Sandi L Boucher explains how to teach others how to treat you by first modeling self-respect and kindness toward yourself. She walks through examples like setting boundaries with a boss and shows how the treatment you give yourself signals what you'll accept from others.
Chapters
Foreign. Hi, everybody. Once again, it's Sandy Boucher. I'm Red and Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine river, first nation in Northern Ontario. And I'm here to expand on principle number five, because it's the month of May, and then this one is going to make a difference for you. So in case you forget what it is, here is a reminder. Teach others how to treat you. If you want them to be kind to you, be kind to you. If you want them to respect you, respect you, show them how. Now, this is going to be one of those times where you're gonna wish you were on my email list, because I know some people watch this on Shaw Spotlight, some people are watching it on YouTube. But for the people on my email list, you get the video and the backup support. And this one has a worksheet to go along with it. Because to adopt this principle, you need to do some thinking first. So we're talking about teaching other people how to treat you. So first off, you have to decide how you want them to treat you. So what? The easiest way to do that or the easiest way I found to do it when I went through this process was to think of the people involved. So say, for example, my daughter. If, say, for example, this is totally not true, by the way, but say my daughter was being disrespectful. She would never, ever do that. She's not that type of person. But say that was the case. So I would write down, I want my daughter to be more respectful to me. Maybe I want my boss to be more understanding. Maybe I want my partner in to be more patient, whatever the case may be. So I want you to take the time, list the people in your life and what you would like from them. Now's the important part. This is where the work comes in. Because remember this, teaching is all about teaching others how to treat you. If you're in total victim mentality, if you're just sitting there waiting for them to figure it out, that's not how it works. You have to teach them how to treat you. So say, for example, you named someone and you want them to be kinder to you. That's what you identified in the next step. And again, if you use this worksheet, it would be in the next column. You identify what you can do, which is very empowering, what you can do to show them how to be kind to you. And the answer is, you got to write down some way that you can be kind to you. So if I wanted to teach my children to be kinder to me. One of the things I might write down is they're going to hear me say out loud to myself, okay, Sandy, you know what? Getting a little exhausted. You've done enough for today. Time to put this down. That's me being kind to me. Or, you know, I make the mistake of calling myself a nasty name. Calling myself stupid as an example. I would never do that, by the way. I used to do that. Not anymore. But say my kids overhear me calling myself stupid. What they would have to hear next is, is, okay, whoa. No, I'm not stupid. I was just rushing. So now I'm gonna take my time. That's being kind to me. And I'm teaching them how to because they're gonna overhear it. That's empowerment. And again, I get the impression there's probably people watching this totally disappointed because they just wish those other people would change their behavior. That's not what this principle is. This is teach them how to treat you. If I want my boss to respect my boundaries, that I can't work 247 because I have a family, that he needs to see me respecting my boundaries by seeing me say no when someone says, can you work Friday night? Well, actually, no, I can't because that's family night with my family. We do movies and we have order in takeout. And it's a special time. So I can't I teach others to respect my boundaries by respecting my boundaries. Now it is so much easier to just sit there and wish other people would treat you better. It's just not going to get you anywhere. It's going to get you frustrated and it's not going to get you the treatment that you deserve. And it's very disempowering just to sit around hoping other people figure it out. I'm all about empowering you so you can have the life you want. You can be treated the way you want. And that's going to take you teaching other people how to treat you, because that's principle number five. And here it is one more time. Teach others how to treat you. If you want them to be kind to you, be kind to you. If you want them to respect you, respect you, show them how. One more time. I encourage you to go to my website, sandybouchet.com sign up. It's get on my list. It's right up at the top. Click on that sign up to get on my email list. And then in the future, you're going to get these videos and the worksheets and the backup information, maybe even a little story or two. And in fact, this week there's a bonus video I'm gonna throw in. I just remembered I did that until next week. I love you. Be kind to you, my friend. Show them how I love you. Talk to you soon. Bye. Bye. It.
