Sandi L Boucher (Red Thunderbolt woman, Loon clan, Seine River First Nation) addresses non‑Indigenous Canadians to urge them to "stop rushing." Framed through an Indigenous worldview and the medicine‑wheel idea that each life stage has value, she gives examples of harmful rushing (pressuring children to grow up/sexualization, rushing to speak on topics without experience, rushing the healing/grieving process, and hastily moving on from relationships or losses). She emphasizes honoring each moment, resisting time‑controlling impulses, and closes by reading an original poem titled “Give me an excuse” that invites slowing down and presence.
Chapters
Something slightly different to finish off our week this week. You've often heard me talk about the difference between non Indigenous worldview and an Indigenous worldview. And I really want to lean on my Indigenous worldview today. I was thinking, you know, if there was one message that I would like to send to non Indigenous peoples, non Indigenous Canadians, what would that be? And it took about a half second for that to come to me. And not for my benefit. Like this is not something I want to say to them so I benefit from it. This is definitely so they benefit from it. So let's talk about it. Hi everybody, my name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. And as I mentioned in the opening, I was thinking, you know what if I had the opportunity to speak to all non indigenous Canadians living within Canadian borders, what would I want to say to them? And it came, it just popped into my head. And then I realized I really liked the answer that popped into my head because it really had nothing to do with me. It had nothing to do with, with Indigenous peoples. It wasn't, I need you to do this or you can get along with us better. It's like for the sake of yourself, as someone who absolutely cares about you, you need to do this. And what was that thing that in my humble opinion, non Indigenous Canadians, non indigenous people need to do for the sake of their sanity and mental health and physical health and well being and all of that stuff? Stop rushing. Stop like what are you rushing too? I do everything in my power to avoid stress. And that doesn't mean like I enjoy some healthy stress in my business and trying to meet a target and whatever. That's good stress in my mind. But I avoid the stress of running late. I avoid the stress of not having enough time. I am really good after 60 years on the planet of knowing what can I get accomplished in one day and what's going to get kicked to another day. I get up three hours before I have to leave to be somewhere. And no, I'm not exhausted because I go to bed early enough to still get my seven or eight hours sleep. As mentioned on this channel many times I have not used an alarm clock and more than a decade so it is doable. But I don't have a handy dandy index card today. I again sent an email to myself from the couch yesterday, but I see non Indigenous Canadians first off, rushing to grow up. The first time I saw what was it La Senza kids. I was like, get your hands off our freaking kids. Our kids. We know what's happening to our kids because they're being sexualized by predators. That does not help. That little six year old does not need to dress like a teenager. That little six year old should dress like a little six year old and, and not only dress like a six year old, but have the life of a six year old because they're never going to get to be six again. And, and the teenager doesn't need to rush to be an adult. Just remind them you're going to have to pay rent or a mortgage payment for the rest of your life. You don't need to do it at 13. What I believe with an indigenous worldview, that is the lens I look at the world through. I can't help that it's the only lens I got. But from our standpoint, no one's taught you that there are valuable lessons to be learned in each stage of the medicine wheel. That the teachings you experience as a baby, the enjoy over, the joy over every new thing, learning new skills, all of that we need to work to hang on to as adults and elders and the youth. That activism stage, that wanting to change the world for the better, that is not a negative and that has to be channeled and focused so that they feel their passion when they're working on something important. Just getting a job to settle into being an adult reminds me of an Ed Mylett quote. I don't, I'm not sure it was his quote, but he definitely quotes it on a regular basis. What he talks about is the fact that many, many people died. Excuse me, in their 20s. They just didn't think to lay down until they were in their 70s or 80s. Food for thought. Of course I yawned. Of course I yawned. So no rushing to grow up. No. Okay. This one definitely has a benefit for indigenous peoples. No rushing to speak up. We all know a little bit of knowledge is dangerous. And nowadays