Sandi L. Boucher (Red Thunderbolt Woman, Loon clan, Seine River First Nation, Treaty 3) posts a reaction-style YouTube video prompted by a line from Robin Sharma — “we are waiting for you” — that leads her to reflect on mortality and who she expects to greet her after death. She explains the cultural significance of the number four in Anishinaabe tradition, then names four people she believes are waiting for her: her mother, her father (died when she was 17), her eldest brother George (died ~2010), and her firstborn daughter Fallon (died of SIDS at two months). The video mixes cultural teaching, personal memoir (mentions being 60 years old and a 10-year domestic abuse survivor), and a call for viewers to list their own “top four.”
Questions this video answers
June 28, 2024
Seine River First Nation; Loon clan (Red Thunderbolt Woman)
60 years old
Her mother; her father; her eldest brother George (died ~2010); her firstborn daughter Fallon (died of SIDS at two months)
17 years old
Chapters
Hello again, you super duper double delicious person, you. Now, you may not know this, but for indigenous people, for Anishinaabe people, I'm going to go that way. My culture, there are the number four shows up so incredibly often. The four sacred medicines, the four colors of man, the four seasons, the four life stages. Stages, and the four parts of being, which is your emotional, spiritual, mental and physical self. Now, in mainstream, because this can get confusing in non indigenous mainstream culture, mental health is what would fall under our emotional realm. Mental in our four stages is your learning, your growth, your, your knowledge building, your intelligence and wisdom. So emotional, spiritual, mental and physical. Today, I'm kind of probably leaning more on the emotional or the spiritual side of things. We're just going to balance things out a little bit. Another reaction video. And I know you're super surprised that I was watching an Ed Mylet video, but it's actually his guest that got to me. So let's talk about it. Foreign. Hi, everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of the Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario. And as mentioned in the opening today, I'm reacting to yet another Ed Mylet video or podcast episode. And because of the move, I am so far behind to. Do not be surprised if you get more reaction videos, because I definitely got some videos to catch up on, but this one, he was interviewing Robin Sharma, who has a new book out. Did I write down the name of his book? Of course I didn't. Maybe I can put it in the notes under the video. This man is now enjoying his best life. He lives in Tuscany. I didn't know about you, but those words itself sound pretty amazing. So during the podcast, at the beginning, they're joking around, they're talking with each other, whatever. And Ed is currently in a time period where he's kind of pulled back from work a little bit. He's taking care of his health. He's not pushing it so hard. He's just taking the time to take care of himself. And he mentions in the podcast that he's always wanted to go to Tuscany and that he really wants to do that. And he jokes with Robin, well, you never know, I might just show up there. And Robin's response is what stopped me in my tracks. And I love this. This is so my Anishinaabe teachings. I never know what's going to stop me in my tracks. I never know what the lightning bolt is going to be. But then suddenly I'm like, what? What did he say? Backing it up, hearing it again, writing it down. That's absolutely what happened this time. So what Robin's response was, and yes, I have it on my handy dandy index card. He said, as they say in Italy, we are waiting for you. And as always, that got me thinking. Who is waiting for you? And where my mind went? I am 60 years old. Let's get real here. Mortality is a reality at 60 years old. It's a reality for some people a lot sooner. You start thinking about the end of your days, you start thinking about, you know, how am I going to be remembered? Is anyone going to remember me? Those kind of questions. So. And if you believe in any kind of afterlife or heaven or spirit world or whatever, that's where I went. Who is waiting for me on the other side? Is a phrase that's often used. So I came up with a list of four people off the top of my head. I wouldn't want to say in priority order, but these are definitely the people that's popped into my mind first. So who is waiting for me? By the way, take a second pause this video. Write down your top four, the first people that come to your mind. Who is waiting for you? If you believe that, and I understand if you don't, we're not judging. Oh, they're stormy coming to join the show. So the first one for me, I don't think if you have watched any of my videos, been to one of my keynotes, been to one of my seminars. No one is surprised by this first answer. My mom, absolutely. My mom used to always say that after my dad had passed away, she used to say that she was only here for one reason, to give us everything we needed to go on without her and that one day she would be able to join dad again. And she absolutely did that. And now I would be able to say the same, that I taught my kids everything they needed to know to go on without me. I hope that I taught a whole bunch more people