Taking Steps ...Together!

Hello, you absolutely amazing person, you. It's Sandy Boucher here once again, this time with your weekly update on all things Indigenous Canadian reconciliation. Did you miss me? Did you miss me? I missed you. Not enough to go back to the old schedule, gotta admit, because I have so much to share with you and there's been so much going on since I changed things. So let's talk about it. Hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River first nation in Treaty 3 territory in Northern Ontario. And as I mentioned in the opening, this is your weekly video update. I hope you've been well, I hope you've been safe. I hope you've been busy. I hope you've been supporting other people and encouraging, encouraging yourself, because that's the stuff that makes a journey amazing. Now, one of the things I thought I would try now that I've gone to this weekly format, is you've heard me mention that reconciliation is a journey. As I mentioned in my book the Path, and I use the medicine wheel as the template, there are four stages to a life journey, and you see those in the reconciliation journey as well. There's the baby steps, where you don't know anything about reconciliation and everything is new, can be kind of scary and even intimidating at times. That's okay, I got you. Then the youth stage, well, now you know some stuff, but now it's the higher learning. It's like college university for our youth. This, unfortunately, is where people want to start taking action, but they don't have enough knowledge yet. They can actually cause harm. The adult stage is the action stage. If you are not taking action, you're not in that stage yet. And we need you in this stage if you're staying in youth or baby stage because it's comfortable, you're thinking about you and not about us or about reconciling, and that's not going to help. And the elder stage is all about reflection, learning from the journey, tweaking things and giving advice to others. So what I thought I would do is two things. I want to balance the feather. So, as always, I'm going to try to speak to Indigenous and non Indigenous because there's work to be done on both sides of reconciliation. But I want to follow the template of the learning journey. So every video, what I'm going to do, what I'm going to try to do, see how well this works, is offer something that is baby stage. So it's for the people new on this journey, I'm getting people subscribing to my channel all the time, so I don't want them to feel lost or left out. And for those of you who already know this stuff in the baby stage, well, this is the chance for, for one, a review and two, to pat yourself on the back for having learned it. Then we're going to go into the use stage and that's higher learning. And I'm going to share something that maybe you won't understand until you mastered the baby stage stuff, but it's not going to hurt you to be exposed to it. In the adult stage, I'm definitely going to either share actions I've taken or suggest some you could take, or both. And then in the elder stage, I'm going to share some of my reflections, what I've learned on this journey in hopes that it can help you. Sound good? So let's get started in the baby stage. You have heard me a hundred times say that for indigenous people, even before they consider getting involved in reconciliation work, healing is essential. And one of the main changes I made recently was to add a new course into my membership called the Reconciliation Warrior. So that exists now. It's in the membership. So if your employer has purchased the membership for you or you opted in as an individual, it is in the membership vault. You can find it. I moved it around to make it easier for you to find it. What I've done at this point is two things. All of the videos that you find on my YouTube channel under Overcoming Oppression, which is Healing, are now in the Reconciliation Warrior course in the membership as well. Every week it's on my to do list. I'm adding something in there. Whether it's something I've written, something I've found a book I want to recommend you read. Whatever the case may be for non indigenous people, looking at what we need to go through. And by the way, if you're marginalized, you're going to benefit from that course too, right? Marginalized is marginalized indigenous or marginalized people, which means any woman would find benefit from that course because women are marginalized group. So Reconciliation Warrior is up and running. I'm excited about it. I love sharing what has worked for me because I was that impoverished person. I have sold furniture to feed my kids. I can't count how many times alcohol has blown my family apart. And for those that have followed my channel for a while, you know, I'm a 10 year domestic abuse survivor. I know the barriers. I'm also living proof you can overcome them. And it's not because I'm super smart or super strong or whatever. If I can do it, so can you. I. I just had guides and now I want to be yours. So that is the baby stage. What do you think? Now in the youth stage, which is the higher learning stage, you bop around between these stages on a regular basis. And I believe that as an active adult, I believe in lifelong learning. So I always bop back to my youth stage. I do something in the realm of learning literally every single day, every work day. I take the weekends off, you know. I'm presently reading Inner Excellence by Jim Murphy. I think I'm like 20 pages in. Look how many tabs are already on here. This is so worth the read. This is going to come out to be like 20 out of 10. I just know it. But one of the things he identified, I gotta go back and find them now, is what he called 10 