Purpose, God's Plan, Packing a Good Canoe, Tending Your Fire & a Death Binder - FULL VIDEO!

Hello, you super duper, double delicious person. You, Sandy Boucher here once again still working with this new video format and how I'm going to release it to you, the people I care so much about. So what I've decided four resonates across Anishinaabe culture. The four sacred medicines, the four colors of man, the four stages of life, baby, youth, adult, elder, the four parts of being the emotional, spiritual, physical and mental. So I, I have a love with the number four. And doing five segments a week just seemed somehow it just didn't fit. It didn't fit who I am, it didn't fit what I wanted to offer to you. So it's one of those cases where I realized the answer was right in front of me. So here's what's going to happen starting today. Because you're seeing this on a Monday, I'm not going to tell you when I'm recording it. Let's just run with I'm recording it for you on a Monday or releasing it on a Monday. On the Monday. For those of you who want to take one chunk of time and get all of the knowledge at once because you're super busy, whatever the case may be, whatever reasoning you do, you boo. It's your path. You know what you need. On Mondays, I will release the full video. And yes, it'll be in my email to you. People on my list and the people on YouTube can enjoy it on Monday as well. On Tuesday through Friday will be the four clips. So I'm going to share about four things in the full video and then I'm going to narrow it down just to one a day for Tuesday through Friday. So whether you want to consume it all at once or in little clips or reflect on something, that choice is yours. The choice is always yours. Because you know what? I'm staying on my side of the feather. You decide how you want to do things on your side. That's where your power, your wisdom and your confidence is. So let's get started because I have a lot to share. You know what I'm gonna say, let's talk about it. Sam. Foreign. Hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. And today I am shooting this full video for your consumption. So I don't have a handy dandy index card today, and actually I'm feeling kind of naked without it. I may hang on to one for the fun of it. I actually have A spreadsheet on my other monitor where I've planned out what I want to say. Because what I'm going to attempt to do now, I'm not sure this is going to work because it might be a little too controlling. I need to leave the door open for what Creator sends to me to send to you. I don't want to try putting Crater in a box. I know how yucky that feels. I'm definitely not doing that. But I want to try to see if we can respect the medicine wheel and the life stages. So Tuesday's video or the first clip I share in this full video will be the baby stage, which is a learning stage. This is for people just starting on their reconciliation journey. Things are exciting. Things can be overwhelming and scary. Everything that it feels like for a baby. The second stage, the youth stage, that's where people little bit of knowledge is dangerous. They want to go out and do something on that. Youth is a higher learning stage. The adult stage is the action stage. And then of course, the elder is the reflection stage. And that's where we're truly walking together and learning from our mutual journey. So let's get started with the baby stage. Okay, you've heard the story. This story has been going around for years. This is not new. The story of the man in the horrible flood. And I mean, what's going on in the world nowadays? This is really relatable. I'm hoping I'm not triggering anyone. This is just a story. I'm not speaking to any specific horrors right now. But the man's on the roof and everything's flooding and he's praying to God to come save him. And a man comes by in a boat and says, come on, climb into the boat, I can help you. And the man on the roof says, no, no, it's okay. I'm waiting for God to save me. And then a couple of people come by in like a speedboat, a faster, bigger boat, and say, come on, we got lots of room, we got food and provisions. The man on the roof says, no, God is, is going to save me. And the water is getting higher and higher. And now it's start come up on the roof and suddenly that bright light and there's someone in a helicopter and they're shining down the light and come on in, we'll throw down the rope. And the man says, no, I'm waiting for God to save me. Eventually ends up drowning. He's at the pearly gates. He comes in, he meets God and he asked God, like, why didn't you save me? Like, I believed in you. I'm faithful. Why didn't you save me? And gone kind of looked at him and said, what are you talking about? I send two boats and a helicopter right now. Why did I change? Share that. Well, I don't know about you, but I'm definitely in on the craze with everything everybody else. What is that show called? Nobody wants this on Netflix. You gotta what? I saw the ad. I didn't even have Netflix anymore. I saw the advertisement. I was so tempted. I re signed up for Netflix. Cool. Good job, Netflix. And I love the series. If you're a hopeless romantic like me, you're totally gonna love it. It's a romantic comedy, so it's funny. Anyways, in the beginning, Adam Brody, I believe is the the actor's name. He plays the rabbi in this scenario in this show. And he had a quote. I wrote it down here. We all have these chances to wake up and change the course of our lives. Everything can have purpose if you allow it. Look for the signs, my friend. Bottom line, look for the sign. Look for what God or creator or higher power, Dr. Phil, Oprah, the universe. I don't care who you believe in. Look for the signs in every single day. Look for that person who smiles. Look for that person that supports you. Instead of compl about what happens, ask yourself why it happens. As someone who came from an impoverished background, I used to really wonder, like, why does this keep happening to me? Until I realize, like, because I'm doing the same thing over and over, of course it's going to keep