What Would You Change to Change the Future?

Hello, you absolutely amazing person, you. Today I wanted to touch on our lens. You've heard me talk about cultural lens before. How the fact that how we see the world and other people is tainted or tinted by our experiences. What we've seen, what we've heard, what we were taught, how we felt about strange certain things, that is how we look at the world. That is our perspective, our cultural lens. And one of the biggest challenges or one of the things that has caused so many problems. I was going to say most, but we'll go with so many problems, is the fact that people make the mistake of assuming their cultural lens. How they see things is the way everyone sees things, or worse, how everyone should see things. The back to back teaching is us recognizing that when we stand back to back, we can see so much of the room we're in. But there's a part we're absolutely blind to and that's directly in front of our partner, the person we're standing back to back with. And if we listen to their perspective and believe what they see, then we really can bring to life that quote that I've got your back. Well, today I wasn't watching Ed Mylett. I, I will read his book in a little bit, but I was actually listening to Brendan Burchard, who is the founder of the Growth Day app. And I've used the app well over a year, maybe two years. There's part of. There's so many things in this app. There's journaling, there's go setting, there's, you know, track your progress, there's tons of training. And there's what's known as the Daily Fire, which is Brendan, just sharing an inspirational little message, audio only, that you listen to every single day. So today, Brendan. Well, I guess by the time you're seeing this. Yesterday, Brendan was talking about the movie Back to the Future, which I don't know about you, but I sure loved it and Brendan sure loved it. We're talking about the original movie and this concept that has been presented in so many movies that if you go back in time and change one little thing, it can totally change the future. Let's talk about that. Hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine river first nation in Treaty 3 territory in Northern Ontario. And as I mentioned in the opening today, I want to talk about that lens we look through. And for me, what I came to realize today is that I definitely look through a reconciliation lens no matter what book I'm reading or video I'm watching or speaker I'm listening to. My mind is constantly. Very valid point. Could I apply that to reconciliation? Could I use that in my reconciliation work? Is this a tool that would help my audiences build those bridges? Constantly looking through a reconciliation lens. So as I mentioned, I was listening to Brendon Burchard's Daily Fire that is featured in the Growth Day app. I will link to the Growth Day app in the show notes. And he was talking about back to the future and that one thing that if you go back in time and you change that one little thing that everything in the future would change as a result. And at one point, yes, I have a handy dandy index card. At one point he asked what would you change if you now the the go to gut response is I wouldn't change anything. And I did that. I'll admit it. That's where I went. But it was like, you know what, ponder it for a minute. He encouraged it. I definitely did it. And then I came up with my answer. Go to the end of the dock. Now that's not going to make a lot of sense to a lot of people. But way back when, When I was 16 and 17, I entered a long distance relationship with an amazing young man and we wrote letters and he worked in my the area I grew up in. He worked in that area during the summer. That's how I originally met him. We had just met the first summer. We developed a relationship over the letters and phone calls and, and then when he came back, we started dating. I this was like my first love. I was head over heels, had no idea how to function in a relationship. But this was end all, be all, everything I wanted. Having said that, I was also paranoid about what other people thought and he was way more confident now going than I was. So when he did something that was out there, I was like, oh, don't do that. Trying to get him to be smaller. And I will own that I wouldn't do that now. I would celebrate his bigness. But back then I didn't know I could be big and I sure didn't know how to handle other people that were so out of the blue. Long story short here, out of the blue one day I got a phone call and he was breaking up with me and it really caught me off guard. It was out of the blue. So for whatever reason and through whatever negotiations I convinced him to take a two week break. That for two weeks we would have zero contact. No, there was no text messaging back Then. But no phone calls, no visits. Two weeks, nothing. And in two weeks, we would see if this was going to work. Now, of course, I spent every second of every day praying that in two weeks he would decide that our relationship was worth it. What I didn't count on was the fact that during that two weeks, I remembered I had friends. I went out with them, I hung out with them. We were having a great time, and I started not to miss him. Then suddenly one night when I was out with my friends, hanging out at the dock like you do when you live in a small town, he showed up. And my friends were not impressed because they thought, oh, now Sandy's gonna leave with him. She's not gonna hang out with us. I understand the attitude. And they gave attitude like only a teenager can. And he wanted to speak to me. And now it should be a little bit of context here. I don't swim. He's an amazing swimmer, and he wanted me to separate from the group so we could talk. He asked me to join him at the end of the dock. This dock was very tall, and if you jumped off it, the water was 20ft deep at that point. I never went on that dock, or if I did, I sat near the lower end, right? It was just a fear for me. And he wanted to meet at the end of the dock, and I was scared stiff. He wanted to throw me in. He was. He would jump in with me. I didn't think he was putting my life on the line, but it was like, you know what? He doesn't understand. This is like a phobia, not a fear. And he kept asking me to go to the end of the dock, and I didn't. And eventually he gave in. He realized I wasn't going to go. He came back, we talked. He wanted to get back together, and I said no, because at this point, I felt like I couldn't trust him, that I would always be waiting for yet another phone call out of the blue. To be fair, that was a decision I went on to absolutely regret. And that's why it came to mind. I thought if I could change one thing, I would go to the end of the dock. I would take the risk, I would say yes to see where that relationship would have ended. Now, of course, everything would change. I wouldn't have my children and my grandchildren. But I couldn't help thinking, yeah, I had gone to the end of the dock. So I'm dying to see in the comments, what's the one thing this has nothing to do with? Reconciliation. At this point. So that's fine. But what's the one thing you would change? I do not want to hear. I would change nothing. Like we all know that. I want to hear from the people that would. And what would you change? What would be that one thing? So then of course I put on the reconciliation lens and I thought, you know what, as Brendan suggested in the Daily Fire, that plot twist that applies to modern day, if you do one thing different today, it can change the future. So like why don't we do one thing different? And I apologize, I should have called this up before I started the recording this, this video. And no, I'm not going to stop in and edit in and blah blah blah and all that fun stuff. I'm going to take two seconds to call it up. What I'm looking for is a PDF that is now in my membership on my website and sandybouchet.com will take you there or Mishkwe ca my company there. So, and I've shared this before, the 10 steps an individual can do. 10 little things that you can do. So own that making people, making indigenous people feel welcome on your block, in your city, in your town is your responsibility. Do something that one simple little change. Own your privilege. Know your experience is not the experience. Experience making that one little change in your thought process. Know that choosing to do nothing and or to stay silent is a great example of privilege. Don't choose to be silent. Be an ally in the true sense of the word. Educate yourself. Read something, look up something. Subscribe to APTN as I suggested. Support any and all non violent resistance. Hold and make space for someone. A non indigenous person commenting on a beautiful indigenous baby can wreck a stereotype. Because yes, we have stereotypes about you too. Do that call out and disrupt racism. Understand a positive experience is dependent upon relationships. Say you're sorry, say excuse me. Say thank you. Even if they don't respond because they may be shocked you said it. And use the four sacred tools, patience, awareness, tenacity and humility as laid out in my book the path. There are 10 little changes you can make today that can move us closer to reconciliation. And I hope you choose to take one of them, if not all of them. And then I hope the next day you do it again. One small change at a time, one conversation, one video at a time, we can build this reconciliation bridge. Exciting. Until tomorrow. I love you. Take care. Bye bye.