World now, but she lives on in us, as do all of our amazing elders. So watch for the quiet ones. Watch for the ones sitting at the back room just nodding and smiling. Don't write them off, because that's where the wisdom resides. And if you build trust with them, you might actually be able to benefit for it. Not because you can go off and brag about it, because if they sense ego in you, they're going to tell you it's a really sunny day, and that's about it. But if you are indigenous and these are your elders, and you care for them, and quietly, patiently, just listen, you can learn so absolutely much from the elders, from the babies, from the youth, and from the adults. Whatever stage you're at, honor who you are, what stage you're at, while honoring the other stages as well. I just had to share about our amazing elders because I just cannot. Well, I can't imagine life without them because I wouldn't be able to do my life without them. And I am totally okay with acknowledging that until tomorrow. I love you. Take care. Bye. Bye.