Frances's Incredible 10-Year Slimpod Transformation | Overcome Trauma & Achieve Lasting Weight Loss

I've got Frances Bentley here with me today, and Frances is a very special person in SlimPod community terms. Frances has lost weight, but she's kept it off for 10 years now. And, well, you— did you start SlimPod 10 years ago and you've kept the weight off since, or you've kept it off for 10 years, Frances? Tell me, what way round was that?

It's all started for me is the weight was coming on and I was losing control. And I think I did it as a protective thing because of the childhood trauma and everything that I went through. It shows up in different ways when you're born into that. When your parents are cruel, you don't actually fall out in love with them, you fall out of love with yourself. And you start like You're in this space where, you know, and I think at that time I was in my 50s and the weight was just coming on. So my mother-in-law bought me your course, the discs. And people said to me, aren't you offended? Does she think you're fat? Unfortunately, she's right.

And at that time, at that time, it was a CD system.

It was.

Which is quite amazing, uh, to think back that time. That was, that was 12 years ago. So, uh, then you, you, you started doing, uh, doing the program and you lost 3.5 stone, didn't you?

Yeah, I've literally— and what it was, I think because of the work I do, I was really interested in the way you speak to the brain because we do— our brain is so important of all of this. Mine was the trauma that was there. So it's— if you don't deal with that, you're not going to deal— if you don't deal with the root cause of why you're doing it. So because your program speaks to the brain, I didn't lose weight straight away, but what it started to do was program me to make better choices. So it took me a while to lose the weight, but it definitely stopped me putting any on.

Yeah.

And it's, it started— I, I'd liken it to, because I've been thinking to this, is that I was lost. It was like a wild horse not knowing where to go, what to do. And all of a sudden, somebody lassoed me and went, come on, this direction. And so it's, it's, it's a lifestyle choice. It's a check. It's not a quick Quick Fit, you know, and I can sit here now with the work that I've done thinking I feel fabulous. I think I'm 61 and 62 New Year's Day and I feel great. And when I've seen you and I thought Slimming World was such a big part of that journey of me going to the right place. So I'd say it's probably only the last 4 years, where 6 years probably, where the weight has actually come off.

Right.

And even now coming off. But what it did for me was start to program me in the right direction.

Yeah.

And she was making—

Yeah, you had such a lot of, I suppose, baggage. It was, you know, all, all the emotional stuff. And I should say that quite an extraordinary thing happened. I was speaking at an event about my book and I was talking about it, and then somebody said, but do you keep the weight off? And Frances pipes up, yes, I was doing it 10 years ago and I've kept the weight off. And I was just stunned. I couldn't believe that somebody in the audience, uh, was a SlimPodder and that, uh, and she'd kept the weight off for so long. And yeah, yeah, and, and just, just at that point, it was amazing. Um, but, um, You know, your, your, uh, history, uh, was, was really— or your relationship with food was really, um, emotionally disturbed very, very early in life, wasn't it?

Yeah, yeah. I won't go too deep because obviously I don't want to traumatize any listeners or anything like that, but I was the first battered baby ever publicized in England. So before I was 3 months old, my injuries were horrific. It went to Crown Court and got thrown out through lack of evidence because nobody had ever seen him hit me. And they blamed my mum and dad because they didn't know and sent me back. And we actually didn't leave till I was 13. So that trauma response, that, that I was in— if my dad had been really violent, I'd have switched Charlotte Roycroft-Davis. Da da da. And even when we did something good, every reward was food, sweet, chocolate. And I had a trauma attachment to food. So, you know, why my weight loss took a bit longer and why I'm so happy that Slim Pop put the brakes on for me is because I was coming from a really traumatized place. And I didn't know that. You know, when you've been born into it, trauma is your reality. I didn't know I was in trauma response, you know. So you are a gift, and what SlimPod did for me, pointing me in the right direction, was amazing. To sit in your company that day, listen to you talk and how much you want to give and how much you support women. I wanted you to know the impact that you had on my life. It was amazing. And all these steps point you into the direction that you go, now I have healthy relationship with food, a healthy size, you know, and all that. And I dress the way I want to dress. And not only, but mainly my internal universe, my world is strong and it's confident of who I am and how I turn up. And definitely SlimPod and what you produced was a big part of that and pointing me in the right direction, definitely.

