What to Ask When Someone Disrespects You!

Okay. So if you've been on my channel for any length of time, you know that I love me a good quote, especially the kind that stops you in your tracks, that makes you realize that those seven, ten words just summed up everything and maybe even opened the door or added some clarity for you. So I have a quote I want to give you and then we're going to discuss some things today. So here's the quote. Our attitude towards people determines how we treat them. One more time. Our attitude towards people determines how we treat them. Let's talk about it. Hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, the a proud member of Seine River First Nation and Treaty 3 territory in northern Ontario. And I don't know about you, but if you're bipoc, if you're black, indigenous or a person of color, I'm thinking that quote just summed up everything for you. I know. That's how I reacted. It's like, you know what? It's, it's a shout out or a calling out of all those bosses, supervisors, teachers who have an attitude towards indigenous people, like prejudices is what I'm talking about. And actually think we can't tell that they actually have convinced themselves that they are supporting indigenous students as much or even in some cases more than they would other students. Bs. Hardcore bs. Because you know what, if you believe someone's not intelligent enough or this is a waste of your time to teach them because they're never going to do anything with it, the attitude shows. It shows in your work, it shows in your commitment, it shows in your support, it shows in how you phrase things. So right off the bat, let's knock that right out of the room and just realize you got an attitude. It's obvious you're not fooling anyone.

So which brings me into my main.

Point today, and I think I have done this, so. And I'm totally owning that.

I'm wondering if you've ever suggested to.

Someone that they accept, accept someone as they are. Right? So I know, I sent it to my kids. You know, they had a certain someone in their life that was constantly disappointing them. I advised them to not assume the person was going to keep their promises.

To accept them the way they are.

You know, I wrote down no handy dandy index card. I emailed myself again, you can't expect more from so and so. You know, they taught you that you can't expect more, better from so and so because they've taught you that.

So.

I agree that we got to accept who a person is. I don't agree that we have to accept the behavior towards us of a certain someone. And that's where today's video comes in. Especially if that person we're referring to, you know, they're living at their lowest common denominator. They are not living up to all they've meant to be. They're not showing their kind heart, they're not using their intelligence, whatever the case may be. So here's what I'm saying. You got someone who's constantly telling mistruths, I need you to expect more from the liar and to tell them that you expect more. I need you to expect more from the thief. I need you to expect more from our leadership and expect more from parents and children. Why? Because if there's one thing that my careers, both of them have taught me is people will live up to the bar you set for them. If you matter at all to them and you think they're an amazing person and you tell them they're amazing person.

They'Re going to try their damnedest to be an amazing person for you.

But if you call them down and look down on them and make it.

Obvious that you could care two beans then don't expect amazing behavior because they know where the bar is set. They can feel it. They're going to live up to it, expect their best. Because anything less is the excuse they need. And I honestly believe it's. I believe that's why my seminars are popular with non indigenous people. Because I believe that the people that come to my seminars want to be allies or already are.

I believe that the people that come to my seminars are interested in learning, they want to do better, they want to be on the right side of history. Which is also why I charge extra for mandatory training. You're gonna force your staff members to show up at my training. That means more emotional labor and risk for me. And yes, you're paying for that because I work with people that are ready to learn in here. The problematic people do not come to my seminars. And if you're gonna force them to be there, well, like I say, I pay extra for that. Now in my world, remember you're Talking to a 10 year domestic abuse survivor here. I couldn't think of a time when it didn't feel anyone in my world supported me. Nowadays I expect kindness and respect. I expect open communication, I expect honest communication. And when there's an issue, I expect that we're going to talk it out. And guess what? That is exactly what I receive from every single person in my world. And that is not an accident. That is my conditions. And if you want to be in my world or even if you want to work with me, that's how it's going to be. One of the best parts of running your own business. I'll pick and choose who I work with. And no, I am not sacrificing my health, my mental well being or my business by working with someone who's problematic. And I have walked away from some pretty big contracts because they had an attitude or wanted to put me in a box or expected low, low things from me. I just don't play that game anymore.

So if you're not happy with the way you're being treated, I can hear.

My mom loud and clear. Teach other people how to treat you. You want them to be kind to.

You, they need to see you being kind to you.

You want them to respect you, they.

Need to see you respecting you. And if you want them to listen to your boundaries, they need to see you listening to and defending your boundaries. You decide what you put up with. And putting up with something is permission. So remember, our attitude towards people determines how we treat them. I forget which. Oh, I forget his name. The online psychology dude. He always says that. I'll put his name down below. I'm so bad at remembering names. He always says actions are a language. If people are showing you they have no respect for you, take that to the bank. Don't hang out with people that don't have respect for you.

So what do you think?

I would love to hear who I know you've had these experiences no matter what your background is or nationality or ethnicity. Ethnicity.

Love that word.

What is your experience? Tell me about the people whose attitude.

Was obvious to you even when they.

Didn'T share the words.

And none.

I'm not talking, you know, unhealthy people that were just paranoid and think everyone looked down on them to hear self a favor dude, if that's you, get some healing. I am a very empowered and I'm person and I've done a lot of healing but I can hear attitude loud and clear.

Which reminds me, if you run into one of those people that is disrespecting you or looking down on you. In one of my training there was a question that was asked and, and I, I may misquote here, but I'm pretty sure this was Brendan Bouchard and he was talking about a day where he wasn't being as nice as he normally is. To his wife and his her response to him stopped him in his tracks. Now I'm gonna own this. You would have to be pretty empowered to be able to say this. But I know I'm saying it in the future. Random people who feel the need to give me attitude. Here's what you say. What is it about me that makes you think you can talk to me like that? What is it about me that makes you think you can talk to me like that? Silence much? And a heads up that maybe you should change your attitude in the future. I love it. I am going to use it. You with me? Give me a heads up in the comments. Until tomorrow. I love you. Take care. Bye. Bye.