When People Say RACIST THINGS in Safe Spaces!

So for those of you who saw some of my videos last year, maybe you subscribed last year, maybe you just checked out a couple of them. You would have seen a couple videos. Well, to be honest, I was probably crying or complaining. I will say complaining because this is YouTube about things that, that people said that were offensive or really hurt me. And that sits with you, that stays with you for a while. Any, any marginalized, racialized person could tell you that. But I was thinking on it because that's what I do. I'm not dwelling on it as someone implied, I reflect on it and I do that until I find the lesson. What is the lesson here? That's the, that's how you build your wisdom and your self confidence. I'm not looking at it to beat myself up. I'm not looking at it in anger of the person who said it. It's like, what can I take from this? And during the break, I was reflecting on some of those instances and it was one of those, I don't know if this ever happens to you. I hope this happens to you because it's awesome when like the light bulb comes on. If you kind of smile because you just realize something about yourself and you think it's kind of cool. That's what happened. So today I wanted to share that with you, what I realized about myself when it comes to those people saying those racist things in a space that I thought was safe. Let's talk about it. Hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Same River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. And as I mentioned in the opening, during my holidays, I was doing some reflecting. I was thinking back to the. Those comments that you overhear that the racist wants to say out loud in a restaurant because they realize there's other people in the restaurant that is, that are indigenous and, and you know, they're just passive aggressively saying this, or we're in a hair salon or in a lobby of a movie theater or lobby of a hotel. It can happen anywhere. And when you thought it was a safe space, which is what happened to me a couple of times last year, where I was someplace where I go all the time and nothing bad ever happens there. So I assumed it was a safe space only to get hit with this comment. So, like that, that analogy of the defensive wall raising and lowering, I thought it was in a safe space. So my wall was way at the bottom, my defenses were down, which is why the comment hu Much. If it was my first time in an establishment, depending on what it is, my wall would either be in the middle and hovering, ready to go either way quickly or way at the top. I think this is going to be problematic. So my defenses are up. I've had my training. I know how to do that. We learn how to keep ourselves safe. And it's also why I now advocate not for safe spaces, but safer spaces. Because if you tell me that you've taken steps to make your space safer, then I know the onus is still on me to hover that wall. And because if I believe your place is just safe, I'm lowering that wall. And now I'm incredibly vulnerable. So I would rather I'm just going to adopt the attitude that places are safer or less safe, but they're never safe. Excuse me. And some of you may think that's horribly, you know, depressing and you shouldn't look at Canada that way. I will look at it that way. So I survive. Because to believe the put on the rose colored glasses means I endure those comments. So if it means lessening the emotional impact of those comments, unless you can guarantee me that no one's going to be allowed to say that in your space, that you're never going to allow someone in there. And if they do, your, you know, SWAT team is going to surround them. Not really. You know what I mean, that people are going to gather around and do something about it, then leave me to figure out how to survive it. So I was reflecting back on these situations and, you know, deciding I'm just going to think of it as a safer space. I got to keep my walls up a little bit or at least ready to go up. And that's when that revelation hit me. My smile became really big. Because what I realized, and this is just a Testament to my 59 years, this is a testament to my healing and my growth and my wisdom and my confidence and everything I've worked so hard to achieve. I realized those idiots catch me off guard once, just once. The first shot's free. Now I know the game. Now when I go back into those places where that happened, trust, I'll be prepared this time. I will have my wall hovering a little bit higher. And if you don't want me to think your establishment that way, the onus is on you to make it safer. But I know the reality. I know what happened to me the last time here. And maybe I shouldn't have believed it was a safe space. And. But what does that fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I'm no fool. I don't do shame. I know when to raise my wall. So I was thrilled to realize, you know what? It's not that I'm still vulnerable. I love that. I believe in this country and the people in it, in our future, our collective future. I believe we can swim in the water between the lanes, as I talked about yesterday. But I'm not a fool. And for those people who cannot bother to create a safer space, I got your number. And I'm okay. Because I know how to protect myself. My mom taught me how to go on without her. I got this. So to all of you out there, to the indigenous and the marginalized, if you've been hurt by those attacks, like do your healing, but don't assume it's always going to be that way. And don't underestimate your ability to handle it. Just raise your wall a little bit higher. You got this. I guaran flipping to you. You've been through worse. I know you have. You need to remember that this minor in the scheme of things. If they want to be an idiot, if they want to be an example of the racist you let them be, don't need to change them. That's their path to walk. And they're going to pay the consequences for their words. Because everyone who wants to scream free speech. It's not free of consequences. You say something stupid, you're going to pay the consequen. And I have absolutely no problem pointing it out. You caught me off guard the first time, Now I'm ready. And the next time you go to say something stupid, I won't be shocked into silence. Now I have your number and you're about to learn mine. So there you go. We got this. We're gonna do this awesomeness. There's three videos down. I will see you tomorrow for the next one. I love you. Take care. Bye bye.