Amazing. It just— I mean, did you know that when you started the program? Did you know you had to do that, or was it just that you were overweight and you felt that you had a difficult relationship with food? What was, what was the mindset when you started?

I nearly broke. And as I said, I just, I remember feeling lost, and my daughter wrote a beautiful poem for my book launch. She put, in this Part of it was, um, don't worry, the bones will heal. It's a trauma that will catch up with her one day. And then at the end she put, you see, the childhood she deserves, she gave to me. And I said, so that's made my life worth living. The fact you wrote that, that poem is just absolutely beautiful. So I didn't know I was broken, I just felt lost. Because I didn't know what the other side looked like. So I think I started about 30 years ago, um, going to a Buddhist temple, learning how to meditate. And then I did all these modalities— healing, Reiki, and all of this— that took me to a place where I started to really understand the mind. And then as I've done, I trained as a coach 25 years ago, not to be a coach at the time, but just to understand life better and me better and all of this. And that's when I— I mean, I didn't even see yours. My mother-in-law bought it for me. I mean, when you start on a path, don't people come out the woodwork that you didn't even—

Yeah, no, it's, it's— oh my goodness, it's very true. Um, certainly for me, um, without a shadow of a doubt. And then what started changing your relationship with food? How did, how did you— how did that kind of transpire? What did you start? I mean, it's a long time ago now, and I'm asking you to remember the first few days.

Luckily, I've got a good memory. I don't remember names, but I've got a good memory for things like that. I remember listening to it, and it was a bit of a ritual. So initially, it started to organize my process more. It gave me that. Then I remember getting up one morning and only having one piece of bread with like an open sandwich rather than a full cheese and ham toastie and all this. And then my portion size, I think, is the thing that hit me the most, started to get less. And you know what I said? I went, "Oh, I don't know what's happening to me, but I don't seem quite as hungry." And then I sat there and went, about a week or so later, I thought, "I'm listening to these, it's working." I haven't just got up one morning and made better decisions. It's working on my head. So I remember not really giving you the, um, what would you say, the acknowledgment, the wins to start with.

That's what a lot of people do. I saw something today saying, is this placebo, um, or the placebo effect? Because I'm not craving, um, and I've only been doing it 2 days. And, and so it's just fascinating, you know. How it kind of— and it's different for everybody.

Yes, of course.

And so how did it then get underneath? How did the emotional eating start to, you know, abate?

It took a long time for me to really realize what it was.

Okay.

That attachment to it. Because when you're born into that level of education, that level of abuse, you're just in survival mode. You never gave anything that much thought. I mean, I've gone off traveling, I've done this, and thankfully I've had an amazing life. What happened with my dad just drove me to learn more, to value myself more, and not repeat patterns later on with my daughter and, and all of this. And I think it's that with food It's put— it's not repeating the patterns.

Exactly that.

Yeah, and that's what you— it started to reprogram my brain, to be honest, without me really realizing it until probably way down the line. And I looked at how come I'm feeling the way I am, and I feel so much better. And then, and then when I, I found, like, about you, and I thought, God, Slim, pod was such a big part of my journey. So, you know, sometimes you don't always see happening, but if you commit to the system and you listen to it, just let it do what it's going to do. Even if you think it's not working, just do it because it is. It's, it's speaking in your brain. So, you know, it probably sounds a little bit over the top, but I'm just going to share it. I have a lovely life and writing my book has been the best thing that's ever happened to me. If I never sold a copy, the peace it's given me inside is amazing. But it didn't just happen like that. It's been years of making the right decisions for me, and that's what SlimPod— me deciding to invest in me the time and do it was the start of my journey of that really living my authentic true life. Amazing. And you know, it's— yeah, I was just— if you're out there and you're on it and you think, you— all you need to do is commit to listen to it, commit to turn up for yourself, make the contract with yourself. You're worth it. And that's now all I get up every morning is, what value can I give to that day and how much can I love myself? Because the more I'm I'm in a good place, the more I give to everybody else is at a higher value. So it's just choosing love for yourself, and that starts with making right choices and turning up for yourself each day. And that's what SlimPod did for me. I turned up— well, laid down each night with it on. So, but it's consistency and just allowing the process.