happening. I'm not a victim here. I'm actually doing this. But if you change what you do, then things change. If nothing changes, nothing changes. So I guess in this baby stage of opening your eyes to all that's before you. Watch for the lessons today. Watch for that quote you see on the billboard as you drive by. Watch for that meme that pops up on social media. Don't just tunnel vision on what you normally see. Try to see it all. You may be surprised at what creator's sending you. How's that for baby stage? Next youth stage. Now, this one made me laugh. I got him in. And yes, I'm still on. Nobody wants this. That movie because I swear, the pilot, just that first episode, the quotes in it, like, you gotta picture me sitting on my couch with my remote. Keep backing up, go forward, back up. So I could write this down. Because I do notice everything creator sends me. Well, I'd like to believe everything I probably miss some stuff, but I'm way better than I used to be. And this quote just made me laugh from the soul because I could so relate to it. So the quote again, it's Adam Brody. I forget what is Seth. I don't know what his name in the show is, but he's the rabbi, the hot rabbi. You definitely could have watched this. I swear to God, this is not a sponsored video. I just totally believe you need to watch it. Anyways, his quote, we're now in the youth stage, higher learning. Now. If you think God's plan is supposed to feel a certain way and you haven't felt it, if you wonder if we're all in on some big secret that you're not in on, let me tell you, you're in on. I laughed when I heard that not only is it absolutely freaking true, all that this world reveals is there for you to see it, if you just choose to see it. But what made me laugh is I've shared a couple of times now that when I do my seminars and I either have a mixed audience or it definitely happens when I have an exclusive, non indigenous audience that someone just in the course of sharing, you get the impression, you start realizing that these people think that we receive our teachings sitting at a sacred fire or in the ceremony, which absolutely happens. I mean, we can offer tobacco to an elder and ask for that guidance on a regular basis. In the same way that Christians can go to church and talk to their priest or talk to people that are elders in their church community. I mean, it's not exclusive to indigenous nations. But I always laugh when I hear people say that because 99% of my teachings, at least the ones I've received from my mom, happened when we were washing dishes. That's when we would talk. That's when she would. I would share my challenges. That's when she would ask what I thought about that and help me to find my own answers. My mom refused to give me answers. In her words, she would say, you're the only one that's going to be here for your whole journey. You need to learn what you need to be able to go on without me. And as morbid as that may sound, it absolutely isn't. Life's going to happen. I'm a huge advocate of coping mechanisms. Give your skill, don't bubble wrap your kids. Don't try to protect them from the world. Arm them. And I don't mean with weapons, I mean with the skills, coping mechanisms. Teach them how to handle disappointment. Teach them How? Teach them conflict resolution, Teach them negotiation skills. And if you don't know those, learn with them. Prepare them for the journey. When our elders talk about packing a good canoe, that's what they're talking about. They're not literally talking about a canoe trip. They're talking about prepare yourself for the next day. You blow all your money on payday. Don't complain about being broke when something unexpected happens. On Tuesday you emptied your canoe. So pack a good canoe. No, expect the unexpected, especially if it's happened before. Is it really unexpected? Christmas is coming. You might have to spend some money. I bet willing to bet a birthday is coming up a time or two or ten if you haven't maintained your vehicle. That's going to get expensive. Set aside money for that. Pack a good canoe and watch for the teachings that happen in the every single day. I have learned from houseless people that I passed. I have learned from complete strangers, from children, from adults, from elders. The lessons are there. You are in on the secret if you choose to observe, see and listen. Now let's talk about the adult stage. That's an action stage. So next. Now this one, this one made my heart sing. This one. I don't know, I don't know about you, but I think one of the greatest gifts in this life is knowing people, having the opportunity, the. The gift of knowing someone over a long period of time and being able to see them grow and mature and their wisdom developing and their confidence and their comfort in their own being. And you remember back to how insecure they used to be and you just get to smile at all they are now. I was thinking of a friend the other day and he was someone I was dating when I was talking about writing my first book. It wasn't even together yet. And now four books later, we're still in contact. And I will always adore Andy. Yes, I mentioned your name Andy. So that was so special. And I was on social media the other day, I know you're shocked. Just observing life and I have this one friend now. She deserves the credit for this. Her name is Jenna Ray Yerxa. She is the most amazing example of two eyed seeing. She's I believe in the process of getting her PhD and I mean she's so educated and so wise and so incredible and she roasts and harvests monument the rice, wild rice and just like just such a beautiful combination of teachings from both worlds. Sandy wings in this post she was processing the rice. There's the heads up. We're going to do that again Are we. She was roasting the rice and. But this was a picture of her partner, her husband Terry. Her, her just. They're, they're such a beautiful couple. Cannot even describe it. And he was literally, literally tending the fire. And what her quote was, get this, this is so incredibly beautiful. Spend your life with someone who helps