TLC Discusses Stereotypes and How They Do Not Serve Us

Hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher and welcome to the next edition of the Learning Curve. I gotta be honest with you here, as far as my teachings are concerned, and I'm Ojibwe, in case you didn't know that. We believe that everything happens for a reason. And today, as I was driving out here to Paquette Road to get ready to film this episode, I checked my Facebook and Facebook is pretty popular in Thunder Bay. And I have to admit that some of the comments I saw were pretty disturbing. And normally I really wouldn't have an outlet for how I felt about those comments Today. It reminded me of just how important this show is. I'm not about to criticize or condemn anyone, and you have the right to your opinions, but the Learning Curve is all about sharing information so that when you make those comments or you ask questions, you come from an informed place. In our first episode, Jenna Ray Yerxa was here and she talked about unpacking the suitcase. And that's the phrase we use for the process of looking at why you feel a certain way. Where did that information or that training come from and does it serve you in this present day and what you're trying to achieve as indigenous people or as non indigenous people? It's a process we all have to go through if we want to build respect, respectable, diverse communities. And the reality is, nowadays we all exist in a diverse community, so we might as well find ways through the learning curve to get to that place where everyone can be safe and comfortable. I think we all deserve that. So today we're going to help you do that. We're going to help you do a little bit of unpacking. And I can't wait to introduce you to the guest I have today. But first, I have a scenario that, that I want you to consider. I want you to imagine going down a Thunder Bay street, probably a neighborhood street, and you see a young indigenous woman pushing her baby carriage down the street. Now, the answer to the question you don't have to share with anyone, but it's important that you ask yourself the question. When you first see that young woman, what goes through your mind? Are you happy? Does it remind you of the days when your kids were young? Are you happy to see this young woman out there enjoying her children? Or did you automatically assume that she was on social assistance? Did you automatically assume that her partner wasn't in the picture, that she was a single mom? Or did you automatically assume that she was living in poverty? The reality is that racial stereotypes are part of our community. And they don't serve us. They eliminate the individual and turn us into this lump sum experience. We are not our past. Often I know people who have lived in certain areas who have suffered through poverty only to go on and achieve great things. What your postal code is doesn't establish your value. People that know my journey, who have sat in on one of my seminars have heard me say that I raised my family on Picton Avenue, that I lived in a low rent housing project. And a lot of people have certain opinions of the people that live there. Well, I'm living proof that that was just an example of the financial situation I was in at that time. It didn't stop me from becoming a successful businesswoman. It didn't stop me from becoming the host of this TV program. So we really have to be careful when it comes to stereotypes. We've all been trained to use them. Now we have to unpack that suitcase. The guest I have for you today, his name is Marcel, sorry, Bananas Sr. And he is an amazing individual, a very humble man, which is another trait that we very much value in the Ojibwe culture. But you would be amazed how much this man does on a day to day basis and the path that he traveled to get here. So I can't wait to introduce you to him. Sit back, relax, grab that coffee, and I'll meet you back here in a few minutes. As once again, we walk through the learning curve. Hi, everybody, and welcome back to the learning curve. As I promised you today, we are here with Marcel Bananas Sr. And thank you so much, Marcel. I'm so excited that you joined me here. Thank you.

Well, thank you for inviting me.

I know it's not the norm to hang out in the studio at Shaw Communications, but I think what we have to talk about today is really, really important.

Yeah, it is.

Okay, so first off, I wanted to let the audience know who you are and all the things you do. Okay. Honestly, I know you and I didn't realize all the things you do. When you started listing it off, I was like, do you sleep ever? So, first and foremost, you are the Kishe Anishinaabe Nin worker at the Thunder Bay Indigenous Friendship Center. So I love just saying that. It just sounds so awesome. So what translation, what does that mean?

It's basically saying in English, I am a kind man. And what we're doing is restoring our true father to be fathers. And that's what we're really learning again. So it's going back to the basics and working our way back up to adolescence.

Okay, so what kind of things do you do in the program? What kind of things are participants learning?

Actually, we utilize the community quite a bit because that's one of the things I've learned myself to help myself is to utilize the community and saying that I utilize a lot of the youth to help me get the energy I need. I utilize the elders and getting direction in my own life. Spiritual, mental, physical, all that kind of stuff. Also, I utilize teachers in the community to help me direct me where I need to go, as far as careers, as far as fatherhood lessons. And then we get into the medicine people.

