What is Holding You Back?

Hello, you absolutely amazing person, you. Today we're going to talk about mindset. How you look at things and what you're looking at. And even we're going to touch on the stories you tell yourself, or at least a story I was telling myself that held me back for way longer than it had the right to. Today's all about mindset, which is everything when you're marginalized, racialized, or feel like the world's you. The right perspective, the right mindset can change everything. So let's talk about it. Bonjour. Mishko Paganan, Queen Addition across Hi, everyone. My name is Andy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. And as I said in the opening today, I want to talk about mindset. I think you can tell from my videos I consciously, with intention, I pay attention to what I'm taking in. I take in motivational things, inspirational things, things that help me keep my mind in a healthy place, in a place where I believe in myself and believe in my future. Because for marginalized and racialized people, it would be so, so easy to go to the negative. It is also why my inner circle is so incredibly small. I hang out with successful, ambitious people who believe they have the ability to change their lives and their future, and that's essential. If I hung around with people who woe is me and it's the government's fault and it's my neighbor's fault and it's my partner's fault, it's. It would literally devastate my career. So I have two handy dandy index cards today, and the first one I wanted to share with you is what I call a lightning bolt moment. And other people might call it an aha moment. I've even heard them referred to as Oprah moments. So that's that moment of clarity where just something is said or you see a quote or something and it just changes everything. Now, as I said, I've understood that my mindset and believing that I can achieve what I want to achieve, I've known that was important for years. I watch and listen to inspirational things every single day. But probably, well, it was before lockdown, so probably 2018, 2017, I decided that I wanted to look into having a business coach. I had done it at one point in the past. It was something I wanted to look into again. And no, it was actually after lockdown because. And I know this because during lockdown, I think we were all Feeling kind of isolated, I definitely wanted to have some interaction with people. So at that time, I joined an online women's networking for entrepreneurs and business women. And one of the women in the group not only was a business and personal coach, I think, but a couple other women in the group had used her services. And we're ranting and raving. So her name is Jen Smollett and I'm going to put her info in the the video notes because if you're interested, I like highly, highly recommend. It was worth every penny I paid. Jen is phenomenal. So compassionate, so understanding, but so good at getting you where you need to go. So it's not just holding your hand, it's really moving you to the next level. So. And Jen happens to be in the uk, which I just love technology. It didn't matter that I'm in Canada and she's across an ocean. We set up our zoom meetings and away we went. And that's when the aha moment happened. Now, there was two things, I guess, that happened that I wanted to share with you. Just looking at my notes here. Oh, the first one, I don't know if you've ever done this. I don't know if you're in business or an entrepreneur or considering it or know someone who is. But I used to refer to being lucky. I was so lucky that I made 30,000 in my first year. I was so lucky that, you know, past clients would reach out to me and bring me back. I was so lucky that, you know, someone found me on the Internet and dared to take a chance and asked me to do a seminar for them. And that is one of the first things Jen got me to unpack. She kind of just. And of course, this is my interpretation. Jen is a beautiful, kind soul. But she was, you know, pointed out to me, you're not lucky. You worked for all of that. You have this amazing website with all of this content. That's why they wanted to hire you and your past customers reach out to you to come back because they loved what you did. That's not lucky. That's the results of your hard work. Now, if you don't understand why that's important, you don't have control over luck. So as long as I believed that I was successful in business because I was lucky, the stress level stayed incredibly high. When I realized people were reaching out to me and hiring because of the effort and the hard work that I continually fully put in, that is something I can control. So it was like, okay, as long as I keep Doing what I'm doing and putting out quality information and, you know, sending messages and really caring about the people I work with, the success will continue. So she saved me a lot of stress in that area, but that wasn't the lightning bolt. And this literally changed everything for not only my company, but my life. So, and. And if you're a woman watching this, I don't care your cultural background. This is going to resonate. I just know it. So now I was enjoying some success. My company was building. I had actually reached out to Jen because I wanted to build it even bigger. And during one of our conversations, which is where, you know, you start talking and you end up revealing things you didn't even realize that you were thinking. And I shared with her that at different points in time, I worried about taking up too much space. And that's a female thing. That's a societal instructions that we must never be too much too loud, laugh too loud, be too successful, be too confident. We must literally not take up too much space physically. And with my success or using my voice, I had shared that I was starting to feel like maybe I was taking up too much space. I