besides my kids of the wisdom and the. The experience and the skills they need to go on without me and to continue the work without me. And that I guarantee that she is waiting for me and I get to be with her again. So that made me smile. Probably not a huge jump or a surprise to anyone. The second person would be my dad. Now, just a little bit of backstory context on this. I was Daddy's little girl. I was raised in the family with me and my two brothers. My dad referred to me as his little Lump of sugar. I have so many amazing memories of, you know, climbing on my dad as he sat in his lazy boy chair. Him letting me do his hair even though he didn't have a lot of hair but I'm putting bows and ribbons in it. That man had so much patience for me and I have so many amazing memories. But I was only 17 when my dad passed away. And not to go into the story because this would become an eight hour video. I went into a tailspin when I lost my dad. Because I now realize that the people that knew me then, excuse me, the people that knew me then probably thought I had confidence. But confidence is self confidence And I didn't believe in myself. I believed in my dad. My dad believed I could walk on water. I believed I could walk on water. My dad believed I could be prime minister one day. I believed I could be prime minister one day. And then dad was gone and suddenly all of the confidence was gone. And like so many other people, I went looking for someone to give me value. I am a 10 year domestic abuse survivor. When you put your self worth in the hands of someone else, you are walking on very dangerous ground. So my dad would be waiting for me and I would love just to to sit at his feet and listen to his stories and enjoy his crazy sense of humor. And you know what I just realized? Boy, do me and my brother ever have my dad's sense of humor. And that makes me smile from the soul. But yeah, just to. I wouldn't want to say anything, I wouldn't want to ask him anything. I wanna, not gonna make myself cry here. I'd want to hold his hand and give him a hug and listen to all of the stories he wants to tell. The stories that used to drive me nuts as a teenager that like, oh God, he's going to tell another story. I would sit there for 10 years and listen to the stories. Okay, we are good. We are good. The third one that came to my mind is my eldest brother George who, God, when did we lose him? 2009? 2010. 2010 I believe we've had my eldest brother like 16 years older than me. So we've had a different kind of dynamic as we went through the years. He was the oldest brother I adored when I was a tiny little person because my eldest brother was six five. He was this giant that adored me and I loved that. Then there were times we total completely butted heads because he treated me like I was 2 or it felt like it. And not respecting the fact that I was A grown woman now again, I'm certain he knew I was a grown woman. It just didn't feel that way. We were together when we lost mom, just me and my oldest brother because she didn't survive surgery and we were there as her companions. And yeah, there's just. As an older woman now, as someone who has a lot more experience and understanding, I would really look forward to seeing my eldest brother again. And last but definitely not least. So I There's a really good chance you don't know this, but I have two amazing children. But I actually lost my firstborn to sids, to crib death when she was only two months old. Fallon is my angel baby and she, like I said, was only here for two short months and a complete and total angel. And I became a much better mom after losing her because I can honestly admit, at 20 years old and that's how old I was when I was her mom. I so took for granted having a baby. Change them, feed them, whatever. Losing her taught me to cherish every second you have with your kids. So to see Fallon again as the grown woman she is now and to hear her stories of having spent her life with my dad and then my mom and with so many aunts and uncles and surrounded by love, I guess I'm not going to do I do all my talking in this world. I guess in the next I'm just going to sit and listen and enjoy. And that's totally works for me. At the bottom here I wrote they are waiting for me but they know I have things to do first. So I gotta get busy. And that is definitely how I look at my life. I have things to do while I'm here. I'm going to do everything I can while I'm here because like so many elders that have gone before me, I want to be one of those people that at the end everyone knows she gave it all. She left nothing on the table. She did everything she could. That is me. I want to do everything I can in my time here because I honestly believe that's why I am here. So I would love to see in the comments who are the four people waiting for you and why and and what would you do when you see them? What's it going to be like? I would love to hear. So maybe this will be practice for me. I'm just going to sit and listen to your amazing stories about the four people that will be waiting for you. Have a super duper double delicious weekend and I'll see you again on Monday. And I do believe the next time I'm shooting videos, I will actually have my desk pray with me that that's the case. Until next week. I love you. Take care. Bye. Bye.
