A short YouTube vlog by Sandi L Boucher (Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, Seine River First Nation) reflecting on Indigenous-informed parenting. She stresses that children reveal who they are through their interests rather than being pushed into roles, and emphasizes that parents teach primarily by example: authenticity, honesty, and doing ones own healing matter because children emulate actions more than words. The speaker supports this with personal anecdotes about her adult children and closes with an urging to model authenticity.
Chapters
Have you ever worried about whether you're not. You're a good parent? I'd be willing to bet if you have kids you have in this week or in this video. I wanted to share with you a little bit about Indigenous worldview when it comes to parenting. But also the one thing that became obvious to me this week, and I'll give you a heads up, it's something we were told for years that we may or may not have believed. It's true. True. Except I have adult children now and they've been around long enough that I can see what did play out exactly the way we were told it would. So let's talk about it. Hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River first nation in Treaty 3 territory in Northern Ontario. And yes, today I want to touch on parenting because it affects so many of us. Now, I know in some cultures, in some families, in some homes, a huge part of parenting is encouraging your child. Of course I'm going to yawn, by the way, at 7:30 in the morning on a Sunday, I think I have the right to yawn. Just saying. But I know in some cultures, some families, some homes, it's all about encouraging your child down a career path. And in some families and cultures, that career path is chosen for the child or there's heavy pressure on that child to become a doctor, to become a lawyer, to become a police officer like his dad is, whatever the case may be, dad, mom, whoever. That's not the niche perspective, the indigenous perspective. In many Indigenous cultures, again, I don't want to say all, but definitely in the ones I've worked with, we believe more that the child will reveal who they are. That if you sit back and watch what they're interested in, are they musically inclined or do they love math? Do they love building things? In a traditional community would be do they gravitate to fishing, to hunting, to gathering medicines? Where do they go that our children reveal to us who they are? And that is all well and good, but I think we can all agree parenting is not easy. It is the hardest job out there. And I can tell you right now, I have kids, kids in their 30s. That doesn't get easier because especially with my eldest, and I don't want to say our difficult or relationship is difficult, but what I can remember saying to her when she was 17, that I have never been the parent of a 17 year old before and she has never been 17 before. So it was new to both of us. And we were going to make mistakes and, and we were going to butt heads, but if we work together, we'd get through it. That hasn't changed the fact that she's in her 30s now. I still have never been the parent, a parent of a child her age because she's my eldest. So we're still on that learning curve together. But now my daughter, biggest heart on the planet and you know, we touch base via text daily and every now and then she'll just text me to share with me. I definitely need to eat something. Excuse me, sorry. Or have a coffee. That would be really good idea. She shared with me. Like she text me throughout the day to tell me something the kids are doing or, you know, how her garden's going or whatever the case may maybe just sharing little tidbits and she shared something this week and I'm not going to share with you what it is because that's this. She's not doing this video. That's not the important part. But it started out with because you did this, it inspired me to do this too. Because you were gutsy enough to do this. I've decided to do this too. Now what I did not going to give you the details on that either, but it was all. It was in the realm of honoring myself, accepting myself, enjoying who I am at this age and stage in my life. And when she sent that text, I can tell you, and by the way, she just sent it casually, like I said, like I don't know if she realized the impact it had on me, but I'm definitely going to tell her about it. Maybe I'll just send her this video. But when I read her text, it so reminded me of how often I heard, your children will not do what you tell them to. They'll do what you do. And there it was right in front of my face. And yes, that is challenging because we are humans. We're on a healing journey too. Just because we have kids doesn't mean we're instantly perfect. But we have to be careful. What lessons? Like, how much do you want to put in your child's suitcase? How much do you want them to have to unpack at a later date? Do your unpacking. Do your healing. Do what you have to do. Be honest and authentic. If anything, teach your kids to be authentic. Teach your kids to be honest. Teach your kids to love who they are. And yes, that means you have to love who you are and you have to be authentic and you have to be honest. The only thing I can tell you without any doubt. I can't tell you I don't want to sneeze. I want to make it to the end of this video without sneezing. I can't tell you what to do because I don't know your journey. I don't know you, I don't know your child. But I can tell you authenticity rings true. That we live in a world where authenticity is rare and people recognize it when they see it. And your kids will be able to trust in you if you are authentic with them. So yeah, your kids will not do what you tell them to. They will do what you do. So time to put the crap down. Time to do some healing. If you haven't been able to do it for you, do it for your kids. The payoff is so freaking worth it. I know because I'm experiencing it. Until tomorrow. I hope that resonated. Until tomorrow. I love you. Take care. Bye. Bye.
