The Reconciliation Equation (How to Reconcile this Country or with Partner, Friend, or Child)

I'm back. Yes, I said that in Kermit the Frog excitement style because that's how excited I am to see you again. It's been so long. How have you been? I hope you've been well. I hope you enjoyed a good break. I hope you enjoyed, enjoyed some love and you got spoiled. Even if it was just by yourself. I hope you spoiled yourself. But enough about that. Welcome back in 2025, we are focusing hardcore on reconciliation via the reconciliation equation. If you watched my January 1st video, you know that today I'm going to share the reconciliation equation with you. But first I got something I got to rant about. Are you really surprised? You know, I got to do a rant every now and then and I'm not as upset as I was yesterday. Got admitt it got saved by some other wise Indigenous voices, but still, we gotta talk. So let's talk about it. Hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. And I am so flipping excited to be back chatting with you, doing the good work bringing this country together, helping non Indigenous to understand Indigenous, helping Indigenous to heal and find their voices. We've got good work to do and that's going to be with the help of the reconciliation equation, which I'm going to talk about in a minute. But first, we got to talk about January 4th. We got to talk about National Ribbon Skirt Day as Indigenous Services Canada declared. And I got to admit, like I said yesterday, I was pretty upset. I've said this before. I'm going to say it again. A ribbon skirt is not a traditional skirt. They are new. I was thinking about it the last time I got married. Don't even go there. Was in 2002. Ribbon skirts were not a thing then. And I ended up moving away after my marriage ended. I came back in 2009. I don't believe ribbon skirts were a thing then. If they were, they definitely were not common now. Is it an expression of Indigenous pride? Absolutely. It is like wearing our jewelry in that way. I love the, the day, the, the wearing of the skirts to make them more common. It's kind of like I'm loud and proud. It's awesome. I love it. But what had me upset was I was starting to see on social media posts about ribbon skirts and describing them almost like there was a sacred teaching behind Ribbon skirts are not our jingle dresses. They're not the men's traditional outfits. They are relatively New. And like I said, go for it. I love the pride. Wear it. It's awesome. But let's not make it into something it's not this. They are new. I own several of them. I love them. They're beautiful. But I am seriously thinking this year that I may not be wearing my ribbon skirts. That I will go back to what I did when I first started on the Red Road, which is wearing any long skirt. And I've even seen young women at ceremony where the elders just gave them a blanket to wrap around themselves to mimic a skirt. And because. And here's why. There are way too many young indigenous women out there that don't believe they would be accepted at ceremony in Powwow and whatever gathering they want to attend unless they have a ribbon skirt. And guess what? Ribbon skirts are not cheap. And that is problematic. You do not need to have. As an indigenous person. I'm speaking to indigenous here for a second. You do not need money to access our teachings. Why do you think they give honorarium when you dance at Powwow? They're not paying you to dance. They're helping you to cover your expenses. So it didn't cost you anything to come and access the wisdom of the other people there and the elders. It's also why they feed you. Right? Because it's not supposed to cost you anything. But these young girls are seeing these beautiful skirts. And I swear they're getting more elaborate. But by the year and pricier our serum. You don't need an expensive skirt to learn our teachings. Again, I'm talking to indigenous. Non indigenous should not be learning our teachings. That should never be our focus. Learning to understand us and how to support us. Sure. But you don't need to access our most sacred teachings. That's kind of crossing a line. Huge. I digress. Rents do that. But seriously, like now, today, why I'm calmer. Yes, this is calmer. I saw a post on LinkedIn. Indigenous woman on there was sharing about National Ribbon Skirt Day. And she was sharing about this modern manifestation of our skirts. Like back in the day. I remember ribbon shirts for the guys. And even they weren't elaborate. They are now. But we just wore long skirts. Humility. Right? I'm not talking about modesty. Let's not get into that warped colonial teachings. But humility teaching. And you don't need to be rich to know our teachings or to have access to our teachings. So I don't know. I share that with anyone who thinks I know young girls are like, I know someone who wanted to give a ribbon skirt as a Christmas present. That kind of made my decolonizing head spin. Like, let's put colonial Christianity and our teachings to. There's a lot of Christian indigenous people. I'm not going to be the one to tell them they're wrong again because that's what happened in their family tree way back when, when they became Christians. I hope that made sense. They're beautiful skirts if you own one. Wear with pride. If you don't wear any skirt with pride, wear your jeans with pride. Wear whatever you got with pride. Because your pride should not be centered on something you have to pay for. Be proud of who you are. Be proud of the fact that Creator knew you were needed here and that's why you're here, right? That, that self respect, that, that self confidence that comes from self. Now what you wear or how fancy or expensive it is, that's colonial. Okay, rant over. I feel better. Just so worried about those young girls. They get so warped. Anyways, this year, as I promised, we're focusing on reconciliation and not just Indigenous Canadian reconciliation, because I have long said Canada is doing it backwards. They're trying to start at a national level. They haven't yet figured out how to get six people in a room to get along. If you can figure out six people, you can do 26, you can do 206, you can do a country. We got to start small. So this year we're going to be talking about reconciliation and what you're going to find. Of course I'm doing it from an Indigenous Canadian perspective. But what you're going to find is the rules, the teachings, the guidance, the skills I suggest you develop are going to apply in every situation. Whether you're trying to reconcile with your past or you're changed for future reconciling with your partner, your adult child, your younger child, your parents, your next door neighbor, your colleagues and co workers, whoever the case may be. Reconciliation is important and learning those skills are huge. That's what we're going to be talking about today and for the entire year. So I have some notes here. I don't have a handy