It's Valentine's Day! (Aren't YOU Excited!?)

Today is Wednesday. Today is the 14th day of February. Today is Hump Day. Today is Valentine's Day. If that last one bothered you, we need to talk about that. And yes, this does relate to Indigenous Canadian reconciliation. If you're not sure how, watch the Paint the picture segment at the end of this video. But first, we got to talk about Valentine's Day. So let's talk about it. Hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River first nation in Treaty 3 territory in Northern Ontario. And just for the record, I am neither a Pretendian or a Descendian. I am Anishinaabe Kwe. I am, in the eyes of the Canadian government, status Indian. I am a proud member of a First Nation. I belong to Treaty 3, and I am here to talk about all things Indigenous Canadian reconciliation. So let's talk about Valentine's Day because I don't have a significant other right now. I have been single on a few Valentine's Day in my near 60 laps. Around this planet or around the sun, I should say. And there was a time, not gonna lie, that that would bug me. And I know you may want to deny it, but I know there's women out there, that it's gonna bother them to be single. Today we are seeing this whole Galent getting together and celebrating each other, because again, they don't want to feel bad. We're going to talk about that now. I was lucky for many years, especially when I first became a single mom. I was working full time. My kids were like two and four. It was a hard time. And I remember the first time it happened, I was at work was Valentine's Day. I was trying to ignore that fact. I was not succeeding. And suddenly there was a delivery for me at my office door. Someone was sending me something from the florist shop on Valentine's Day. I had no idea who was doing this. There was no potential person to be doing this, if you get my drift. I opened it up. I'll never forget that first gift. It was like the. The. Like a goldfish bowl, like the round globe. And there was like a red rose floating in this water. And it was just simplistic and beautiful and perfect. And I looked at the card, which made it even more perfect because it was from my eldest brother who happened to work upstairs in the same building as me. And he just. It just said, I wanted you to remember your love today. That's. That's sweet. That's amazing. That's Something we should do. So. But why I wanted to talk about this today. I am really, really hoping with everything in me that you are one of those people that could care two beans about today. And I'm not talking about the. This is a commercial holiday, and it's just a way to get us to spend our money. If you're in a relationship and you're not getting something super sweet and cute for your partner today, come on. What is wrong with the day that celebrates love? I don't care how you celebrate it. Make your partner breakfast in bed. Make them their favorite dinner. I'm not saying you have to spend money. Why are you not celebrating your love every single day? And especially on this day? No, none of those negative Nellies. That's not what I'm talking about. What I am talking about is I really, really hope, and I'm talking to you now. I really, really hope that whatever age or stage of your life journey you're at, that you are not still looking for validation in the hands of someone else. I hope you realize how amazing you are, even if no one else is telling you that. I hope you realize how valuable you are, how needed you are, how much you would be missed by so many if you were not here. The impact you have had on people, the people that look up to you, the people that want to be you. Because I guarantee you, those people exist now. But being Anishinaabe or Anishinaabe Kwei in Canada, being indigenous in Canada, being an Indigenous female in Canada, being marginalized or racialized in Canada, we grow up looking for validation from other people. We forget that the only validation we need is from ourselves. And in my opinion, Creator, Creator made you. You are amazing. Like every other creation, Creator made. And because someone else can't see it, that's their vision problem, not your value problem. So today. Today should be Wednesday. Today should be the 14th day of February. Today should be a day that you love you. And if you want to go up, buy yourself a cute little flower, you just go right ahead and do that. So that's how this ties into reconciliation. Let me put up my cute little pink paintbrush thingy here. That's how this ties into reconciliation. Because as Indigenous people, I see way too many Indigenous people fighting for other people to see us as valuable. Oh, boy. Can I hear my mom right now saying, we teach other people how to treat us? You want other people to treat you like you're valuable? Treat yourself like you're valuable. Show them how you want them to speak to you. With respect. Speak to yourself with respect. Treat yourself with respect. Show them how to do it. They will mimic you. You come first. You have the power to fix this. So I need you to do that. And if you are one of those people that are still looking for validation in the hands of others, well, I have some tips and tricks and tools for you because I may be a very confident person now. Not arrogant. I'm not better than anyone else. I just know how amazing I am. And I know you're amazing too. And it's an awesome place to be. For years I was not here. I'm a 10 year domestic abuse survivor, remember? I know totally what it's like to have your value in the hands of someone else and how much power that gives them and how devastating your life can become when your value is dictated by someone else. But guess what? No one can take your power or value away unless you give them the power to. So take that power back. Now. What do I want you to do if you don't realize how amazing you are? The first thing. And you can have fun with this. Pour yourself a coffee or a tea or you know, your favorite soft drink or nice glass of water, healthy water, whatever the case may be. Sit down with a pen and paper and list off all the things you have accomplished in your life journey so far. Not sure where to start. I'm pretty sure you can talk. You have mastered whatever language is your first language, maybe even a second or third. Write that down. If you have three languages, write