WHY Haven't We Reconciled Yet?

I know this is going to be a total news flash to some people, but in case you didn't realize it, not everyone is as optimistic for the future of Canada as far as reconciliation is concerned as I am. And even worse, there are many Indigenous people that are not as hopeful for reconciliation as I am. I know you're shocked. I get asked all the time from the most cynical or discouraged people, why hasn't it happened yet? If it's possible, why haven't we reconciled? Well, I can explain why we haven't reconciled, in my humble opinion. And I also can explain why I believe we will. So let's talk about it. Foreign. Hi everybody. My name is Sandy Boucher. I'm Red Thunderbolt, woman of the Loon clan, a proud member of Seine River First Nation in Treaty 3 Territory in Northern Ontario, Canada. And yes, I am an indigenous person who believes in reconciliation and, and the future of this country. And on this channel, that's what we talk about. So if you're new here, welcome. You probably picked a really good video to watch if you're new here. So why do I think reconciliation is going to happen? Well, as always, I grew up, I was raised by a woman who used a lot of metaphors to explain a lot of complex things. Things. And I believe in reconciliation. Not necessarily because of the reconciliation process, because that could be discouraging. Maybe that's why people are so discouraged, but because of what I know about human nature and human beings. And if there, I guess there's two huge forces at play here. If there's one thing I've learned In my near 60 years on the planet, it is that people will live up to the bar you set for them. So if you tell someone they're less than, they're never going to amount to anything. You do, that oppressive stance, don't be surprised if that turns out to be their reality. What it means is at some point they believed you. And that is as heartbreaking and as it is devastating on the other side. And I forgot what my point was going to be. That's, that's really bad. Oh, I know what it is. Hope. I believe with everything in me that I do not have the luxury, the privilege or the right to give up hope because my ancestors did not survive all they went through. So I would drop the ball at the finish line. There are so many indigenous people going through so many challenges right now, living in communities under decade long boil water advisories. The violence in our communities, the violence against us outside our communities, MMIWG is a reality it is not an exaggeration, but I move forward. I believe in tomorrow because my ancestors did, and I know they did because they created my parents and in turn me. I believe it's privilege that gives you the ability to give up on this. Because if you're giving up on the idea of reconciliation, it's probably because it doesn't directly affect you. I don't have that luxury. I have children and grandchildren that I'm going to leave behind one day. So this has to work. And I'm going to give you some ideas on how we can make that happen today in the paint the picture section. Now, why hasn't it worked so far? Well, like I said, my mom loved to use metaphors, so I'm going to as well. Reconciliation happens all the time and most often. I don't know about you, but when I think of reconciliation, I think of a relationship, a relationship that needs to be reconciled. So let's go with a relationship many of us are familiar with the married couple or the committed to each other couple. Let's not get caught up in that little nightmare. So hopefully the ideal scenario we acknowledge that these two people decide to get married and they are complete people, they are adults. That means they've developed their cultural lens. They've probably have values and opinions on things based on how they were raised and what they experienced. And all of that they bring to the table and decide to get married. Now, in the ideal scenario, we're going to continue with this. Hopefully they build, design and implement a relationship that honors and supports what both bring to the table. They're both going to have shortcomings. But if you watch Brene Brown, she says no relationship is 50, 50. Your partner shows up one day and says, I only got 20%. So the partner has, okay, I got your back, I'll cover the 80. Then hopefully the next day, if you're down, they cover you. It's that supporting each other, that backto back teaching that I've got your back. So together they build this relationship that recognizes we're different, but we have some commonalities, values in common, hopefully. And together we're going to take care of this relationship and our home. We're going to make sure that it's taken care of, that the roof is repaired and the furnace is working so that we have a cozy, comfortable place to live. Doesn't that sound awesome? That's the way it should be. That's that little ideal scenario. Now let's look at the Canadian indigenous relationship. Right off the bat, we kind of have to acknowledge that I don't believe, and this is my opinion based on history, I guess you could disagree with me. Do it on your channel. When the settlers got here, they had no interest in entering a relationship with us. What it reminds me of is the scenarios that when a woman got married back in the day, I'm not sure in some cultures this may still happen. The dowry is what I'm talking