Sandi L. Boucher explains the third principle of personal power: you're not here to prove yourself to anyone, but to live up to who you truly are. She shows how to teach this to people you love by asking reflective questions like "What do you think?" to build confidence and shut down shame.
Chapters
Foreign. Hi, everybody. Once again, I'm Sandy Boucher and I'm here with this week's message concerning the third principle of personal power. But before I say another word, I gotta give you a little warning here. In case you don't remember, I share a home with an insane four month old kitten who seems really hyper today. So if you see him whipping by in the background, he's okay, he's fine. He's just being a kitten. Now, on to this week's message. For the last month, we've been talking about the third principle of personal power, which says you are not here to prove yourself to anyone else. You are here to live up to who you truly are. Now, the last video of each month, even though this month has an extra one. Normally what I do is, that's when I focus on how do you pass this teaching on to others? If you have a child or a grandchild, your partner, someone you love that you want to empower, someone that you would love, if they internalize this teaching, how can you help them do that? Well, I think I've already mentioned that the most empowering question you can ever ask is what do you think? And that's what I'm going to suggest you do with this video. When someone, or with this principle, I should say when someone comes to you and says, you know, I did something, you're not going to be very proud of me. And they share with you whatever they did or didn't do, thank them for sharing it with you. But instead finish it off with saying, okay, instead of focusing on what I think, what do you think of what you did? How does it make you feel that you did that? By reinforcing this. By asking this question, you're reinforcing for the person you're talking to that what matters is their opinion of themselves. And be very careful. If they go to that shame story. If instead of saying they did something bad, they start saying I'm bad, shut that down quickly, remind them that they are a beautiful human being on a journey that they're learning and that human beings make mistakes. It doesn't make them bad, it just makes them human. So set that down right away, but ask them, okay, if they feel disappointed in themselves. Yeah. And that sucks. It's horrible to feel that way. So how about in the future, what are you going to do next time that would be different so that you don't end up feeling bad about yourself? As I've shared in previous videos, my mom was a master of helping me to figure out my problems on my own. She was there to support me. I never felt abandoned. She didn't just say, go figure it out, but she walked me through the process and there was a reason for it. She knew that if she gave me the answer that it would increase my belief in her and her wisdom. But if she asked me questions, what do you think? What are you gonna do differently next time? How do you feel about what happened? If she helped me figure it out for myself, it increased my belief in my wisdom. That's where your self esteem comes from. That's where your confidence comes from. Comes from. So if you love someone, please take that extra step and help them build their self esteem and their confidence. Even if no one helped you so that 15 years from now they're not having to watch the same videos that you had to watch just so you could feel better about yourself. So there you have it. Once again, this month's principle. You are not here to prove yourself to anyone else. You are here to live up to who you truly are. And you are an awesome human being. Until next week. I have a special video for you next week because we're still going to be in the month of March. There's actually five Mondays in this month. So I have a special question to ask you next week. Don't forget to tune in. I love you. Talk to you soon. Bye bye.
