Michelle spent decades chasing thinness to satisfy others, cycling through diets and exercise that always failed. She realized she didn't actually want to be thin for herself, only to escape judgment. Now she focuses on being healthy enough to play with her grandchildren and enjoy her family instead.
So yeah, I just feel like my whole life that I felt like I was judged very much on what I weighed. I could achieve academically, I could do all these other things in my life, but somehow none of that counted if I was overweight. But invariably, always put it all back on and more. Invariably reached a point where I couldn't sustain whatever restrictive dieting or excessive exercising routine I've got in place wasn't sustainable, and the wheels came off. And then you'd have that sense of failure of, "Oh, I can't do this. I'm just destined to be fat, so I might as well eat everything that there is in sight." And then you'd completely go off the rails. And I think that is the really big change, the really big mindset change. And I think also the other side of it is I'm not driven so much by, "Oh, I have to be slim to meet everyone else's expectation of me." It's not about that anymore. And I really was thinking about this last night, about all my life. Was I actually that bothered about being thin, or have I tried to be thin just because I thought that's what I owed everyone else? And it's not about looking like the COVID of a magazine. It's about being able to do the things I want to be able to do with my son and my grandchildren and my husband. You know, so yeah, that is an enormous, enormous shift in my mindset.
