Who do YOU Want to Be?

So yesterday I talked about, or I asked you what you were amplifying and what you were replicating and how that is so huge in you becoming the type of person you want to be, the type of person that you're proud of that you can be a leaf in the wind and just be reacting to what everyone else does. Then don't complain because you're not even running your own life, let alone anything else. Or you can decide who you want to be and take the steps to do that. By the way, that is so incredibly important for disempowered, marginalized, black Indigenous people of color. If you're racialized in any way, if the stereotypes are attacking you, then you really have to consciously decide who you are rather than. Because the risk of you just becoming the stereotype and is so huge and they're wrong, don't prove them right. Stereotypes, we're going to abandon the stereotypes. So I want to talk about that today. I want to talk about some things that you need to consider that can help you become who you are. And I'm going to share with you the things that help me be the woman I am. A woman that I am incredibly proud of. It took forever for me to be able to look in the mirror and say I love you to the woman in the mirror, like I mentioned in that video so long ago. I'll put the link in the show notes, but let's talk about it. Hi everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Sam Seine River first nation in Treaty 3 territory in Northern Ontario. And yes, this channel and all my videos are dedicated to Indigenous Canadian reconciliation, but that includes the empowerment of Indigenous people. And because Indigenous happens to be marginalized, what I say that can help empower Indigenous people, often can empower other marginalized people as well. And by the way, women are a disempowered group. So just saying, just putting it out there. As I mentioned in the opening, if you are marginalized, racialized, oppressed, whatever, bipoc, black Indigenous people of color, it is essential for you to decide who you want to be and who you are because it is so easy to fall into the stereotypes. You are not who they say you are. Those people that love to carry the stereotypes that the, the, the racist, the sexist, misogynistic, those people. That is wrong. And guess what? That is their baggage to carry. It is not your job to change their mind. Your job is to be the best version of you possible. To heck with their opinion because once you get to the point where you like who you are, their opinion really doesn't matter. And trust I was a woman who hated everything about me, had zero self esteem, confidence, non existence. I'm a 10 year domestic abuse survivor. I left believing like I was the worst thing that ever happened to the people that knew me. That is not who I am now. I am living proof that your past does not have to be your future. So how'd I get here? Well, first off, let's do the medicine wheel thingy here. You have to look at the four quadrants of self. Physically, do you like who you are? Have you got to the point where you love your parts yet? Now that doesn't mean you don't wish that some parts were different. But I also know they could be different if I chose to make that a priority. And if I'm not going to do that, then it's no sense hating myself, right? I am choosing to be who I am by not taking steps to change how I look, the size I am, whatever the case may be. So physically you better be loving yourself mentally. Now I'm not talking about mental health because this is the indigenous world view here. I'm talking about your skill sets, your knowledge, your education. Do you wish you had gone on to higher learning? If you wish it, do it. Like quit wishing for things without taking action. If there's one thing I've adopted this year, I've had a bucket list for years and I watched some motivational video and they said turn your bucket list into an action plan. So there's the list of the things you want to do, what's the next step you're going to take to make that happen. And it's something I look at and do every single day to make sure that I get all of the things that are on my bucket list. One of the other things I did, I shared my visual, my manifestation or visualization video at the beginning of the year. Recently I went through and added check marks to everything I had achieved that was so amazing to do. I have a lot of check marks in case you haven't figured it out, and plans on how to get the rest emotionally. How are you doing? I happen to believe that emotional. Now we're talking. Mental health has so much to do with coping skills and having coping skills to do deal with things. And I think that's what happened for so many people where their parents or the people in charge of them, instead of teaching them how to deal with challenges, they tried to eliminate the Challenges. And what you end up with is someone who doesn't know how to deal with challenges when they come up, and challenges are going to come up, that's life, that's adulting. So what we need to get way better at is not minimizing challenges, but when our children are younger, walking them through how to deal with a challenge until they no longer doubt that they can. So how are you doing emotionally? Do you have the coping skills you need? And if you don't, please reach out. You need a counselor? Do you need therapist? You need to take some kind of course, get those coping skills. It's not just weathering this storm. It's packing a good canoe and preparing for the next one. Okay. And then spiritually, I'm really not going to touch on because it's none of my business. But if you are a spiritual person, whatever you believe in, you know, scale to 1 to 10, how are you doing in that area? My spirituality is absolutely everything it touches on, everything I say, see, do. Yeah, everything. So that's. That's probably. If you think of the four, physical, mental, spiritual and physical, Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Totally screwed that up. Think of it as the four legs of a stool. If one of them takes a hit, you got the other three you can rest on, right? So. And if two take a hit, well, now it's wobbly, but you can balance on the two. If three take a hit, now you're in dangerous ground. So strengthen the legs of your stool. You got this. Now I got a challenge for you. When you think of who you want to become, I want you to dare. Dare. And now remember, I'm speaking to marginalized people. So this going out there, dare to say or dare to think that you want to be successful in whatever way, and don't minimize it down to something that's easy. Dare to say you're going to stand at the top of the mountain. Dare to think and realize you're valuable, that you're needed. Dare to realize and acknowledge that you carry wisdom. I can remember I was working with a group of youth, I'm going to say about grade seven. So what, 12, 13, 14, right around there. And I wanted to prove to them that they already carry wisdom because people think wisdom. The elders, and we all carry wisdom. If you've had any kind of life experiences, you got wisdom out of it. So I asked this group if they could think of one thing that they now know isn't true, but they used to believe it was true. And it was actually my niece who happened to be in the audience. And. And she started giggling, and I was like, oh, I need to know what you're thinking. And all she said was, cats can't fly. I don't want to know how she figured that out. It doesn't sound good, but that's wisdom. Think not just that you want to be a kind person, but that you want to be a thoughtful person, that you don't just want to get by. You want to be comfortable. You want to have made a difference. Like raise that bar. Like I talked about in another video this week. Now, for me, when I think of what I want to be or who I want to be, I want to be an asset to the people in my world. I want the people who walk with me to love that they walk with me, that they are thrilled that our paths crossed and they enjoy our journey together that I have added to their experience. I know my value. I no longer look for that in the hands of someone else. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate someone when they see my value. But I don't have that desperate external validation need anymore that is so draining and actually pushes people away. I don't have to prove myself. I know my value, which means there's so much less stress. If you don't see my value, that's okay. It doesn't diminish. Right? I had my value before you walked in the room. I'm gonna have it after you walk out of the room. I have my core teachings, my core identity. I know who I am. And that took unpacking and. And getting rid of all the things that other people said that I knew weren't true. Their opinion doesn't have to be my reality. Their opinion definitely does not have to be my identity. Now I worry. I don't worry about who I am. I focus on adding to the existence of others. I hope you do too. And if you're not there yet, well, I hope this video added to who you are. So there you have it. That's our week. I hope you enjoyed these videos. I'm gonna go give my voice arrest. I'm still getting over Covid. I'm so much better than I was, but not there yet. Kind of like with what I want to accomplish while I'm here. So much closer, but not there yet. Until next week, I'm Sandy Boucher. I love you. Take care. Bye. Bye.