Sandi L Boucher connects colonization to violence against Indigenous women, girls, and Two-Spirit people, weaving together homicide statistics from 2009 to 2021, pre-colonial matriarchal history, and her own experience with intimate-partner violence. She calls for remembrance and action on May 5, the National Day of Remembrance for Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women, Girls and Two-Spirit Peoples.
Chapters
You. I wasn't planning on doing a video today, but today is too important not to acknowledge. And I want to talk about something that a lot of people don't, and that is the fact that colonizers taught our men to hate us. Let's start with some statistics. Between 2009 and 2021, the rate of homicide against First Nations, Metis and Inuit women and girls was six times higher than the rate among their non indigenous counterparts. The majority 87% of homicides involving Indigenous women and girls reported by police reported by police between 2009 and 2021 were cleared by police, and then an accused person was identified. This proportion is slightly lower than the homicides of non Indigenous women and girls at 90%. Another part I'm referring to, most Indigenous women and girls were killed by someone they knew. 81%, including an intimate partner, 35%, acquaintance, 24% or family member, 22%. In most cases, the person accused of their homicide was also indigenous. 86%. Before the colonizers got here, so many of our nations were matriarchal. The women were the leaders, or the women chose the leaders, like in the case of the Haudenosaunee and the Clan Mothers or Grandmothers Council. But that didn't work for the settlers. When they got here. They didn't want to negotiate with the women. They insisted that the treaties had to be in the names of the men. Not only did they bring their attitudes towards women with them, but they brought alcohol. And sitting with our men, feeding them alcohol. Our men saw how our women were treated, how they could be rendered less than how they could be rendered irrelevant, how they could be used, abused, or worse. And the lesson stuck. You've heard me say a hundred times, for marginalized, oppressed people, violence, acquiescence or nonviolent resistance are the three natural reactions when the world treats our men like they're less than takes away their pride, spits on them. They lash out against the people closest to them. Because it's really hard to punch the federal government in the nose so often. That's us. They're partners. I always acknowledge on this day that I so easily could have been one of those women. One of those statistics, because once upon a time, I was in a relationship with a beautiful Anishinaabe man, and alcohol was his demon. He was definitely. It's a bad joke, but it was so true in our case. He had the biggest heart, and he was so kind and so beautiful and so loving. Until you added alcohol. And at some point, and I tried determining which Point. Because, I mean, if it was the fourth beer, I would have made sure he only had three. Or if it was the third drink, I would have made sure to stop him at 2. But it changed every single time. But suddenly this expression would come over his face of sheer anger. And he would look at me. On the night I'm referring to, we were at a friend of his. Their house to have a drink to celebrate. Christmas was only a few days away. We only saw this friend maybe once a year. He had made homemade cider and the drinks were plentiful. Now, I had been married before. I was divorced from my children's father, who was at the time a long distance truck driver. And he had informed me that he had dropped off Christmas presents for my kids at the local truck stop. And all I had to do was go pick them up all evening. I reminded my partner that we had to go pick up those gifts. And he'd brush me off and enjoy another drink. Eventually, we left. He was not in any state to drive and he insisted we were gonna go straight home if I knew what was good for me. But my kids deserved a Christmas. They deserved to know that their dad loved them. They deserved those gifts. So I figured he would just pass out in the vehicle and I drove to the truck stop. When we pulled into the parking lot, the truck stop is very well lit and it woke him up. And he wondered why we were there. He was angry. He reminded me that he had said we were going to go straight home. And I told him that we needed to get the gifts. He locked the doors. He refused to let me get out. He said he wasn't getting the gifts. He. She. We wrestled and he pulled me over to the other side. So he was in the driver's seat, not that he was in any state to drive, and insisted that we were going home. I got out of the vehicle because I was getting the gifts. And then he did the one thing I didn't think he would do. He drove away. I was wearing a dress and high heels and a short coat. I live in the city of Thunder Bay. It gets cold here in December. When he drove away, I just lost all hope, all ambition to get the gifts. Now I was thinking of survival, of walking home. And how far was it? I knew it was miles. This truck stop was not in the city. So I started walking down the highway. And then I saw cars were driving by the other way. It's not anything I really paid attention to, but at one point I did, because now the lights were coming from behind me, and they seemed to be coming pretty quickly. I turned just in time to jump into the snow bank as my ex tried to run me down with his pickup truck. He drove on, he drove past me, and I climbed out of the snow bank. Now I'm in that dress and short coat and high heels, covered in snow. I am wet as it melts. And now I started crying because I was pretty sure I was going to freeze to death on that highway, that never mind the gifts, the kids weren't gonna have their mom. Three different times he circled around, and three different times I jumped into the snowbank to save my life. Before finally the police showed up because I guess someone at the truck stop called them. And they arrested me and arrested him and brought me home. It's May 5th. It's the National Day of Remembrance for missing and murdered indigenous women, girls and two spirited peoples. Don't you dare dismiss it, saying it's just them killing their own because you taught our men to do that. You taught them the disrespect, to disrespect us and disregard us. You disrespect and dishonor them, so their anger turns on us. So don't you dare dismiss this. Today, you remember today. Learn so that tomorrow we can do better. Make watch.
