A short YouTube talk by Sandi L Boucher in which she recounts a personal revelation while travelling that exposed an inaccurate, long-held self-belief rooted in past domestic abuse. She describes how unpacking that story—realizing she is capable and ‘smart enough’—was another increment in her healing, and encourages viewers (particularly Indigenous women and survivors) to examine and release harmful stories they still carry.
Chapters
Now every now and then I do an incredibly personal story in that I use my own life experience or things that happen in my day to day life. I share them because I think they could really impact or help viewers watching this video. And for those who have watched my videos, any, not any one of them, but if you've watched several of my videos, there's a really good chance you have heard me say that I'm a 10 year domestic abuse survivor. And to anyone who has walked that path, you know, that takes some serious unpacking. Now, one of the things I love to tell my audiences is I believe I'm living proof that your past doesn't have to be your future because of that experience. There was a time I couldn't have sat at a table and talked to people I didn't know at a conference and look what I do for a living now. But healing comes in increments and I believe that, like you have to seek out healing, you got to put in the effort. It's not just going to happen. Time heals all things. Baloney. If you don't unpack the stories that you tell yourself, you could end up carrying some inaccurate stories for a long time. And recently I had an incident that sounds so negative recently, something happened where I not only realized the story I was still carrying the inaccurate story I was still carrying, but I realized it no longer applies. And the grin on my face is real because it was amazing. And today I wanted to share that with you. So, so let's talk about it. Foreign. Hi everybody. My name is Andy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. And as I mentioned in the opening, I recently had a revelation that just allowed me to do just one more increment in my healing. And I happen to believe, like I said in an earlier video a couple weeks ago, that we're all wounded to some extent, we've all been hurt and then we're all on a healing journey. And if we're still here, there's still things we need done pack. So I want to paint the picture for you. I was traveling to do an event and connections aren't always the greatest. Excuse me, I haven't yawned in a video in so long. Anyways, so long story short, I flew into Pearson Airport in Toronto and I had like three, four hours to kill before my, my, I took my little shuttle to go to London, Ontario for my event. So I had eaten breakfast, I think My flight was like 10:00am I got into Pearson at like noon, but I wasn't catching a shuttle to like 5 o'. Clock. I knew, and then I wouldn't get into London until like 7, 8 o' clock by the time I got into my hotel and I knew, okay, I'm on a healthier path now, trying to take care of the body, trying to get in the workouts and eat healthier. And I knew that was just too long of a time to go without eating problem. Because I'm a domestic abuse survivor, the idea of wandering off on my own in a different city, in a huge airport, in wherever that I'm not, it's not my comfort zone, is not something I do. And I always believed it was because I was scared that, that, you know, I was going to get lost and it would put. Make me vulnerable and I'd run into someone that was going to do me harm. That's not, please don't judge that. That's not uncommon for a domestic abuse survivor. That was the story I carried. But I was hungry and I wanted to eat something, so I wandered down the hallway I was in. At first, you know, like, what's the big deal? You walk down the hallway, you can always turn around and just come back. No biggie. Of course, nothing I wanted was in that hallway. There was nothing in that hallway and just other people waiting. So that meant I had to take the elevator and go up to the next level. And I, I could feel myself on the elevator starting to get a little more anxious and I was like, you know that fear of getting lost. And suddenly it just popped into my head like, sandy, what's the big deal? When you get off the elevator, check out what the sign says, check out what's near the elevator, whether it's a store or a gate or, you know, the number with the gate, whatever. Find the marker so you can find your way back. You're smart enough to be able to do this. And that's when the lightning bolt hit. Because you see, all of these years I thought I wasn't exploring new cities, new towns, airports, because I was afraid that I'd get lost and be vulnerable and get hurt. And in that moment, I realized I wasn't doing that. Because in my past, there were people that told me I wasn't smart enough to figure out things that people that I loved would be at risk if it was up to me to make sure they were okay. And I just stopped in my tracks and I was thinking to myself, how long have I still Listened to that voice from the past. How long have I let someone else's opinion, someone else's insult, impact the level to which I can enjoy my life? I am an incredibly intelligent person. I don't say that to look down on anyone. It's just reality. And I can figure out how to notice an airport sign to be able to come back. And I did just that. I went and bought myself a sandwich, bought myself something to drink. I came back without any problem. Took the elevator down right to where I needed to be to catch my connecting little shuttle. So ask yourself why you're not doing what you're doing. Dare to look at. And I know it's because you're afraid. But why are you afraid? What are you believing? What? Who are you believing? What is the message that you're still carrying? And what is it costing you? What is it stopping you from doing? I know I can find my way around the city. I have the means and the cell phone. GPS is a thing. Google Maps is a thing. So it was never my fear of harm. It was me still believing I wasn't smart enough to do it. And that is dead wrong. So thank you for listening. I know this is a little off the beaten path, but for indigenous women in Canada, domestic violence, the statistics are ridiculous. And this is a journey that many of us are taking. I just really hope that you take the time to look at those stories we're still telling ourselves. Are we still listening to someone we should have never listened to in the first place? Instead, how about you listen to me? Because I'm going to tell you, you're amazing. You're on purpose. You are needed. You are loved. And I am so glad that our paths have crossed. Until tomorrow. I love you. Take care. Bye. Bye.
