Two TINY Little Words That Can Change EVERYTHING!

This is going to be one of those really short but really impactful videos. So I'm really hoping you take the time to watch it. What if I told you there are two words that you already know and use that if you started using them in a new way, you could improve every relationship you have? Intimate relationship, work relationship, parent, child relationship, whatever one it is, this could help. Would you be interested in hearing what those words are? I'm going to guess yes. So let's talk about it. Hi, everybody, it's Andy Boucher here once again. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. And, and as mentioned in the opening today, we're talking about the two little words that can change everything. And you already know these words. Why they're so impactful is literally the back to back teaching. So remember, when you're standing back to back with someone, you can see so much of the room, but the part that's directly in front of the other person you're standing with, you can't see that part of the room and they can't see what is obvious to you. But we live in a society in a time now where people are judged and crucified for not knowing, for not being able to see what is pretty clear. No, it is pretty clear to you. And people with another experience, people of another age, another background, another culture, may not be able to see what's obvious and directly in front of you. That's humility teaching. So what are the two words I'm talking about that everyone knows and we just got to use way more often? To me, it is really cold outside. To me, wow, this room, to me, this room is such a mess. To me, this day was so exhausting. Did you hear the invitation in that sentence? By saying to me, one, you're being totally authentic, you're acknowledging this is just my opinion. Two, you're opening the door to the other person to say, oh, wow, really? Well, to me, I actually thought it was an easy, breezy kind of day. Really sorry to hear you were struggling or oh, seriously, you find it cold. To me, I love these kind of days. I'm a skiing enthusiast and I absolutely love when winter arrives. You are literally holding space for people to be who they are without making it a challenge. You get to learn more about people. It invites them in rather than building a wall. So let's look at the different types of relationships. I don't have teenagers anymore, but I definitely had teenagers at one point. I am now the proud parent of two fully grown adults, fully functioning adults, and I absolutely love that, trust me. For all of those parents worried about their kids going off on their own, there is an absolutely amazing piece that comes with knowing that if something happened to me, my kids would be just fine. Of course they would grieve, but they have all of the skills to function on their own. Why? Because I'm their mom and I gave them the skills to go on without me. Just like my mom did for me. She just didn't tell me how beneficial that would be for me. She kept that a secret. So imagine. Oh my God. I used to butt heads, especially with my daughter when she was a teenager. And I think that's classic mom daughter relationship. But if I had remembered to say to me, your room is a pigsty. To me it makes more sense to jump on your homework right after dinner than waiting till later. To me, that person really doesn't sound like your friend. It allow would have allowed me to share my concerns without coming across as the authoritarian parent that she was fighting against at that time. It also would have encouraged her to take a second to think what is her opinion. We could have had a conversation rather than an argument. And by the way, I don't know if there's any young people watching this, but it works in reverse too. For if my daughter had said to me this, this housework doesn't even seem fair. I have way more to do than my brother does. To me, right? It's just powerful. An adult and parent. I remember those last years in my mom's life when she was older and there were things she did I totally didn't understand. And I have no doubt in my mind that if I had honestly shared mom, to me this doesn't seem like a good idea. Like I just, you must have information that I don't have. Like you mind sharing that with me? To me this seems dangerous. This seems like it could really backfire on you and I'm worried about you. Do you see how to me opens the door to the conversation? And if you start using it, then even your senior parents are going to start using it if they have the mental capacity to. We know some ailments of the elderly is not going to allow that. But then they could honestly start sharing and I'm sorry if your parent is nearing the end of their life journey, don't you want to know how things seem to them? I know that might be different in your culture, in many, many, many, if not all indigenous Cultures we truly value our elders. I wish I had sat down and talked to my mom so much more before she left. And my dad, I was only 17 when he passed. I missed out on a whole bunch not sitting down with him. This still applies to a supervisor employee situation. If you want to empower your employees. Now if you're the micromanaging type, then you're not even watching these videos. You're not interested in empowerment, by the way, anyone, and this is a secret to absolutely no one, is if you have a supervisor that's into micromanagement, they are telling you how insecure they are, end of story. That is a total reflection on them and has nothing to do with you. But if you want to empower your employees, then you say things like, to me, this report is missing something. To me it seems like it should have more details. What do you think? To me, I'm thinking we would have a better chance of them approving our proposal if we added this and that. You're not ordering, you're not demanding, you're sharing your view back to back teaching and an employee as well. To me, you know when it seems it just feels like I've been working so much overtime lately and I'm just getting worried I'm going to burn out. To me that just doesn't seem to make sense long term to me. Supervisor and their boss, same thing again. If you have a, you know, sergeant type military, barking out orders type boss for one, my heart goes out to you. For two, I'm wondering why you work there. For three, you do realize there's other jobs, right? For you do realize your life and mental well being and mental health are way more valuable than your paycheck, right? Just saying if you have a boss that's open to this, I would start doing it anyways. Be the example. I never put my happiness, my well being, my success in the hands of someone else. Be the example. Teach them how a mum's words teach other people how to treat you. Not by how you treat them, but by how they see you treating yourself, how you're acting. So start using. To me, and this comes in so huge and you shouldn't be surprised at all when it comes to a cross cultural relationship because then you are definitely doing the back to back teaching. So to me, I don't understand the significance of this holiday. Is this like super important to you? Like scale of 1 to 10, like I don't need, you don't need to explain to me why and I don't need to agree that it's that important. I need to respect that it's that important. If you tell me it's nine out of ten, well, I'm definitely going to follow your lead on that one, but. So where on the scale is this? Or to me? I don't understand the kids running around all over the place. Freely. I don't want to judge. I'm just. I'm just acknowledging. I really don't understand. I'm accepting I don't understand. To me. To me, this is what I see. But by saying to me, I acknowledge, you might see something else. And it opens the door to me. Hearing it and you singing it to me. Four letters. That can change everything. Let me know your thoughts. I can't wait to hear them. I will see you tomorrow. I love you. Take care. Bye. Bye.