Way to go.

And that helps me get to my name, to my clan, to my colors, and to my own identity. And that's why I'm sitting here today, because it helps me.

Right. Isn't that the truth? It all comes down to. And the more I do this work, the more I understand how important it is to find and have that identity. Now I can't even. I wouldn't be able to do what I do. I wouldn't be able to achieve the things I achieve on a daily basis if I wasn't solid in who I am. And I always think of our youth, and they're still struggling, and they're confused, and that's through no fault of their own. And thank God for programs like yours. That's amazing.

Yeah, we're actually thinking of going into making junior TJ programs in schools. So those are new programs that we're actually talking about now, entering different schools, like Dennis Franklin commodity schools and stuff like that. So these are things a lot of the schools see and a lot of parents see, and that's what they're asking for. So it's actually really great.

That's amazing. And, you know, I know when we talk about our young men, we talk about warriors, but even today, that word has been so misconstrued. It's not about fighting. It's not about power. It's not. You know, that's got nothing to do with it. Being a warrior is that humble, the carrier of those teachings. Right. Standing up for others, looking out for your elders. That's a warrior, right?

Yeah. Even the word warrior itself, for myself and coming from a first nation in Lac la Croix, it's being truth to yourself. And once you find yourself, you actually find you're more gentle, you're more kind, you're more responsible, you're more respectful to not just people, but to environment, to the land, to life itself. So it gives you a different understanding and a better Understanding.

Exactly. You just totally described you. I hope you know that you're the kindest, most gentleman I've ever met. So that's. That's awesome. You also work as an elder for the Lakehead Public Schools. So what kind of stuff does that involve?

Just as late. We do a cultural camp every year for the Lincoln University, with the Lakerd University, and again with the community of Thunder Bay. We utilize a lot of the organizations in the community because it's about giving the youth avenues and different areas that they can utilize to help themselves get to a place they need to get to. So. And what only do these things we actually find, the youth actually find a lot about themselves.

Exactly.

Things about them, about our past, you know, and when they come to that conclusion, they realize it wasn't necessarily their parents fault. We never had those tools.

Exactly.

Yeah. So. And these are the things that I've learned after coming out of CAS and all those things for myself. Foster homes, detention homes with Creighton center, all those things.

I was talking about that in the opening, unpacking that suitcase, looking at the examples you were giving or what you were taught and looking at where that came from. And does that serve you right? Like, was that a positive influence? And is it something I need to carry now? And I think so many of us are on autopilot that we just keep repeating. And that's when it's dangerous, right?

Yeah, exactly. It is. And most of the time, some of the guys will find that answer once they get into too much trouble, you know, or they get to a point where they can't go back anymore because they've gone too far. So we want approach these kids, the men and grandfathers, before they get to that point.

Okay, that makes sense. And you know what, to be fair, I think everyone on the planet, right, you change when you have no choice, right. You hit that wall and it's like, okay, maybe I need to do something different now. Right.

So you don't want to be like me. Because I was actually, when I was 18 years old, just turning 18, young offenders unit, I was actually being transported to Stony Mountain because I was deemed unfit for society. And these are things that I was given and these are the things that I was labeled with because of my behavior, because how my life was. Even prior to that, I tried to commit suicide, which was wrong, but because I was in a place where I felt empty.

Wow.

And it wasn't for Richard Lyons. I'm not too sure where I'd be today.

Exactly.

Yeah. Because he went into those jail systems a long time ago. And I thank him every day. And it's like, when we do our program, we always put out food feasting plates for them because it's for those elders that kept that knowledge, that kept those things for us. That's where my heart is.

And Richard Lyons was out there educating people long before it was the cool thing to do. Yeah, right. Like, he. I know so many people that know that name, whether they're indigenous or not, and they learned so much from that man. So you were labeled unfit for society. I'm sorry. My head exploded when you said that. Like, wow. So were you born and raised in Thunder Bay or on La Croix?

Well, actually, I was born and raised in Long Lake until I was 12, until CES took me, until I became Crown Ward.

Okay.

I was Crown Ward when I was 12, till I was 18, until I aged on.

Okay.

