Sandi L. Boucher (Red Thunderbolt, Loon clan, Seine River First Nation, Treaty 3) addresses a persistent stereotype about Indigenous peoples—judgment over family size—and reframes large families as acts of creation and cultural survival rather than evidence of irresponsibility. She shares personal history (married at 20, lost a daughter to SIDS, became a single mother while working for the federal government, and is a survivor of domestic abuse) to illustrate how children provided meaning, survival strategies, and resilience. She invokes another Anishnaabe woman’s phrase "creation is the opposite of genocide" to argue that raising children is part of resisting colonial harm and investing in the future. The piece closes with a plea for empathy and nonjudgment.
Questions this video answers
Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, member of Seine River First Nation (Treaty 3 territory).
She said she got married at age 20.
She disclosed that she lost her first daughter to SIDS.
"Creation is the opposite of genocide."
Chapters
Earlier on in the week, I talked about the dangers of one culture interpreting, misinterpreting another. That often, because of your cultural lens, you're going to believe people do things for a certain reason, but that's based on your culture. Often it doesn't apply to the culture you're looking at, and it ends up it's those misinterpretations that create stereotypes. I wanted to finish off this week by tackling one of the everlasting stereotypes about indigenous people and why you're seeing the real reason why you're seeing what you see. Let's talk about it. Hi, everybody. It's Sandy Boucher here once again. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River first nation in Treaty 3 territory in Northern Ontario. And today we've had a week. We've done a lot. We talked about indigenous centered spaces. We talked about unpacking and unlearning without judgment. We talked about what to expect from an Indigenous engagement trainer, what you can and can't expect. So I thought I would end off the week. Well, not counting my podcast tomorrow. But I wanted to tackle a stereotype that I just, I hear it all the time. Drives me nuts every time I hear it. And it's probably not the one you're thinking of unless you live near an Indigenous community. It is the judgment, and it's always, like, dipped in, like, loathing. These stereotypes have never said nicely, let's get real here, but it's that judgment of the size of our families and how many children we have. And of course, we're going to throw in the. How many baby daddies just to make it entertaining. But like I said, constantly, Constantly. And even, like, I have two children. I had three children. I lost my first daughter to sids. Sorry if that upset anyone, but even when I'm. And I got married young, I got married when I was 20, so I was a very young mom with my kids and didn't have a lot of money. My husband worked full time. But still, still children are expensive. So often I'd be out and about pushing, you know, having a little toddler walking beside the stroller as I had the baby in the stroller. And I would, people would assume that I had older kids at home. People would assume that because I'm Indigenous, I might have seven, eight or nine kids. So for one, what's like, we can do better than that. But what I wanted to talk about today are the families that have five, six, seven, eight kids and why that happens. And this kind of blew me away. So I don't know how you're going to feel about it, but a while back, a girlfriend of mine shared a Facebook post. Young Anishnaabe Kwei. Beautiful, beautiful young woman. Yes, Facially like. Yes. External experience or appearance, but her beauty, physical beauty, pales to the beauty of her spirit and heart. And she shared a post and in it she just like, if there's one thing mom used to always say is wisdom is simple, that we make things complicated. But the just, just that bluntness, that directness, again, wisdom is simple. And in her blog post she shared that creation is the opposite of genocide. The creation is the opposite of genocide. And I gotta admit, that stopped me in my tracks because I became a single mom when my kids were 3 and 1. I was working full time for the federal government, getting to work by 8 or 8:30 and working till 4:30, busing it across the city to pick up my kids at their babysitter, to take them home to make them dinner. I'm not the only one that does this, but I remember on the days when life would just get to be too much and I just, I was exhausted and we didn't have the money to pay the bills and I was lonely and overwhelmed. When all of it got to be too much, I knew exactly what to do. I would take my kids for a walk because that didn't cost any money. And I would look at the world through their lens, through their cultural lens, through their eyes. And suddenly I realized, yes, that dandelion is beautiful. And yes, you're right, that river is pretty amazing. And look at that duck. That duck is funny. It was the best mini vacation ever. It allowed me to have quality time with my kids. And I have said a million times that I don't even want to know where I would have ended up if I didn't have my kids. Because remember, I'm a 10 year domestic abuse survivor. There would have been so many times that I could have. Would have been. There were so many times I was this close to going down a very dark path. And I couldn't because I had two little people that called me mom and were expecting breakfast and cuddles and goodnight kisses. So again, the next time you look and you see that family with so many children and you're tempted to judge, remember, creation is the opposite of genocide. Remember that a baby's laugh can put the smile on most people's faces. And that wrestling with a little person makes you forget how many bills you can't pay. Do not judge people for how they choose to survive, the environments they live in, the environments they didn't create. You've heard me say it before. Indigenous people in Canada are flowers trying to grow in soils doused in gasoline. And our children are seeds for the future because we won't be able to unpack all our pain. Hopefully we can unpack a lot of it so that they have less to work on. I hope that made sense. It has been a phenomenal week. I have totally enjoyed hanging out here with you. I hope you have as well. Thank you for allowing me to share my mom with you yesterday. I super appreciated that. Today I shared a little glimpse of my kids. Tomorrow's podcast day. Not going to tell you what it's about. You'll find out tomorrow. I love you. Take care. Bye Bye.
