What IS Lateral Violence? (Final Video - New Editing Program)

So we're gonna try this again. I just shot this entire video, explained so much, and then for some reason, my camera died and it didn't work, and here I am again. So hello, you absolutely amazing person, you. And thank you so much for checking out my video. Now I've got a grin on my face today. I am kind of laughing as I went to do this video, even for the second time, because if you follow my channel, you know, I'm Misko Paganon Kwei. I'm Red Thunderbolt Woman. I am the lightning bolt moments. I'm that quote that reminds you or clarifies things for you. I don't attack people, but I'm definitely not known for being subtle. And I'm laughing because my viewers, the people that watch my YouTube channel or my YouTube videos are not subtle. E. Back at the beginning of October, I decided to try something new. I did a full video on Monday, and then Tuesday to Friday, I would share clips from that video. You guys didn't like that? I see my viewership numbers, and yes, those are important to me. I earn revenue when you watch my videos. So you're helping support my work so simply by watching this. And holy moly's, you guys did not like those clips. So the good news is this week, starting now in November, we're going back to a different full video every single day. So you're getting your educational knowledge more than just once a week. But this week is going to be a little bit different. Now, I want to be clear. I'm not going to be doing this every week. But I've been receiving so many requests for Lateral violence seminars lately that even my team are going, wow, what's going on? And I've always said, like Lateral Violence training, the seminars I offer easily the most important work I do because these seminars have the potential to. To invoke the greatest change, positive change, much needed change. It's also totally heartbreaking to do because every single time I do one, I wish it was my last one. I wish we would stop attacking each other. I wish we would treat each other like we're people of value, even though colonialism tries to ingrain a different story in our brains. So this week is going to be different because this week I'm focusing on lateral violence. Today we're going to talk about what that is. Um, I'm actually going to show a clip from my the Pathway from Lateral Violence Training course, something I use in seminar. So you're getting the exact same content and then at the end, stick around to the end. Because then I have a new shorter definition that might clear up things for you tomorrow. On Tuesday, we're going to talk about where lateral violence comes from. Why does this keep happening? Oh, actually, no. Where it comes from is Tuesday. Wednesday is the two biggest lies about lateral violence and why it keeps happening. Thursday, we're going to really dive in what lateral violence is and isn't, because often people get accused of being laterally violent and that's not what it is at all. And last but not least, of course, we're finishing off the week with how to overcome it. Whether you're indigenous or marginalized and suffering from it, there's steps you can take. And if you're trying to help someone that suffering from it, there's steps you can take as well. So that's for this week. We are back to a different video every single day. I have heard your silence was loud. So welcome back. Let's jump into it. In other words, let's talk about it. Hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Bouget. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River, First Nation in Treaty 3 territory in Northern Ontario. And as I mentioned, this week, I am focusing in on lateral violence. I'm responding to the requests I'm getting. I'm about to do my fourth lateral violence training session in like the last month, and I haven't done them for like a year. So something is definitely going on out there that is not a negative. That means a whole bunch of groups and people and entities are now want to take the steps to finally put lateral violence behind us. That's something that should be celebrated. But before I say anything else, do you know what lateral violence is? Let's talk about it. What I'm going to share now, as I said in the opening, I'm going to share a clip from my course, the Path Away from Lateral Violence. Watch the clip. And then at the end, I'm going to come back and give you a shorter definition that I think is really going to help you identify it when you're experiencing it or observing it amongst your staff or group or whatever the case may be. So first, here's the clip from my course, the Path Away from Lateral Violence.

So now that you know who I am and why this is so important to me, let's talk about this whole.

Idea of lateral violence.

First and foremost, if you go look at your personnel policies, I'd be willing to bet if there's a policy that references lateral violence, they're Going to say that there's three different types of lateral violence. Harassment is one of them, discrimination is the second, and bullying is the third. Now, those are very specific legal definitions, but we know that it's way more personal than that. What I'm talking about is the lateral violence that we experience in our families, in our homes, in our communities, and, yes, even in our office places. So I came up with a definition, and this is mine and mine alone. And you can feel free to argue it. In fact, in the homework, you're going to get a chance to write your own. So if you don't like it, you get to change it. That's empowering. I have it written on the screen just behind the My camera here.

