https://www.listennotes.com/e/2b5e69dab3134bcebdc85f298c69c52e

If you think having a coaching mindset is all about knowing exactly what to tell people to do or how to fix their problems, you're going to need to think again. Because today I am busting that assumption. And I am going to give you practical tips so that you can walk away building your own powerful coaching mindset. If you're ready, let's begin. Are you ready to shine? Come on, it's a shiny one. You got this. Welcome to the Shiny Minds show, where you combine the power of your mind with the wisdom of your heart to maximize your true potential and make your difference in the world by becoming a shiny mind, an enlightened mind. In my language, a shiny mind is an enlightened, conscious human soul who knows that there is a bigger purpose to tap into in this life. And today we are talking about that purpose in the perspective of the coaching profession, and we're going to look at what it really means. And perhaps you may have the wrong idea about what coaching is or what having a coaching mindset is. I'm going to start by explaining why what you think might be incorrect and why coaching mindset is absolutely nothing about fixing people's problems, telling them what to do, or giving them advice. I have been a certified coach since 2010. Having done this for over 15 years now and having coached more than 3,000 hours, I can tell you that coaching is not what you think it is. Coaching is really not what you see on TV or in conversations with others where they say, you know what? You should really do this. You should really break up from that guy because you know he's being very toxic on you. Or you should really stop eating that thing because it is harming you. Or in another conversation, hey, you know what? You. You're never calling me, so I thought there was something wrong with you, so I'm here to fix that problem for you. Those are not coaching conversations. And if somebody is talking like that, they don't have a coaching mindset. I will break down what coaching mindset is and you're going to need to bust so many assumptions that you might already have and you're going to need to understand. Coaching mindset is all about freedom, partnership, and curiosity. It really is about freedom, partnership, and curiosity. Let's start with freedom. In my understanding, having a coaching mindset is all about having a curious mind and an open heart. When you show up to your conversations with an already formed opinion, it's going to be super hard for you to have that conversation and make it go somewhere delicious. It's going to get tense. At some point you're going to tell people what you think and they're not going to agree with you. And all of a sudden there's friction. If that is what's going on, let's talk about it because I know this episode can help. In all the conversations you might be wondering what is going on, what am I saying or not saying or what other people are saying or not saying that are creating these frictions, these conflicts, these like tensions in the conversations that we experience. Because it is everywhere. It's out there, Everybody is experiencing that and most of the people are not aware. So it is my job as an ICF master certified coach. Having certified more than 500 coaches in more than 50 countries in the world by now, I can tell you that coaching mindset is the number one mindset hack that can free you from all the limitations, all the obligations and all the tension that you feel in your life. Not even realizing. Is it really like, how is it going to help having a coaching mindset? Well, let me break it down. Let's start with the ICF definition of coaching. Okay? And ICF stands for International Coaching Federation. According to the ICF definition, coaching is partnering up with clients in a thought provoking and create a process that inspires them to maximize their own personal and professional potential. What does it mean? You're not fixing their problems, you're not telling them what to do. You're not offering therapy, you're not giving them solutions. You are partnering up with them. You're not this tool that they are grabbing or they are grasping so that they can use that tool, which is you, to fix their problems. No, you're not a tool in a toolbox, nor are they really looking for a tool because they have all the tools in their own toolbox, which is their brain, their incredible machinery. You have that too in your brain. You have all the resources that you need. You may not be aware of them just yet. The resourcefulness is what you need. And resourcefulness is a part of coaching mindset, at least in my language, in my neuroshine technology language. How is it going to help you to apply the ICS coaching definition into your life to have a coaching mindset? When you look at the definition, you're going to see that having a coaching mindset has something to do with partnerships, something to do with being able to inspire others, and something to do with holding the space for them so that they get to maximize their own potential. Yes, of course you're helping them to maximize their potential. But it is not like you see on TV with the basketball coaches or football coaches with screaming and yelling, trying to motivate, and they are players to do a better job. No, that's not coaching. Or it's not about having a conversation with your colleague or a team member and then telling them, you know what you should do better. You're way better than that. Your performance actually is below your standards. Like, you can absolutely do better. You got this. It is in your power. And like you're trying to motivate. That's not coaching. What I notice is people are using coaching within that framework. Coaching is not what you think it is. Coaching is not motivating people. Coaching is not mentoring people. Coaching is not telling them what to do. Coaching is literally understanding that everybody has their own power within their own tools, the resources within, and helping them to tap in to that power, that cosmic light, so that they can solve their own problems. Coaching has nothing to do with what you tell them because if they are not ready to receive what you're telling them, you're just going to be wasting your energy. You're just going to be basing your. Your frequency trying to help others. Do they even need your help to begin with? Do they ask you to help them to begin with? If they're not, then you're overstepping. Then you're kind of like trying, I'm trying to help, but. And then you're overstepping and you don't even ask permission. Do you know if they're okay with it? Do you know their boundaries? Do you know if they really are open to accept your advice? I don't think so. And that's why these are the points that I want to make so that you can understand what you are doing. Because it is so ingrained, it's so programmed in your upbringing, in your