So they were my parents. And during that time, I never had the chance or never had the ability to learn these skills as a father.

Wow. Yeah. Because you didn't have one.

I didn't have one.

You were in the system.

Yeah.

Right. So you were taking at 12. Where were you put? Like a foster home or a group home?

I was putting crayon center. Group home.

Okay. Yeah.

That's where there. A lot of things changed, responsibilities as far as family, I lost touch with all family. And actually, my grandfather once, the last time he came to Croydon center, he actually told me, which broke my heart at that time, was because he told me that I wasn't welcome back home anymore because it was the last time I'm gonna hurt my granny. My granny, she was the one that raised a lot of us. And of course, back in those days, our grandparents were our parents because our parents really never got the chance to learn to be parents.

Exactly.

And for me, my father died in 1975, and it's the same time as my cousin Yvonne. She. Our. Both of our fathers died in the same car accident, and my grandparents ended up raising us.

I swear, every single time I talk to you, I find out so much more. I walk around under this illusion that I know you, and then it's like, wow, my head just exploded again. So, wow. Thank you so much for sharing that. What an incredible journey from where you've been to where you are now and all you do now. Yeah. Unreal. So we're going to take a short break, and we're definitely going to continue this discussion because, again, I have no idea what comes next. You just keep surprising me. So we will Be back. Don't go too far. We want you back here on the learning curve. Welcome back to the Learning curve. I can't believe how fast this interview is going. This is absolutely amazing. So I've got to ask, because before the break, you shared about your younger years and Creighton Youth center and those challenges and the heartbreaking visit with your grandfather. So I gotta ask, because I've got this long list of things you do. Now, if I had to ask you what got you from there to here, what would you say?

For me, like I said, I grew up in a time when a culture wasn't around.

Sure.

I grew up in a tiny community in Long Lac. They never had no culture. They had some language, but no cultural identity or nothing for Anishinaabe to practice. It wasn't until two months after I got out, when I aged out at the England Affinities Unit, I moved to Lac la Croix.

Okay.

And when I moved to Lac la Croix, which at the time was a. Was an isolated reserve, you had to fly in or go by boat or winter by. By skidoo. There. There was. They never had the things I grew up with, the church and all those things, and they knew where I was coming from. But the thing was, they knew I needed. I was missing something. And they gave me that opportunity to learn these things without judging my past.

Wow.

That there itself gave me the incentive to change, because for once in my life, no one wasn't looking down at me because of my. Because of my past.

Thank you.

And it was the elders.

People don't understand why I get so upset when someone sits in judgment of someone else. And you just nailed it. When you've. That's all you've known. That's adding to the problem. It's not helping. It's not building any kind of bridges. What you reminded me of. I don't know if you know Brenda Mason.

Yeah, I know.

Right? So she's an elder in the community, and she. She talked about along the same lines of what you just said, that when someone comes to us, we gotta wrap them like we were wrapping them in a blanket of comfort and support. And you're accepted here. And that's how you start them on the healing journey. You help them to know that they're safe. And here, it's okay.

Yeah, it does. It makes. Makes a world of a difference. When it wants. You give that person that. That power, that incentive to want to change because they need to go on their own, to walk their own journey to learn and find these Things, their own skills. And once they start finding their own skills, you could do anything, right? Everything that I do culturally, I do within my job. I do everything that I do with every position that I've had and every aspect, I do the same for every position. And every time I go into the schools, I bring that same community based teachings.

That's excellent.

And that's the same things the elders gave me. And the big thing was they did it for free. And that's why I go into the schools, universities, in the community, I volunteer. I don't look for that monumental gains. I look for that smile. Because that's a big thing for a lot of our young people, even our elders. So for them to smile, you know, it really means the world to me.

And you feel that, like, I know that in my career now, to be fair, you pay me to run a seminar for you, but no one pays me for teaching because that would go directly against our teachings. But when you're there and you're talking about how valuable they are and the strength that they haven't even realized they carry yet, and you see that smile, right? That's priceless. Then, you know, like, wow. And I always think, I wonder when's the last time they felt that, you know, that they felt that good. And I know in some cases it was the first time that they felt that way.