So if you see me looking off.

In the distance, I'm not ignoring you. I just want to make sure I get the exact wording right so when we put the text on the screen, I won't confuse you. So here is my definition of lateral violence. Passive or aggressive words or actions delivered by someone you know, love or trust intended to discourage you from advancing. Let's try that again. Passive or aggressive words or actions delivered by someone you know, love or trust intended to discourage you from advancing.

Now, that's a big, long definition.

So let's look at the parts I mentioned that the words or actions could be passive. Well, when I decided to go to college and I was going to be the first one in my family to do that, my mom, out of sheer love and concern, simply said, you sure you want to do that? Believe it or not, that's lateral violence in its passive form. It had me stop in my tracks, and suddenly I went from excited to going away to college to, is this something I really want to do? Is this a lot scarier than I think? Mom's nervous. My mom's the bravest woman in the world. Why would she be nervous? Maybe I shouldn't be doing this to see how it almost held me back. That's lateral violence or it's aggressive being told, you can't do that. You're never going to be allowed to do that. Why do you think you have the ability?

Why do you think they're going to hire you?

Why would anyone read your book? Sadly, I've heard them all. Why lateral violence is so devastating is because those words or actions are delivered by someone you know, someone you love or someone you trust. This is not the unknown troll on the Internet making a comment. That's not lateral violence. Lateral violence is someone right next to you at the same level Your partner, your parents, your elder in your community. Because we've all been trained in lateral violence. As indigenous people, we have a masters in lateral violence. So we shouldn't be surprised when we run into it. That doesn't mean it's right. It has to be changed. That's the reason we're doing this course. But it is most definitely common. And the greatest indicator are the hints that you should recognize this is lateral violence, is that it's intended to discourage you from advancing. So someone trying to talk you out of bidding for that new job, going away to college, trying that diet, going to that new restaurant that you've never been to before because. And it's an upscale restaurant, and they're trying to say you don't belong there. Do you see how this is very limiting? Lateral violence is incredibly discouraging. And that's why it's so important we educate ourselves on it and overcome it. What you have to keep in mind, the closer the relationship, the more impact the lateral violence is going to have. If it's an ant that you haven't seen in ages who says something, sure, it might catch you off guard, but you're going to dismiss that a lot more than the man or woman you love saying, why do you think they're gonna hire you? Do you see what I mean? It is still lateral violence, which means it's not based in fact, it's training, unfortunately. And we're gonna look at that so you truly understand it by the end of this course.

So what did you think of the video? I hope you enjoyed it. Trying to think. I think I had dark hair in that clip, right? We won't touch on that. I promise to give you a shorter version, a shorter definition of what lateral violence is. So it's in very short and sweet. Any action or words that the intent is to keep you small. So you just got your driver's license. It's like, so, so what? Who cares? What, you think you're better than me now? You just got your degree, you think, what? Why are you here? You're better than us now. It's encouraging people not to celebrate their successes. And in with indigenous communities and organizations, we're so used to acknowledging our traumas, but we forget to balance the feather and celebrate those success, successes. Anytime someone said, or why do you think they're going to hire you? Lateral violence, right? Anything that reduces you stops, your joy stops. Because if you're thrilled with celebrating you got a driver's license, then you're going to be tempted to achieve something else. But if I can minimize it, maybe you won't. So that's what lateral violence is. And it is rampant in our communities tomorrow. And we're going to talk about where this comes from. And if you're observing this, well, tomorrow is going to help. You're going to end up understanding what you're seeing if you watch tomorrow's video. So I'm dying to know, what did you think of today's videos? Put the comments below and please come back tomorrow. Also share this video not everyone's going to be able to come to a seminar or workshop of mine. I wish they could. I wish they would reach out so I could help them and we could finally put this behind us because it needs to be behind us. But if that's not a possibility, then please at least share this video with anyone you think is experiencing lateral violence. Being held back by someone. Because this is valuable information that could truly help them. Which is why I wanted to dedicate the whole week to this topic. Until tomorrow. I love you.

Take care. Bye Bye.