take care of your fire. That's my tip, right? She, it so reminded me of my mom because there she was like some people just spend way too much time just in the obvious, the superficial. Her husband was tending a fire. But in that moment she realized what a beautiful metaphor for a relationship in life. Find the person who tends your fire. Not the one who wants you to be smaller. Not the one that tries to put your flame out, wants to throw water on that dream of yours. The one that tends the fire. The one who believes in you on the days that you forget to. The theme of this video is obviously watching what the world and creator sends to you. But I pray that you are surrounded by people who, who tend your fire. I know I am between my family and my team and my friends and you. My fire is burning quite brightly and strong and beautiful and I thank you for that. Midwich. We have one more stage to discuss, the elder stage. This is the reflection and learning stage, which as you may have noticed, happens through all the stages. That's how you grow your wisdom and your confidence and your self awareness. Yet do the work. There is no checkbox. So let's talk about the elder stage next. Okay, we're going to go off on a tangent here for a sec and hopefully this doesn't alarm too many people. It is not anything that upsets me. Hopefully it doesn't upset you. I had mentioned previously in a video that I had a chance to attend the on call worker training with Ashke Windjack in Nan. And it's something I do twice a year. I get to emcee the event and I meet the most amazing people, get to sit in on the most amazing seminars. I just love my job. And I was in a grief workshop and different cultures handle grief differently and my heart always goes out to the cultures that don't discuss it because if you don't cry, if you don't express your pain, there can't be healing. You're just holding it in and your body has to put out that energy to hold it in and that's exhausting. It takes away from energy you need for other things. So we were sharing different ways that we prepare the next generation for death is, is our families Is that a discussion we have or we never talk about it? We all know it's inevitable, but it's not something we share or we do share about it. And I kind of laughed and just blurted out, I have a death binder. And everyone kind of turned and the instructor looked at me and said, okay, this sounds interesting. What are you talking about? And that's what we call it. It's a death binder. It's literally sitting on the shelf next to me. My kids know if anything happens to me, find the death binder. There is contact information in there. People they should contact. My financial advisor because she knows about my different coverage, life insurance and my investments and all that stuff. There's a letter in there for them. Okay, maybe. I hope they don't watch this video. I'm not sure they knew about that part. I've now realized I want to do something extra in the binder. But passwords are in the binder. You know, things they would have to shut down, things they need to know about. I have a deal worked out with my webmasters on what would happen to my websites if everything happens to me. Me, it's. I've lost my parents. I know when I lost my mom. I know that overwhelming grief. I know the comfort that comes from knowing that you're doing what your loved one wanted you to do. So I wanted to take. I wanted to give them as much comfort as I could in a time that I know was going to be hard for them. So by putting it all together, they don't have to search, they don't have to wonder, they don't have to, you know, try to think in a time when thinking is next to impossible. It's in the death binder. They both know about the death binder. We joke around about the death binder every now and then. Every now and then I share something and they will say to me, put it in the death binder. So I remember, right? It just. They don't have to remember all that stuff. It's all in one place and all they have to do is find it. And I can't help thinking in a slightly different way. I'm repeating what my mom did because my mom didn't have a will and I had a really good idea of what she wanted, but I wasn't positive. And me and my children were the ones that were tasked with packing up her apartment. And yes, it was hard, and yes, there was a lot of tears, but there was a lot of laughter, too. When we found the box of my Mom's batteries and another box of safety bins. I know my mom liked to prepare for lean times, but that's packing a really heavy canoe. And I was like, mom, exactly. What did you expect to happen? Of course, she wasn't there to answer me, but it felt great to talk to her again. And as we were packing up, my mom still had her bookcases, like I do. Come by it naturally. And there was mom's Bible. And I started. I got excited when I saw it, like I used to always do as a child. And I explained to my kids that this was a really old binder that my dad had got from my mom. And it was so heavy and so huge, but it had the most amazing pictures. And it's such beautiful pictures, and I wanted to share that with them. So we sat on the floor and I opened up the binder, and we started looking at the pictures. And right in the middle of the pictures was a letter from my mom. She knew I would open the binder. She even. Or the binder. The Bible. And she even knew which part of the Bible I would go to. To me, that's love. I should have known. Her note was in the Bible, but she knew where I would go. And I got to read her words, and we were doing what she asked. And it was beautiful. So I have mom's Bible. I have the Bible for my eldest daughter, who I lost to Sids. And I have my death binder. And that's how people in the elder stage take care of those that come next. So how are you preparing your next generation? Don't make it all morbid. So but give them what they need to go on without you, because that's just in my mind. Good parenting. I hope this video and the clips of this video help you on your journey. And I will see you next week. I love you. Take care. Bye. Bye.