there are a whole bunch of people with a little bit of knowledge speaking on topics that they have no business speaking to. It's all about I have the right to speak. Okay, you know what? Social contract, you want to speak a whole bunch of garbage, put that disclaimer on your video. If you have no life experience, no education in that field, you're just blowing smoke and sharing your opinion. Make sure everyone knows it's just an opinion. Enough said, people. This is another one. I see. And this is. I don't think any of these are non indigenous exclusive, but definitely that's who I'm thinking of right now, rushing to heal. Whether it's grieving of any type or healing from trauma, the three days paid leave for the loss of a loved one is insulting and ludicrous. There, I said it. It just is. It's ridiculous. And I pray you all have supportive supervisors and managers so if you need a day. You tried to get to work and you just dissolved into a puddle. That. That's okay. Just. Just let it go. Just. Just. That's ridiculous. Rushing to cheer someone up. This is so harmful because there you do have a person who is taking the time to be sad or mad or depressed or whatever it is, and everyone wants to race in and cheer them up. It's like, no, sit with them and be quiet. Make sure they know they're not alone, but let them honor it. When lockdown hit and I lost 48 grand in 24 hours, I did my mandatory three days in bed bawling my eyes out because I had to honor the fear and the grieving. And then I got my butt out of bed and got to business because I had a business to save. And I'm happy to say it worked quite well. But you need to honor the pain. Don't rush past it. I have had relationships end. And you just know that the next period of time, whether it's a week, a month, several months, are gonna suck because you love that person and it's now over and grieving. It took a full 18 months before I started seeing the sun after my mom passed away. So quit rushing. You're making yourself unhealthy. And the last one, rushing to move on from whatever. Make sure the. The analogy I used to always use is I don't move on from something until I know I've played all my cards. And when I am certain that I've tried everything I could to make this relationship, to make this job, to make this partnership, to make this friendship work. And it's. It is time to move on. But that is not rushed. That is. It's not reactionary. It is. It's thought out. It's. It's. You know, it's a plan. I know it's empowering because I'm not reacting. I'm not putting someone in charge of my life. I'm doing what I need to do. So stop rushing. If there's one thing, any indigenous nation that I have had the opportunity to work with, I'm not going to say all. I haven't worked with all of them, but the ones I work with we understand that we do not control time. Winter is going to come when winter comes. Spring is going to come when spring comes. You're going to age whether you want to or not. Those days are going to pass whether you need more time or not. So stop trying to control it and start appreciating the time you have. Tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone. So my suggestion, stop right now, breathe. And just enjoy this second. Because if you enjoy this second, it doesn't rush by because you're paying attention to it. If you enjoy this second, same thing. It's the closest you can get to controlling time by noticing time. Which reminds me of a poem I wrote so many years ago. And as always, if you send me an email, I'd be happy to send you a copy of the print. You can print out and frame it. It's got a beautiful background on it. Than thanks to my amazing graphic designer. And this was long before I started my business when I was still executive in a non profit indigenous agency and the workload was insane and my life was busy. I had two teenagers and there's partners living with me. It was a little nuts and I could feel it because I hadn't learned all of the stuff I just shared with you yet. So I wrote this poem and it's called Give me an excuse and it was written to the partner I hoped I would find. Here it is. I have it on my computer here. Give me an excuse to slow down for a while to leave the demands of my mind behind. Let me enjoy the moment as I lose myself in your gaze. Talk with me and let me see how your eyes dance with laughter. Touch me so I can feel how close we are. Kiss me tenderly to highlight that there is absolutely nothing uncomfortable about this silence. Hold me while I accept that not every minute has to be busy and that There are actually 60 seconds in each one. If you stop to count them. Give me an excuse to slow down. I want to enjoy my life and this time with you. I hope you manage to find the time to enjoy this time with me. And I hope you have a super duper double delicious weekend and I will see you on Monday. I love you. Take care. Bye bye.