new empowering presuppositions. So things that you're going to believe or supposed before something happens. Now that to me kind of lofty title doesn't really roll off the the tongue like I would like you to. This is not meant as any disrespect to Christians. In fact, it is respect of. But nothing is held or recognized more as a set of guiding principles than the Ten Commandments. I would say our seven grandfather teachings are right up there, either a close second or at the same level. But looking at the sure number of people around the world that recognize the Ten Commandments, that's what I'm referring to. So I rename them my ten new Commandments. Now again, I do not mean that as disrespect, but I wanted to share these with you because I have made the commitment not only to learn more about these, which is reading this book, but to live these. So that's older youth going into adult stage, in case you didn't catch it. So here's the 10 I'm reading from page 21. Xxi 21. I think it is refresher on my Roman numerals. Number one. Every circumstance and every person you encounter is here to teach you and help you. It's all working for your good. I 100% believe that that person that is annoying you is a chance to unpack. Why? What are they reminding you of? What are they triggering? It's not about them changing who they are. It's your chance to heal from whatever is being triggered. That's number one. Can you see how amazing these are? It goes on to say you were created for Glory. Infinite inherent worth. The life you've been given is meant to develop your character and prepare you for that glory. I love it. Love it. Number two. Your life. This one mic drop. Your life is a reflection of your beliefs. Think about it. I know I had to unpack so many beliefs, so many stereotypes to be able to do this work. And again, I 100 believe this. Listen to this. The foundation for extraordinary performance, joy and confidence. And the primary skill to learn is how to believe. Beliefs are the control panel of your life. A subconscious thermostat keeping your life in line with your comfort levels. To improve performance and your life in a consistent, powerful way, you must change your beliefs about who you are and and what's possible. I know that wouldn't be true because I did it. I had to. Number three. This one. I don't think you're going to argue but I encourage you to think on each and every one of these a little bit deeper. Number three is self centeredness is the root cause of fear. It leads to self consciousness, concern about what others think of us, over anal, over analysts and ultimately self rejection. Our greatest obstacle. Obstacle? I can read today, honest. Our greatest obstacle is getting in our own way through arrogance or self rejection. Both of which come from self centeredness. Mind blown. Yet number four. We all have the same deep needs and the same deep desires. Every human heart desperately wants to be loved and accepted. Most of what we do. Of course the notifications are on. I'm ignoring them. You think I could have? Anyways, most of what we do is done in order to meet this need. Okay, hang on. I'm grabbing my pen. I'm gonna put it in into do not disturb and I think that's gonna fix it for my Mac as. I can't believe I did this to you guys again. My followers, my. My die hard followers are going to going to shoot me one of these days. No. Do not disturb. Yes. Yes. Okay. The max says do not disturb is on. Let's see if it's true. Okay. We all have the same deep needs and the same deep desires. Every human heart desperately wants to be loved and accepted. Most of what we do is done in order to meet this need. Our deepest need is for unconditional love. And our greatest desire is is to be fully known and fully loved 110 million percent. I know that mathematically that makes no sense. Give me a break. Number five. Everyone does the best they can with what they have in their hearts. 100% believe this. That is according to their background, their understandings. Their beliefs, their fears, their wounds and their voids. Whenever someone, including yourself, acts in a way that is painful or hurtful, it is because they lack resources such as joy, love and peace. Looking through a self centered lens of fear or pain. You gotta get this book, guys. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. Number six, the map is not the territory. The world you see and interact with isn't reality. It's the one your mind created. Based on the way you're interpreted and processed the events in your life so far. Based on the way you've interpreted and processed the events in your life so far, we. I can think of so many cases as siblings that grew up in the same home, same circumstances with one remembers an amazing childhood, One remembers a childhood of trauma. And it's not because certain things happen to only one. It is literally the lens they look at it through. Number seven, you are not your mind. Your mind is a part of you that you need to train. You can learn to direct and control your thoughts just like you learn to control your body. The greatest freedom you have is where to place your thoughts. As you realize that you are not your mind, you will be less attached to the useless negative thoughts that come in every day and direct your mind towards empowering ones. Hundred percent secret to success. First step, get control of your thoughts. Number eight. The problem is not the problem. The problem is the way you're thinking about it. You're not happy or sad because of your circumstances, but rather because of what you think about your circumstances. How you feel originates almost entirely from what you think. The state you enter caused by how you think about a