about. The, you know, riches or real estate or, you know, whatever, the jewelry, the dollars, whatever came with that woman when you married her. So when the settlers arrived here, it's not us they were interested in, it was the land. We happened to come with the land, but they wanted that land. So just like that woman who was married for her dowry and then got locked in a room or in another part of the house because he didn't really want to deal with her, he just wanted his hands on that dowry. We got moved out of the way. We got removed from the lands that were the most ideal in the eyes of the settlers. And in many documented cases, they kind of tried to take us off the planet. Look at the residential schools. Never mind the abuse for a second. How about the. Well, I guess the abuse in the form of neglect, in malnourishment, in rampant disease, all of these things. Because in the eyes of so many. I'm not trying to be dramatic, it was true, it wouldn't really upset anyone if there were less indigenous people, but because that would just meant they finally succeeded in solving the Indian problem. So this relationship continues into modern day. And after a while, the hubby realizes he can't really get rid of his wife, really enjoying the dowry, but she's still. So then Canada decides, well, you know what? You wouldn't be so hard to get along with if you could just become more like us. Like, if you're not going to just unalive, could you just assimilate? So the education of our children happened. The banning of our culture and traditions, our teachings and our languages happened. The assimilation continued. The superiority that we know what's best for you, our religion is the best for you. Our education system, our justice system, our way of building an economy and building a community is far superior to yours. Didn't really bother to figure out what ours was. That was just the assumption made or the decision made. So that brings us to modern day. Now, how close do you think this marriage between Canada and Indigenous people is to that ideal scenario I described? I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to figure out we got a Long way to go. Now there's one thing, I'm going to apologize here for a second. There is one thing I meant to call up before, before I turned on the camera and that is that is not where I want to go. I'm searching, trying to do two things at once here in my book, the Path and I will put an image on the screen for you. There is, well, there's I guess a few quizzes in there, but. But there we go. Hopefully I found the right one. The path handouts. There it is. Okay, it worked. So if you've watched my channel before, you've probably heard me mention that I'm a 10 year domestic abuse survivor. The reality is, and I hope you don't know this, but if you've been in an abusive relationship, you probably do. It is possible to go online, turn on your computer, jump into Google, type in am I in an abusive relationship? And you're going to find a quiz and it's fairly standardized over the years and you go through and if you get too many yeses, then you realize it helps you realize whether you're in an abusive relationship or not. And let me be the first to tell you, if you're searching for that kind of quiz, you probably already know the answer. Just saying. So what I did in the book, the path was I took that standardized quiz, I changed a few words, not a lot, just enough to make it apply to the Canadian Indigenous relationship. And then I invited my readers to take the quiz. Now, how many questions are there? There are 25 questions. So you're going to count up how many yeses you got, times it by four, you're going to get your percent right out of 100. So 80%, 70%, whatever the case may be. So I want to run through this quiz because there still are people that want to argue with me. Well, it's not that bad and it may be just back to back teaching. It's not in your realm, it's not in what you know or see. And that could be completely different if you're looking at it as an Indigenous person. So at the beginning of the quiz it says as it relates to the treatment of or the relationship with indigenous people, have Canadian fishing officials or Canadian policy been known to do the following? So it's either a yes or a no. So Canadians, Canadian officials or Canadian policy. 1. Has Canadian officials or Canadian policy ever looked down upon or called Indigenous people derogatory names, made jokes at their expense or humiliated Indigenous people either privately or in public? For example, by segregating them indigenous have to go over here yes or no 2. Has Canada, Canadian policy or Canadiens ever attempted to tell Indigenous people and or Indigenous children what to wear or harshly criticize how they dress or use sacred items as part of Halloween parties or fashion shoots? Has that ever happened? Yes or no. Has Canada, Canadians or Canadian policy ever marginalized Indigenous people to the extent that they were left in positions where they were at risk of sexual assault or simply assumed that Indigenous people were open to sex simply because of their race or level of intoxication? Yes or no Has Canada, Canadian policy or Canadians ever refused to let Indigenous people work or force them to work under conditions that others wouldn't work under or force them to work for less pay? Yes or