And it is. And, and you're not I mean, what you said about self-love, that's— that, that is, um, a section of my book because it is so important, uh, because, you know, people do use food in all sorts of ways. And, and, you know, it is also sometimes a form of self-harm, um, as well as reward or comfort or, you know, alleviating boredom. Food is just used in so many ways that isn't about hunger. Um, and so yeah, it just, um, it, uh, it totally is. But it's just fabulous to hear your story.

I love that what you just said though. I love that what you just said, and I've read it, is that in your, in your mind and turning off, turning up for yourself and being that committed, that we eat because of this relationship And I think, you know, from 0 to 7 years old, we just absorb everything around us. So if you think of what had happened to me up until 7, that might— my relationship with food was cooked. Yeah. So no wonder I took a long time to really get to where I am now. But it's turning up, making the choices, and understanding that sometimes you need help and support. And I think that with you and SlimPod and being on there is, is the help and support that you can have, that you are enough and you should invest in yourself. My dad's behavior wasn't mine to keep, and my eating habits were given to me when I couldn't make choices. That was in there. So now, as I've got older and I can make choices, I choose things to help me support myself in those choices, because it's still ongoing, you know. You're programming yourself all the time to make better choices. So, um, I need to get my disc out and start. I thought the other day, I'm gonna get— I've been reading the book and everything. I thought, no, I'm gonna do it again just to keep in that space.

Yeah, it's funny, it's funny you're saying disc out because now of course it's download.

Download. And showing my age, it's just very funny.

Now it's, um, an audio recording on a download that people use on their phones, believe it or not.

Oh my Oh my God. I know a couple of my friends have got on there and downloaded, and there's videos and everything now, isn't there?

Yeah, there is.

Yeah, because obviously I've been talking about it since I met you, and I was with Penny and all that, and they all like said, yeah, we're getting on it. And I think, well, that's good because it helps with every choice.

Yeah.

I know yours is dairy food, but once you take control of one element of your life, yeah, what you're saying to yourself is you're worthy. And I'm looking after you. So then you start turning up in other areas of your life in a better frame of mind.

Absolutely, absolutely amazing. Uh, honestly, uh, it's just been fabulous chatting with you because it, you know, it's, it's the whole— it's the real deal. It's the whole picture of 10 years of mindset change, but also the body responding, uh, because what you've done, uh, what size were you when you started?

18 plus, really. I had— I remember having— I could put 18 trousers on, but I, um, had to have an elasticated waistband.

And now you're a size 10 or something, aren't you?

Yeah, 10 to 12, depends on what they are. Size 10 to 12, yeah.

But you've, you've been that size now consistently for a while?

For a long time, yeah. And it started to come down because I even remember thinking, oh God, you know, the next size is a 20 and all of this. And it wasn't so much the— I know we all want to look our best. I still looked fabulous, by the way, just saying. But it's the health implications.

Yeah.

You know, it is the health. And also what I was thinking about our conversation. I was always really skinny, always, right up to, I suppose, 40. I remember I was still really skinny, a size 8. I could eat what I liked. Then all of a sudden I feel bad because I, relationship-wise, I didn't build good relationships. I had sort of— I attracted the wrong type of men that, you know, couldn't be faithful and all of this sort of thing. So I think the weight was like a protection. It was like I just started eating, eating, eating. And also, I didn't change my diet. And they said— I don't know whether this is true or not, but they say if you eat the same every decade, you'll put a stone on every decade. I don't know whether that's true, but it's something that I read. And I never changed the way I eat. I could always eat everything. So I carried on eating everything, but my body couldn't deal with everything I was putting in.

Yeah.

And also the weight for me, when I look back now, was like a safety blanket where relationships were concerned as well.

Right.

I felt safe with that weight around me.

Right. So it was just, I mean, the last 20 years or so that you put on the weight? Mm-hmm.