dandy index card. I actually wrote it in notes on my Mac trying this technology thing. I think my general manager is going to be thrilled. I'm still a little nervous. Kind of want my index card, but we're going to try it. We'll see if it works. So if I were to ask you the number one skill needed to reconcile with your partner, your friend, your past, your change future, what do you think it would be number one skill you have if you have followed my work for any length of time. You have heard me say this a hundred times. And before I tell you the answer to that, I want you to consider specifically thinking Canadian history here as it relates to Indigenous people. So many people in modern day talking about reconciliation are worried about what should they do, what action should they take. Reconcilia. Action. It's all about the action. You take action without putting the proper thought into it. You're hurting someone. We know this. You've done this. I know I've done this. What people are missing is it's not just the action. Because how you take the action is just as important, if not more important. Keep that in mind. Because just taking action, you can have the best of intention, but you take the wrong action or do it the wrong way, you're causing harm, you're not helping. We got to keep that in mind. So what is the number one skill needed to reconcile? Like I said, anyone who follows my work is not shocked. Humility. So the reconciliation equation, it's not the checklist that mainstream would love us to provide, but it is an equation. You know, the A plus B equals C well. And this equation, if you keep it in mind, I think it's going to be an incredibly popular and powerful and helpful tool for you to use. It may be just what you need to figure out why that initiative you've been trying for years just is not getting you the results you need, or why you're not retaining Indigenous people. Right. Why you can't even find them to hire them to fill the positions you need. So enough bearing the lead here. What is the reconciliation equation? Humility plus wisdom equals reconciliation. Humility plus wisdom equals reconciliation. Now, think about it. Humility, back to back teaching, acknowledging that you can see so much of the room from where you're standing, but you will never see it all. And that's why you got to listen to the person that says they have your back. Wisdom is the other side of the feather, the balance. You have to have humility. I don't know what's going on in that First Nation community, but you have to have the wisdom of. I have to lean on what I do know and what I have learned without going to ego as soon as you go, too. Don't worry about it. I've worked with so many First Nation communities, I know how to do this. That's not wisdom, that's ego. Balance is everything. But humility and wisdom will get you reconciliation. Now, this is where it gets exciting. Reconciliation equation. Actually, humility and wisdom are acronyms. Every single letter stands for something you need to consider and keep in mind. And what I'm going to do over the series of the next, what, 5, 10, 15 videos is walk you through those acronyms. This is going to be valuable. You're going to want to subscribe to my channel for this so that you don't miss anything. This is going to be one amazing year, which is why I'm so pumped to start it. Another thing I like to do because it's the beginning of the year now, I'm not into resolutions that whatever, just not my thing. But I do like to adopt a quote that just inspires me. Now, for marginalized people watching this, for indigenous women watching this, Marginalized in two ways, women and indigenous. Double whammy. It is so important that you get control of your mindset that you start doing personal growth, that you listen to positive quotes and positive speakers because you have to undo the training that colonization has done on your head that assimilation has done. Like that, that negative down on yourself. That's a reaction to the environment. But you have the power to change your environment by looking at the quotes you love. Now, I picked out a few. I just clicked the wrong button and that totally will not help. Now, I mentioned one in my January 1st video. If you watched it, thank you so much for watching it. Please share it if anything in there would help anybody. That is a rule for any of my videos. I digress. Again, this quote is actually the desktop on my Mac right now, just for people who are struggling. Hang on to this quote. So what is it? One day, the mountain that is in front of you will be so far behind you, it'll be barely visible in the distance. But the person you become in learning how to get over it, that will stay with you forever. And that is the point of the mountain. Isn't that amazing? I'm 15 years in business. I've said it a million times. You don't get to say you're 15 years in business without saying, I'm one year, I'm two years, I'm five years. Because it's climbing those mountains. The challenges you face in those years, that gets you to 15 years. So keep going. The wallpaper on my phone right now, I don't know if you're going to be able to see this. Well, it's going to be backwards probably, right? If you don't do the stuff, you don't get to keep the things. If you don't do the stuff you don't get to keep the things that's if you're lazy and finding it hard to get back into the office after your Christmas break. I I feel you. I feel you. What's another quote here? This one resonate now for people that follow my channel. I'm a 10 year domestic abuse survivor. There was a time I was not surrounded by loving, supportive people. They were there, they were trying to get to me. But there was a whole bunch of icky people standing in their way. This quote definitely resonated. You can't grow with people who don't like how growth looks on you. You can't grow with people who don't like how growth looks on you. Find partners and friends that will cheer on your growth and actually, you know, be there at the finish line just to cheer you on. And this one, just sending this out there to all the single women out there, maybe single everyone out there. I just thought this was awesome. It's a quote by Brooke Hampton and it's I'm not waiting for a hero. I saved myself long ago. I don't need someone to complete me. I'm whole alone. I just want a weirdo to go on adventures with. Someone who will dance with me, kiss me when I least expect it and make me laugh. And except for the kissing part, that definitely described all of the friends in my inner circle. And that's probably one of the reasons I smile so much. So welcome to 2025. I am so flipping thrilled you're here. I let's talk reconciliation. Let's get you reconciling with anyone you need to reconcile with. And let's get this country closer to reconciling because we all deserve that to happen. Because we all benefit if it does. Until tomorrow. I love you. Take care. Bye. Bye.