Sandi L Boucher explains walking softly as mindful communication that respects others' backgrounds. She shares a story from Boulevard Lake about ancestral quiet steps, then offers practical advice: re-read before posting, use I-statements, avoid shaming, and speak up against oppression.
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Communication is everything, but it is so much more than just choosing your words carefully. We have to understand and acknowledge that what the other person hears is part of communication. Otherwise you're just talking to yourself. And what they hear is adjusted, warped, morphs into something new. Based on their past experience, based on their past interactions with people like you. Whether it's the color of your skin, the position you're in, the location you're both in, whatever the case may be, there can be so many things that play into it, which is why I always advise people to walk softly. But you may not know what that means. So let's talk about it. Foreign. Hi everybody. My name is Andy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. And today I wanted to talk about walking softly. So this is a phrase I've used for years to describe that careful communication with each other, but it really was highlighted for me. This is several years ago now, I'm going to say probably 10 years ago now when I went for a walk in my favorite location. Here in the city I live in, we have a man made lake and you can walk around the lake. It's like a five kilometer walk. It's very picturesque and beautiful and relaxing. You get in, exercise and rejuvenate, lots of green space. It's beautiful, absolutely beautiful. If you happen to come to the city of Thunder Bay, you have to check out Boulevard Lake. Little travel tip for you. I have no idea why I did it, but I was starting on my walk like I had done a million times before and, and I was thinking how my Anishinaabe ancestors, my Ojibwe ancestors, walked on their toes a quieter walk often because they're out hunting and the survival of their family depends on them being able to move through the bush in a stealth manner. I decided to try it. Now I. I tend to walk pretty heavy. My son, we always tease him because he is not a small man. He's a big northern boy who makes absolutely no noise when he moves. He has the ability to sneak up on anyone and it is just his natural way of walking. But I decided to do this for one into conscious effort. I had to think about how I was placing every. My foot for every step, which meant it was probably the most conscious walk I have ever taken. Secondly, it, it slowed me down. I couldn't, I wasn't doing power walking. I wasn't getting it done as fast as possible. All the things we do in mainstream to achieve goals, things I do running my business. Instead I was just incredibly conscious of how I was putting my foot on mother Earth. I was treading softly. I was walking softly on mother Earth and as a result not hurting her. So when I talk about walking softly in communication, it is being incredibly conscious of potentially the background of the person you're communicating with. Don't make assumptions. But you can have some information and for chances are great. Just keep it in mind. Walking softly is never going to hurt you. It's never what talking down to someone is not walking softly, but you can be conscious of it. So when do we need to be conscious of this? And yes, handy dandy index cards here, your written word. I think we've all gotten a little too comfy with just spitting out what we think. Instant responses to what someone typed on social media, somewhat someone shared in a video, just blah. Now of course if you go watch my YouTube channel video, you know, in this space we don't do that. We absorb, we listen, we contemplate. We don't just spin out comments because they'll be deleted. So. But if and when you do spit out those comments, don't spit out those comments. Walk softly. Choose carefully your words before you hit send. Reread it. Are you insulting anyone? Are you attacking anyone? I wish I could say that on my channel. I never see racism or sexism or nationalism or. Or what was classism. Let's attack the rich. Like all of those are deleted. This is a safe space. Nobody gets attacked here. Just because you're not attacking indigenous does not make you an ally. Because if you're attacking someone else, I know you have the capability of doing it. That doesn't make me want to bring you in as an ally. So written word especially now I'm going to backtrack for a sec. If we're talking about your journal or your diary or whatever the case may be, knock your socks off. Get those feelings and emotions out. That's why we journal. You can use whatever wording you want. You can say whatever you want. But by the way, if your private words and your public words, besides emotional dumping and healing, if they're like opposites to each other, then your public self is inauthentic. I hope you realize that they should be in line. Even if your written words in private or tend to be more emotional and we don't care about grammar, the written word in public. We gotta get way better at walking softly. Now the same thing goes for spoken word. I choose carefully my words when I Do these videos or my seminars or my speeches, because I'm a huge advocate. My spaces do not include shame and guilt. They don't include denial. But I'm not about to attack anyone. We're going to look at the facts, we're going to accept the facts, and we're going to work together on the solution. No shame or guilt. But if you deny it, we can't move forward. So again, the spoken word, privately talking to yourself. I hope you're saying incredibly nice things to yourself. Speaking in public. Again, let's walk softly. Remember that silence. I want you to choose your words carefully, but I don't want you to stay silent when you come up against an oppressor, when you come up against racism or sexism or nationalism or classism, or. Because silence is acceptance, which means you're accepting a society that allows those things. And by the way, if anyone wants to scream freedom of speech at me right now, for one, it's different in Canada. For two, it's not freedom from consequences. I say it all the time. You say something stupid to me, you're going to deal with the consequence. That's. That's what comes. You can't. You want to say just whatever, deal with the consequences. But for those that overhear those comments, I need you to realize that silence always benefits the oppressor. You cannot be an ally. If you are not saying something, then you're. It's performative. You're just saying you're an ally. It's a name tag, it's not a fact. And we need way more people speaking up because white silence is a thing and we're dying because of it. So use your voice whenever you can, but walk softly. You do not need to attack the person that said something horrific. You can just say, not in my city. Sorry, that's disrespectful, that's rude. And I don't want to hear that. That's not attacking, that's I statements. But it makes a point and might even encourage someone else to speak up. So now, in future videos, if you hear me saying walking softly now, you know. I hope you enjoyed this member only video where you get those extra tips and tricks and clues. Why? Because I love that you're in my membership and if I can support you, I am so gonna do that. Until next week's members only video, tomorrow's daily video. I love you. Take care. Bye bye.
