The Question I Should Have Asked

Hello, you absolutely amazing person, you. Before I dive into today's video, before anything else, I wanted to say chimigwech, a super huge thank you to all of the people on my social media pages who wished me a happy 60th birthday on Saturday. It was an amazing day. It was. I spent time with my son and my daughter and my grandchildren, but all through the day I received messages and posts just with best wishes. It was an absolutely amazing day and I wanted to thank you for that. In line with my 60th birthday, in this age and stage of life comes I got to get used to this new mic comes reflection. Looking back on what you said or what you did and does that make sense? Does it resonate? Do I need to add something to it? I think as you get older, hopefully, definitely in my case, hopefully in other people's case, you get kinder with yourself. You realize that mistakes are human and that you always had the option, have the option to add to something or to clarify something or whatever the case may be. So today I am so my mom doing all these deeper dives lately. I want to take a deeper dive into the Take the Best Leave the Rest video I did last week talking about Jordan Peterson and Dave Ramsey because I did the video. But I did some more reflection and I wanted to share that with you because I asked myself a question that I'm certain some of you wished I had asked myself. So let's talk about it. Foreign. Hi everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine river first nation in Treaty 3 territory in Northern Ontario. And as I said, I wanted to take a deeper dive into into my Take the Best Leave the Rest video on Jordan Peterson and Dave Ramsey. And in that video, what I had said I had shared how unknowingly I see quotes all the time and if it resonates, I'm going to remember that quote. Maybe I'm going to share it in a social media post. And in this case, I saw a quote. It totally resonated with me. It actually became a blog post, which if you don't know, I release a blog post daily to my email list and then someone called me out on it because it was a Jordan Peterson quote and I had no idea who Jordan Peterson was. Now the one thing I wanted to comment on is a lot of people that gave feedback on that video said how they then went off and did a deep dive into Jordan Peterson. I don't have time to do that. I don't know what's going on in the lives of people that do. And if that's something you want to do, all the power to you. I definitely have higher priorities than that. So before I go into that, I mentioned there was one question I'd be willing to bet that some people had wished I had asked. And when I was doing my reflection, what I realized was with both the Jordan Ramsay situation and, and specifically his horrific comments concerning Elliot Page and Gordon Ram. Not Gordon. David Ramsey. Wrong person. Totally wrong person. David Ramsay. Who? Gordon Ramsay. That could be a whole different video. Dave Ramsey with firing someone for having premarital sex and then the whole fraud investigation that's going on right now. So one of the things that I realized as I did more reflection was I don't have any skin in this game. With the Jordan Peterson quote, would it hit differently if I was trans or had a loved one that was trans? So that's the question I was asking. And with Dave Ramsey, I've got my social media going off here, but we're just going to ignore that. With Dave Ramsey, I don't work for him. So his thoughts on premarital sex. He's an in evangelical Christian. I guarantee you there's going to be things we don't agree on. But I'm not an employee of his, so I didn't have that. I'm. I'm not involved in any of the fraud that also involves his employees. So again, no skin in the game. So the question I asked myself was would it resonate differently if this person that we're talking about, this third person that I see a quote from them, would it resonate differently if this person was known for their anti indigenous racism? In other words, change the game. So I do have skin in the game. And as I pondered that, so a couple things came to mind. Yes, handy dandy in this card. First off, it depends how well I know them know this other person. Is this like a social media or you know, a public image or is this someone I know personally? And here's why. I work with a lot of non indigenous people and I have for years and every now and then even someone I've known for 20 years can say something that's a little problematic. If that happens, when that happens, I know this is not a horrible person. I know this isn't a person that goes around attacking indigenous people. There's just some misinformation, missing information or a stereotype at play. I know that they're not an enemy or not attacking. So it's like, whoa, I can interrupt it. You have to do that. I can call it out. I don't like that phrase because it sounds like, you know, it's aggressive or attacking. It's like, no, I shut down the conversation and say, whoa, wait a minute, I gotta push back on that and we have the discussion. So if I know them, non issue. If it's a first impression, my defensive walls going higher, it's like, okay, is this a case of missing information, misinformation or stereotype or is this person sharing their true colors with me? I'm definitely going to be more hesitant depending. Like in both cases, I'm probably going to put more effort into the person I know because that's established relationship and you have to energy into your relationships where you don't get to keep your relationships with a gift given must be cherished or a gift not cherished is soon lost that one that teaching. But when it comes to these social influencers, I'm not going off to do a deep dive because I wasn't endorsing the person. I was endorsing the quote. I was resonating with the quote. And I realized that that means I might be endorsing the quote of an incredibly problematic person. So I sat with that for a little while and I thought, you know what? Is it really such a bad thing to remind my followers that even the most problematic people can say something worthwhile every now and then? And that I am a huge believer in positive reinforcement in the same way that I believe we have to hold space for non indigenous people to grow and learn and apologize for what's happened. I believe that we have to celebrate when problematic people say or do something good. For example, Salmaqua. I'm going off on a way tangent here. They change the rules in the legislature. So he's going to be able to speak his first language in the house for the first time in Canadian history. And his mom's going to be there and his mom doesn't speak English and it's amazing. Yet I saw the comments like, well, isn't it about time? Don't do that. Celebrate the win. Focus on the win. Because if we give positive reinforcement for the win, then there's space and encouragement to do more wins. So even when I have skin in the game, I have no time, no interest in going around and crucifying people or judging them because I'm indigenous. I know when it's judged to be judged, like every single day of the week. Why would I do that to someone Else I'm not going to practice what they preach. I mean, that's just ridiculous. What this reflection really brought home for me is a Michelle Obama quote. And I want to use my card here to make sure I get it right. It's harder to hate up close. Get closer to that person. Meaning get to know that person better if that's what you need to do before the knives come out, before the cancellation, before the attacks. And by the way, if you're attacking online from your keyboard and never say anything anywhere else, that's an easy route. So I'm still okay with what I do. I rarely look at who said a quote. I am more. I am not interested in. I was going to say I'm not interested in who you are, but that's not true. But I am interested in what you say. And did that resonate with me because that's how I can build a bridge. I'm not out here looking for a whole bunch of people I approve of to build a bridge with. Wow. Ego trip. Like, who am I, creator? I get to decide who plays. No, but if you say that thing that resonates me with me, we can have a conversation. And if you don't, we might still be able to have a conversation, depending on your ability to be able to hear me or your willingness to hear why that sentence was problematic. So there's my deeper dive. I didn't want to stay in a safe corner removed with no skin in the game. So I put myself in the game. And I'm happy to say I landed in the exact same place. Yes, it was a Jordan Peterson quote. I'm okay with the quote. I should try to find that quote for you. That might be difficult. We shall see. If I can. I'll include it in the video if I can't watch for it. I hope that made sense. I'd love to know what you thought. Judgment is so easy, and we know how bad that feels. So let's not do that until tomorrow. I have another great week for you. I love you. Take care. And again, thank you for all the happy birthday wishes. That was amazing. Talk to you soon. Bye. Bye.