communication patterns, in your conversations, in. It is so ingrained, and you don't even realize those are unconscious and subconscious blocks that we all have and we carry them. Sometimes we just talk in this on autopilot and then you tell them, oh, I was just trying to help you. No, nobody asked for your help. Understand what you want to do is you want to ask permission. Okay, so I want to continue from now on by busting assumptions so that you can have a more clear idea about what coaching mindset is meets number one, let's bust it together. Why coaching is not giving advice. Coaching is not giving advice because the definition of coaching requires that there needs to be a partnership about inspiring people to maximize their potential. If you are giving them advice, are they inspired to maximize their potential? Perhaps in another context, but in the coaching context, they're not. Because what will inspire them is to remember who they are, to remember what kind of source energy, light energy that they have within that they can tap in. That is what's going to inspire them, not something external. When you give them advice, you're becoming an external source for them. In my language, you're becoming an O.P.O. other people's opinions. And sometimes it's needed when they ask for it. Okay, in the coaching context, I always tell my students, yes, people are going to ask for your advice in the coaching session. When they ask for it, by all means, give it to them and say, hey, here's what I would do if I were you in your situation and take it back to them. Right after you say that, say, hey, this is what I would do. But we're not talking about me, we're talking about you. What would you like to do? What would work for you? You always bring it back to them because the conversation is about them. Okay? So when you give advice, what you are not doing is you're not asking them their resources. They're not thinking about their own resources. They're not feeling inspired about who they are. You're just, like, talking, talking, talking, giving them advice and telling them what to do. And then they're like. And that's that. There is no inspiration. There is nothing in their soul that can light up with the fire with the light versus if you apply the coaching mindset and if you partner with them, would that be helpful to think about this, and then you ask a question, and then they respond, boom. That is the inspiration, and that is tapping into their own light within. And that's how you're going to inspire them. And that's why coaching is not giving advice. All right, so let's move to meet number two. Coaching is not fixing their problems. Meet number two may sound like meets number one, because the first one is about giving advice, and then this one is about fixing their problems. They're kind of related, but not the same. And I want you to look at trying to fix people's problems in the context of your language patterns, your words, what you. What you tell them. Okay, so here's the example. You're having a conversation with a friend of yours, and your friend says, well, it's really challenging to find somebody. I like when I go on a date, right? That's what you heard from your friend. If you immediately jump and say, well, yeah, you know, actually, you may want to try this app because I've been having great conversations lately. Busted. You see, this is exactly what trying to fix other problems sounds like, okay? The minute they opened their mouth, they want your empathy, they want your understanding. Without hearing them or making them feel heard, you're jumping into fixing, providing a solution. And that is exactly what coaching is not. Having a coaching mindset is not about trying to fix people's problems. Having a coaching mindset is about understanding that people have their own challenges, people have their own agenda, their own life that goes on. And it's on them to fix their own problems. It's on them to find what works for them. Otherwise, we're going to be addicted to hearing what other people think about that. I need advice. I need to consult somebody. I need somebody to fix my problem. And then what are we becoming? Who are we becoming? We are becoming externally programmed and an externally motivated human beings. We need intrinsic motivation. We need internal source. And that is why I love coaching. Oh, my God, I love it so much. Because coaching reminds us that we are all eternally powerful. We all need to tap in. And then we all need to remember, oh, my God, I actually, I know what to do about this. I'm just going to make sure I'm going to have this and that and this and that as a filter before I go out on a date. And that way I'm going to solve my own problem, whatever, right? They need to find their own solutions. That is the key. Otherwise, from the neuroscience perspective, let's talk about some brain. Now, your neurons have to be involved in that problem solving activity. If some other external information is entering into your brain, it's not going to light up your brain as much as you light up your own brain by activating your own neurons to think about, to explore your resourcefulness, your power within. I hope you can picture that with me. Let's talk about the tournament that we're going to need to bust as part of your coaching mindset. As you will remember, I talked about, having a coaching mindset is about three qualities, right? It's about freedom, partnership, and curiosity. So the myth number three is that you need to be perfect to coach somebody, which is completely untrue. Let's bust that. Coaching is about being authentic. Coaching is all about coming from your heart, coming from your truth, and not trying to be somebody else that you are not. And in the world that we live in today, in 2025, coaching has become such a trend, such a big profession, and everybody is rising up to their own freedom, their own authentic voice, that it all makes sense why we want to experience this modality. I'm getting goosebumps as I speak with you. Because we are not perfect. Nobody is perfect. We are all perfectly imperfect. I love saying that we are perfect. Perfectly imperfect. And because we are so, we want to be accepted as who we are. We want to express ourselves as who we are. We want to share the deepest parts of our souls and we want to connect from a deep level. Because we live in a new paradigm now. Now everything is shifting now. Everything is changing its perspective and we are all getting caught up with that. We are just waking up to who we really are. And coaching is becoming the most delicious modality to use to wake up to who we really are. And that's why if you believe that you have to be perfect to coach others, may I please remind you and invite you to be yourself, to be just who you are and just come from your deepest truth, which is love and curiosity and non judging space for others. That's what you