Gosh. I was tiny. I was looking for some photographs for you the other day. I'll have to send them over. I was looking, thinking, oh my gosh, look, you know. But it's about how you feel inside about yourself. You know, and how you turn up somewhere. If some— if whatever you're feeling inside is stopping you being you, it's stopping you turning up in spaces, whether it's family parties, what's been stopping you going out the door, then you need to invest. You need to look after yourself because, you know, we can still get out and interact and add value every day as long as we find that we can add value. And it starts by adding value to yourself. What's making you upset? What's— and mine was my weight. And when I had my 60th birthday 18 months ago, I thought, right, if I'm lucky enough to live to 70, what do I not want to repeat over this next decade? Write the book. Write the book. My auntie sent me a newspaper cutting. My mum died just over 10 years ago, and the newspaper cutting was from 1964. And it named me, my mum and dad, and some of the injuries and the address. Because it was the first one to go to Crown Court, everything was in the newspaper. And even though I'd always known, actually reading it like that made me think, oh my God. So now I look back at the woman that put weight on and the woman that said, I'm so proud of myself for committing to things that would make me be me now and be a better mum and be this, that and the other and move forward. You know, so if I said being on here with you, it's just saying, well, stick with it. Whatever weight is comfortable for you is comfortable for you. I'm a size 10 to 12. I don't want to be a size 8, you know. I'm happy at the weight I am. Whatever size is happy for you, just to be able to keep that control, it make better choices for yourself.

Yeah.

Gonna make you feel better, hasn't it?

So, so what would you say to a SlimPodder who was literally starting starting their journey, say in the first 10 days, what would you— what would your advice be as, as the sage— I'm not going to say old owl— the sage owl, and up there in the tree, who's, who's, who's been there, done it, and, and, you know, and still kept the weight off 10 years later. What would, what would you say to that person?

I would say turn up for yourself, consistency, and believe in the process. Because your mind is being used to behaving a certain way, and it wants you to continue behaving that way. What you do, start speaking to your brain and saying, no, come on, let's— this is how I felt you did for me. God, this is how you really want to be. So believe in the process, turn up for yourself, And when there comes a choice between you doing that or something else, that moment in time, listen to your downloads now, because it's your commitment to yourself, and your body will feel. There's an exercise that we do, a lot of people probably know it. If you put your arm out and you, uh, think of something sad, you can push your arm down like that really easily. Have you seen it? And then there's another one where they say think of something happening, you can't move your arm. That's how quick negative thoughts impact your body. So just keep on telling yourself you're worth it. You're just then sending positive messages to your body, and you are worth it. Really, I'm going to talk to you now, you are worth it. We are worth it. Yeah, we really are. We have a right to walk this earth being who we're meant to be. And we have to make little steps towards that.

So I'm guessing, I mean, this is obviously at work, obviously the SlimPod process helps with the whole, you know, with the self-worth stuff feeling because it is, that's part of what it is. But I'm guessing because of what you went through as a child, you had done so much work on that as well because of the way you're talking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I think I didn't know I started when I nearly broke. So I went to a, um, a Buddhist temple and learned to meditate. Then I did Reiki regularly. So I did all these modalities just as a way of life. Then I trained as a coach as a way of life. Um, but then COVID hit, and what I was doing as profession just stopped overnight. And I thought, do I go back to that or do I follow my passion? So I retrained during COVID to work all the modalities, everything that's there now. I trained, you know, as a coach and that. And it impacts— I mean, my daughter's 34, she's never been smacked, she only knows love. She really turns up, she's happy being Jessica. And my grandson is the same, he started school this, this September, and he will keep all confidence. So when we make choices for ourselves, better choices for ourselves, it heals generations forward. Yeah, because how we talk to ourselves and how we turn up for ourselves impacts the people around us and our families, you know. So to me, something like— I know I'm a bit gushy, but it was such a big part of my life and such— turned me in the right direction. So thank you.

Oh no, honestly, thank you for coming and sharing your story, uh, because it's only, um, I, I really feel, you know, that it was fate meeting you that day, uh, wasn't it? Seriously, uh, you know, it's just honestly quite extraordinary.

Yeah.

Um, And, uh, and you just coming to have this chat is, uh, is really, really amazing because, uh, you're gonna be helping so many people, uh, as a result as well, um, and giving them hope and, uh, you know, and guidance, like a, like a little mentor in their head.

Oh no, thank you. And if I can, you know, if anybody watches this and feels inspired to stick with it then thank you for giving me this space to support and hopefully inspire others to make the better choices for themselves.

You're really welcome. Thank you, thank you, um, Frances. It's just been fantastic. Thank you.

Pleasure. Thank you.