that down and put a big fat star beside it because that's amazing. You can walk. You know how to dress yourself. You probably know how to make toast or cereal or maybe even some fancier cooking than that. List everything. Keep going. Get silly. Get goofy. List everything. Can you tell a good joke? Are you a good friend? Do you know how to write a letter? Do you know how to type? Do you know how to turn on a computer? Do you know how to use a computer? Do you know how to put your makeup on? Do you know how to blow dry your hair? Do you know how to encourage a friend? Those are all things you have learned and accomplished. Make the list. Keep going. Have fun with it. This could take all day. You start. Get up. Go make your lunch. Realize you know how to make your lunch. Add it to the list. Maybe put the list on your phone so you can keep it with you. Have fun. I want to see you know what? I want to know how many you come up with. You can email me or put. Better yet, comment on this video. This could be fun. I want to see like, I want to see big numbers, like in the hundreds at least, if not over a thousand. How many things have you accomplished? Another one I actually just recently learned and I was like, holy moly, is that is so true. You have to get on top of and make sure you do not break promises with yourself. If you think to yourself, today I'm going to get that housework done, then today you get that housework done or change it to I'm trying to get the housework done today. Understand the difference because every single time you let you down, your confidence goes down. So if you're gonna make the promise to yourself, even offhanded, either change it to I'm gonna try or make sure to do it. And by the way, if you make sure to do it, you feel so much better. So go with that one. In line with that. The third thing is you really have to start building your self awareness, which means you need to ask yourself as often as you can, what do I think of this? What do I think of this meal? Meh. 5 out of 10, 8 out of 10. What do I think of this TV show? Like, do I really want to be watching this? What do I think of this outfit? Like, you know what, it fits me pretty good or I hate it. I should take it out of my closet and donate it makes me feel crappy every time I wear it. What do you think? I'm not saying you have to share that with anyone, but you need to start realizing what you like and what you don't like. Not what you're expected to like, not what you're supposed to like, but what you actually like. Self awareness. Then the biggie, you're going to start treating yourself like you love yourself. You're going to say kind things to yourself. You're going to do things that make you happy. You're going to play your favorite music, you're going to watch your favorite TV shows. You're going to make sure to have a treat that you love every now and then. Not so much that it destroys your health because that would not be loving you, but you're going to be kind to you. Now I've mentioned a few times I am coming up on my 60th birthday and if there's one, it always seems like there's a theme. I know I always pick like a theme or a mantra or whatever the case may be for my business every year. But just the way my life goes, there's like I guess in Taylor Swift Fashion. There are eras that I go through. What I realized about the age I'm at now is I've lived long enough that I can look back and see there are things that I used to really love doing, but in many cases, they were things I loved doing with my partner at the time. And when that relationship ended, I stopped doing that. So this year, the theme is really all about doing the things I've either always wanted, wanted to do and didn't, or things I used to love doing and stopped doing. So, for example, I just got back from Cancun. I wanted to walk on a white sand beach since I was 12 years old. And then I made it more difficult for myself because then I envisioned if I've waited so long, then the first time I walk on a white sand beach, I want it to be hand in hand with someone I love. Guess what? That happened. I walked on a white sand beach with someone I loved. Me. And it was amazing, and it was awesome. And it's definitely something I'm going to be doing again. I am looking at buying a small motor home this year because I miss camping. I want. I love the privacy of the motorhome. I don't want anything I have to pull. Forget that noise. I have my two fur babies that I want to be able to take with me so they can be in a cage while I'm driving. And then to have the run of the motor home when I'm not. I want to be sitting by a campfire a lot longer, hoping that we can have campfires this year with the whole weather situation. Fingers crossed on that. I attend powwow because I love attending powwow. And the one I recently got back into, which I had totally forgot, I love. I watch football again, of course. Super bowl just ended and I'm shooting this actually before the super bowl happened. So I don't even know who won, but I really, really hope it's Kansas City. You can make fun of me if it isn't, but I swear to God, I'm surprised my neighbors haven't complained because I've spent way too many Sundays sitting on my couch screaming like a loony person at my tv. And I love it. I absolutely love it. So I'm doing things for me that I love. So on this day, on this Wednesday, on the 14th of February, on Valentine's Day, do yourself a favor. Now, I mentioned this in an old video. I might even attach that video to this one. So if you want to watch it, it's. It's one of my most popular videos. So it's definitely worth your time. And have fun looking at me. I would have shot that like in the first couple years of my business. So like 13, 14 years ago and now. Don't be mean. But I talk about what I want you to do. And what I want you to do is to put down your phone or walk away from your tablet or your computer or wherever you're watching this go, walk to the nearest mirror, look in the mirror and say I love you to the person in the mirror. Because I'd be willing to bet, like I mentioned in that video, that you have waited way too long to hear that from you. Just to reinforce that thought. I love you. Have a happy Wednesday. Have an amazing February 14th and happy Valentine's Day. I love you. Take care. Stay tuned for that old video until tomorrow. Bye bye.