need to coach others. That's what you need as part of your coaching mindset. Let me now talk about how having a coaching mindset is going to give people the freedom and create partnerships and open up for more curiosity and exploration. Freedom. Because when you coach somebody, then you have the coaching mindset to formulate the questions in a way that you're gonna help them to go within and you're not gonna judge them just because they think a certain way. You're just going to be so curious. Wow, you think that way? That is so amazing. Like, let me just find out more. I'm super curious. I would love to hear more. What makes you think that way? You just go deeper and deeper and deeper with your questions and then you formulate powerful questions to. To go somewhere so deep in them. And that way you realize that you are making the biggest contribution to the human in front of you ever. Because that's what we are craving for. We want to be free. I want to be free. In my conversations, if I am sharing a sentence and somebody is trying to fix it, if somebody is trying to tell me what to do, I'm just going to lose that connection because I have been doing this for so many years and so my neurons pick up that you know what, trying to control, trying to fix, trying to do this and not giving you the freedom, the space. So that's exactly what's going to happen. And that's why you don't want to become that for others. Because you don't want others to become that for you. Right. You want to give people the freedom. They are free to think whatever they think. They're free to be whoever they want to be. There is freedom of choice. And that's why in your conversations, if you have the coaching mindset, neuroshine, technology, coaching mindset in my language, then you're going to make people feel free, and they will be like, what is it about you? What is it about you that makes you so special? Why do I feel so safe around you? Why do I feel so seen, heard, and valued around you? Because you will be practicing your coaching mindset. You will be giving them the space to be totally free to express who they are. And that's what coaching mindset is all about. That's about the freedom, about the partnership side. The second quality. Partnership is a language where you practice talking to people in a way that honors their freedom of choice. It's basically what it is. Hey, I would love to look at this this way. And then I still want to check in with you, if that's okay with you, too. That's it. That's partnership mindset versus, hey, we're doing it this way, and I cannot accept anything else. Whoa. Right? Rigid, strict. The other one, open, flexible, allowing, flowing. So that's where the difference is, and that's how you can understand somebody has a coaching mindset. Somebody understands the partnership language or not. Okay. And the third quality that I talked about. Curiosity. Oh, my goodness. Shininess. When you adopt curiosity as a way of life, you're going to be unbeatable because scientists are curious, right? The biggest experts are curious. The. The masters of our times are curious human beings. When curiosity becomes a program in your brain, your neurons are gonna shine with joy. They're gonna be always like this childlike curiosity, and you're gonna bring it everywhere you go. You're gonna be looking at people, situations, and life is an adventure. You're gonna get a ticket as you drive, and then you're gonna look at it. Oh, okay. Let me just, you know, have fun with this. What can I learn about this? And then you're just going to make it a party because you bring that childlike curiosity when somebody says something critical about you. Instead of going to all those colors in red and blue, you're going to switch your curiosity on and you're going to like. Interesting. I didn't know that I would come across that way. May I ask what makes you say that? You're just being curious. You're open. Nothing gets into your unbeatable. Do you understand that? That is the coaching mindset. And as you can tell, I get super passionate about it, even after 15 years. I love all the qualities of the coaching mindset. The freedom that gives us the partnership language that brings us in our conversations and the curiosity that becomes a running program in our everyday conversations and everyday activities. And it's a delicious life when you live like that, when you live life with a coaching mindset, when you make everybody feel safe, seen, heard, appreciated, and when they feel about, oh my God, there's something about you, your vibe and they're just going to be attracted around you and you're orbiting around you and then that's. That's a life that lived. Don't you think? My shiny minds. Don't you think so that's what coaching mindset is. What we covered is busting the assumptions and giving the qualities of a coaching mindset. I hope they're going to serve you. I know they're going to serve you because they are serving all of my coaching students in my course. All of my students are going through this transformation. They come to our coaching education thinking that coaching is like telling people what to do and then trying to fix and then understanding that it has nothing to do with it. And then, boom, they have to transform. They had to unlearn and they have to just become somebody else. So it becomes an identity shift. It becomes a transformation deep within. And then they walk away knowing that, wow, I didn't know I would transform myself so much. I thought I just came here to learn coaching, but. And then I have just become my best self ever. I am super transformed. I love who I am. I love how people take me seriously, how I take myself seriously, and how I can connect to others. I'm getting goosebumps as I speak all of these things to you. So I'm telling all of these things to you because it is my purpose and it is my passion to teach coaching in my academy of nourishing technology. Not only me, but, but I also have a full faculty from all countries and all walks of life that you can learn from. So if you would love to learn more about how you can join our academy and learn coaching skills, become a certified Coach, get your ICF credential, please go to my website shinyinsol.com and leave your email so that you can grab that free PDF download and then look at how the freedom coaching and making an impact come together and blend together for you to become a certified coach. With my nourishing technology I hope you liked this episode. There. Shine the minds. If you did, please put a like. Share with your friends and I'll subscribe for more videos just like this. Until next time, keep shining that light within you and never allow anybody to dim it. All right, you totally got this. And thank you for allowing my light to enter into your neurons. And until next time, keep shining your light. Go galactic. Then you're in the right place. Let's go. Let's go.