Sandi L Boucher, Red Thunderbolt of the Loon clan, responds to a prompt about what she'd tell her 18-year-old self. After her father died when she was 17, she spent decades seeking validation through three marriages before finding herself in her 40s. Her advice: "Don't believe them."
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Okay, so this is not what I think I was going to shoot a video on. This is not what I plan to shoot a video on. I actually just saw a post on Facebook and it made me think and I decided I needed to do a video because I have a question to ask you and your answers are going to be varied and all over the map. But then what I want to focus on or talk about or highlight is the indigenous response. Let's talk about it. Hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine river first nation in Treaty 3 territory in Northern Ontario. And as I mentioned in the opening, I have no handy dandy index card today because I just got this idea off Facebook. Should I have been scrolling Facebook in the middle of a business day? I'm going to use the excuse that I was on my business page, but that really doesn't fly. It led to a video, so I'm going to give myself a break on that one. You have been asked this before or you've seen, heard this before. Maybe you've never taken the chance to answer it, but I want you to take the chance today. Indigenous or not, I want you to take the chance. And this is one of those places. Even though this is an indigenous centered YouTube channel, I really want you to comment your answer below if you feel comfortable sharing. Of course, if you don't, don't. I'm not forcing you to do anything, but I'd love to see your responses especially. Well, especially if you're indigenous, but also if you're not. Like, I would love to hear the variety because we all have such different backgrounds. So what am I talking about? Quit burying the lead, Sandy. It's the ever popular question. You meet your 18 year old self, you're allowed to say three words. What would you say? You run into your 18 year old self, you'm allowed to say only three words, what would you say? Now I'm gonna bet that I'm gonna get a whole bunch. Some of them are gonna be funny, some of them are going for the joke, some of them are gonna be dead serious, some of them are going to be heavy. We're gonna be kind to each each other and it probably took you a half a second to come up with your answer. I know that's definitely what happened for me. I am Anabe at 18. That was long before my empowerment. That would have been wow, a year after my dad passed away. So to give you a backstory, here, I was so fortunate in that I was raised by a man who thought I walked on water. My dad was not indigenous. My dad was from St. Jerome, Quebec. And so he did not have the internalized oppression. He did not see the barriers that my mom saw all too clearly. As a result, he used to tell me that I was going to be prime Minister one day because he didn't see any reason why I couldn't. My mom thought he was nuts in the head because. But he believed it. My dad encouraged every. I was a straight A student because of my dad. It is really easy to achieve when you have someone telling you that you will always do anything. That's your life, that. That of course you will. Of course you won that contest. Of course you got the highest mark. It was a beautiful existence. It was not pressure, it was encouragement. But When I was 17, my dad passed away in the middle of the night. He just didn't wake up. And if you think of those projectors like I use in seminar or we use in a variety of workshops, I now look at my dad as my first projector. Because I didn't yet know who I was. I was who he thought I was. The image he projected into the world is who I became. My dad thought I walked on water. My dad told me I was amazing. And when he passed away, I made the mistake that way too many people, not just women, but people make. I went looking for someone else to tell me I'm amazing. And if you didn't realize it yet, if you go into dating or a relationship with that mindset, you will. You have all the potential in the world to run into Jack the Ripper. And I came close. So I didn't yet realize until my 40s that I could be my own projector, I went through. And anyone on my channel knows I've been married three times. I do not need to hide that. But three different times I became the image they projected. Until I finally got to the point with the end of the last relationship that it's like I don't even remember. As cliche as it sounds, I didn't remember who I was. I didn't remember what I liked. I didn't remember. And I knew I had to take time to figure out who the heck I was. So I was in my 40s by the time I finally realized I could be my projector. And who you see now is me. Not projected by anyone else, but who creator designed me to be. So if I ran into my 18 year old self and I only had three words to say my three words and I'd be very interested to see if other indigenous thought same or similar. My three words would be don't believe them. Don't believe them. Those guys that told you you were less than. The guys that told you you were not attractive. The magazines that told you you weren't attractive. The television programs that told you you would never fit in. The racists that told you you never fit in. The sexists that told you as a female you'd never be able to achieve anything. The bully in the school that told you whatever. The abuser that told you they are the only ones that could ever love you. Don't believe them. Believe Creator because he doesn't make junk. He makes beautiful things and you're a beautiful thing. So I need you to remember that someone else can't see it. Their vision problem is not your value problem. You are amazing just as Creator designed. So I'm telling my 18 year old self don't believe them. My 59 year old self just knows that doesn't waste any time doing that. So the question for today is what would you say if you ran into your 18 year old self and you only had three words you could say to them? What would you say? I cannot wait to see your comments. I know today was a little bit different, but this is me acknowledging. We all know indigenous people are not the only marginalized people. There are many marginalized groups. Women are a marginalized group which is why missing and murdered indigenous women and girls. Double whammy. Indigenous and female men can be disempowered by other people as well. Children are every single day. So what was that quote I heard the other day? Be careful what you say because your offhand come comment could become your child's inner voice. Think about it. What would you say to 18 year old you three words. I will watch for your comments until tomorrow. I love you. Take care. Bye bye.
