Using The WALL to Navigate the Unrest

If you knew how much junk I kicked out of sight just so I could shoot this video, I think you might be surprised, but maybe not. So, once again, how are you doing? Scale of one to ten? One. You're barely keeping it together. Ten. You're crushing it. How are you doing? It's unsettling times. Things are changing. I'm not saying necessarily for the worst, we could go there, but I don't want to go there right now. They're just changing. And we got to do what we can to make sure we're okay through this season of change. And that's what I wanted to talk to you about today. In fact, I wanted to talk to you about the wall. And no, maybe not the one that came to mind for you. Let's talk about it. Mishko Paganon Qu NISH NAKAST MUNDODEM hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. Today I wanted to talk about the wall. My wall. Not that wall, not his wall. So this is a metaphor I've used in videos before and I've used in many seminars over the years. The image is thanks to my amazing graphic designer, because I couldn't draw a stickman if my life depended on it. And the teaching is actually from my elder, Nana or Elsie Quanda Bins, who is now passed on to Spirit World. So the whole idea and this wall metaphor, even though it was originally focused on Indigenous Canadian reconciliation and the fact that my elder was concerned about me, this work, this metaphor can apply to any, any time of unrest or change or uneasiness. So I share it with you today because I'm concerned about you too. And I hope that you can use this metaphor to find solid ground like it has done a hundred times for me. So, first off, here's the image. Now, I want you to imagine that there's a wall, ext. Across Canada from East coast to West Coast. Now, this is not keeping anyone out. That's not what it's designed for. The wall is about the height of a table. It's very easy to get up on or over if you wanted to. And it's wide enough and strong enough that you can get up and dance on it. For the sake of this metaphor, I need you to imagine that on one side lives all the indigenous people that live within Canadian borders, and on the other is all the non indigen Canadians. People like me are dancing on the wall. We are Comfortable. Whether we jump off in the middle of an Indigenous community or in the middle of Toronto or Vancouver, there are many of us dancing on the wall. And these are our people. These are the people we're comfortable with. And you know, when you're with your people, these are the people that get your jokes. These are the people that, when you use that one phrase, laughing because they remember what that refers to 20 years ago, that kind of stuff. These are the people that know the challenges you're facing without you having to share it or explain it. They may even be facing the same challenges. These are the people we laugh with. We don't talk about the challenges half the time when we're with them. We just enjoy the safe space, the space where we can just be us. These people are a breath of fresh air. They feed our soul. They rejuvenate us so we can go back out and deal with the challenges we face. I wanted to share this with you today because it is essential in this time of change and unrest that you find your people. And now, I don't necessarily mean the people with the same political views as you. I mean people that get you, who love you, who support you. You are not in this alone. You got to make sure that you never feel like you are. So that's. We all benefit from spending time with our people. And I know me, I live and work from my home. I have to consciously make a point of reaching out and finding people. And in fact, yesterday I created a new group because I wanted to find even more of my people. It's important. Please do it now. The second group of people represented in the image are the people touching the wall. They want to be up on the wall dancing with us, but what they need is information. In my case, these are the people that come to my seminars or workshops, the people that listen to one of my keynote speeches, or the people that watch one of my videos. For you, it might be someone you work with or someone in your neighborhood. This group is, you know, it's this group because you're able to have a conversation with them, even if you're coming at it from two different sides of an issue. The conversations are respectful. They're filled with questions as you're each trying to understand the other. It might get to debate level, but it never becomes an argument and it's never disrespectful. So it's not as comfy as being with your group dancing on the wall, but it's also not uncomfortable. It's just a learning curve. These People could end up becoming one of your people up dancing on the wall. Or maybe they won't. It really just depends on how often you get to spend time with them and how well those conversations go, those respectful questions. It's nothing wrong with interacting with these people, but you got to make sure you have the capacity to do that. They don't ask for much, they don't drain. But if you're already feeling drained, that is not the time to