no as Canadian, Canadian officials or Canadian policy refuse to allow Indigenous people to leave their home or community refuse to allow them into a home or business establishment? Yes or no 6. As Canadians, Canadian officials or Canadian policy demanded to know where Indigenous people are, what they are doing and what who you're with, perhaps by requiring you to give permission to get permission to leave the reserve or or by issuing you an identification card that will track your whereabouts and life events from birth to death. Sorry about that, I just have to put my phone on silent. Number seven. Has Canadians, Canadian officials or Canadian policy monitored phone calls, text messages, emails, Facebook etc or tracked your every purchase every life event if you're Indigenous? Yes or no 8. Has Canada, Canadian officials, Canadians or Canadian policy refused to let Indigenous children phone their friends or family or be able to visit them except for during a brief two summers two months of summer while they were in school? Yes or no 9. Has Canada, Canadians, Canadian officials or Canadian policy told Indigenous people who they can and can't talk to or educated others so they wouldn't want to talk to indigenous peoples? Number 10. Has Canada, Canadian officials or Canadian policy constantly questioned Indigenous Peoples spending or have they taken control of Indigenous money? Have they unreasonably limited the money that they give Indigenous people or refused to tell them about their own financial situation? Yes or no 11. Has Canada, Canadian officials or Canadian policy followed Indigenous people in a way that would make them fearful? Yes or no 12. Has Canada, Canadians, Canadian officials or Canadian policy used physical force on Indigenous people to ensure they fell in line? Yes or no 13. Has Canada, Canadians, Canadian officials or Canadian policy physically harmed others to encourage Indigenous people to fall in line? 14. Has Canada, Canadians, Canadian officials or Canadian policy threatened to use physical force? Threats aren't always spoken. They can be silent too, such as looks, gestures, displaying weapons, etcetera yes or no? 15. Has Canada Canadians, Canadian policy or Canadian officials threatened to kill an Indigenous person or others if they left the home or community? 16. Has Canada Canadians, Canadian officials or Canadian policy threatened to kill themselves if indigenous people left? 17. Has Canada Canadians, Canadian officials or Canadian policy threatened to turn Indigenous people into the authorities, the police, for example, if they left the reserve or the school or the premises? 18. Has Canada Canadians, Canadian officials or Canadian policy used religious or spiritual beliefs to manipulate or control or to justify violence against Indigenous people? Have they denied Indigenous people freedom of religion by refusing to let them practice their spiritual beliefs or insisting that they follow the religion of Those in power? 19. Has Canada Canadians, Canadian officials or Canadian policy blamed Indigenous people for their abusive behavior and told them it was their fault? 20. Has Canada Canadians, Canadian officials or Canadian policy destroyed Indigenous possessions or the land they feel they have stewardship over? 21. Has Canada Canadians, Canadian officials or Canadian policy showed up unexpectedly when they were not invited, not welcome to Indigenous social or work events? 22. As Canada Canadians, Canadian officials or Canadian policy stolen indigenous money? 23. Has Canada Canadians, Canadian officials or Canadian policy assisted or for insisted or forced Indigenous people to use drugs or alcohol against their will or ensured that their environment was so unbearable that they would be tempted to use more than the average individual number? 24. Has Canada Canadians, Canadian officials or Canadian policy insisted that Indigenous people take part in dangerous or criminal activities or ensured that their environment almost required them to number? 25. As Canada Canadians, Canadian officials or Canadian policy limited the ability of Indigenous people to leave or thrive in their community by depriving them of economic opportunities? So as I mentioned, go back over that. If you got to pause the video and go back to see any you missed, please do that. You're going to get a score out of 25. So say like 18 out of 25. I'm just picking a number here. Or 20 out of 25. Better on the mental math. It times it by four. 20 times four is 80. So 80%. You're saying this relationship is 80% abusive? 80% chance it's an abusive relationship. Now, when I do that quiz in the seminar, I don't think I've ever had anyone score it below 20. I get a lot of 24s. We always giggle when someone puts 25 because then there's the one that they didn't read properly because I don't think there's ever been an incident where Canada said we're going to kill ourselves if Indigenous people leave. But now you get my point. We have to fix things. So how do we fix this broken marriage? How do we fix this broken relationship? Well, think about like it's hard to imagine it when you go to the national level. So think of it at the personal level. Again, think of the husband and wife. If this was the relationship. Now there's a whole bunch of people that are going to say, leave him. That's impossible to do. So that's not an option. First