Hi everybody. Sandy Boucher here. And welcome back to my World Today. I wanted to talk to you about a very important topic and that is your support team for anyone who's read my book. You know, I am a 10 year domestic abuse survivor. And even long before that happened, probably in fact, the event that set me up to be a perfect victim for an abuser was the fact that as a young girl, I put my value in the hands of another person. Way back then, I was daddy's little girl and I thought I could walk on water. Not because I believed I did, but because my father believed I could. When he died, my life went into chaos because I no longer felt valued. It took many, many years to realize that I'm the only one that has to love that woman in the mirror. And in fact, I'm the first one that has to love the person in the mirror, the woman in the mirror. So today it got me thinking of you as always. And I'm wondering, if you were to look in the mirror today, could you honestly say I love you to the reflection you get back. Or would you tear her to shreds for her imperfections? Today, I dare you. I challenge you. I motivate you to make one change in your life, some small baby step that'll take you closer to loving that woman in the mirror? If you're tearing yourself to shreds because you're overweight, are you doing that because of some stupid society standard? Or you do that, are you doing that because you don't feel you're honoring your health and the woman you are? If it's the first one, throw the standards at the door. If it's the second one, start honoring the woman you are. Because the day you start, so does everyone else. I have worked very hard and traveled a long path to get to the place where I love the woman I am. And I make a conscious effort to make sure I am surrounded by people who believe in me, not the people that blow smoke up my butt. I mean, my friends tell me the truth. They tell me if I'm being delusional, but they support me and they love me. And they remind me on the days that I don't remember. They remind me how amazing I am. That's the kind of friends you need. That's the kind of friends we all deserve to have. That's the kind of friend I hope you are. So walk away from the computer, go look in the mirror and tell that woman you love her. Because she's been waiting way too long to hear it from you. Have an amazing day.

I know.

I'm going to. The sun's calling me. I'm heading out, so have a great night. Talk to you soon. I love you.

Bye. Bye.