engage in those conversations. It's the third group that we have to be aware of. And in the image on both sides of the wall, these are people so far away from the wall, they don't believe we're ever going to get past our differences. And you hear, you recognize them, because they say things like why bother in our present time of unrest and change? These people are often the people on social media, especially the ones behind the fake names. Depending on whatever platform you are on, they just come on and they spit out their garbage and, and they want a battle. They're frustrated or whatever the case may be. I don't understand their reasoning. I just understand the damage they cause. These people are like talking to the wall. They're not interested in understanding, they're not interested in asking questions, they're not interested in being, being respectful. They're disrespectful. And you have to protect yourself and limit yourself from these people. Now they may be on social, social media, or often they're in real life. They're that person talking really loud in the restaurant, sharing what he thinks of newcomers because there's newcomers in the restaurant. These are the people that spit out their racist sex. This ageist, homophobic, transforming garbage to affect other people. There is only one thing you can do with these people and it shut them down. Which means if you run across them on social media, if it's on your thread or post, then you block, delete them. You don't interact with them, you don't try to reason with them. They're not touching the wall. They are not open to learning. All you will do is get hurt or exhaust yourself or both. And your mental health and well being are on the line here. Shut it down. And in real life, you have to say something. I came across a quote this Albert Einstein, you know, it's not. The world is dangerous not because of what evil people do, but because of all the people that do nothing. That's a paraphrase and I did a lousy job. I'll put it on the screen so you can see the real Quote, you have to say something. And I've done videos where you can just say ouch so that everyone in the room realizes what was just said caused harm. They won't be looking at you. They'll be looking at the person that caused the harm. You can tell them to be quiet. You can say, not in my city. We don't believe that garbage Here. Smart enough. Or sometimes you don't even need to say anything at all. And every single time I think my phone is. Or my watch is vibrating here, every single time I think of this situation, I think of something that happened a few years ago with a girlfriend. Yes, we were in a bar. We were having an afternoon cocktail, and she smokes. So she was going to go outside to have a cigarette. It. I'm not going to sit in a bar by myself. So I went to join her. And as we got up, a friend of hers who was in another part of the room noticed her. I guess he didn't see her earlier or whatever the case may be. I had no idea this was happening. But as we went to go out the door, he yelled out, hey, Indian. Because that's the joking term he refers to her as. I did not even think about it. It was not a conscious thought. I instantly spun around to see him. My girlfriend grabbed my arm. Sandy, no. Don't know what she thought I was gonna do. But to his credit, he saw the expression on my face. He saw I was not impressed. He instantly turned blood red, started apologizing. I'm so sorry. It's just a joke between us. It's something I say all the time. And I just looked at him and said, but it's something you're never going to say again, right? And he agreed that that would be a good idea. We have to stop creating safe spaces for racism or safe spaces for homophobia or transphobia or sexism or whatever the case may be. We have to speak up. Like I said, for me, it's not even a thon anymore. So, bottom line, in these uncertain times, I need you dancing on the wall as often as you can. Yes, it's great and wonderful to turn up the tunes and dance by yourself, but you need to be around other people that just get you and just love you. And if you don't have those people, then you have to find those people, not online. In real life. There is something valuable in feeling the energy from people who accept you. And yes, I enjoy those conversations. The people with the people that are open to learning, they don't attack, they don't insult because if they do that means they're group three and I don't have time for that. Non indigenous education cannot be at the price of indigenous pain. We have suffered enough. I am not a target. I'm here to help people understand. I don't endure intact attacks. That's how you keep yourself safe and sane in the middle of unrest. I hope this helped you. You know what, if you would love a copy of this image send me an email. I'd be happy to send it to you. You can keep it as your desktop pic. You can print it and put it over your desk or put it on your mirror wherever you're going to see it. Just remember, please remember as often as you can dance on that wall. It's the weekend now so you take care of you and I'll see you next week. I love you. Take care. Bye bye.