will never forget Jen's response. She, like, she didn't interrupt me. Jen would never do that. But immediately after me sharing that, she just said like. And I'm paraphrasing here, but the equivalent of ohana, you don't take up space, you create space. I couldn't feel it now. I almost started crying that just the thought of creating space for other women to be able to use their voice, creating spaces for people to ask their questions and get answers. And now that has morphed into my hashtag. I create safe spaces because I take great pride in that. Whether you're indigenous or non, I create a safe space where you can say, I don't even know what reconciliation means, or I don't understand why this phrase is offensive. Can someone please explain this to me? And we have those discussions. It's one of the reasons I love my career so much. But if I had remained scared of taking up too much space, I wouldn't have the career I have right now. So thank you, Jen, for the lightning bolt moment. I don't take up too much space. I create space for the people that follow me and to honor the people that walked ahead of me. That's my lightning bolt moment. Now, the second, second part of this is I was talking about mindset, and this is, where are you spending your time? I was. I told you I was watching an inspirational Video. I know you're shocked. It was an At My Lip video. I know, I know. And he was. I gotta look at my card here. It's Rob Dyerdeck. Probably murdered. The last name. I'll put it down here. He's the host and producer of the podcast Ridiculousness. I definitely have to check out that podcast. So he was saying then you got to look at where you spend your time in your mind, and there's five different places. So if you spend all your time thinking about your past, what you did, what happened to you, or whatever, you are dwelling. You were dwelling in the past, and that's not going to help you because you're not doing anything. You're just staying there and that time has passed. If you are worried or working on rectifying what happened in the past, whether you're doing your personal healing or making amends or whatever it is, well, that's the past, present. So, yes, you're in the present, working on the past. That's not a bad thing. You could be totally in the moment. In the present, you could be planning for and working towards your future. So that's future, present. And then you could spend all your time in the future. And he calls that wishing. Because if you're not doing anything in the present, then that will always just stay a wish. So what Rob was saying is you got to do your best to bu between the middle three, the rectifying the past, being in the moment and receiving all the gifts here and now, and planning for your future. So I thought that was amazing because I know people stuck in their past. I know people actively rectifying it and healing. I love the people that are present in the moment with you, but also planning for their amazing future. And sadly, I know way too many people that are just wishing. And that makes me think of my days on a bar stool, because that's definitely an environment where you can find either a lot of past or a lot of future and not a lot of action in the present. Now, if you thought that was amazing, Rob wasn't done yet. He said, you also have to look at how you are in the space, how you behave, so you can be totally inactive, not doing anything. Next level up is reactive. And I've warned about that in many, many videos. That's putting someone else in charge of your life. Don't do that. There is proactive, where you're taking plans, but this is where Rob's got my attention because there's a fourth level. So inactive, reactive, proactive. And then he calls the fourth level, magnetic. And what he means by that, he describes Madden Magnetic is that space and time, that place in your mind where you get answers without asking the question. It just comes to you. That's that higher level. And I that got me excited because I know that space. Now first off, I got to be fair. I thought of our elders or elders who just have the answers coming to them. Whether it's in ceremony or whether it's in their pondering their walk in the bush, whatever it is, when they're in their space, in their zone, being who they are, they get the answers. It's not about control, it's about being in a good space. I know for me on the treadmill or the shower, I'm just going to get answers that I needed. Coincidentally, that is often where I am when I get the ideas for these videos. Wow. And I 100% believe that is creator telling me what you need to hear. What will help you on your journey. That is not me, that is. I'm not egotistical enough to think. I definitely know what you need. It's not about my brain. Yes, I have knowledge. But what would help you? I'm not just here to Babel, I want to help. So remember the four levels. Inactive, not where you want to be. Reactive. It's going to happen, but please don't stay there. Proactive. Absolutely love it. And when you're in a good space and please do everything you can to get to a good space, that's when it's magnetic and you just start figuring things out. Maybe it's an age thing, I don't know. But I love the feeling of being in that stage and I spent. I don't spend a lot of time rectifying the past or in the past. If I go to the past, it's a positive memory. Like I shared in yesterday's video. I'm definitely working on planning for my future and being in the moment. And I do that either. Being proactive every chance I can, being magnetic. So what about you? What. What stage are you in and what level are you at in those stages? Do you. You can share it in the comments if you're comfy with it or at least answer the questions for yourself because this is your journey and only you know what success looks like for you. Until tomorrow. I love you. Take care. Bye Bye.