Talking Sense X Blended Podcast

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Hi, welcome to Talking Sense, a podcast with me, Dr. Marta. I'm a clinical psychologist trained in family therapy and every week I answer one of your real life questions. This week you've got an extra little treat from me because this is an extra Talking Sense podcast and it comes with a twist. It is a special episode that I have done with Kate Ferdinand who also runs a podcast called Blended and it is a really beautiful podcast for all families and parents who are blended in some way, whether it's culturally, racially or by blending families. And I'm going to talk about my three favourite episodes from her podcast and give you some little insights on on what the episodes are about and why they resonated with me. I really think that Blended the podcast is such a useful listen for families. It has so many personal stories and things that you can really reflect on and think about as well as just feel really validated in your parenting with your children. And I don't think it just is for children, families who are blended. I think all parents can benefit from some of these conversations and I'm going to show you how. I'm going to talk about the first Blended episode, which was on Mother's Day. And then I'm going to talk about the episode on embracing Heritage. And finally, I'm going to talk about how to effectively engage with our children, which is the podcast episode that I joined Kate Ferdinand on. So let's begin.

So the Mother's Day episode is a really moving episode. I think it's also Blended's first podcast and I think it's a really interesting choice for a first podcast because as a society, I feel like we have this feeling view about the importance and value of mothers and mothering. So being a mum and having a mum who nurtures, cares and loves you, and of course, mothers are deeply, deeply important in our society. And I actually feel like mothers aren't valued enough in lots of ways. However, there is a reality which is that not everybody gets to have a special bond with their mother or gets to become the mother that they hope or wish to be to another. And for me, this episode is a really moving account from women, children and young people from around the UK who share their honest experiences of what Mother's Day brings for them. And it's incredibly, incredibly moving. And I think these are often the unheard stories and the unheard voices that we hide from others. I think these stories are living around us all the time.

We.

But they're not often talked about. And our society doesn't amplify or uplift these voices. I feel like our society's view of Mother's Day leaves out lots and lots of people who are in our society. And I feel that what Kate has done in her podcast is offer a really beautiful, safe space for these voices to be heard.

So.

So if you feel like no one really gets why Mother's Day is really tough, or if your experience of motherhood or having a mother is different from the narrative that we have in society about having this nurturing, loving mother by your side, then I feel like this podcast might be really useful to you. I think you might feel seen and heard when you listen to others voices and stories. And it's a podcast that you can come back to whenever you need a reminder that you're not alone. So for me, it's not just a podcast for Mother's Day. It's a podcast for anyone at any point in time who feels a little bit alone in their story or relationship with their mother or their personal story of mothering others. So do have a listen, but do get some tissues out because it's very moving and it might just spark emotion in you.

The second podcast that I'm going to discuss here that really resonated with me was the Importance of Embracing Heritage with Adrienne Herbert. This is a really great conversation about blending cultures, blending races, and blended families. And it's such a useful podcast to consider why talking openly about your heritage and the family stories that you have can really help children celebrate every part of who they are. For me, this podcast on a personal level was really helpful and very validating. I am mixed race. I'm international, I am multicultural. And these conversations are really key in our home. They're conversations that I have with my child frequently. And although my child is only four, we talk about race and we talk about the heritage that she carries from me and her father, and we talk about the fact that I'm mixed race and therefore she is as well. And so many of these conversations were never had with me when I was a child. It was just something that I think my parents found very difficult to talk about, did not know how to navigate. And for me, it's both validating and useful as a mother to really think about celebrating the cause, cultural differences that are within our family, and to help my child feel really proud of every part of who she is. So I think if your family has a blended heritage or you're interracial, this would be a really useful listen to you. Not just to kind of hear what it's like in somebody else's family, but also to give you some ideas and pointers of what to think about and what to consider. I just think it's a really useful and important conversation. And if you're not in a blended family, I think it's also something really helpful to listen to because you can gain a real insight into what it's like for people who are being brought up in a different culture from the one that they were brought into or the one that they carry in their heritage, and to consider how to be more compassionate, more open, and also have these conversations with your children about difference and diversity and inclusion. So have a listen, because I think it's a really useful episode.

And my last choice of the blended podcast is how to effectively engage with your children. And this is the podcast that I was invited to join Kate Ferdinand on. And I answer questions on grief, on anxiety, on how to regulate our own emotions as parents, which for me is really key. And I talk about what pausing actually looks like in practice. For me, this is a podcast that is absolutely packed with information on family relationships and actionable strategies that you can put into place. I talk about things like how to overcome imposter syndrome with your children and also how to share when you have a strong emotion around without placing responsibility on your children for that emotion. There are so many topics that Kate and I discussed together and Kate is such an easy person to talk to. So it felt really comfortable to be really open and honest in my answers. And I think a lot of what I talk about on this podcast is different from what I share on my Instagram. So do go and have a listen because I think it may be really useful to you. And if you find it useful, let me know. And we're coming to an end of this special edition of Talking sense with me, Dr. Marta. Next week I'll be answering one of your real life questions, giving you psychological understandings, ideas and advice of what to do. But for today, I hope this has been useful and of interest to you. Do go and have a listen to Blended by Kate Ferdinand and if you find it helpful, rate it and review it and let us know how you find it. I hope you will join me next week for another Talking Sense podcast. Until then, see you soon.

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