Exactly. Like even today at this Water for Life powwow, all these things that's going on in that powwow, we had five students from different schools, first time singing around a drum. That's all you see is pride in your face, right? First time drumming, first time being in that atmosphere, that family atmosphere. These boys now, you know, they'll always look back at that. And they're always looking for the future now, you know, they said, hey, Marcel, hey, Nathan, when's the next time? You know, they're always asking for the next time. And that's awesome because that's exactly where we want them to be. Because it's not just the cultural stuff. We actually do a lot of other things for them to learn skills that they can take back home. And that's. And that's a really big thing for them.

It almost sounds like. And it's just an idea that came to me when you were talking that if we want to help people or our youth find a future, we have to give them the past that they missed out on those teachings, like you said, helping them. If we learn how to be a parent by having a parent. So when you're Talking about a situation where you didn't have parents, you don't have that teaching. It's not that you're choosing to ignore them. You don't have those tools. And until you receive those tools, you just can't. Can function.

Yeah. Like, a lot of the things, like, even in the different schools we go in, what you don't see around lots is what we do now is we share around a drum.

Nice.

And when we. The little ones share, they talk about a lot of things, you know, and it's good, you know, because these are things that. That's been missing. These are things that they don't see at powwows, you know, and to have these little ones share some of their deepest sadness, you know, and putting tobacco in that. In that tobacco bag, they're giving something that we can never give them. We're giving them back that home.

And you're giving them a coping mechanism. Right. They now know that they can do this, that they're safe to. To sit at the drum and they can offer that tobacco.

Yeah. And the thing is, the beautiful thing about that is having that identity doesn't take away anything. It gains. You know, there are some people that actually been through a lot and found identity, but now they're finding themselves going back to church because they forgot. They learning to forgive. And for myself, I do. I love my. Who I am. And they see that, and they see it in a lot of the other people, and they see all these things, you know, and they see the positive in what we're doing. And giving them back their true identity gives them a lot of strength to do, overcome what some people. What we see on the streets today.

Exactly. And in the opening, I was talking about. Because there's a huge difference between someone's identity and in those horrific stereotypes. Right. And that's what we got to break away from. I work with so many people that are starting to believe those stereotypes, believing they can't be successful, that they will never have a life that isn't in poverty because they're Ojibwe or Cree or whatever the case may be. And that is so wrong. That's that horrible message that we have to destroy. Destroy.

Oh, yeah. So they give it for myself. When I moved to Thunder Bay, I had to get. I. I came here for surgeries.

Okay.

When I came here for surgeries, I had to leave my home. I left my vehicles, My house was. Was flooded. I. I left everything. I ended up on the streets here in Thunder Bay.

Wow.

And it was people from the Community that took me in their home at that time. I slept on a clothes. Bed of clothes my first two weeks in my own home.

Wow.

But those are the sacrifices we make, though, to better our lives. I wasn't thinking that. I wasn't feeling sorry for myself because I know my ancestors been through this before.

Exactly.

And I know I'm not going to be here for long. I know. Because I see I'm working towards walking that good life and I'm not going to stay in that past. So I walk forward and sure enough, I got a bed. All this stuff. And it took a while, you know, but it's again, it's when you give a little, you get a little bit back. And when you work in the community, when you give in the community, sometimes the community will give back. And working in different fields like myself, what I've been doing, it stretches me out, but it also gives me a better idea of what we need to do in the community to help out.

Wow. You're a beautiful soul. You know that, right? You just are. And I hope when you look in the mirror, you see just a little bit of that because. Wow. I am so thrilled that our paths crossed and I got to meet you and I'm so thrilled that you agreed to come out here today.

So thank you so much for inviting me here. So. And like, again, I'm glad that there's so many positive things happening for everybody right now and it's great to see.

And we got to keep going.

Yeah, exactly.

So for those of you in the audience, thank you so much for tuning in. Again, if you have any suggestions for future topics, some question you just don't understand a conversation that you feel left out of, please send me an email. Sandy Boucher, C.A. and I'll happy to be happy to bring in a guest for a future episode just to talk to that topic. I want you, as always, to take the information in that you received today and use it in future conversations, in future discussions. Let's all make that effort to embrace people. I say it all the time. Judgment burns bridges. But if we can learn to support and encourage each other and walk through the learning curve together, then we're building bridges. Have a great evening or day. Have a great week. Thank you so much. Bye Bye.