problem is the real problem. I don't have problems in my life. I have challenges. And I find challenges exciting. Exciting. They are opportunities to grow. It's way easier to be happy thinking that way. Still a challenge, but it's not a problem. There's nothing wrong with me. It's not proof I'm gonna fail. It's just another challenge. In the video game Number nine, there's no failure, only feedback. Success and failure are highly interrelated, equally important, and labeled as opposites by our cult. Your ability to learn and grow and maximize your potential is directly correlated to your ability to embrace failure. If you're not feeling failing, that means you're not trying anything new. It means you're not growing. Get out there and fail at something. And if you don't want to be embarrassed, that's ego. And ego burns bridges. Remember, I do some hilarious things every day that probably would have embarrassed me at some point. Now they're hilarious. 10. The person with the most control of their inner world has the most power. Mastery of the ego is the great challenge and greatest opponent in every competition. I have no idea why that notification just came through. Selflessness, complete surrender of the attachments, concerns and fears of the self is the central component to extraordinary performance and cornerstone to creating beliefs that lead to absolute fullness of life. I gotta tell you, that's the last one. I gotta tell you. The joy I have been experiencing in this last week since I backed off on doing the videos and gave myself the time to learn, the time to experiment, the time to fail, the time to create. The absolute joy I have felt is mind blowing and I know it's going to lead to greater success. But the that's kind of bonus. That's the icing on the cupcake. The cupcake cupcake is how much I am enjoying this process. So forgive me for only doing this once a week, but it's one of the best decisions I ever made. So that was we did baby stage. We did youth stage. Now adult. Nothing changes if nothing changes. You gotta change things. So implementing those commands to the best of your ability would be changing something. I have changed so much in the last little while. This new office that you're only seeing in the last couple of months, my new work schedule and only doing a video once a week, definitely focusing on new words because of gender diversity. I used to always say hey guys or hi guys, not realizing that that at some deep level eliminates anyone that doesn't identify as a male. I don't want to exclude anyone. And if it means and yes, it's uncomfortable and yes, I got to learn a new skill, but it's not as uncomfortable as being excluded included. So it's worth the work. Oh, another change that I've made just to make your life easier. No matter what stage you're at, by the time you see this, all of my videos from 2024 and 2023. So all the through indigenous eyes videos and all the path videos have now been broken into categories on my YouTube channel. So if you're looking at overcoming oppression, that list is there. If you're looking at reconciliation practices, that is there. If you're looking at just how indigenous people view different things, that list is there. Yes, we have pretendions and descendants. Yes, we have allyship. There's a whole bunch. I made it easier for you. Last but not least is the elder. I am coming up on my 61st birthday and nothing gives me more joy than how much joy I feel. The fact that at 61 there are still things I can change, still things I can improve on and still things, joys that I had not experienced before that are just there waiting for me. I believe. You know how they always say ages a number which to a large extent I think is a hardcore bs. But you can grow up. You don't need to grow old. And my dad maintained a youthful personality until the day he died and to a large extent so did my mom. And I still get little kid at Christmas excited over things and I pray that never ever changes. I am excited about this year. All the changes I've implemented. You have no idea how many more are coming. The new book oh my God. So I released the excerpt. By the time you see this, there's been two that have gone out to my email list. You're going to want to get on my email list if you want to get those excerpts from my new book that I'm posting on substack. So you can either make comments, suggestions, changes, call out my typos in a substack comment, or you can just email me back. Either or. The response is amazing. I can't believe how many people read the first couple click again. Best decision I ever made compared to being all alone writing a book. I love it. I absolutely love it. So today I'm just gonna leave you with don't be afraid of changing something. Be afraid of not changing something. Be afraid of because that steady constant is an illusion. Everything is changing every single day. Our bodies are changing. We're getting older. This season is changing. How many, how much daylight or night we have is changing. Embrace the change. Embrace what Creator's trying to show you. You don't have to control it, but you can enjoy it. Enjoy every single stranger that Creator sends your way. If you notice that kid laughing and playing with their sibling outside, laugh with them and enjoy. You don't need to go join them, but you can smile and enjoy the view the Creator just shared with you. I start every single morning enjoying the sun coming up and that will never get old. I encourage you. This is your chance. You got all the lessons. Change something, Change something. And in the comments I would love to hear what you've changed recently and what you're going to change until next week. I love you. Take care. Bye bye. It.