thing I wrote down on my handy dandy index card was it's time for counseling. It's time to look at this relationship and get supportive advice because things have to change. It is time for Canada to hear the indigenous voice and what we want and need in the same way that that husband needs to listen to the wife, bring her out of the locked room and actually listen to what she needs out of this relationship. And we just saw very instrumental ruling from the Supreme Court about First nations taking control of their own child welfare agencies. And I mean that's huge. That's a huge step in the right way because it's finally saying we have the right to take care of our own children. The fact that it's 2024 and we had to go to the Supreme Court to get people to see that we have the right to support and take care of our own children says a lot about how far we have to go. Another one that I am so passionate about and we see it time and time again in the news. It is time for us to work together to protect our home, to protect Canada. And I'm not talking about locking the borders and keeping newcomers out. I mean, locking someone else out is not the answer. I. You can't be anti indigenous racist and racist against another group. That just, just makes you a hypocrite. I'm sorry, that's reality. What I am talking about is taking care of Canada. The waters, the air, the land. The fact that we destroy land for short term financial gain and don't care about what happens in the future drives me insane. The whole burying of nuclear waste in northern Ontario where I live. And you hear, well, the containers, we're going to sink it into the Canadian shield, which is the hardest known material known to man. Not if you poke a whole bunch of holes in it yet. And then the containers, they're going to last 100 years, 150 years. My answer or my question is always the same. What happens in 151 years? The fact that you're not going to be around that might be how far you look in the future. But my Children and grandchildren are going to be here. Are we going to be able to get down to that container to keep it from leaking? Are we going to be able to tell before it destroys the water table of the people I love? And are we going to actually change things? So if indigenous children in the far north start getting sick, so someone's going to actually care this time? See my point? We have to understand that destroying land, error, water, the things we need to exist is always a bad idea. Don't care how much money we make doing it. We gotta come together on this. So do you see why we haven't reconciled yet? Do you see what we have to fix? The first being people hearing an indigenous voice, which, by the way, if you're watching this video, thank you. Because you're listening to an indigenous voice proving you're part of the solution, not the problem. Now, tomorrow, I don't normally mention what's coming up next, but tomorrow in my podcast episode, I'm going to talk about. It's the power of four. I'm going to talk about the four stages of the reconciliation journey. There's four stages for indigenous people. We got a lot of work to do. There's four stages for non indigenous people. We got a lot of work to do. There are four reconciliations people have to go through, and we're going to discuss that, too. And the four stages of a person going from totally disempowered and marginalized to empowered. I know because I've done them and I've watched many other people do them. So the power of four tomorrow, I highly, highly suggest you check it out, save it, listen to it when you can. Listen to it while you're doing the dishes or driving in your car, whatever may be. But before I sign off for today, I have to, of course, paint the picture. Okay, So I think this entire video has been directly related to reconciliation. But the picture I wanted to paint for you today and make crystal clear is what you can do next. So not only should you make an effort to start listening to indigenous voices, subscribe to my channel. That's a really good idea. Follow the Warrior Life, Pam P's podcast. That would be amazing. Anything that Cindy Blackstock does, anything that Senator Murray Sinclair says, follow these people. But when you're not doing that, I want you to listen to the news or watch the news and start identifying all the times that assimilation and white supremacy are still happening. All the times that someone is trying to either do something for us, telling us what we can do, or telling us that we have to be more like mainstream. All of the signs that the relationship is still problematic. Once we identify the problem, we can work together to fix it. I have hope. I have no other choice. But I believe I get to work with the most amazing non indigenous people because the problematic people don't hire me. The problematic people don't come to my seminars. I am constantly surrounded either by indigenous people who are dedicated and focused on healing and standing tall and strong or non indigenous people that want to be part of the solution. What's not to love about my career? So I thought we would finish off the week strong. Obviously a longer video today, but it's a question I get asked all the time. So why hasn't reconciliation happened yet? Because we got some work to do. I hope to see you tomorrow as you check out my podcast. I love you. Take care. Bye bye.